aleatório Club
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This is a funny story I came up with just now, so I hope you all enjoy it. ^_^

"My most aleatório adventure ever began on a distant island far, far away from anywhere. The island was silent, no one appeared to live on the island. It was all quite until a loud stomp was heard from a distance. As I pulled my face up from the beachy sand, I began shaking with fear, not even wanting to know who or what made that noise.

With a light of speed, I raced my way out from the de praia, praia and into the dense jungle. I was hoping to find help, but couldn't find anyone. Just then however, someone grabbed me very quickly and took me to the árvore tops. The one who captured me was a young, jungle warrior woman. She saved me because she has never seen anyone like me before and was suprised to see a creature like myself. After some brief touching on my arms, face, and legs, I began getting confused as to why this woman acted so strange towards me. It was then she began to speak. She explained to me that not many vistors visit the island from time to time. Wondering how come, she soon explained that a vicous creature has been eating all of the visitors that come to the island. This story began giving me goosebumps as such I didn't know what else to do. How excatly was I going to protect myself from the creature? Better yet, how do I get back home?

The woman suddenly sushed me with kindness and told me to stay right in the tree. I had no idea why she ordered me to stay nor did I undertsand why I couldn't come along with her. As I huddled myself into a comfortable section of the tree, I saw the woman balanço down to the ground with the use of the vines and ran into the thicket. I still had no idea why I had to hang around in this árvore por myself nor could I understand why the woman left me. As I always take full responseability for my actions, I did not mover or anything. Later that evening, the sun began setting down and I was growing very weak. I was hungry, thirsty, and even tired. After many minutos have past, I decided to take a quick nap before the jungle woman came back again. But something tells me that this may be the last few segundos of my life...or maybe to my death..."
posted by McDreamyluva
Here's the famous 'Best Divorce Letter' por Dan to Connie, pretty hilarious, definitely a must read! xD



Dear Connie,

I know the counselor said we shouldn't contact each other during our "cooling off" period, but I couldn't wait anymore.

The dia you left, I swore I'd never talk to you again but that was just the wounded little boy in me talking. Still, I never wanted to be the first on to make contact. In my fantasies, it was always you who would come crawling back to me. I guess my pride needed that. But now I see that my pride’s cost me a lot of things. I'm tired of pretending I don't miss you....
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Source: google
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Source: Smarthphowned.com
added by Mallory101
As a proud visitor of forty-four of the fifty United States, I am a bit of a self-taught expert in amusing oneself on long rides in motor vehicles. Whether you are the driver, riding shotgun, or sitting in the back, there is a plethora of ways to make said drive go por much faster.
One way to take a long, boring drive across the never changing flatness of Nebraska or Oklahoma, and mold it into an enjoyable spending of one’s time is to engage in a physical fight with a sibling. This works best when you are driving and the sibling is in the back seat. It does not matter if the said sibling is...
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added by liridonarama96
added by gkazeuishida
posted by i_luv_angst
65 above zero:
Floridians turn on the heat.
People in Wisconsin plant gardens.

60 above zero:
Californians shiver uncontrollably.
People in Wisconsin sunbathe.

50 above zero:
Italian & English cars won't start.
People in Wisconsin drive with the windows down.

40 above zero:
Georgians don coats, thermal underwear, gloves, wool hats.
People in Wisconsin throw on a flannel shirt.

35 above zero:
New York landlords finally turn up the heat.
People in Wisconsin have the last cookout before it gets cold.

20 above Zero
People in Miami all die.
Wisconsinites close the windows.

Zero:
Californians fly away to Mexico...
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added by PoddoChan
Source: F0rg0tz :P