Play with your food; to add effect, act like it's a special performance for the people at the seguinte table.
Turn around every thirty-seven segundos to the people at the seguinte mesa, tabela and ask them if your assento is too close, if you're talking too loud, etc.
Whenever you see someone getting up and leaving, bolt to their mesa, tabela and take the tip before the wait-person returns.
Eat REALLY loud; make disgusting noises; slurp EVERY time you take a sip of your drink.
Constantly re-adjust the positions of absolutely EVERYTHING at your table; seats, silverware, dishes, the mesa, tabela itself; and make sure to make...
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