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posted by chowjoyi
41 ways to annoy your parents



1. Follow them everywhere.

2. When they say your name, moo loudly like a cow.

3. If you have a dog, follow the dog around on all-fours and say "Bark." over and over again really loudly.

4. Talk to a pen constantly.

5. When your friends come over, pretend to be talking in code and have your friend say 'Your-a pa smells-a like a woman-a." If they crack the code, play stupid.

6. Have a dozen of imaginary friends that you ask their opinion of everything.

7. After you have your bath, embrulho, envoltório a bath towel around you and then walk outside of the bathroom. When your parents ask you what you're doing, say "Wearing clothes is against my religion."

8. Run into walls.

9. Cover yourself with a white blanket and try to walk around the house without tripping or running into something. Look at the ground and whenever you see your parents' feet, yell "BOO!"

10. Randomly pluck someone's hair out and scream, "DNA!!!!!!!!" as loud as you can.

11. Every 30 seconds, yell "I gotta go to the bathroom!!!" then stay in the bathroom for an hora and a half, grunting your ABC's.

12. In the grocery store, try to stick as many melons down your pants as possible then start dancing.

13. Stick cherries on your nose and start dancing around like a clown.

14. Flush the toilet while they're in the shower.

15. Wear a sticker that says "I'm a retard!"

16. Eat your hair. (I've tried it. It works.)

17. When you chuveiro or bath, yell "HELP! I'M DROWNING!!!!!!!!!!"

18. Snort loudly when you laugh and laugh harder.

19. Go into their room at 1 in the morning and yell "GOOD MORNING SUNSHINE!"

20. Try to climb the wall.

21. Say everything backwards.

22. In public yell "NO MOM I WILL NOT MAKE OUT WITH YOU!!"

23. At everything they say scream "LIAR!!!!!"

24. Fill up the bath then drain it and repeat 5 times. When you fill it up the 6th time, try to get in it then yell "MOM! DAD! THE WATER IS COLD!!"

25. Try to swim in the floor.

26. Pretend to be a phone.

27. Wear a T-shirt pointing to one of your parents that says "I'm with stupid."

28. In a supermarket, point at everything you see and scream "I WANT THAT! CAN I HAVE IT?"

29. Switch the light button on and off for a few minutos then say "Oooohhhh... I get it!"

30. Tap on their door all night.

31. Throw a tantrum in the middle of the supermarket, sit cross-legged and cruz your arms in the middle of the aisle until your parents let you buy what you want to have.

32. After everything they say, respond "Yeah, but no, but yeah, but no"

33. Claim you have been abducted por aliens before and tell all their friends.

34. When they ask you to call someone, stay where you are and yell their name.

35. Destroy the house and then go tell them, "I amor you Mommy/Daddy"

36. Cling to them constantly and blame it on "separation anxiety".

37. If they ever take you to their job, touch EVERYTHING and spin on their escrivaninha, mesa chair.

38. Knock over every container of liquid you see "accidentally".

39. Do the opposite of what they tell you.

40. Bring início the absolutely opposite type of guy/girl they'd want you to see. Like a drop out or a goth or something. Tell them he/she's you new boyfriend/girlfriend.

41.Yell out manga everywhere you go
posted by Alma_
Chuck Norris Jokes

-Some people wear super-homem pajamas. super-homem wears Chuck Norris pajamas.

-Only Chuck Norris knows the true end of the movie Inception

-When Chuck Norris throws a boomarang it doesn't dare come back

-Do you know how many push ups Chuck Norris has done? All of them

-Neil Armstrong never went to the moon for NASA, he was trying to run away from Chuck Norris

-Chuck Norris knows the letter after Z

-Chuck Norris was the alien who told the Egyptians how to invent the pyramid

-What's Chuck Norris' favorito Number?....................CHUCK NORRIS

-Superman wears Chuck Norris underpants.

-When Chuck Norris falls out of a barco he dosn't get wet the water gets Chuck Norrised

-Chuck Norris doesn't read books, he just stares them down until he gets the information he wants out of them.

-Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life.

-Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open.
I got this off an e-mail from a friend, so this is not mine and I take no claim in it. Please don't do these things in real life, it's just for fun and a good laugh. And if you do do these things (number 4 fo example), than I'm sorry but you're really dumb.

Enjoy!

__________________________________________________

6 Ways On How To Deal With tubarão Attacks:

1) DON'T SWIM IN THE SEA
More than 99% of tubarão attacks happen in large watermasses- also know as oceans. An easy way to tell if you are in an ocean is to taste the water- it will taste like salt.

2) SWIM ALONGSIDE FAT PEOPLE
Make sure that there...
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THIS IS NOT MINE. I got it from Tumblr. x)

The following is an actual pergunta given on a universidade of Washington Chemistry mid-term:

The answer por one student was so ‘profound’ that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well :

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle’s Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:

First,...
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posted by invadercalliope
I HOPE YOU ENJOY!
dora!
boots!
come on dora!

do-do-do-do-dora!
do-do-do-do-dora!
do-do-do-do-dora!
do-do-do-do-dora!
lets go!
dora dora dora the explorer!
DORA!
boots and supercool exploradora!

we need your help!

grab your backpack!
lets go!
jump in!
vamonos!


you can lead the way!

hey! hey!

do-do-dora!
do-d-dora!

swiper no swiping!
swiper no swiping! (oh man)

it;s dora the explorer!
--------------------------------------------------
dora dora
ven, ven
dora dora la exploradora
dale con el sol pequeña dora
vamos salta tu puedes niña
consulta a tu mapa
tutu dora tutu dora tutu dora
lets go
The End!
posted by cutiegirl01
01 Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
02 Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
03 Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting infers the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.
04 If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only segundos away from death.
05 Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony,...
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topo, início 25 Ways To Drive Your Roommate Crazy

1. Every time you wake up, start yelling, “Oh, my God! Where the
hell am I?!” and run around the room for a few minutes. Then go
back to bed. If yourroommate asks, say you don’t know what
he/she is talking about.

2. Buy a plant. Sleep with it at night. Talk to it. After a few weeks,
start to argue with it loudly. Then yell, “I can’t live in the same
room with you,” storm out of the room and slam the door. Get rid
of the plant, but keep the pot. Refuse to discuss the plant ever
again.

3. Buy a Jack-in-the-box. Every day, turn the handle until the
clown...
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posted by catgirl140
79 Things to do in an Elevator (Soooo funny)

1. Crack open your pasta, maleta or handbag, peer inside and ask "Got enough air in there?"
2. Stand silent and motionless in the corner facing the mural without getting off.
3. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act as if you're embarrassed when they open themselves.
4. Greet everyone with a warm handshake and ask him or her to call you Admiral.
5. Meow occasionally.
6. Stare at another passenger for a while. Then announce in horror: "You're one of THEM!" - and back away slowly.
7. Say "DING!" at each floor.
8. Say "I...
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I'm Dreaming Of A Fat Christmas

It was natal Eve. Selena sat yet on her head, sipping slow eggnog.

She looked at the cute barco hanging on the natal árvore and sighed. Last year, alex had hung it there, just before they looked at each other conversely and then fell into each other's arms and stood each other's hand.

If only I hadn't been so pretty, Selena thought, pouring a funny amount of rum into her eggnog. Then alex might not have got so stupid and left me all alone at natal time. She wiped away a fast tear and held her head in her hand.

Suddenly, there was a knock at the door and...
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posted by Shelly_McShelly
1. If using a touch-tone, press aleatório numbers while ordering. Ask the person taking the order to stop doing that.

2. Make up a charge-card name. Ask if they accept it.

3. Use CB lingo where applicable.

4. Order a Big Mac Extra Value Meal.

5. Terminate the call with, "Remember, we never had this conversation."

6. Tell the order taker a rival pizza place is on the other line and you're going with the lowest bidder.

7. Give them your address, exclaim "Oh, just surprise me!" and hang up.

8. Answer their perguntas with questions.

9. In your breathiest voice, tell them to cut the crap about nutrition and...
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posted by BellaCullen96
Act like you know the order taker from somewhere. Say, "BedWetter’s Camp, right?"
Add extra letters to words, ex: pizza becomes pizzzzzzzaaaaaaa
After ordering, say, "I wonder what THIS button on the phone does." Simulate a cutoff.
Amuse the order taker with little-known facts about country music.
Answer their perguntas with questions.
Ask about pizza maintenance and repair.
Ask for a deal available somewhere else. (e.g., If phoning Domino's, ask for a Cheeser! Cheeser!)
Ask for chips/fries with everything!
Ask for extra homo-sapien
Ask for the guy who took your order last time.
Ask how many...
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I thought I could protect you
From paying for my sins
And I've been walking this earth
Long enough, that death's a gift
(Ohhhh girl)

Been living this life so patient
Until I see you again
It's war we're facin'
I know that if I die
My only choice is still defending

No matter what they say
My amor for you is
greater than their powers
And their armies from above

You give me strength
I'm with you either way
If I die
If I stay
Give me strength
I'm with you either way
Nothing's lost
No mais pain
Just give me strength

The scars and the wounds
I wear them proud like tattoos
Reminds me that I lost you
Reminds that I'll be
Living...
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People liked my old goosebumps artigos so in the spirit of October lets do this...


BEST:

SLAPPY SERIES:
Let's just call it that, he's the reason we all remember anyway.. Inspired por a Twilight episode it's about a sentient dummy who likes making people his slaves, but not before gaslighting enough to make people think your crazy, you know like most evil dolls.. He does stand out a strong enough villain that he's the most remembered..

And lets not forget, he got struck por lightening at one point, so even God was tired of this dude's shit..


WELCOME TO DEAD HOUSE:
I don't really remember the book,...
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As we have mentioned before, link is an online game, you have to have a set of computers or if you want to play via mobile phone, that’s okay too. Being a 3D game drift hunter is a feast for eyes and minds.

Interestingly, you can customize your cars with multiple amazing features. You may modify not just the engine, but also the gearbox, the turbocharger, the cambers, the brake pressure, the brake balance, and more.

Challenging Racetracks and Improvised Customization
Drift Hunter is a game of multiple challenging racetracks. You will have to earn money por playing. And with that balance, you...
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posted by TimberHumphrey
No, no, no, no, no-no
Ooh
No, no, no, no, no-no
Ooh

Light a blunt up with the flame
Put that cocaine on a plate
Molly with the purple rain
'Cause I lost my faith
So I cut away the pain, uh
Got it swimming in my veins
Now my mind is outta place, yeah, uh
'Cause I lost my faith

And I feel everything
I feel everything from my body to my soul
No, no
Well, I feel everything
When I'm coming down is the most I feel alone
No, no

I've been sober for a year, now it's time for me
To go back to my old ways, don't you cry for me
Thought I'd be a better man, but I lied to me and to you

I take half a Xan' and I still stay awake...
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Well, it’s that time of the ano again. Halloween, the mês of scares, despite the fact that the ano 2020 has been a fucking nightmare mais than anything Dia das bruxas could do. Last ano I looked at five exploitation horror films. Some were good. Some were absolute trash. But I wanted to do that again. And this time, I wanted to up the ante. I wanted to take it a step further. Not with graphic content. God no. Nothing will ever make me sick like Nekromantik, I think. But in scale. Instead of five films, I decided to check out ten this year. Ones of differentiating quality. Will there be diamonds...
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No, really, these are real posts.. I'm not making this up...


#1:
Who cares about remembering soldiers, long as it means a dia off school, I'm happy!


#2:
I don't care if it's illegal, if a corpse looks hot, I'm fucking it!


#3:
JUST CAUSE I SUCKED YOUR COCK, DON'T MEAN WE DATING! I SUCKED YOUR COCK, BUT NOT YOUR HEART!!


#4:
I don't care about your shitty opinions! I like having sex with my father, it feels mature! So fuck off haters!


#5;
My kid is NEVER gonna watch Skrek! Disagree all you want! Beautiful people don't go with ugly people! My daughter would grow up thinking she should change cause some...
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posted by Canada24
#1: CAMP NIGHTMARE:
The camp is actually a hoax set up por the boy’s parents.. Okay, that would of been fine wait there.. But being Goosebumps, for some reason, it's so the boy can be prepared for an exploratory mission to a place called 'Earth'.. So they're aliens appearently.. Okay.. But WHY?


#2: THE BARKING GHOST:
The cachorros turn out to be humans that have been transformed into dogs, so they transform Cooper and fergie into cachorros and take over their identities, then Cooper and fergie transform them back but they accidently get transformed into squirrels or something like that, I don't know. Stine...
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Well, after some minor errors in the process, the SWERY mês marathon is back on track. Hopefully. The seguinte review will be tomorrow and will hopefully be just as passionate as this one. We did not have a great start to this month, let’s just say, and I really apologize for that. A rather drab game that SWERY had little creative control over, that was a game I had no desire in playing, and was immediately followed por lots of personal stuff in life taking over. But thankfully, we can mover on with the schedule and get on to better things from SWERY. Better things, such as the game that truly...
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Okay, so what the hell is this all about? Well, this is PS2 Cents, but where I talk about games in a shorter quantity. Basically, shorter, mais condensed reviews but you get five games reviewed. This is basically for games I had very little to talk about, did not finish due to reasons, or didn’t want to finish because the game was hot garbage. I dunno. This helps get reviews out faster and allows me to focus on the bigger reviews. We’ll start in alphabetical order and work our way from there. Starting with…

Airblade



Okay, so let me start out por saying this. This game is already infinitely...
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Ever since I was young, I’ve always enjoyed graffiti. I’ve never done graffiti in my life, or have any artistic skills at all, but I enjoy it. Maybe it was due to a combination of playing a lot of Jet Set Radio as a kid as well as seeing them when I was living around urban areas as a kid. Now do I condone the act of vandalism for the sake of graffiti….. Mmmmm legally can’t say. Basically, I amor the free spirited nature of it and any game that can replicate graffiti is fine por me. And today we’ll be talking about Graffiti Kingdom… this game has absolutely nothing to do with graffiti....
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