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posted by energizerbunny
No stretch marks, no worrying about your diet, you can get on every ride in carowinds, and other amusement parks


If you wanna gain a little weight all you have to do is stuff your face!! Burgers, fries, shakes...Everything!!!


No hating to try on clothes. No getting embarrassed when someone asks you what your size is or how much you weigh. No hating to look at yourself in the mirror


I mean when you think of women you think of Petite. Right??



I don't wanna offend someone, curbs are great! And all women are beautiful! But for me as an indivisual, it'd be easier to just be skinny lol
Some people may ask, "Why Invader Zim first?" I say SCREW IT, ILL DO WHAT I WANT! In any case, the show is one of my favorites. It represents a better time for Nick. Better shows, better actors, better Nick. Altough this is a time since past, Nicktoons has made the GENIUS(sp?) decision to bring it back.
If you look at the definition of Invader Zim on Wikipedia(again, sp?), it says that IZ employs a comedy style called "black comedy". Basically, this means that IZ uses dark methods of humor, such as the gluttonus "Bloaty the pizza Hog", or perhaps just the dark scenery in IZ (it gives a very...
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posted by invadercalliope
I hope you enjoy!
:D
20 Funny Quotes
1:You tries your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is 'never try'
2:I didn't lose my mind, I just sold it on eBay
3:A good friend will bail you out of jail, a best friend will be sitting seguinte to you saying "Dude that was freakin awesome!"
4:Accept that some days you're the pigeon. and some days you're the statue
5:There is a fine line between fishing and just standing on the costa like an idiot.
6:Quote me as saying I was mis-quoted
7:Never give up things that once made you smile
8:Clear as a sino my nody said "Listen fatty...do it and die
9:Caution water on...
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34 aleatório facts about me..:)


1. My name is Emily.

2. I will always stick up for what I beleive in.

3. I really want a pet that's not a fish.

4. Cheryl Cole is my idol and inspiration.

5. música is my life.

6. I amor to sing and songwrite.

7. I can do interesting things with my lips (yeah, my lips...)

8. I amor to dance, act and sing.

9. I play guitar.

10. A lot of people pick on me at school, but I also have the most amazing friends, and they mean the world to me.

11. I amor to write poems.

12. I want to be an actor, singer or dancer when I'm older.

13. rua dancing is the most amazing feeling.

14. I'm...
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*If I had forgetten something else please let me know thanks :) :P*



So, long atrás me and my brother Kyle here
We was hitch hiking down a long lone-some road
When all of a sudden, there shined the shining demon..
And he said!
"Play the best song in the world..or I'll eat your souls..."
So we each looked at each other and said "OK!"
So we played the song that just so happened to be! The best song in the world! It was the best song in the world! Look into my eyes and its easy to see when a one makes two and two and one makes destiny...
Once every thousand years or so,
Is when the sun dont shine and the...
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FRIENDS: Lend you their umbrella
BEST FRIENDS: Take yours and say 'RUN DUDE! RUN!'

FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink.
BEST FRIENDS: Helps themselves and are the reason why you have no food.

FRIENDS: Call your parents por Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, por Grandpa.
BEST FRIENDS:Call your parents DAD and MOM and Grandpa, GRAMPS!

FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail.
BEST FRIENDS:Would be sitting seguinte to you sayin "THAT WAS FREAKIN' AWESOME!!"

FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry.
BEST FRIENDS: Won't tell everyone else you cried...just laugh about it with you in private when your not down anymore.

FRIENDS:...
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(CREATED por RAE RI, NOT ME)

Chuck Norris can make onions cry.


Chuck Norris can eliminar the Recycling Bin.


Ghosts are actually caused por Chuck Norris killing people faster than Death can process them.


Chuck Norris can strangle you with a cordless phone.


Chuck Norris can build a snowman out of rain.


Chuck Norris once had a coração attack; his coração lost.


Chuck Norris doesn't turn the light on; he turns the dark off.


The last digit of pi is Chuck Norris. He is the end of all things.


Chuck Norris' calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd. No one fools Chuck Norris.


When Chuck Norris looks in a mirror, the mirror shatters; not even a mirror is stupid enough to get between Chuck Norris and Chuck Norris.


Chuck Norris's tears can cure aids, too bad he never cries. (silvaze9)
1. Ask him why he 'doesn't have such a cool scar?'

2. Laugh at him.

3. Wake him up por cantar de praia, praia Boys songs in his ear. 'Round, round, get around, I get around...'

4. Knit him things. Really hideous things.

5. Give him kangaroo-ears for a month.

6. Smile during Death Eater meetings and say you taught him everything he knows.

7. Chew bubblegum all the time. Should he address you, your only response will be a series of huge bubbles in quick succession, the last of which will burst everywhere and make a mess.

8. Dance the Funky Chicken.

9. Ask him when was the last time he took a bath.

10....
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posted by heavenly13
yea...it sounds beter with the rythem and all that( ive recorded it with drums, piano , gutair...ext) and the forms probily bad.,,,,....but plzz read it and comment!!!!and be honest


WHo's dating who

walkin' down the hallway talking with my fiends
the gossip never ends
who like's who
who hate's you
who has the cutest new shoes


then i turn around and see you
and relize

Chourus: All i want is you...I dont wanna be cool. Who cares about all of this. lets get together and froget who's "in" and whos "out" , you know what its all about. I dont care about who's dating who...unless its me and you......
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posted by boomerlover
Impossible to Please

A group of girlfriends is on vacation when they see a 5-story hotel with a sign that reads: "For Women Only." Since they are without their boyfriends and husbands, they decide to go in.

The bouncer, a very attractive guy, explains to them how it works. "We have 5 floors. Go up floor por floor, and once you find what you are looking for, you can stay there. It's easy to decide since each floor has a sign telling you what's inside."

So they start going up and on the first floor the sign reads: "All the men on this floor are short and plain." The friends laugh and without hesitation...
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1. Ask him why he 'doesn't have such a cool scar?'
2. Laugh at him.
3. Wake him up por cantar de praia, praia Boys songs in his ear. 'Round, round, get around, I get around...'
4. Knit him things. Really hideous things.
5. Give him kangaroo-ears for a month.
6. Smile during Death Eater meetings and say you taught him everything he knows.
7. Chew bubblegum all the time. Should he address you, your only response will be a series of huge bubbles in quick succession, the last of which will burst everywhere and make a mess.
8. Dance the Funky Chicken.
9. Ask him when was the last time he took a bath.
10....
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posted by Shelly_McShelly
20 Things To Do In A Drive Through Lane

1. Stand close to the speaker and yell your order, using colorful expletives in ways which would embarrass the patrons inside.

2. Drive through backwards.

3. Belch your order.

4. After ordering, cover the speaker and mic with transparent tape. Watch as customers and order-takers are unable to hear each other and, thus, each raises his/her volume.

5. Barter. Offer a Whopper for a Big Mac.

6. Walk through.

7. Speak a foreign language (make one up if you have to). When the manager comes to the mic, speak English and inquire as to why the order taker had such difficulty...
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posted by ihavOTD
 I am Anti- Miley because of this:
I am Anti- Miley because of this:
OH MY GOSH! I was just watching stupid HM and near the end, Miley and Lily started talking about-guess who? ROBERT PATTINSON. That's sick. here is their convo:(at least what though I heard)

" It's just sad that you can't find a bf..." Lily says.
" Yeah... Hey, I guess Hannah can encontro, data Robert Pattinson!" Miley says
" Oh....Robert Pattinson is SO dreamy...."
Thats sickening Disney. I feel bad for Rob. He can't hide ANYWHERE...
Really, do you realize how crazy and gross a lot of fãs are???? Here is a gross artigo about some crazed fans:

Robert Pattinson Approached por “Gross”, “Bleeding”...
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added by Mollymolata
posted by invadercalliope
Hi i'm Invader Calliope!
1.I cry for the time that you were almost mine, I cry for the memories i've left behind,I cry for the pain, the lost, the old the new,i cry for the times i thought i had you.
2.Not all scars show, not all wounds heal sometimes you can't always see the pain someone feels
3.One dia you'll ask me, "which is mais important to you, me or your life" i'll say "My Life" and you'll go and leave me without knowing you are my life.
4.A breakup is like a broken mirror. It is better to leave it broken than hurt yourself trying to fix it.
5.if your amor does NOT work for that person,...
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added by liridonarama96
posted by Seanthehedgehog
Song: link

People: *Watching the 2016 Powerpuff Girls*

Stop the song, and play this sound effect: link

Tom Kenny: *Appears on the TV screen, and talks in his narrator voice* Ladies, and gentlemen, you finally get to see my gorgeous face. Also, you shouldn't be tortured por the reboot. I'm going to tell you the real story about the Powerpuff Girls.

Song: link

Tom Kenny: Sugar. Spice, and everything nice. These were the ingredients chosen to create the perfect little girls, but Professor Utonium accidentally added an extra ingredient to the concoction. Chemical X!
Professor: *Gets moved backwards...
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posted by Windrises
Notes: Credit goes to the creators and owners of Game of Thrones. This fã story is meant for comedy so please don't take it seriously.

Sansa Stark walked outside the kingdom. It was late in the morning, but she was already tired.

Tyrion walked to her and said "How's it going?"

She said "Bad and I won't tell you why." Tyrion could tell she was in a bad mood so he walked away.

She felt like talking to nobody, but Jon Snow showed up. She growled.

Jon Snow said "I have sad news. Grand Maester Pycelle got killed."

She sarcastically said "I'm going to miss that creepy old guy."

Jon said "Sister...
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Picture this. You're a newspaper boy in the 1880's and your headlines just don't seem to be selling as well as they used to. Therefore, your company decides to change things up and start lying just a LITTLE bit.

...Well, at least of your definition of lying a LITTLE bit is completely changing the título of your papers to something amusing and spreading misinformation just to rake in mais cash from the public. And mine is!

So today, people. We're going to go dive headfirst into the world of clickbait. But first and foremost, the most important pergunta of them all.

What exactly IS clickbait?

Basically...
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