Looking for a laugh?
Say no more, look no further! :{D
1.
Two guys are taking the subway. One of them had a bunch of bananas and a jar of musterd. He peeled a banana, dipped it in the mustard and threw it out of the window. The other guy looked at him weird, but decided not to say anything. After a minuto or two, he did the same thing. Peeled the banana, put it in the mustard, and threw it out of the subway train!
"Why on Earth are you doing that." the guy said.
"Hell, do you like bananas with mustard?"
2.
Two guys, Buck and Jamie, were sitting with Mindy, Jamie's girlfriend, in a bar chatting. Buck was amorously glancing towards Mindy, but carefully of course, as Jamie is very jealous. When Jamie got to the bathroom real quick, Mindy whispered Buck hastily:
"Grab your chance! Now!!"
Buck looked around nervously, and drank Jamie's cerveja up in 1 draft, and ran away.
3.
Why do Japanese students always have such a high IQ? Ever seen a blonde Japanese kid?
4.
I used to hate weddingparties when I was younger. Everyone gave me a poke in my side, saying:
"Hey, when will it be your turn?"
They all stopped when I began doing the same thing... on funerals.
5.
"Tell me, Rose. You're married to an archaeologist, right? Isn't that boring?"
"Not at all! The older I get, the mais interesting I get to him!"
6.
So once upon a time there was a doctor who had sex with his patient. He has so many regret for it that his concious started to play games with him. To calm himself down, he continuously told himself:
"It's not that bad. You're not the first doctor who's been in cama with his patient, and you're certainly not going to be the last."
But then his other half pulled him inside the real world again, saying:
"But buddy... you're an animal doctor...
7.
So this blonde girl walked into a store.
"Mister, can I buy that tv from you?"
"I ain't selling nothing to blonde girls."
The blonde girl left, and returned to the store a while after, only with dark hair.
"Mister, can I buy that tv from you?"
"I ain't selling nothing to blonde girls."
The blonde girl left, and returned to the store a while after, only with purple hair.
"Mister, can I buy that tv from you?"
"I ain't selling nothing to blonde girls."
The blonde girl asked:
"I don't get it, I'm not even blonde anymore, why wouldn't you sell me that tv, mister?"
"Because this is a microwave!"
8.
Why did Napoleon wear a red vest? Because he was a hero whose environment wouldn't notice a thing if he was injured.
So now we know why Hitler wore brown pants.
9.
It's a warm, sunny say on the funeral. An old man was standing seguinte to an open grave, as a boy walked por and said:
"Feels great, huh gramps, taking a breath of fresh air?"
10.
Yesterday I've witnessed the greatest thing. I got início from an evening at the pub (not too late this time). I came inside and my wive received me, dressed in sexy roupa interior and holding only two velvet cords. She told me:
"Tie me up, and afterwards you may do anything you want..."
So I tied her up and went to get me another beer!
Say no more, look no further! :{D
1.
Two guys are taking the subway. One of them had a bunch of bananas and a jar of musterd. He peeled a banana, dipped it in the mustard and threw it out of the window. The other guy looked at him weird, but decided not to say anything. After a minuto or two, he did the same thing. Peeled the banana, put it in the mustard, and threw it out of the subway train!
"Why on Earth are you doing that." the guy said.
"Hell, do you like bananas with mustard?"
2.
Two guys, Buck and Jamie, were sitting with Mindy, Jamie's girlfriend, in a bar chatting. Buck was amorously glancing towards Mindy, but carefully of course, as Jamie is very jealous. When Jamie got to the bathroom real quick, Mindy whispered Buck hastily:
"Grab your chance! Now!!"
Buck looked around nervously, and drank Jamie's cerveja up in 1 draft, and ran away.
3.
Why do Japanese students always have such a high IQ? Ever seen a blonde Japanese kid?
4.
I used to hate weddingparties when I was younger. Everyone gave me a poke in my side, saying:
"Hey, when will it be your turn?"
They all stopped when I began doing the same thing... on funerals.
5.
"Tell me, Rose. You're married to an archaeologist, right? Isn't that boring?"
"Not at all! The older I get, the mais interesting I get to him!"
6.
So once upon a time there was a doctor who had sex with his patient. He has so many regret for it that his concious started to play games with him. To calm himself down, he continuously told himself:
"It's not that bad. You're not the first doctor who's been in cama with his patient, and you're certainly not going to be the last."
But then his other half pulled him inside the real world again, saying:
"But buddy... you're an animal doctor...
7.
So this blonde girl walked into a store.
"Mister, can I buy that tv from you?"
"I ain't selling nothing to blonde girls."
The blonde girl left, and returned to the store a while after, only with dark hair.
"Mister, can I buy that tv from you?"
"I ain't selling nothing to blonde girls."
The blonde girl left, and returned to the store a while after, only with purple hair.
"Mister, can I buy that tv from you?"
"I ain't selling nothing to blonde girls."
The blonde girl asked:
"I don't get it, I'm not even blonde anymore, why wouldn't you sell me that tv, mister?"
"Because this is a microwave!"
8.
Why did Napoleon wear a red vest? Because he was a hero whose environment wouldn't notice a thing if he was injured.
So now we know why Hitler wore brown pants.
9.
It's a warm, sunny say on the funeral. An old man was standing seguinte to an open grave, as a boy walked por and said:
"Feels great, huh gramps, taking a breath of fresh air?"
10.
Yesterday I've witnessed the greatest thing. I got início from an evening at the pub (not too late this time). I came inside and my wive received me, dressed in sexy roupa interior and holding only two velvet cords. She told me:
"Tie me up, and afterwards you may do anything you want..."
So I tied her up and went to get me another beer!
Disclaimer. I don't own anything but the question. May be SLIGHTLY offensive, I think, not sure, but VERY funny. Enjoy and PLEASE comment!!!
Q: name two benefits of having a general ledger.
A: 1. Well, a zombie soldier is pretty cool, but a CELEBRITY zombie soldier is AWESOME!!!!! no one can win aqainst a ZOMBIE!!!!!!! Plus who would want to hurt Heath, he's too freakin awesome!!!!!! So, any battle you're in, you can't lose!!!!!!!
2. You just KNOW his fangirls are gonna cadastrar-se your army! The sheer NUMBERS are gonna give you an advantage!!!!!!! You can't lose!!!!!!! You'd be INVINCIBLE!!!!!!!! WORLD DOMINATION IF YOU WANT!!!!!!!!!
And those are two benefits of having a General Ledger!!!!!
Teacher's note: Genral ledger is a BUISSINESS term, NOT an idea to take over the world with an army of fangirls and celebrity zombies!
Q: name two benefits of having a general ledger.
A: 1. Well, a zombie soldier is pretty cool, but a CELEBRITY zombie soldier is AWESOME!!!!! no one can win aqainst a ZOMBIE!!!!!!! Plus who would want to hurt Heath, he's too freakin awesome!!!!!! So, any battle you're in, you can't lose!!!!!!!
2. You just KNOW his fangirls are gonna cadastrar-se your army! The sheer NUMBERS are gonna give you an advantage!!!!!!! You can't lose!!!!!!! You'd be INVINCIBLE!!!!!!!! WORLD DOMINATION IF YOU WANT!!!!!!!!!
And those are two benefits of having a General Ledger!!!!!
Teacher's note: Genral ledger is a BUISSINESS term, NOT an idea to take over the world with an army of fangirls and celebrity zombies!
Passion unsustainable
My coração beats faster and faster whenever your
near,
Only to come to a cold stop when she passes by
My tears will go on forever
My smile isn’t real
And my coração is dividido, dividir in two
Every thought I ever had about you are buzzing in my head
I pray one dia i'll be under your arm
Holding your hand
beijar your lips
I hope one dia you dry my tears
See right through my fake smile
And repair my broken heart
Hi I'm Chelsea I Was Born December 3 1996 in Dallas Texas I'm 14 Years Old!! Now I'm Living In Brazil!! ...... I'm Kinda Tall I Way 107 Pounds ......I'm White With Blond Hair Hazel Eyes ..... My favorito Tv Shows Are Wizards Of Waverly Place Drake&Josh Of Course My favorito Singers Are Justin Bieber Selena Gomez marreco, drake Bell!☆ ..... My favorito Songs Are Selena Gomez Round & Round Justin Bieber Baby marreco, drake sino Our amor My lema I amor Being Alive :☆ ....,More Just Message Me In My caixa de entrada Thanks Ooh Please Comment
1.NEVER right a poem about them at your birthday party in front of every one
2.dont cheat on them u will be sorry
3.be honest
4.right down the dia u met dated and be came a thing to let him now u care
5.never act crazy (that mean no 50 cups of coffe)
6.spend time with him
you can trust me on this :)
7.he brakes up with u well i tryed mabey u dint follow my tips :3 cant help u there >:3
good luck YOU SAW NOTHING
NOTHING I TELL U >:3 NOTHING i have had lots of boyfriends my life i dumped them cuz there asses so i am taking my brake