1. Unplug the refrigerator.
2. Turn the forno on.
3. Rearrange the furniture. (Turn a bedroom into a dining room, and vice versa.)
4. Hide the remote.
5. Hide the television.
6. Hide the pets.
7. Change the answering machine message.
8. Turn off the answering machine.
9. Change the speed dial numbers.
10. Change the alarm clock time to twelve hours earlier.
11. Add an extra goldfish to the goldfish bowl.
12. Leave a condom wrapper under a sofa cushion.
13. Make yourself a meal. Be polite and wash the dishes.
14. See how much pay-per-view porn you can order in one day.
15. Set the TiVo to record nothing but infomercials.
16. Leave a note on their computer that says "Thanks for the files."
17. Leave a note anywhere that says "I'll be back."
18. Leave a note listing a website address. Set up a website and post a fotografia of yourself sitting on their toilet. (Don't forget to wear a ski mask.)
19. Replace a crucifix with Mickey Mouse.
20. Install video surveillance equipment. Leave a tape of yourself installing it.
21. Paint "Helter Skelter" on a wall.
22. Replace mural fotografias with fotografias of someone else's family.
23. Replace products with similar products of a different brand. If they own Heinz ketchup, replace it with Hunt's. If they own Tide laundry detergent, replace it with All.
24. Tie a nylon string across each doorway at shin level.
25. Paint their bathrooms black.
26. Paint their mirrors black.
27. Paint their windows black.
28. Nail their windows shut.
29. Put a skeleton in a closet.
30. Stuff a travesseiro with live crickets. (Available at your local pet store.)
31. Hang dead things from the ceiling.
32. Wrap a miscellaneous animal organ in aluminum foil and leave it in the freezer.
33. Empty the sugar container and replace it with Sweet & Low.
34. Fill every glass in the cozinha cabinet with water. (They might not spill the segundo or third glasses, but fill them all anyway.)
35. Turn off the phone ringers.
36. Leave the stereo, alarm clock, and televisão volume set to maximum.
37. Exchange the contents of two clothing drawers.
38. Grease the banisters.
39. Leave counterfeit paw prints up a wall, ending at a ceiling vent.
40. Put a rubber salmoura, pickle in the salmoura, pickle jar. Replace the jar's label with a label identical in every way except for the phone number for complaints. (I could tell you what phone number to include, but why don't you figure it out?)
41. Call for comida delivery. Repeat two dozen times quickly before leaving.
42. Make urine ice cubes.
43. Pee in the shampoo.
44. Take the book jackets off the hardcover books and put them around multiple copies of the same cheap book you purchased previously at a dollar store. If you can get copies of a book with blank pages, even better.
45. Unscrew the light bulbs.
46. Hide the toilet paper.
47. Put their possessions into piles based on color.
48. Make a bathtub full of iced tea.
49. Bring in a small, battery-powered recording device. Turn it on and play a looping recording of a young girl whispering, "Jesus is coming." Unscrew a ceiling vent and throw it in as far as you can.
50. Plant weeds in the flowerpots.
By: Jason Roth
2. Turn the forno on.
3. Rearrange the furniture. (Turn a bedroom into a dining room, and vice versa.)
4. Hide the remote.
5. Hide the television.
6. Hide the pets.
7. Change the answering machine message.
8. Turn off the answering machine.
9. Change the speed dial numbers.
10. Change the alarm clock time to twelve hours earlier.
11. Add an extra goldfish to the goldfish bowl.
12. Leave a condom wrapper under a sofa cushion.
13. Make yourself a meal. Be polite and wash the dishes.
14. See how much pay-per-view porn you can order in one day.
15. Set the TiVo to record nothing but infomercials.
16. Leave a note on their computer that says "Thanks for the files."
17. Leave a note anywhere that says "I'll be back."
18. Leave a note listing a website address. Set up a website and post a fotografia of yourself sitting on their toilet. (Don't forget to wear a ski mask.)
19. Replace a crucifix with Mickey Mouse.
20. Install video surveillance equipment. Leave a tape of yourself installing it.
21. Paint "Helter Skelter" on a wall.
22. Replace mural fotografias with fotografias of someone else's family.
23. Replace products with similar products of a different brand. If they own Heinz ketchup, replace it with Hunt's. If they own Tide laundry detergent, replace it with All.
24. Tie a nylon string across each doorway at shin level.
25. Paint their bathrooms black.
26. Paint their mirrors black.
27. Paint their windows black.
28. Nail their windows shut.
29. Put a skeleton in a closet.
30. Stuff a travesseiro with live crickets. (Available at your local pet store.)
31. Hang dead things from the ceiling.
32. Wrap a miscellaneous animal organ in aluminum foil and leave it in the freezer.
33. Empty the sugar container and replace it with Sweet & Low.
34. Fill every glass in the cozinha cabinet with water. (They might not spill the segundo or third glasses, but fill them all anyway.)
35. Turn off the phone ringers.
36. Leave the stereo, alarm clock, and televisão volume set to maximum.
37. Exchange the contents of two clothing drawers.
38. Grease the banisters.
39. Leave counterfeit paw prints up a wall, ending at a ceiling vent.
40. Put a rubber salmoura, pickle in the salmoura, pickle jar. Replace the jar's label with a label identical in every way except for the phone number for complaints. (I could tell you what phone number to include, but why don't you figure it out?)
41. Call for comida delivery. Repeat two dozen times quickly before leaving.
42. Make urine ice cubes.
43. Pee in the shampoo.
44. Take the book jackets off the hardcover books and put them around multiple copies of the same cheap book you purchased previously at a dollar store. If you can get copies of a book with blank pages, even better.
45. Unscrew the light bulbs.
46. Hide the toilet paper.
47. Put their possessions into piles based on color.
48. Make a bathtub full of iced tea.
49. Bring in a small, battery-powered recording device. Turn it on and play a looping recording of a young girl whispering, "Jesus is coming." Unscrew a ceiling vent and throw it in as far as you can.
50. Plant weeds in the flowerpots.
By: Jason Roth
oh, this show is a blast so far! blood, guts, mayhem, sex, lots of swearing, drugs and of course demons. and it all works perfectly! i amor watching the I.M.P shenanigans Blitzo and co. get themselves into.
but so far, Episode 2 is my favorite. never would've i thought we'd get so much character depth for Stolas of all characters. he might be a total pervert, but he sure is a good father. and his song.... wow! that brought a tear to my eye. i never thought he'd have such a beautiful voice.
also, i can't forget about Octavia. i've only known her for one episode, but she's already up there as one of my favorito characters (along with Loona, of course). i really hope Vivzie brings her back for another episode. maybe have her and Loona on a girls' night together. that'd be great to watch!
all i can say now is: i can't wait to see what episode 3 has in store for us.
but so far, Episode 2 is my favorite. never would've i thought we'd get so much character depth for Stolas of all characters. he might be a total pervert, but he sure is a good father. and his song.... wow! that brought a tear to my eye. i never thought he'd have such a beautiful voice.
also, i can't forget about Octavia. i've only known her for one episode, but she's already up there as one of my favorito characters (along with Loona, of course). i really hope Vivzie brings her back for another episode. maybe have her and Loona on a girls' night together. that'd be great to watch!
all i can say now is: i can't wait to see what episode 3 has in store for us.