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posted by karpach_14
December 14, 2003


Dearest Dave,

I went to the door today, and the postman delivered a perdiz in a pera, pear tree. This was a delightful gift! I couldn't have been mais surprised or pleased darling!

With truly the deepest love,
Agnes

December 15, 2003

Dearest Dave,

Today the postman brought me yet another of your sweet gifts. The two turtule doves that arrived today are adorable, and I'm delighted por your thoughtful and generous ways.

With all of my love,
Your Agnes

December 16, 2003

Dearest Dave,

You've truly been too kind! I must protest; I don't deserve such generosity. The thought of getting three French hens amazes me. Yet, I am not surprised--what mais should I expect from such a nice person.

Love,
Agnes

December 17, 2003

Dear Dave,

Four calling birds arrived in the mail today. They are truly nice but don't you think that enough is enough? You are being too romantic.

Affectionately,
Agnes

December 18, 2003

Dearest darling Dave,

It was a surprise to get five golden rings! I now have one for every finger. You truly are impossible darling, yet oh how I amor it! Quite frankly, all of those squarking birds from the anterior days were starting to get on my nerves. Yet, you managed to come through with a beautiful valuable gift!

All my love,
Agnes

December 19, 2003

Dear Dave,

When I opened my door, there were actually six geese a-laying on my front steps. So you're back to the birds again, huh? Those geese are dear, but where will I keep them? The neighbors are complaining, and I am unable to sleep with all the racket. Please stop dear.

Cordially,
Agnes

December 20, 2003

Dave,

What is with you and those stupid birds!? Seven swans a-swimming!! What kind of sick joke is this!!?? There are bird droppings everywhere! They never shut up, and I don't get any sleep!!! I'm a nervous wreck! It's not funny you weirdo, so stop with the birds.

Sincerely,
Agnes

December 21, 2003

O.K. wise guy,

The birds were bad enough. Now what do you expect me to do with eight maids a-milking? If that's not bad enough, they had to bring their cows!! The front lawn was completely ruined por them, and I can't mover in my own house! Just lay off me or you'll be sorry!

Agnes

December 22, 2003

oi loser,

What are you? You must be some kind of sadist!! Now there are nine pipers playing, and they certainly do play! They haven't stopped chasing those maids since they got here! The cows are getting upset, and they're stepping all over those screeching birds. The neighbors are getting up a petition to evict me, and I'm going out of my mind!

You'll get yours!
Agnes

December 23, 2003

You rotten scum!!!

There are now ten ladies dancing! There is only one problem with that! They're dancing twenty-four hours a dia all around me with the pipers upsetting the cows and the maids. The cows can't sleep, and they are going to the bathroom everywhere! The building commissioner has subpoenaed me to give cause as to why the house shouldn't be condemned! I can't even think of a reason! You creep! I'm sicking the police on you!

One who means it!

December 24, 2003

Listen you evil, sadistic, maniac!

What's with the eleven lords-a-leaping?!? They are leaping across the rooms breaking everything and even injuring some of the maids! The place smells, is an absolute mad house, and is about to be condemned! At least the birds are quiet; they were trampled to death por the cows. I hope you are satisfied--you rotten vicious worthless piece of garbage!

Your sworn enemy,
Agnes

December 25, 2003

The Law Offices of
Badger, Rees, and Yorker
20 Knave Street
Chicago, Illinois

Dear sir,

This is to acknowledge your latest gift of twelve fiddlers-fiddling which you have seen fit to inflict on our client, one Agnes Mcholstein. The destruction of course was total. If you attempt to reach Ms. Mcholstein at Happy Daze Sanatarium, the attendants have instructions to shoot you on site.

Please direct all correspondence to this office in the future. With this letter, please find attached a warrant for your arrest.

Cordially,
Badger, Rees, and Yorker
posted by justinfangrrl
Ya' know how everybody thinks fairytales and magic aren't real? Well, I beleive in them!
I'm not talking about santa clause, tooth fairy and easter bunny kinda stuff... I mean like ghosts, unicórnios and things of that sort.

Everybody in my family has seen SOMETHING. and don't call me crazy. =(

Why is it so inconceivable that these things can't exist? Why is it so hard to believe that a big hairy man walks around in the woods? It could be like a woodland ape!

What's wrong with thinking unicórnios are real???! Who said they have to have magical powers? It's pretty much just a beautiful horse...
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Okay so my twin sister Sassikassi is annoying and this is what she does to me and other people!
*She throws comida at me
*She plays baseball with my sandwiches
*She asks stupid perguntas (ex: What do biblioteca cards do? btw she does not have any medical condition for that I think she trys to embarass me)
*She trys to embarass me
*She tells my secrets to everyone
*She beats me up
*Shes a crybaby I cant remember a dia when she hasnt burst into tears
*She gets me into trouble
*She yells at me for no reason
*Basicly she is not who you think she is
posted by MOLLYMAYJR
ok so i went to a football game last friday and watched the cheerleaders then walked off! but what i did see was that well they all looked really pretty but never judge a book por its cover so i am just gonna say it! they all looked stuckup! but arent they all?? my cousin whose a 10th grader and says the cheerleaders at her school r stuck up snotss!!! and so r the ones at mine! so if u feel my pain about cheerleaders or u r 1 and there r stuck up snobs on ur squad then id amor to hear ur thoughts!!
Your Mother also has her sentence she says and repeats it all the time?

Let us share ...

1. We don't say "Yuck."
2. I'm tired of repeating the same thing a hundred times.
3. I'm not your maid.
4. It's not over soon this comedy?
5. Stop sniffing blow your nose.
6. I have not heard the magic word.
7. You don't say "I do not like" you have not even tasted.
8. What we say to Mom?
9. File in your room!
10. Hurry up, you'll be late!
11. Don't wad of bread.
12. What are these grades?
13. Eat: it's full of vitamins.
14. But leave them alone!
15. Because it's like that, that's all.
16. Go on, shoo!
17. Pee, teeth and...
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posted by ThatDarnHippo
When I went to see Toy Story 3 and Despicable Me, the previews were the same. And all the filmes that the previews were advertising looked terrible. Well, Tangled looks OK, and Megamind seems worth it, but Smurf and Kitty Galore look like an insult to my intelligence. Maybe I'm just taking these too seriously, but still. Previews are supposed to make their filmes look GOOD.

The trailer that really got to me was Alpha and Omega. If you haven't seen it, look it up on Youtube. I know you shouldn't judge a movie por it's, uh, trailer, but this seems like it's going to be freakin' horrible.
Wayyy...
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posted by jessicamc26
Two guys were picked up por the cops for smoking dope and appeared in court before the judge.

The judge said, "You seem like nice young men, and I'd like to give you a segundo chance rather than jail time. I want you to go out this weekend and try to show others the evils of drug use and pursuade them to give up drugs forever. I'll see you back in court Monday."


Monday, the two guys were in court, and the judge said to the first one,

"How did you do over the weekend?"

"Well, your honor, I persuaded 17 people to give up drugs forever."

"17 people? That's wonderful. What did you tell them?"

"I...
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posted by MileySelena982
Never mind the haters. All they do is break you down. Build yourself up and ignore them. Don't they look so small from up here?

When they make a nasty comment, pretend they aren't there. They'll never get to you that way. When they kick and scream at other peoples hating comments about them, don't they look silly?

When they ask why you like what you do, ask them why they like what they like. "How's it feel, huh?"

Hater will say many things, some the probably don't mean. But, if someone does hate, ask them, "Why? Why do you do it? Do you have nothing else to do with your life?" Just ignore them, they hate that. All the want is attention. And whatever you do, don't give it to them.

-JC
Pieyaiyai pieyaiyai pieyaiyai eat them till u cry. [wait 4 about 16 seconds, then do verse 1] The empty pie tins, were 1st known as frisbees, spinning, spinning, they look so dizzy. The tins looks shiny, it reflects the sun, yes bakerys r our number 1! [chorus] Pie ay ay, im a birdie who likes pies, throw little pecks straight down into peoples eyes. Pie ay ay ay, im a birdie who likes pies, keep throwing them at the cogs until they die. [wait about 16 mais seconds, then start the 2nd verse] Now they have bakeries, so many snacks 2 taste. No, we shouldnt let them go 2 waste. From brownies to cakes, and biscoitos, cookies and pie, colorful, fruitful, yummy snacks oh my! [repeat chorus twice] Pieyaiyai pieyaiyai pieyaiyai eat them till u die. [wait 4 about 30 seconds, then repeat verse 1, after that u repeat the chorus 2 mor times, then wait 4 about 16 mor seconds] Pie ay ay ay, im a birdie who likes pies, eat all the treats, till ur so full u could cry. The end, hope u liked it(and san it rite).
Mr.Mosby: I'm so glad zach is gone for my whole life!
Zach: Hi Mr.Mosby!
Mr.Mosby: *screams* what are you fdoing here!
Cody: he's getting held back!
Mr.Moasby: and you?
Cody: I'm just droping him off.
Mr.Mosby: Oh great!
Brianna: Rich girls coming through!
Mr.Mosby: Oh you must be the hetrick sisters!
Rochelle: yeah! now go find our maid!
Mr.Mosby: you don't have a maid.
Brianna: Then go get us one!
Mr.Mosby: you can't have a maid!
Rochelle: why not?
Zach: *wripers in Mr.Mosby's ear* Say that there too prety to have one.
Mr.Mosby: Your too prety to have one.
Brianna: oH well, that's great! Let's go Rochelle!...
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posted by shutyourface
The blode curdurling sound of a monkey killing a innersent banana even the thought makes me scream.
i am the leader of a very special groupe H.B.S
that stands for help bananas society
every minite a banana is being tortured but
there is someone helping that someone is me
bobby flobby hobbie jo thats my name but you can call me bobby jo


i shall return with a mais stories of the help bananas society


dum de de de dum dum dum de dum


BANANAS!
(thats the tune of are clubes song)

banana banana ovelha, ovelhas are there friends
BANANAS
posted by jblovesme4ever
one dia that ugly little rabbit waz walkin down the buunyy trail when suddenly a wich came out of now where she had the blackest skin peter asked wats ur name she replied with nastynes in her voice mrs white but of course that stupid bunny said hello there mrs white this made the wich angery so she took peter back to her cottege peter thought phh well were are just goin on our first encontro, data ohh how wrong waz he then wich finaally got him início AND TREW HIM IN THE CLOSET AND SILLY BUNNY DECIDED TO GO início AND SO WHEN HE LEFT THE CLOSEST A SWARM OF BEES CHASED HIM INTO THE WICHES ROOM AND HE WOKE HER UP ANS SHE SAID WHAT WICH MADE BUNNY CRI SO THIS MADE THE WICH HUNGERY SO SHE SAID COM HERE PLZ AND WHEN SHE DID WELL LETS JUST SAY BYEBYE BYEBYE BYE BYE PETER COTTEN TAIL HELLO BUNNYZSOUP

THIS STORY IS TO STOP THE ABUSES OF BUNNYZ EVERYWHERE SO PLZ DONATE TO PLACES







YES I NO STUIPED I GOT BOREED
posted by dinglebell14
I was like totally like walking like down the like, cotton doces road like 45 like segundos atrás and I like saw a hot like dog and totally yelled, "Like you like skinny little like pot head like monkey." And then I like totally like kicked a puppy. Then I like went início and like told my brother I like think he like is a like talking wierner with like talking wierner powers that like let him like mow the lawn.
That was like a like better like dia in the like life of a like polar bear.
~dinglebell14
P.S. ~ Don't you wanna mix cotton doces and popscicles!
As I weaved through the crowded hallway, I focussed on the rhythm of my footsteps. I was lost. It was as if I was a new student or something. Now that Annabella was gone, the hallway made me dizzy with fear. I stood in this hallway and whined, begging for her not to leave. This is where I shared the last hug I will ever share with Annabella. When you're with your best friend, nothing matters. When you know you'll never see her again, not even a faint light of happiness appears at the end of the freight tunnel.
I had a hard life. We all do. I lived in a small mountain town in North Carolina...
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posted by Puppetmaster111
oi guys! My friends Sydney is on fanpop now! She is on Lady gaga site and Skillet site! I am so far her only fan, so if you guys want to be a fã of bubblegirl2 then go to the two clubes ubove there! Plez check out her profile! She is realy nice and cool and she is a christian, and realy cute! No I'm not a lesbian, but she told me to say that! She will be happy to cadastrar-se you guys with your fans! So... pppplllllleeeeeezzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzeee!!!!!!
posted by Diblover111
 This picture is also done por ak-47
This picture is also done by ak-47
Please note: Everything before the dotted line thing is not done por me, it is done por
ak-47. Just a couple differences in our writing: 1 They did theirs in 3rd person, I’m doing mine in 1st, point of view Dib. 2, They mention Dib is in pajamas, in mine Dib is in his normal clothes. Oh, and this story will continue. This is just the first part. Ok, here it is…

Dib stumbled out from the door, coughing and wheezing. He took a few steps progressivo, para a frente before turning his eyes, red rimmed with smoke and exhaustion towards his burning house.
"Dad! Gaz!"
With a burst of adrenaline, he sped back towards...
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posted by I_love_Mikey
I'm here to tell you that I amor you.
I'm here to hold your hand.
You're here to tell me that you hate me.
You take my hand and throw it back.

I'm here to tell you that I'm yours forever.
You're here to say, no, and never.
I'm here to explain that you're the best.
You're here to tell me you could care less.

I'm here to hug you when you're sad.
You're here to tell me my hugs are bad.
I'm here to tell you how smart you are.
You're here to say smart I'm far from.

I'm here to tell you that I amor you.
I'm here to hold your hand.
You're here to tell me that you hate me.
You take my hand and throw it back.

I'm here...
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posted by I_love_Mikey
Before you read this, note that this is not in anyway encouraging the abuse of illegal, or even legal substances. This is simply stating that it will take you down a dark road - one that once you start, you can't go back. You'll be falling through quicksand, without arms, and no one's going to pull you out.

I am lost.
An impossible path I'd sought.
But only treachery it brought.
And pre-decided fights I had fought -
All of which I, unfortunately, lost.

Loved, I am, and also feared.
Silence blares, it rings out clear.
Yet, we stay together, huddled near.
The silence is still all I can hear.

Lies persist...
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posted by candyangel
1. Chickens say jerk jerk.

2. Cows say moop moop meep.

3. Bunnies say chirp chirp.

4. Lobsters say clurp clurp clurp.

5. Chickens say burgack burgack.

6. dragões say shlurp shlurp.

7. Snakes say slither tither slither tither.

8. Elephants say near near fear near.

9. Moose say poooo poooo low.

10. Bears say guro guro guro.

11. Alligators say pow pow bow pow.

12. peixe say blub blub blub.

13. unicórnios say ashshnifafurfur.

14. Monkeys say quack quack quack brack.

15. Frogs say rebite rebite.
posted by itachifan1
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posted by CullenProperty
I'm a little pawn still in your game
And you ignore my advances
I turn my head and I look away
But I can't control my eyes are on you

Oh, you're on the run and I'm chasing you
Feels like war with all your glances
I'm just a boy without a clue
And I can't control following you

But it's alright, alright with me
it's alright, alright with me
it's alright, alright with me
it's alright, alright with me

I know you better than you know
You can fight but it's not over
I say to stop but you start to go
I guess that means it's L-O-V-E

I say to look but you turn away
I say we put our best foot forward
Will you believe,...
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