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Q: What do elves learn in school?

A: The Elf-abet!

Q: What's the most popular wine at Christmas?
A: "I don't like sprouts" !

Q: If athletes get athletes foot, what do astronauts get?
A: Missletoe!

Q: What do you get when you cruz a snowman with a vampire?
A: Frostbite.

Q: Why was Santa's little helper depressed?
A: Because he had low elf esteem.

Q: Why does Santa have 3 gardens?
A: So he can ho-ho-ho.

Q: Where do polar bears vote?
A: The North Poll.

Q: What do you get when you cruz an archer with a gift-wrapper?
A: Ribbon hood.

Q: Why do birds fly south for the winter ?
A: Because it's to far to...

"Friends forever‚" you promised.
"Together till the end."
We did everything with each other.
You were my best friend.

When I was sad‚ you were por my side.
When I was scared‚ you felt my fear.
You were my best support-
If I needed you‚ you were there.

You were the greatest friend‚
You always knew what to say:
You always made everthing seem better.
As long as we had each other‚
Everything would be okay.

But somewhere along the line‚
We slowly came apart.
I was here‚ you were there‚
It tore a hole in my heart.

Things were changing‚
Our cheerful música reversed its tune.
It was like having salt...

Wax the ceiling.
Loosen the lug nuts on your dad's new car.
Drop your cat from a high place, to see if it really does land on all four feet.
Repeat above until failure.
Rearrange political campaign signs.
Sharpen your teeth.
Play Houdini with one of your siblings.
Braid your cachorros hair.
Clean and polish your belly button.
Water your dog...see if he grows.
Wash a tree.
Knight yourself and some close friends.
Found the Jim Jones' School of Modern Bartending.
Flirt with an evergreen.
Scare Steven King.
Give your cat a mohawk.
Purr.
Mow your carpet.
Rake your carpet (to clean up the clippings.)...