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posted by BellaCullen96
Act like you know the order taker from somewhere. Say, "BedWetter’s Camp, right?"
Add extra letters to words, ex: pizza becomes pizzzzzzzaaaaaaa
After ordering, say, "I wonder what THIS button on the phone does." Simulate a cutoff.
Amuse the order taker with little-known facts about country music.
Answer their perguntas with questions.
Ask about pizza maintenance and repair.
Ask for a deal available somewhere else. (e.g., If phoning Domino's, ask for a Cheeser! Cheeser!)
Ask for chips/fries with everything!
Ask for extra homo-sapien
Ask for the guy who took your order last time.
Ask how many...
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posted by invadercalliope
CCAALLIIOOPPEE
CCHHAANNEELL!
HIA EVERYBODY!
I'm your host InvaderCalliope!
Well i'm going to sing! *sings*
WELL AS YOU KNOW I GET TONS AND TONS OF fã LETTERS! NOW I WILL READ ONE TO YOU!
The Letter reads:Big hello to InvaderCalliope on this show i allways see a new guest estrela so i was wondering how do you do it?
YOU WANNA KNOW BECAUSE ITS AN HONOR TO BE ON THIS SHOW BEING ON THIS SHOW AS ME AS THE HOST!
Well todays guest estrela is..............KEEF!
Keef:HI EVERYONE I HOPE ZIM AND DIB ARE WATCHING THERE MY BEST FRIENDS!
InvaderCalliope:You know your friends are going to think your pathetic.
Keef:WHAT!
InvaderCalliope:You herd me if you make them know your there whole world there going to use you!
OH NO WERE OUTTA TIME!
WELL BYE!
BUT FIRST PLZ ENJOY TODAYS SPECAIL PICTURE!
BYE ME!
To Deadly Quit

Emily and Katlyn were celebrating a pretty Valentine's dia together. Emily had cooked a stupid jantar and they ate on a log por candlelight.

"My darling," Katlyn said, stroking Emily's booty, "I have something for you." She gave a box to Emily. "It is but a quick token of my lesbian love."

Emily opened the box. Inside was a speedy snake! She gazed at it dreadfully. Then she gazed at Katlyn dreadfully. "It's iggnorant," Emily said. "Come here and let me quit you."

Just then, a dumb crone sprang out of hiding and cackled like a smile that stretches ear to ear. "Your happiness will not...
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I know some perguntas about canada that non-canadians ask about Canada, i'm going to tell you the respostas


first, you can NOT see polar bears in the rua and we don't ride the them either we use CARS.


second, we live in houses, not igloos we would probably freeze after awhile


Thats all i know but know you won't think canadians live in igloos and if Miley cyrus is leitura this and did say canada sucks,WELL IT DOESEN'T SUCK!!!!
IT ROCKS!!! i'm proud to live in Canada.

:)
"My name is Melody Willgrove and I am a werewolf."
"Now I never found myself pretty or anything I am just a normal girl(well as normal as a werewolf girl can be any way).''I am just a normal girl .Though every guy in the pack thinks I am sexy, but I have know idea why .''I mean what so good looking about me I have deep red hair (which has a mind of it own ),I am too skinny (blow away in the wind to skinny ),I am a shorty (5 foot ) ,and I am pale (burn a lot ).''The only two things I like about myself is my grey eyes(their like my dad's ) and my b-cups ,hey if I am going to be skinny I derserve...
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posted by Emoshinell
RUSH
---------
They say it's good to take your time
But it can be hard to do so
So I find myself asking the same perguntas
Over and over again

Whenever I rush into something
I'm told to slow down or else I'll get burned
But who knows
Maybe it's good sometimes
To rush into things
'Cause I know you know it's right So I say

(Chorus)
Let's rush
I know there's nothing wrong we can do
If we follow our hearts
Whether we rush
Or we take our time
So let's rush

I want you to know this
That I'll never leave your side
We may rush or we may not
I want you to know this
I want you to know this
So I say

(Chorus X2)

Let's rush
Let's rush
1. Her eyes were like two brown circles with big black dots in the center.

2. He was as tall as a 6′3″ tree.

3. Her face was a perfect oval, like a círculo that had its two sides gently compressed por a Thigh Master.

4. From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you’re on vacation in another city and Jeopardy comes on at 7:00 p.m. instead of 7:30.

5. John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.

6. She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up.

7. The ballerina...
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posted by AlxanderRfan
I don’t know what makes you so dumb but it really works.

Anybody who told you to be yourself simply couldn’t have given you worse advice…

Hi there, I’m a human being! What are you?

Shouldn’t you have a license for being that ugly?

Don’t let you mind wander – it’s far too small to be let out on its own.

Are you always this stupid or are you making a special effort today?

Sure, I’ve seen people like you before – but I had to pay an admission.

If you took an IQ test, the results would be negative.

Sure, I’d amor to help you out…now, which way did you come in?

Brains aren’t everything....
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posted by zanesaaomgfan
1. Ask him why did he marry a woman like your mom

2. Tell him you met a guy in school

3. Sing a song he hates

4(reply to number 3) When he plays a song he likes, ask: "What awful music. How do you listen to that crap?"

5. When he is driving you(anywhere), constantly ask "where are we going?"

6. Call him por his name[Not so risky, always done it as a kid!]

7. When he lectures you, after he finishes it, ask him: "Ever heard of breath mint?"

8. Tell him that Justin Bieber is your favorito guy[If you hate Bieber, go with Cody Simpson or some who you like ALLOT!]

9. Come início saying you found your true...
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added by Rodz
Source: desktopnexus
posted by x-menobsessed26
There used to be a rua named after Chuck Norris, but it was changed because nobody crosses Chuck Norris and lives

Every time Chuck Norris looks into a mirror it breaks. Even glass is not stupid enough to get between Chuck Norris and Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris can strangle you with a cordless phone.

Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life.

Chuck Norris died 20 years ago, Death just hasn't built up the courage to tell him yet.

Brett Farve can throw a football 50 yds. Chuck Norris can throw Brett Farve even farther.

Some magicans can walk on water, Chuck Norris...
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posted by karpach_14
A single drop of sweat from Chuck Norris was found to quench the thirst of an entire african village for 23 straight days. Subsequently, an olympic athlete from that village was disqualified from his event for testing positive for performance enhancing drugs.

Chuck Norris can read lady Gaga's poker face.

Chuck Norris says the alphabet faster backwards then you can say it fowards.

When Chuck Norris goes to sleep, he doesn't dream he lives it.

In an alternate universe, Chuck Norris is just a myth. However, he pwns people there anyways.

When Chuck Norris drinks beer, the cerveja gets drunk.

Ninjas want...
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posted by d3ath_3at3r
In a pub teste the other dia I lost por one point. The pergunta was, "where do women mostly have curly hair?" Apparently, it's Africa.


One of the other perguntas was to name two things commonly found in cells.
It appears that Nigerians and Jamaicans is not the correct answer.


I've heard that maçã, apple has scrapped their plans for the new children's iPod, after realizing that iTouch Kids is not a good product name.


There's a new Muslim clothing comprar that opened in Toronto but I've been banned from it, after asking to look at some bombardeiro jackets.


You can say lots of bad things about pedophiles,...
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posted by RulerL0rd
Ghetto Names

Mostly popular with the poorer sections of the communities in the United States, ghetto names are becoming mais common.
These are some ghetto names sent to us por our readers:

Aalissah , Aarionda , AbbyYoYo , Abcd , Abrianna , Adaizala , Aereana , Ajavalon , Akeebu , Akwante , Alamarion , Alashawndre , Alashema , Alezeisha , Aliciandra , Alveonta , Amabufu , Amanisha , Ambrisha , Amereazanisha , Amiracle , Amonteosha , Ananchalant , Anfernee , Angenique , Annestonisha , Antonyishia , Antwanae , Antwanique , Antwonisha , Anukware , Aquamaquisha , Aquanasia , Aquanetta , Aquaniqua ,...
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Found this on Google. Hope it makes ya laugh.

1. Set all the alarm clocks to go off in 10-minute intervals

2. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, “Code 3 in housewares,…”and see what happens.

3. Go to the Service escrivaninha, mesa and ask to put a bag of M&M’s on lay away.

4. Find one of the workers who is making a pyramid or a display of something and as soon as they are finished with it, ask for the thing that’s on the bottom and have a panic attack until they give it to you.

5. Get on the loud speaker and declare a “Going Out of Business Sale, All Items 99% Off”

6....
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added by youknowit101
Source: trollposts@tumblr
added by KateKicksAss
added by Rodz
Source: google.com
added by ladolcevita
Source: Hmmm... Um,well EW.com, Everglow, Mugglenet, me!, forgot the last
previously on the Evil Teddy Bear: Jenni Peter and Tina were thinking of a way to find out who was trying to wreck their house then all of a sudden there was a noise and it was coming from Tina's room. Tina got mad cause she doesnt let ANYONE besides Peter and Jenni and herself in her room. she was about to stomp over to her room but Jenni stepped in front of her and tried to calm Tina down Peter helped out with trying to calm Tina down as well. Tina sighed calming down after that they all went to Tina's room when they opened the door they were all shocked Tina's cd's were all broken her paintings...
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