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Man: Where have you been all my life?
Woman: Hiding from you.

Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.

Man: Is this assento empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.

Man: Your place or mine?
Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.

Man: So, what do you do for a living?
Woman: I'm a female impersonator.

Man: oi baby, what's your sign?
Woman: Do not enter.

Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Woman: Unfertilized.

Man: Your body is like a temple.
Woman: Sorry, there are no services today.

Man: I would go to the ends of the world for you.
Woman: But would you stay there?

Man: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
Woman: If I could see you naked, I'd probably die laughing.

Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put u and i together.
Woman: Really? I'd put f and u together.

Man: Your eyes, they're amazing.
Woman: Seeing your back would be pretty amazing.

Man: Did it hurt when you fell from Heaven?
Woman: About as much as when you got kicked out of Hell.

Man: Why aren't you married yet?
Woman: Because having a husband and a child would be redundant.

Man: I know how to please a Woman.
Woman: Well, please leave me alone.

Man: Please whisper those 3 little words that would make my day!
Woman: Go to hell

Man: Say, haven't we met before?
Woman: Yes, I'm the head Nurse at the VD clinic.

Man: I can tell that you want me.
Woman: You know, you're dead right...I want you to go away!
added by Gretulee
added by Mollymolata
added by nmdis
I laughed so hard when I read this and I just had to share it

1. Guys hate sluts even though they have sex with them!

2. "Hey, are you busy?" or "Are you doing something?" ~ two phrases guys open with to stop from stammering on the phone.

3. Guys may be flirting around all dia but before they go to sleep, they always think about the girl they truly care about.

4. Before they call, guys try to plan out a little about what they're going to say so there aren't awkward pauses, but once he's on the phone he forgets it all and makes it up as he goes.

5. Guys go crazy over a girl's smile when they’re...
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added by Rodz
Source: desktopnexus
link

Æ æ ❖ ℘ℑℜℵ♏η αβεℓℓα· ¨…¦┅┆┈
┊╱╲╳¯– —≡჻░▒▓ ▤▥▦▧▨▩█ ▌▐▀▄ ◠◡╭╮╯╰ │┤╡╢╖╕╣ ║╝╜╛ ┐ └┴┬├─┼
╞╟╚╔╩╦ ╠═ ╬╧╨╤ ╥╙╘╒╓ ╫╪┘┌
{。^◕‿◕^。} (◕^^◕) ✖✗✘♒♬✄ ✂✆✉✦✧♱ ♰♂♀☿❤❥ ❦❧ ™®©♡♦ ♢♔♕♚♛★ ☆✮ ✯☄☾☽ ☼☀☁☂☃☻ ☺☹ ☮۞۩ εїз☎☏¢ ☚☛☜☝☞☟✍
✌☢☣☠☮☯ ♠♤♣♧♥ ♨๑❀✿ ψ☪☭♪ ♩♫℘ℑ ℜℵ♏ηα ʊϟღツ回...
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posted by Sandfire_Paiger
1. ಥ_ಥ

2. ಠ_ಠ

3. Q(^.^Q) (Winner)

4. ~<>" (Mouse)

5. [¬º-°]¬ (Zombie attack)

6. (ô ô) (Surprise)

7. fO_o (Scratching head)

8. c):{) (Smiling Cowboy)

9. (9ò_ó)=@ (Throwing a punch)

10. b(~_^)d, d-(^_^)-b, (b^_^)b (Thumbs up)

11. q(-_-)p (Thumbs down)

12. (ρ_-)o (Tired/Rubbing eyes)

13. ø(._.<) (Writing)

15. -_-*,,|, (*sigh* Middle finger)

16. m/ |>_<| m/ (ROCK ON!!)

17. ~(O_O)~ or ~(O_o)~ (Flying espaguete Monster)

18. ಠ_ಠ ಥ_ಥ (Staring eyes/Crying eyes)

19. (O.0)/ (I don't know!)

20. ()xxxx{======> Sword

21. ¯(º o)/¯ (Shrug)

22. @_'-' (Snail)

23. <=O=(^^^)=O=>...
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added by TheLefteris24
just being random!
video
added by cici1264
Source: The rock dressed as miley cyrus
They both had nose jobs.
They both over-obsess about a certain guy.
They both loosed weight over their teenage years purposely.
They both hate everybody.
They both have thier "posse."
They both had a facial implant.
They both thier parents and wish they were borne somebody else.
They both have issues with their body.
They both wear makeup. (Voldemort likes the goth, angered soul type. It suits him better.)
They both can't trust anyone, but themselves.
And that's it:)
Role Play:
Voldemort: "What?! What is this filthy mudblood saying about me?"
Deatheater: "Well Lord it seems that she is calling you an...
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posted by invadercalliope

Just killing time until the world ends.
Rika Furude (Higurashi no Naku Koro ni)

◦Friends are nothing mais than the the people who you spend the fun yet meaningless times with. When those times get rough, they aren't there to support you.
Ryuuguu Rena (Higurashi no Naku Koro ni)
"I will live past June 1983, and then I am going to grow much taller, my breasts are going to get bigger. I'm not going to stay in a child's body for the rest of my life!"
"It's so cute, I want to take it home!"

"Omochiikaeri~!"

"Friends. Those companions you speak of are only friends during those fun, yet unimportant...
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added by fanfly
Source: wallpaperswide.com
Jetzt geht's los Freunde
Hier ist Markus Becker und die Mallorca Cowboys und das rote Pferd

Wir singen zusammen
Da hat das rote Pferd sich einfach umgekehrt
und hat mit seinem Schwanz die Fliege abgewehrt
Die Fliege war nicht dumm,
sie machte summ,summ,summ
Und flog mit viel Gebrumm
um's rote Pferd herum

lalalalalala lalalalalala lalalalalalalalalalalala
lalalalalala lalalalalala lalalalalalalalalalalala

Ok Freunde,
das war nicht schlecht für antro, den Anfang
Aber da geht noch was
Seit ihr gut drauf? Jaaa
Habt ihr lust zu feiern? Jaaa
Dann macht euch bereit und singt mit uns zusammen


Die Fliege...
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added by RoohWinchester
Source: google