1. You can do whatever you damn well please.
2. Shave your legs and the razor is never dull from his face.
3. Not only is your razor not dull, who needs to shave at all now?
4. You can leave bra and other unmentionables in view.
5. You can slump around the house in any old thing.
6. You don't having to think about birth control, calendars or ovulation. Mother Nature can visit whenever she likes.
7. You can go out and flirt as much as your coração desires, without a worry in the world.
8. The toilet assento issue -- need I say more?
9. Free drinks at bars! Men seem to know when you're single and tend to be very generous.
10. You can have male friends without having to defend yourself and explain that nothing else is going on.
11. You can finally see all the good vídeos -- the romantic, cheesy films. (Get some ideas girly vídeos in our Chick Flicks area.)
12. No one grossing out over Tampax wrappers being anywhere in the house.
13. You don't have to wear correia, fio dental panties unless you want to wear them.
14. You can have sexual gratification at any time, not just when the sports games are over.
15. You don't have to deal with anyone's grumpy, moody personalities.
16.You can get the juice/cheese/toilet paper/videos/CDs/take-out that you want.
17. You can spend as much time as you want with your family and nobody's lip will drag the ground
18. There is no one putting you on a tiny pedestal that you can fall off of at any moment, unless you are focusing on your balance all dia long.
19. You don't have to stroke the fragile male ego, and other things.
20. No needless exposure to foulness, burping, gas and so on.
21. Never worry if the leite carton had been directly drunken out of.
22. You are free at a party or bar to talk to who you please, and you don't always have to turn to and say 'Hon, let's go over and talk to so and so.
23. "You can watch Oprah, Rosie, figure skating, and cooking/decorating shows without having to defend yourself.
24. You can buy what you want at the grocery store. So what if you want to have espaguete four nights in a row?
25. You can talk to your girlfriends for hours on the phone without getting dirty, exasperated looks.
26. No 'buddies' coming over for 'a couple of beers' then staying and commenting on Pamela Anderson all night (like any of them have a chance).
27. No mais checking with someone to see if 'it's okay' to tell someone yes or no to an invitation. You can accept on the spot.
28. You don't have to do laundry because he has no clean socks.
29. You can fill the fridge with fresh frutas and veggies, bottled water, one-percent leite and applesauce instead of cold cuts, cerveja and Velveeta."
30. No mais Cinemax, American Flyers, Steven Seagal or Jackie Chan. You are free to watch Emeril and Ming Tsai three times a dia if you want.
31. You no longer have to reassure him that he does indeed look like Bruce Willis.
32. You can be happy with who you are, not who he wants you to be."
33. Your dryer is no longer a fifth dresser drawer.
34. If you are depressed or mad at the world for a few minutes, you don't have to worry about having your 'outlook on life' analyzed.
35. You can buy something for yourself (a new dress, CD, shoes, or whatever) without being asked, 'What do you need that for?'
36. You can eat garlic or onions without a segundo thought about breath mints.
37. You don't have to give yourself lame excuses for not devoting time to yourself.
38. No one is going to get insulted when you spend the dia at the de praia, praia checking out the lifeguards.
39. You can have eight hours of undisturbed sleep with the covers all to yourself.
40. You can go to cama in flannel and plaid rather than Frederick's and Victoria
41. The TV Guide crossword puzzle is YOURS, ALL YOURS.
42. If you tidy up your apartment, it will STAY neat until YOU mess it up again!
43. You can spend your paycheck on what you want.
44. Your friends can sleep over and no sleazy 'Can I cadastrar-se in?' comments are made.
45. You don't have to worry if he will or won't call.
46. No mais arguments about things you can't explain.
47. You can have a clean bathroom with the toilet assento where you want it.
48. Not only are your dinners free when you go out on those first dates, but they take you out to nice places.
49. No snoring!"
50. The best reason for being single is: Vibrators don't talk back, you can turn them off and on, and they don't stop until they are through serving their purpose.
2. Shave your legs and the razor is never dull from his face.
3. Not only is your razor not dull, who needs to shave at all now?
4. You can leave bra and other unmentionables in view.
5. You can slump around the house in any old thing.
6. You don't having to think about birth control, calendars or ovulation. Mother Nature can visit whenever she likes.
7. You can go out and flirt as much as your coração desires, without a worry in the world.
8. The toilet assento issue -- need I say more?
9. Free drinks at bars! Men seem to know when you're single and tend to be very generous.
10. You can have male friends without having to defend yourself and explain that nothing else is going on.
11. You can finally see all the good vídeos -- the romantic, cheesy films. (Get some ideas girly vídeos in our Chick Flicks area.)
12. No one grossing out over Tampax wrappers being anywhere in the house.
13. You don't have to wear correia, fio dental panties unless you want to wear them.
14. You can have sexual gratification at any time, not just when the sports games are over.
15. You don't have to deal with anyone's grumpy, moody personalities.
16.You can get the juice/cheese/toilet paper/videos/CDs/take-out that you want.
17. You can spend as much time as you want with your family and nobody's lip will drag the ground
18. There is no one putting you on a tiny pedestal that you can fall off of at any moment, unless you are focusing on your balance all dia long.
19. You don't have to stroke the fragile male ego, and other things.
20. No needless exposure to foulness, burping, gas and so on.
21. Never worry if the leite carton had been directly drunken out of.
22. You are free at a party or bar to talk to who you please, and you don't always have to turn to and say 'Hon, let's go over and talk to so and so.
23. "You can watch Oprah, Rosie, figure skating, and cooking/decorating shows without having to defend yourself.
24. You can buy what you want at the grocery store. So what if you want to have espaguete four nights in a row?
25. You can talk to your girlfriends for hours on the phone without getting dirty, exasperated looks.
26. No 'buddies' coming over for 'a couple of beers' then staying and commenting on Pamela Anderson all night (like any of them have a chance).
27. No mais checking with someone to see if 'it's okay' to tell someone yes or no to an invitation. You can accept on the spot.
28. You don't have to do laundry because he has no clean socks.
29. You can fill the fridge with fresh frutas and veggies, bottled water, one-percent leite and applesauce instead of cold cuts, cerveja and Velveeta."
30. No mais Cinemax, American Flyers, Steven Seagal or Jackie Chan. You are free to watch Emeril and Ming Tsai three times a dia if you want.
31. You no longer have to reassure him that he does indeed look like Bruce Willis.
32. You can be happy with who you are, not who he wants you to be."
33. Your dryer is no longer a fifth dresser drawer.
34. If you are depressed or mad at the world for a few minutes, you don't have to worry about having your 'outlook on life' analyzed.
35. You can buy something for yourself (a new dress, CD, shoes, or whatever) without being asked, 'What do you need that for?'
36. You can eat garlic or onions without a segundo thought about breath mints.
37. You don't have to give yourself lame excuses for not devoting time to yourself.
38. No one is going to get insulted when you spend the dia at the de praia, praia checking out the lifeguards.
39. You can have eight hours of undisturbed sleep with the covers all to yourself.
40. You can go to cama in flannel and plaid rather than Frederick's and Victoria
41. The TV Guide crossword puzzle is YOURS, ALL YOURS.
42. If you tidy up your apartment, it will STAY neat until YOU mess it up again!
43. You can spend your paycheck on what you want.
44. Your friends can sleep over and no sleazy 'Can I cadastrar-se in?' comments are made.
45. You don't have to worry if he will or won't call.
46. No mais arguments about things you can't explain.
47. You can have a clean bathroom with the toilet assento where you want it.
48. Not only are your dinners free when you go out on those first dates, but they take you out to nice places.
49. No snoring!"
50. The best reason for being single is: Vibrators don't talk back, you can turn them off and on, and they don't stop until they are through serving their purpose.
1) Lean over them when there asleep and sing a lullaby really loud and out of tune.
2) Every five minutos yell "The aliens are coming!"
3) Choose a specifice piece of cutlery (eg. a fork) and stare accusingly at that item every time you see it.
4) Buy face paints and paint their face when there asleep. Try doing something the person is afriad of. (eg. clown, zombie)
5) Announce that you are actually a secret agent, spying on somone who lives in your house.
6) Call your house number and announce that you are going on strike. If they ask for a reason, hang up. Caution: Make sure you dont get a wrong number!!
7) Put ice cubes in everyone's warm drink.
8) Every time they speak interrupt them with "Curiosity killed the cat."
9) Set alarms on your mobile/cell phone that go off every 10 minutes.
2) Every five minutos yell "The aliens are coming!"
3) Choose a specifice piece of cutlery (eg. a fork) and stare accusingly at that item every time you see it.
4) Buy face paints and paint their face when there asleep. Try doing something the person is afriad of. (eg. clown, zombie)
5) Announce that you are actually a secret agent, spying on somone who lives in your house.
6) Call your house number and announce that you are going on strike. If they ask for a reason, hang up. Caution: Make sure you dont get a wrong number!!
7) Put ice cubes in everyone's warm drink.
8) Every time they speak interrupt them with "Curiosity killed the cat."
9) Set alarms on your mobile/cell phone that go off every 10 minutes.
1.You abuse our amor you lose it.
2.When we find the right guy we amor him and NEVER want to lose him.
3.Our amor is a privlige NOT a right.
4.Our hearts are delicate items, so when we do give them to the guy we amor be careful with it.
5.Drinking will NOT impress us in any way shape or form.
6.Guys you should respect our feelings.
7.In our relationship with you (the guy) We have dominance to.
8.We're as good at listening as we are at talking.
9.When it comes to the guy we truly amor we will devote A LOT of our time to only you.
10.When you (the guy we love) break our hearts, you've pretty much killed us until we heal.
2.When we find the right guy we amor him and NEVER want to lose him.
3.Our amor is a privlige NOT a right.
4.Our hearts are delicate items, so when we do give them to the guy we amor be careful with it.
5.Drinking will NOT impress us in any way shape or form.
6.Guys you should respect our feelings.
7.In our relationship with you (the guy) We have dominance to.
8.We're as good at listening as we are at talking.
9.When it comes to the guy we truly amor we will devote A LOT of our time to only you.
10.When you (the guy we love) break our hearts, you've pretty much killed us until we heal.
Just leitura some of the terminator-Exterminador do Futuro frases through again... and actually found a hint on what happened between Arnold and the maid. Enjoy my version!
Maid: Nice night for a walk, eh?
Arnold Schwarzenegger: Nice night for a walk.
Maid #2: Wash dia tomorrow? Nothing clean, right?
Arnold Schwarzenegger: Nothing clean. Right.
Maid: Hey, I think this guy's a couple cans short of a six-pack.
Arnold Schwarzenegger: Your clothes... give them to me, now.
Maid: Fuck you, asshole!
Arnold nods.
I know there are a lot of people making fun of Arnold Schwarzenegger since he admitted to his wife that he's not only a cheater but a liar as well. You might get annoyed por it and think "Oh poor Arnie". But honestly? This guy just ASKED for it. It takes a big jerk to have a child with another woman, an even bigger one to keep it a secret for 14 years and the biggest one to only reveal it to his wife after he quit his job so there'd be no damage to his position.
Maid: Nice night for a walk, eh?
Arnold Schwarzenegger: Nice night for a walk.
Maid #2: Wash dia tomorrow? Nothing clean, right?
Arnold Schwarzenegger: Nothing clean. Right.
Maid: Hey, I think this guy's a couple cans short of a six-pack.
Arnold Schwarzenegger: Your clothes... give them to me, now.
Maid: Fuck you, asshole!
Arnold nods.
I know there are a lot of people making fun of Arnold Schwarzenegger since he admitted to his wife that he's not only a cheater but a liar as well. You might get annoyed por it and think "Oh poor Arnie". But honestly? This guy just ASKED for it. It takes a big jerk to have a child with another woman, an even bigger one to keep it a secret for 14 years and the biggest one to only reveal it to his wife after he quit his job so there'd be no damage to his position.