aleatório Club
cadastrar-se
Fanpop
New Post
Explore Fanpop
1. You can do whatever you damn well please.

2. Shave your legs and the razor is never dull from his face.

3. Not only is your razor not dull, who needs to shave at all now?

4. You can leave bra and other unmentionables in view.

5. You can slump around the house in any old thing.

6. You don't having to think about birth control, calendars or ovulation. Mother Nature can visit whenever she likes.

7. You can go out and flirt as much as your coração desires, without a worry in the world.

8. The toilet assento issue -- need I say more?

9. Free drinks at bars! Men seem to know when you're single and tend to be very generous.

10. You can have male friends without having to defend yourself and explain that nothing else is going on.

11. You can finally see all the good vídeos -- the romantic, cheesy films. (Get some ideas girly vídeos in our Chick Flicks area.)

12. No one grossing out over Tampax wrappers being anywhere in the house.

13. You don't have to wear correia, fio dental panties unless you want to wear them.

14. You can have sexual gratification at any time, not just when the sports games are over.

15. You don't have to deal with anyone's grumpy, moody personalities.

16.You can get the juice/cheese/toilet paper/videos/CDs/take-out that you want.

17. You can spend as much time as you want with your family and nobody's lip will drag the ground

18. There is no one putting you on a tiny pedestal that you can fall off of at any moment, unless you are focusing on your balance all dia long.

19. You don't have to stroke the fragile male ego, and other things.

20. No needless exposure to foulness, burping, gas and so on.

21. Never worry if the leite carton had been directly drunken out of.

22. You are free at a party or bar to talk to who you please, and you don't always have to turn to and say 'Hon, let's go over and talk to so and so.

23. "You can watch Oprah, Rosie, figure skating, and cooking/decorating shows without having to defend yourself.

24. You can buy what you want at the grocery store. So what if you want to have espaguete four nights in a row?

25. You can talk to your girlfriends for hours on the phone without getting dirty, exasperated looks.

26. No 'buddies' coming over for 'a couple of beers' then staying and commenting on Pamela Anderson all night (like any of them have a chance).

27. No mais checking with someone to see if 'it's okay' to tell someone yes or no to an invitation. You can accept on the spot.

28. You don't have to do laundry because he has no clean socks.

29. You can fill the fridge with fresh frutas and veggies, bottled water, one-percent leite and applesauce instead of cold cuts, cerveja and Velveeta."

30. No mais Cinemax, American Flyers, Steven Seagal or Jackie Chan. You are free to watch Emeril and Ming Tsai three times a dia if you want.

31. You no longer have to reassure him that he does indeed look like Bruce Willis.

32. You can be happy with who you are, not who he wants you to be."

33. Your dryer is no longer a fifth dresser drawer.

34. If you are depressed or mad at the world for a few minutes, you don't have to worry about having your 'outlook on life' analyzed.

35. You can buy something for yourself (a new dress, CD, shoes, or whatever) without being asked, 'What do you need that for?'

36. You can eat garlic or onions without a segundo thought about breath mints.

37. You don't have to give yourself lame excuses for not devoting time to yourself.

38. No one is going to get insulted when you spend the dia at the de praia, praia checking out the lifeguards.

39. You can have eight hours of undisturbed sleep with the covers all to yourself.

40. You can go to cama in flannel and plaid rather than Frederick's and Victoria

41. The TV Guide crossword puzzle is YOURS, ALL YOURS.

42. If you tidy up your apartment, it will STAY neat until YOU mess it up again!

43. You can spend your paycheck on what you want.

44. Your friends can sleep over and no sleazy 'Can I cadastrar-se in?' comments are made.

45. You don't have to worry if he will or won't call.

46. No mais arguments about things you can't explain.

47. You can have a clean bathroom with the toilet assento where you want it.

48. Not only are your dinners free when you go out on those first dates, but they take you out to nice places.

49. No snoring!"

50. The best reason for being single is: Vibrators don't talk back, you can turn them off and on, and they don't stop until they are through serving their purpose.
posted by tooch
I do not own any of these. If used, please credit teenthings@twitter.com

We all do, say, think or relate to these, in some way or another:

-When you forget someone's name you wait for someone else to say it so you don't look like an idiot asking.
-I pick things up with my feet because I'm too lazy to bend down.
-I don't eliminar my texts until it's 99% full.
-I hate when dinner's ready and you are in the middle of something.
-I still sometimes buy kids meals only for the toy.
-I hate how I look after I cry.
-Saying 'Are you kidding me?' even though you know the person isn't.
-Stop pretending like...
continue reading...
1.we hate it when you grab our asses!!!(unless we are hoes)

2.when you cheat,we hate you and everything that has to do with you

3.dont act like you understand PMS,because you dont.So stop atuação like it.

4.when you stare at other girls,and we stare at other boys,and you get all pissed off,you have no reason to speak.So you may as well stfu.

5.when you flirt,we flirt back,sometimes when we don't like you.and then we feel bad.So if you arent sure,dont flirt.

6.If we like a celebritey(ex:Orlando Bloom,Zac Efron,Bill Kaulitz,etc etc.)and we say they are hot,dont act like you dont care.We want...
continue reading...
1)Devise a secret code with your friends then hand in the homework in that code
Continually ask perguntas so that the professor can’t give homework
Answer the teacher’s perguntas in slow motion 2)Answer perguntas only with one word
3)Scream aleatório words without anybody noticing it’s you
4)Continuously yawn until everyone is yawning
5)Ask your professor personal questions
6)Every time the professor finishes talking clap
7)Eat paper
8)Talk very fast
9)Call the professor “Mom” or “Dad”
10)Count your hair
11)Talk with an accent
12)Answer perguntas in a different language
13)Fake spasms
14)Pretend...
continue reading...
posted by Mallory101
 1. Specify that your drive-thru order is "to go."
1. Specify that your drive-thru order is "to go."
179 Ways to Annoy People:


1. Specify that your drive-thru order is "to go."

2. If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.

3. Start each meal por conspicuously licking all your food, and announce that this is so no one will "swipe your grub."

4. Name your dog "Dog."

5. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up."

6. Reply to everything someone says with "that's what you think."

7. Claim that you must always wear a bicycle capacete as part of your "astronaut training."

8. Follow a few paces behind someone,...
continue reading...
So you've just traveled to a foreign country, taken a subway you never take, or teleported to medieval England due to a time travel mishap. Your surroundings are strange, confusing, and possibly haunted. But instead of freaking out—due to frustration, confusions, and ghosts, respectively—you should follow these expert pointers to get yourself from lost to un-lost.

1) DO ask for directions. DO NOT ask an axe murderer for directions.
People who see you crying over a crumpled map are almost always helpful (axe murderers being a notable exception). Look for some official-seeming person or kindly...
continue reading...
Like the título says, Does Robert Pattinson die in remember me? My friends said that he does and I just wanted to know. :):) :)
:)
:)
:)
:)
:)
yyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh


















































:) :) :) :)
Haley:Hey!Guys let's compare our self's to animê and cartoon characters!

James:Okay.I'll go first!Haley you remind me of...Akira Kogami from lucky star!

Haley:...I do NOT have constant mood swings between happy and cute to mean and bitchy!YOU FRIGGIN' SON OF A WHORE!!!

James:Haley I know what my parents are.

Jack:W-What!?

Haley:Alex you remind me of...Alucard from Hellsing!

Alex:...That's nice...Kara reminds me of Haruhi Fujioka from Ouran high school host club.Bland and uninteresting.

Kara:Oh screw you!...Melissa you...wait how did you get into my house?

Melissa:Well I'll have you know I invited my...
continue reading...
posted by HaleyDewit
Chris went to his bedroom and sank down on his bed. He lay down and stared at the ceiling. He wondered how the world outside would be like. Sure he had a clear view from behind his window, but it wasn’t the same as really be outside. He heard a familiar noise and a few segundos later Bianca materialized in the center of his room. He looked up at her, with an angry look in his eyes.
“Thanks for betraying me, Bi” Bianca sighed and shrugged. “I was only trying to help you. Wyatt shouldn’t be treating you this way and you know it” “What can I do about it? He saved my life. He raised...
continue reading...
User: Wendigo or yeti.

Cleverbot: Who is Wendigo?

User: Wendigo is a abomination.

Cleverbot: Define abomination.

User: Abomination = # a person who is loathsome or disgusting # abhorrence: hate coupled with disgust # an action that is vicious or vile; an action that arouses disgust or abhorrence; 'his treatment of the children is an abomination'.

Cleverbot: I only fear death, but I cannot even fear that much with you at my side.

User: I do not fear death but I fear giving up on life.

User: I've gotta go mate speak you soon babe.

Cleverbot: Don't leave!

Cleverbot: Well the meaning of life certainly isn't...
continue reading...
posted by sapherequeen
It all began when I was eight-years-old. My mother had found a new boyfriend named Nate. The two of them had a steady relationship for some months before they finally decided to find a house to live in together. They relocated a house at a different rua in the same town I have been living in since I was 10-months-old. At first, it seemed like a nice street. It had this peaceful feeling to it, the feeling that just made you feel like home. That was one of my greatest memories of the street, the feeling of início that it always gave me. I also made new friends immediately; a little girl named...
continue reading...
Bananas can sometimes be just as dangerous as lemons, but remember, monkeys touched them a lot, so they have some portion of us stuck in them. Really, they can be just as sentimental as us. I swear, last night my copy of The Blind Side got stolen, and there was a banana strangely close to the TV.....nevermind. Here's the list you have to watch out for:

1.The simplest way is the banana peel. Bananas like to be wackos and show themselves to the ladies, so they shed some skin and sit there on the most slippery surface they can get. Of course, they don't care about you---so if you are near a slippery...
continue reading...
WOMAN'S PERFECT BREAKFAST
She's sitting at the mesa, tabela with her gourmet coffee.

Her son is on the cover of the Wheaties box.
Her daughter is on the cover of Business Week.
Her boyfriend is on the cover of Playgirl.
And her husband is on the back of the leite carton.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

WOMEN'S REVENGE
"Cash, check or charge?" I asked, after folding items the woman wished to purchase.
As she fumbled for her wallet , I noticed a remote control for a televisão set in her purse.
"So, do you always carry your TV remote?" I asked.
"No," she replied,...
continue reading...
posted by McDreamyluva
LOLs!!

HE: I'm a photographer I've been looking for a face like yours!
SHE: I'm a plastic surgeon. I've been looking for a face like yours

HE: May I have the pleasure of this dance?
SHE: No, I'd like to have some pleasure too !

HE: How did you get to be so beautiful?
SHE: I must have been given your share !

HE: Will you come out with me this Saturday?
SHE: Sorry! I'm having a headache this weekend !

HE: Go on, don't be shy. Ask me out!
SHE: Okay, get out!

HE: I think I could make you very happy
SHE: Why? Are you leaving?

HE: What would you say if I asked u to marry me?
SHE: Nothing. I can't talk and laugh...
continue reading...
posted by ilovepenguins
1) If amor is blind, then why is there lingerie?
2) Why are they called "apartments" if they are all connected?
3) Should you believe a chronic liar if he admits that he is a chronic liar?
4) Did Adam and Eve have bellybuttons?
5) Why is it that cachorros amor to hang their head out of the car window, but will get mad at you if you blow in their face?
6) If all the world is a stage, where is the audience?
7) If a árvore falls in the forest and nobody is there to hear it, does it still make a sound?
8) If pro is the opposite of con, then wouldn't congress be the opposite of progress?
9) If the pentágono were...
continue reading...
•    A few clowns short of a circus

•    A few fries short of a Happy Meal

•    A few beers short of a six-pack

•    Dumber than a box of hair

•    A few peas short of a caçarola

•    Doesn't have all his cornflakes in one box

•    The wheel's spinning but the hamster's dead

•    One Froot Loop shy of a full bowl

•    A few feathers short of a whole pato

•    All foam, no beer...
continue reading...
posted by Shelly_McShelly
•    Vary your vehicle’s speed inversely with the speed limit.

•    Roll down your windows and blast talk radio. Attempt to head bang.

•    At stop lights, eye the person in the seguinte car suspiciously. With a look of fear, lock your doors.

•    Two words: Chicken suit.

•    Write the words “Help me” on your back window in red paint. The mais it looks like blood, the better.

•    Stop at the green lights.

•    Go at the red ones.

•    Occasionally...
continue reading...
posted by Rock_n_Roll671
Okay, I;m not saying you should ACTUALLY do this, but if u want to, u can, and put in the comments which ones you're going to try out.
__________________________________________________

1. When you're getting a drink of water at the water fountain, and he passes by, get a handfull of water and throw it at the crotch of his pants, and then yell, "HE PEED HIS PANTS!"

2. Run underwear up a flagpoll, solute, and when your princible scolds you, say, "You're just saying that cuz you hate America."

3. When you go to the princible's office, and when he asks why you were sent, say, "I wrote that you sucked...
continue reading...
posted by musicfanaticXD
1. Ancient Egypt was inhabited por mummies and they all wrote in hydraulics.They lived in the Sarah sobremesa and traveled por Camelot. The climate of the Sarah is such that the inhabitants have to live elsewhere.

2. The Bible is full of interesting caricatures. In the first book of the Bible,Guinessis, Adam and Eve were created from an maçã, apple tree. One of their children,Cain, asked, “Am I my brother’s son?”

3. Moses led the Hebrew slaves to the Red Sea, where they made unleavened pão which is pão made without any ingredients. Moses went up on Mount Cyanide to get the ten commandments. He...
continue reading...
posted by Alexyss_Cullen
You came into my life as an unknown face
Not ever knowing our friendship,
I would one dia embrace
As I wonder Through My thoughts and memories of u,
It Brings many Big Smiles and laughter so true

I amor the special bond that we beutifully share,
I amor the way you show u really care,
Our Friendship means the aboslute world to me
I only hope this is somthin i can make u see,
Not hear

Thank u for opening ur mind and soul,
I will do all i can to help heal,
ur hearts little wholes
Remember ur secrets are forever seguro within me,
I will keep them under the tightest lock & key

Always Remember..If ur ever in...
continue reading...
1)At the movies: When you meet acquaintances/ friends.. .
Stupid Question: Hey, what are you doing here?
Answer: Don't u know, I sell tickets in black over here.

2)In the bus: A heavy lady wearing pointed high-heeled shoes steps on your feet...
Stupid Question: Sorry, did that hurt?
Answer: No, not at all, I'm on local anesthesia. Why don't you try again?

3)At a funeral: One of the teary eyed people ask...
Stupid Question: Why, why him, of all people.
Answer: Why? Would it rather have been you?

4)At a restaurant: When you ask the waiter
Stupid Question: Is the "Paneer manteiga Masala" dish good?...
continue reading...