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posted by ilovepenguins
1) If amor is blind, then why is there lingerie?
2) Why are they called "apartments" if they are all connected?
3) Should you believe a chronic liar if he admits that he is a chronic liar?
4) Did Adam and Eve have bellybuttons?
5) Why is it that cachorros amor to hang their head out of the car window, but will get mad at you if you blow in their face?
6) If all the world is a stage, where is the audience?
7) If a árvore falls in the forest and nobody is there to hear it, does it still make a sound?
8) If pro is the opposite of con, then wouldn't congress be the opposite of progress?
9) If the pentágono were run por women, would missiles be shaped differently?
10) How do you plan a surprise birthday party for a psychic?
11) If your assento can become a floatation device, why can't the airplane become a boat?
12) Isn't a "free gift" redundant?
13) Why do people say it's a nice dia in summer but complain it's way too hot?
13) If a Smurf is choking what color does he turn?
14) Many builders refuse to have a 13th floor. Why aren't book publishers afraid to have a Chapter 11?
15) Why do we park on driveways and drive on parkways?
16) Why is a completed building still called a "building" since it's already built?
17) Why sterilize the equipment used to administer a lethal injection?
18) How can there be self-help groups?
19) What was the best thing before they invented sliced bread?
20) Why is that ovelha, ovelhas don't shrink when it rains?
21) If a 24 hora convenience store is open 24 hours per day, 365 days per year, why are there locks on the doors?
22) Why does the term "wind up" mean both start and end?
23) If the word for mais than one ganso is geese, then why aren't groups of moose called meese?
24) Did you know that Evian spelled backwards is naïve?
25) If oliva, verde-oliva oil comes from smashed olives, how do they make baby oil?
26) If it is true that practice makes perfect, and also true that nobody is perfect, why bother practicing?
27) Are vegetarians allowed to eat animal crackers?
28) How do you know if azedar, azedo cream has expired?
29) Why are there no Preparations A-G?
30) Do caskets come with a lifetime warranty?
31) Why are they called marbles if they are made from glass?
32) Ever notice that people who talk to God are saying prayers, but those that God talks to are crazy?
33) Why do people insist on stating things that "go without saying"?
34) Does the military have any misguided missiles?
35) Are all shifts at the cemetery considered graveyard shifts?
36) Do modern dia witches run spell check before they cast their spells?
37) Do sereias wear algebras?
38) How can there be civil war?
39) Do astronauts with sweaty feet get "missile toe"?
40) If people have nightmares, what do cavalos call their scary dreams?
41) Do you get to keep the time you save?
42) If time heals all wounds, then explain belly buttons.
43) Why do bars have parking lots if it is illegal to drink and drive?
44) How do they treat people who become addicted to therapy?
45) Why do they call it "rush hour" when the traffic is so slow?
46) If it is illegal to shoot them, why do they call it "tourist season"?
47) Why aren't moustaches called "mouthbrows"?
48) Why does the sun make our hair light and our skin dark?
49) Why does minuto arroz have to cook for 15 minutes?
50) Why aren't wiseguy and wiseman the same thing?
51) How do you slam revolving doors?
52) If you put comida colouring in a potato seed will the potato grow purple?
53) If an laranja is laranja and called an orange, why is a bannana yellow and not called a yellow?
posted by Gretute2772
1.Most futebol players run 7 miles in a game.
2.The only 2 animais that can see behind itself without turning its head are the rabbit and the parrot.
3.Whip makes a cracking sound because its tip moves faster than the speed of sound.
4.It cost 7 million dollars to build the titanic and 200 million to make a film about it.
5.When hippos are upset, their sweat turns red.
6.Every time you sneeze some of your brain cells die.
7.Your left lung is smaller than your right lung to make room for your heart.
8.Laughing lowers levels of stress hormones and strengthens the immune system. Six-year-olds laugh an...
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posted by CoaxochYJ
My suicide note that I threw away cuz of my awesome friends and life I wanted to keep.

To the friends, I call my family,

By the time you read this letter, I will be only a faded memory.

A corpse on the cold bathroom floor.

It is too late for me now, and I know it.

Even as I write this letter I can feel the life draining out of me.

But I feel it, so that's something, right?

I have been dead for a while now, though you may not have noticed.

I died the night I couldn't amor you, my love.

I loved you with everything.

My heart, my body and soul.

I am sorry I wasn't good enough for you.

At least you're happy....
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I just wanna say that I didn't wright this, I just reposted it. so I take on credit AT ALL

1. Take someone's shopping carrinho and switch the items with stuff from the person seguinte to them's cart
2. Walk up to complete strangers and say, "Hi! I haven't seen you in so long!..." etc. See if they play along to avoid embarrassment
3. Smash the person in front of you on the head with a ham
4. Go up to some old geezer & say "Grandpa!!! You're ALIVE!!! It's a MIRACLE!!! etc."
5. Take something from someone else's cart, when they say "hey, that's mine! " call the security and say that the other ... person...
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added by BlondLionEzel
Source: google
These are my topo, início 15 LEAST favorito celebrities and just like with my topo, início 15 favorito celebrities list I'm only basing this off who they are as a person, but I will talk about their talent as well. I will also tell you how attractive I think these people are because there are very few on here I find ugly and some I find very attractive, I'm just going to mention it just to show that I'm not biased like some people. This one person who did a list like this pretty much just said they were all ugly and even compared them to animals. Anyway, this is my list and please keep in mind this is just my...
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added by WolfHeart23
Source: internet
added by fatoshleo
Source: @fatoshleo
added by Bananaaddict
posted by BellaCullen96
Accuse people of "glue sniffing addictions" in public.
Add blank entries to a list, to make it look like it's longer.
Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you "like it that way."
After visiting the local donut shop, sit on the floor cross-legged and insist in a childish voice that you haven't received enough chocolate sprinkles.
Announce when you're going to the bathroom.
Answer every pergunta with another question. As soon as one of you says a statement instead of a question, shout "I win!".
Any time a member of the opposite sex tries to talk to...
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Okay so here's Part 2 :)

21.
Name: Keir O'Donnell (Actor)
From: Paul Blart: Mall Cop
Character: Veck
Attraction: Just everything - he's very beautiful



22.
Name: Tom Chambers (Actor)
From: Waterloo Road
Character: Max Tyler
Attraction: His lovely eyes

link

23.
Name: Jack escrivaninha, davenport (Actor)
From: Pirates Of The Caribbean 1-3
Character: James Norrington
Attraction: His smile and actually just him in general - he's like a prince lol



24.
Name: Jonas Armstrong (Actor)
From: Robin Hood
Character: Robin Hood
Attraction: His cheeky smile and I like his accent too



25.
Name: Ed Westwick (Actor)
From:...
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posted by d3ath_3at3r
In a pub teste the other dia I lost por one point. The pergunta was, "where do women mostly have curly hair?" Apparently, it's Africa.


One of the other perguntas was to name two things commonly found in cells.
It appears that Nigerians and Jamaicans is not the correct answer.


I've heard that maçã, apple has scrapped their plans for the new children's iPod, after realizing that iTouch Kids is not a good product name.


There's a new Muslim clothing comprar that opened in Toronto but I've been banned from it, after asking to look at some bombardeiro jackets.


You can say lots of bad things about pedophiles,...
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1.    “I came all the way to school before I realized I still had my pyjamas on, and had to go início and change”

2.    “When I got here my teacher wasn’t in the classroom so I went out looking for him/her”

3.    “I was abducted por aliens for experimental purposes. I have been gone for 50 years, but fortunately in Earth time it was only (insert how late you are here)”

4.    “I invented a time machine that took me progressivo, para a frente to my exam results. I saw that I got straight A’s, so I thought I might as well...
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added by Blaze1213IsBack
added by suck_toad
fanpop doesn't like my long description. Read the descrição here: link
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added by ace2000
Source: Somebody Else.
 Jonica
Jonica
I've been seeing a lot of these artigos lately so I kind of wanted to cadastrar-se the party. Off of the topo, início of my head--and this is liable to change--these are my topo, início 10 most attractive men and women.
I'm only able to add 20 imagens so there will be one big image for most of the guys.

Women

Jonica

Sonya Scarlet



Amber



Alissa White-Gluz


Cadaveria



10. Mally



I really just adore Mally's hair. I always did like shorter hair on women. She's so uniquely beautiful. Her eyes, her facial structure, she's just a very beautiful woman. I also amor her piercings.

9. Minzy



I suppose I...
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posted by ShadowFan100
There has been thoughts on my mind a lot these last few days and I think its time I talk about them.

But before I go on, let me just say that I am NOT trying to make people angry or start a "war" on the 'net, I'm just gonna say how I honestly feel about all this.

When I go on the 'net, I discover tons of "religious wars" going back and forth over who's right or wrong about what people believe and the way they think.

To me, I choice to be in the neutral spot when it comes to things like this. Why? Because humans have become "one-sided" and are getting worse. Only focusing on one side causes fights...
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posted by hatelarxene
Since Shake it Up has ended (thank goodness), I've decided to write a review on it. This show sucks. Big time.

link
Yeah... People of that moronic show expect me to call THAT music? That whole song or whatever the hell that was was nothing but auto-tune & editing!

They are awful actors, shitty singers (they don't even sing), and the characters are complete Mary-Sues! As for their dancing... please! All they do in that show is mover around & look like a bunch of monkeys. I've watched plenty of solid dancing movies, & let me tell you that these dancers are horrible, and no way in hell...
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added by madforstuff
just having fun!
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