Problem 1: You're asking for my honest opinion, and yet you say "plz dont be harsh", which leads me to believe that you are only asking for praise. 98% of the time that is the case with you kind of people.
Problem 2: "You kind of people" being the grammar fails. I'm incredibly hesitant to read any piece of composição literária por you because I'm doubtful that I'll actually be able to read it. (I can't stand txt tlk.)
Problem 3: "My Magical Life." No, does not capture my interest even slightly. It sounds like just another boring teenage novel written por a naive daydreamer. Not that there's anything wrong with the latter, just the former.
