Do you work at Subway? Because you just gave me a footlong.
Hi, do you want to have my children? [No] OK, can we just practice then?
There will only be 7 planets left after I destroy Uranus.
You're like my little toe, because I'm going to bang you on every piece of furniture in my home.
I'm no weather man, but you can expect mais than a few inches tonight.
Forget that! Playing doctor is for kids! Let's play gynecologist.
oi babe, how about a pizza and a f**k? [No] What's wrong, don't you like pizza?
Do you work for UPS? I could have sworn I saw you checking out my package.
Your breasts remind me of Mount Rushmore - my face should be among them.
oi baby, I think you just made my two por four into a four por eight.
I'll give you a nickel if you tickle my pickle.
You are so selfish! You're going to have that body the rest of your life and I just want it for one night.
What's the speed of sex? [what?] 68. Because at 69 YOU have to turn around!
I'm an astronaut and my seguinte mission is to explore Uranus.
If I had AIDS, would you have sex with me? [No] Well, I don't, so let's go.
Excuse me, but do you give head to strangers? [No] Well then, allow me to introduce myself.
Miss, If you've lost your virginity, can I have the box it came in?
(Use index finger to call someone over then say) I made you come with one finger, imagine what I could do with my whole hand.
Hold out two fingers and say: "Why should a woman masturbate with these two fingers?" (I don't know.) "'Cause they're mine sweetheart."
Let's go back to my room and do some math: Add a bed, subtract our clothes, divide your legs, and multiply.
Do you wanna come to the Marines, or would your rather have a Marine come into you?
There are 265 bones in the human body. How would you like one more?
Why don't you come over here, sit on my lap and we'll talk about the first thing that pops up?
oi baby, as long as I have a face, you'll have a place to sit.
Do you take Visa?
How do you like your eggs? Poached, scrambled or fertilized?
You smell... We should go take a chuveiro together.
Would you like a hotdog to go with those buns?
Are you a virgin? [No] Prove it!
You bring a whole new meaning to the word, "edible."
I don't know what you think of me, but I hope it's X-rated.
I'm a writer, you're a writer, how about we get naked together and put some poesia in motion?
"I have this magic watch that can actually talk to me. Seriously, it's saying something right now. It says that you're not wearing any underwear, is that true?." [No.] "Oh wait, my watch is an hora fast!
I like your hair, your eyes, your smile... I like every bone in your body... Especially mine!
Lets play "Titanic." When I say "Iceburg!" you do down.
Would you like to try an Australian kiss? It is just like a French kiss, but down under.
This is a condom. If we put it on, we can have sex.
Do you believe in free love? [No] Then how much do you cost?
Gee, that's a nice set of legs, what time do they open?
Hi, I'm gay. Do you think you can convert me?
If I'm a pain in your ass... We can just add mais lubricants.
[Walk into her chest] "If they weren't sooo large, it wouldn't have happened!"
What are you doing tonight? Besides me, of course?
Will you be my girlfrien? I left out the 'd' cause you'll get that later!
My name is Skittles... wanna taste my rainbow?
Are those pants on sale? Cause they're 100% off at my place!
I'm with the TSA and I need to perform a full body cavity search, for security reasons.
I only have 12 hours to live... please don't let me die a virgin.
I'm bigger and better than the Titantic - only 200 women went down on that vessel!
What is a nice girl like you doing in a dirty mind like mine?
What has 132 teeth and holds back the Incredible Hulk? My zipper.
With my IQ and your body, we could make a race of superchildren and conquer the earth!
Hi, do you want to have my children? [No] OK, can we just practice then?
There will only be 7 planets left after I destroy Uranus.
You're like my little toe, because I'm going to bang you on every piece of furniture in my home.
I'm no weather man, but you can expect mais than a few inches tonight.
Forget that! Playing doctor is for kids! Let's play gynecologist.
oi babe, how about a pizza and a f**k? [No] What's wrong, don't you like pizza?
Do you work for UPS? I could have sworn I saw you checking out my package.
Your breasts remind me of Mount Rushmore - my face should be among them.
oi baby, I think you just made my two por four into a four por eight.
I'll give you a nickel if you tickle my pickle.
You are so selfish! You're going to have that body the rest of your life and I just want it for one night.
What's the speed of sex? [what?] 68. Because at 69 YOU have to turn around!
I'm an astronaut and my seguinte mission is to explore Uranus.
If I had AIDS, would you have sex with me? [No] Well, I don't, so let's go.
Excuse me, but do you give head to strangers? [No] Well then, allow me to introduce myself.
Miss, If you've lost your virginity, can I have the box it came in?
(Use index finger to call someone over then say) I made you come with one finger, imagine what I could do with my whole hand.
Hold out two fingers and say: "Why should a woman masturbate with these two fingers?" (I don't know.) "'Cause they're mine sweetheart."
Let's go back to my room and do some math: Add a bed, subtract our clothes, divide your legs, and multiply.
Do you wanna come to the Marines, or would your rather have a Marine come into you?
There are 265 bones in the human body. How would you like one more?
Why don't you come over here, sit on my lap and we'll talk about the first thing that pops up?
oi baby, as long as I have a face, you'll have a place to sit.
Do you take Visa?
How do you like your eggs? Poached, scrambled or fertilized?
You smell... We should go take a chuveiro together.
Would you like a hotdog to go with those buns?
Are you a virgin? [No] Prove it!
You bring a whole new meaning to the word, "edible."
I don't know what you think of me, but I hope it's X-rated.
I'm a writer, you're a writer, how about we get naked together and put some poesia in motion?
"I have this magic watch that can actually talk to me. Seriously, it's saying something right now. It says that you're not wearing any underwear, is that true?." [No.] "Oh wait, my watch is an hora fast!
I like your hair, your eyes, your smile... I like every bone in your body... Especially mine!
Lets play "Titanic." When I say "Iceburg!" you do down.
Would you like to try an Australian kiss? It is just like a French kiss, but down under.
This is a condom. If we put it on, we can have sex.
Do you believe in free love? [No] Then how much do you cost?
Gee, that's a nice set of legs, what time do they open?
Hi, I'm gay. Do you think you can convert me?
If I'm a pain in your ass... We can just add mais lubricants.
[Walk into her chest] "If they weren't sooo large, it wouldn't have happened!"
What are you doing tonight? Besides me, of course?
Will you be my girlfrien? I left out the 'd' cause you'll get that later!
My name is Skittles... wanna taste my rainbow?
Are those pants on sale? Cause they're 100% off at my place!
I'm with the TSA and I need to perform a full body cavity search, for security reasons.
I only have 12 hours to live... please don't let me die a virgin.
I'm bigger and better than the Titantic - only 200 women went down on that vessel!
What is a nice girl like you doing in a dirty mind like mine?
What has 132 teeth and holds back the Incredible Hulk? My zipper.
With my IQ and your body, we could make a race of superchildren and conquer the earth!
Arthur is 90 years old. He's played golf every dia since his retirement 25 years ago. One dia he arrives início looking downcast. "That's it," he tells his wife. "I'm giving up golf. My eyesight has become so bad that once I hit the ball I couldn't see where it went."
His wife sympathises and makes him a cup of tea. As they sit down she says, "Why don't you take my brother with you and give it one mais try."
"That's no good" sighs Arthur, "your brother's a hundred and three. He can't help."
"He may be a hundred and three", says the wife, "but his eyesight is perfect."
So the seguinte dia Arthur heads off to the golf course with his brother-in-law. He tees up, takes a mighty balanço and squints down the fairway.
He turns to the brother-in-law and says, "Did you see the ball?"
"Of course I did!" replied the brother-in-law. "I have perfect eyesight".
"Where did it go?" says Arthur.
"I don't remember."
His wife sympathises and makes him a cup of tea. As they sit down she says, "Why don't you take my brother with you and give it one mais try."
"That's no good" sighs Arthur, "your brother's a hundred and three. He can't help."
"He may be a hundred and three", says the wife, "but his eyesight is perfect."
So the seguinte dia Arthur heads off to the golf course with his brother-in-law. He tees up, takes a mighty balanço and squints down the fairway.
He turns to the brother-in-law and says, "Did you see the ball?"
"Of course I did!" replied the brother-in-law. "I have perfect eyesight".
"Where did it go?" says Arthur.
"I don't remember."
