aleatório Article: Facts about Chuck Norris

7

posted by x-menobsessed26

There used to be a rua named after Chuck Norris, but it was changed because nobody crosses Chuck Norris and lives

Every time Chuck Norris looks into a mirror it breaks. Even glass is not stupid enough to get between Chuck Norris and Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris can strangle you with a cordless phone.

Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life.

Chuck Norris died 20 years ago, Death just hasn't built up the courage to tell him yet.

Brett Farve can throw a football 50 yds. Chuck Norris can throw Brett Farve even farther.

Some magicans can walk on water, Chuck Norris can swim through land.

Chuck Norris runs until the Treadmill gets tired

Chuck Norris once urinated in a semi truck's gas tank as a joke....that truck is now known as Optimus Prime.

Chuck Norris doesn't flush the toilet, he scares the sh*t out of it

Chuck Norris can cut through a hot faca with butter

Chuck Norris and super-homem once fought each other on a bet. The loser had to start wearing his underwear on the outside of his pants.

Chuck Norris does not need Twitter...he is already following you.

Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

There is no 'Ctrl' button on Chuck Norris' computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.

Death once had a near-Chuck Norris experience

Chuck Norris put out a forest fire. using only gasoline

Chuck Norris can understand women.

They found Chuck's diary...It is now known as The Guiness Book of World Records.

Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.

The Universe is constantly expanding, in a futile attempt to escape from Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.

When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris once got bit por a rattle snake...After three days of pain and agony ...the rattle snake died

Chuck Norris will never have a coração attack. His coração isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him.

The original título for Alien vs. Predator was Alien and Predator vs Chuck Norris. The film was cancelled shortly after going into preproduction. No one would pay nine dollars to see a movie fourteen segundos long.

Chuck Norris once scared a baby. To this dia that baby is still screaming in fear......his name is Justin Bieber

Chuck Norris doesn't battle... he just allows you to lose

Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.

Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. Its decendants are known today as Giraffes.

most kids pee their name into snow... Chuck Norris pisses his in concreate...

Chuck Norris jumped off a building once. The ground didn't make it..

Chuck Norris was dropped twice as a baby. First on Hiroshima, then on Nagasaki.

When Chuck Norris wants a steak, cows volunteer. It's just easier that way.

Even atheists believe in Chuck Norris

Oxygen needs Chuck Norris to survive.

There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animais Chuck Norris allows to live

Chuck Norris uses a sundial at night

Chuck Norris made a Happy Meal cry

Chuck Norris can get blackjack with one card

Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

Chuck Norris can soco a cyclops between the eyes.

Growing up Chuck Norris raised 4 turtles, we now them now as the Ninja Turtles

Chuck Norris can light a fogo por rubbing two ice-cubes together.

Chuck Norris can set ants on fogo with a magnifying glass. At night.

The Black Eyed Peas used to be called "The Peas"... until they met Chuck Norris.

the dinossauros made Chuck Norris mad...once

Chuck Norris once roundhoused a planet so hard and so fast it burst into flames, today it is known as the sun

Windows 7 was Chuck Norris' idea

Curiosity didn't kill the cat..... Chuck Norris did.

When Chuck Norris was born he slapped the doctor to test his reflexes.

Chuck Norris can cook minuto arroz in 30 seconds

When Bruce Banner's angry he turn into the Hulk. When the Hulk's angry he turns into Chuck Norris

deathding, Tdinoahiscute4 and 5 others like this

15

Actual McDonalds Job Application

posted by Aimee147

NAME: Greg Bulmash

SEX: Not yet. Still waiting for the right person.

DESIRED POSITION: Company's President or Vice President. But seriously, whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first place.

DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a ano plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.

EDUCATION: Yes.

LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility.

SALARY: Less than I'm worth.

MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes.

REASON FOR LEAVING:...

1

topo, início 15 best looking animê dudes

posted by angelscry

(there is no order)

1.Allen walker (d grey man)
2.Gaara (naruto/shippuden
3.Hatsuharu sohma (fruits basket)
4.Deidara (naruto shippuden)
5.Senri shiki (vampire knight)
6.Tsubasa otori (beyblade/metal masters)
7.Toushiro hitsugaya (bleach the movie)
8.Neji hyuga (naruto/shippuden)
9.Mystel (beyblade g revolution)
10.zelgardis breywords (the slayers)
11.hikaru (ouran highschool host club)
12.china (hetalia) (i think?)
13.hanabusa (vampire knight)
14.takama ichijo (vampire knight)
15.zaku (naruto) (deceased aka dead)

1

aleatório jokes....(actually they r PJs)

posted by pollydbookworm

This pato walks into a convenience store and asks the clerk, "Do you have any grapes?" The clerk says no, and the pato leaves.

The seguinte day, the pato returns and asks, "Do you have any grapes?" The clerk again says no, and the pato leaves.

The dia after that, the pato walks in the store again and asks "Do you have any grapes?" The clerk screams at the duck, "You've come in here the past two days and asked if we had any grapes. I told you no every time that we don't have any grapes! I swear if you come back in here again, and ask for grapes, I'll nail your webbed feet to the floor!!"

The duck...

3

18 Reasons Why it Sucks to be the Akward Girl

posted by msfit39

1. Every dia at school is the same
2. You never know if your braids look digusting or not
3. You are so used to never talking that if somebody says something to you, never know how to react
4. You would like to think that people notice or even think about you but you are really just the big ugly quiet black girl nobody knows or cares about
5. You worry people will write nasty comments on your fanpop artigo that is obvioustly meant to vent your feeling out
6. On the weekend all you do is watch tv and sleep and play with your cat
7. When you only really have like 3 friends at school and 2 of them...

1

The show SpongeBob Squarepants linked to attention problems and learning.

posted by carsfan

The show SpongeBob linked to attention problems and learning

The show SpongeBob SquarePants is pointed por a study which indicates that the viewing for only nine minutos of the show may cause short-term attention problems and learning in children four years.

Such problems have been observed in a study of 60 randomly selected children to watch SpongeBob or Caillou, in which imagens change mais slowly, or to draw in nine minutes.

Immediately after this activity, children were tested for mental function. And those who watched SpongeBob scored lower than others.

Previous studies had already established...

4

The Evil Teddy Bear: This is starting to be a nightmare

posted by darktheheghog

previously on the Evil Teddy Bear: Jenni Peter and Tina were thinking of a way to find out who was trying to wreck their house then all of a sudden there was a noise and it was coming from Tina's room. Tina got mad cause she doesnt let ANYONE besides Peter and Jenni and herself in her room. she was about to stomp over to her room but Jenni stepped in front of her and tried to calm Tina down Peter helped out with trying to calm Tina down as well. Tina sighed calming down after that they all went to Tina's room when they opened the door they were all shocked Tina's cd's were all broken her paintings...

3

fun "rules" of life and a Cynic's guide to life

posted by Hinata-Snow

I'm putting two funny artigos together in one, hope you enjoy it!

Some fun rules
1. I can please only one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow isn't looking good either.
2. I amor deadlines. I especially like the whooshing sound they make as they go flying by.
3. Am I getting smart with you? How would you know?
4. I'd explain it to you, but your brain would explode.
5. Someday we'll look back on all this and plow into a parked car.
6. There are very few personal problems that cannot be solved through a suitable application of high explosives.
7. Tell me what you need, and I'll tell you...

1

The Evil Teddy Bear: Lets Solve The Mistery Gang

posted by darktheheghog

previously on the Evil Teddy Bear: Tina Unlocked the door to their house and they all walked inside then Peter put the Teddy urso on the self after that they all got hungery so Tina went to the shops to get some comida while Peter and Jenni were playing Uno they heard a crash in the cozinha and ran over there they got a big shock when they saw how messy the cozinha was when Tina got início she saw what the cozinha was like and she got a big shock herself then while they all were thinking of a plan to see who did this to their início the Teddy urso was hiding in the cozinha cupboard as it chuckled...

8

15 BEST Excuses for falling asleep at your escrivaninha, mesa

posted by iluvsmj

15) They told me at the blood bank that this might happen.

14) This is just a 15 minuto power nap like they raved about in the last
time-management course you sent me to.

13) Whew! Guess I left the topo, início off of the Liquid Paper.

12) I was meditating on the mission statement and envisioning a new paradigm.

11) This is one of the seven habits of highly effective people.

10) I was testing the keyboard for drool resistance.

9) I was doing a highly specific Yoga exercise to relieve work-related stress.
Are you discriminating against people who practice yoga?

8) I was doing a "Stress Level Elimination Exercise...

2

lilly's diary - my mother, the b**ch

posted by dxcfan101

dear diary, today was the worst - first a car ran over my lunch so i had to rob somebody's lunch money, segundo i got a F on my history paper, third mrs perrywinkle slaped me with her cinto, correia serosly this is the 21 centery your not aloud to slap teenagers with belts, and forth when i got início my history paper fell out of my bag and my mother picked it up and started leitura it so what did i do, i rushed upstairs into my room 1 segundo later i hear my mother scream off the topo, início of her lungs LILLY GET YOU BUT DOWN HERE...NOW!!!!!!!! god i said, so i go down. what is this she said uuummm my homework...

4

aleatório facts!!!!!!!!!!

posted by kinga10111

..... aleatório Facts .....

If you have 3 quarters, 4 dimes, and 4 pennies, you have $1.19. You also have the largest amount of money in coins without being able to make change for a dollar.
The numbers '172' can be found on the back of the U.S. $5 dollar bill in the bushes at the base of the lincoln Memorial.

President Kennedy was the fastest aleatório speaker in the world with upwards of 350 words per minute.

In the average lifetime, a person will walk the equivalent of 5 times around the equator.

Odontophobia is the fear of teeth.

The 57 on Heinz ketchup bottles represents the number of varieties...

9

36 Weird Facts That You PROBABLY Never Heard Of

posted by TotalDramaChick

1.Rubber bands last longer when refrigerated.

2.Peanuts are one of the ingredients of dynamite.

3.There are 293 ways to make change for a dollar.

4.The average person's left hand does 56% of the typing.

5.A tubarão is the only peixe that can blink with both eyes.

6.There are mais chickens than people in the world.

7.Two-thirds of the world's berinjela is grown in New Jersey.

8.The longest one-syllable word in the English language is "screeched."

9.On a Canadian two dollar bill, the flag flying over the Parliament building is an American flag.

10.All of the clocks in the movie "Pulp Fiction" are stuck on...

5

Barbara Streisand por pato Sauce Lyrics

posted by myareid17

Barbra Streisand

Woowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoow
oowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowo
owoowoowoowoowoo

Barbra Streisand

Woowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoow
oowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowo
owoowoowoowoowoo

Barbra Streisand

Woowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoow
oowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowo
owoowoowoowoowoo

Barbra Streisand

Woowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoow
oowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowo
owoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoo...

4

The Script to the episode Invader Zim:Nubs Of Doom

posted by invadercalliope

INT. A SHOPPING MALL WE'VE USED BEFORE - DAY.

The mall. Teenage girls bury their heads in piles of clothes and giggle. A Sale Sign goes up and they scream. Mothers drag kids por their heels. As the people pass by, they glance uncomfortably at something off-screen then hurry along. The children point, faces uncomprehending.

Pan over to find ZIM and gir in a dark corner, near a waste receptacle, dressed as clowns. ZIM just stares out evilly at the passing people. gir simply stares, holding balloons.

ZIM (to GIR)
Look at them, GIR. THEY think we are clowns. But we are not clowns.

GIR gasps in shock....

Kanon (2006) Ending Theme – Kaze no Tadoritsuku Basho

posted by invadercalliope

Ashimoto ni kaze hikari ga matta nichijou ni dake tsumotta bun no kiseki ga
Miagereba kumo tooku e no kiro osanai hi no jibun yori mo hayaku
Yukidoke o matte ita kodomo no you ni hashiru
Hikaru shizuku tobihaneteru
Asu no deai sae kizukazu ni iru kisetsu-tachi no naka de kagayaite iru yo

Sekaijuu ni wa donna omoi mo kanau hi ga kuru
Zutto tabi o shite yuku bokura ni chiisana sei-tachi maioriru

Deatta basho mo midori o nashite yuruyaka ni mo nagareru toki ni yudanete
Haruka ni aogu machinami no roji osanai hi no jibun ga mada kakeru
Ano yuuhodou kara kikoete kuru kigi no koe ya hibi no zawameki...

4

45 frases A La Melancholia

posted by cute20k

Okay, I don't really cry a lot but these frases are all a little sad. They're in no particular order.

1. "A million words wouldnt bring you back, I know because I tried. Neither would a million tears, I know because I've cried."

2. "When you're in amor and you get hurt, it's like a cut, it will heal with time but the scars will never fade"

3. "What happens when he's your prince charming, but you're not his cinderella?"

4. "The worst feeling in the world is giving all the amor you have and knowing it will never be returned"

5. "You probably won't remember me. I'm probably ancient history. I'm one...

3

11 fun\funny things to do at Walmart

posted by Lady10358

1. Pretend to fall down and wait till someone says "Are you OK?" Then say "I'M A MONSTER!!" And see what happens
2. Walk up to a complete stranger and say "Hey, I liked your video on youtube!"
3. If it's Dia das bruxas go to the costume section and grab a Dia das bruxas bag and go up to a aleatório person and say "Trick or treat!"
3. Go to a crowded aisle and if you know it sing the song "Party like a rock star"
4. Follow a customer and put in items in hisher carrinho and say "Ready for checkout!"
5. When you see a old guy then point and say "Its Shakira!!"
6. Go up to an old man and say "MOMMY!! I HAVEN'T...

6

aleatório but true facts

posted by spunkyonyx

oi guys, found some interesting and strange facts, some are just facts I have known a long time ago(school, wandering around websites), others are ones that I have found, I apply the fonte if available. Any others you may want to add up feel free to do so. Enjoy!

1) Coca-cola was once green.
It was green because it was accidentally carbonated when a clerk squirted syrup into the wrong glass.

2)Barbie doll measurements if she were life size: 39-23-33. Wow... she's cut from the team.

3)Intelligent people have mais zinc and copper in their hair. *Checks... Woot!

4)You blink about 84 million times...

7

Funny frases

posted by KateKicksAss

Credit: I found these online, and they made me smile. As you can see, I clearly didn’t make them up. Thought of course, If I had, I wouldn’t be claiming they were someone elses…Never mind..

Our bombs are smarter than the average high school student. At least they can find Kuwait.
-A. Whitney Brown

When they asked George Washington for his ID, he just took out a quarter.
- Stephen Wright.

Did you ever walk in a room and forget why you walked in? I think that’s how cachorros spend their lives.
–Sue Murphy

I don’t kill flies but I like to mess with their minds. I hold them above globes. They freak...

8

10 Ways To Annoy Edward Cullen

posted by TVD_rocks

10. Sing “Bad Touch” por the Bloodhound Gang in your head whenever he is near.

9.Ask him if he thinks Robert Pattinson is hot. When he says no, tell him he has low self esteem issues

8. Tell him the relationship he is having with Bella is practically paedophilia and he could be sent to jail for it.

7.End every argument with “Bite me, Edward.”

6. Whenever he complains or argues, reply with “What are you gonna do Edward? Go to Italy?”

5.Ask him to be a gangsta with you for Halloween

4. Show him the twilight trailer. Ask him if he thinks that he looks like a pedophile or if it's just you.

3. Tell him his hair isn’t bronze, it’s ginger, and he should stop denying himself – he’s a ranga.

2. Whenever he leaves a room or says goodbye, get down on your knees and beg him not to go, not again.

1. Take his silver cell phone and change the ringtone to “Like a Virgin” por Madonna.