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When NASA first started sending up astronauts, they quickly discovered that ball-point pens would not work in zero gravity.

To combat this problem, NASA scientists spent a decade and $12 billion developing a pen that writes in zero gravity, upside down, underwater, on almost any surface including glass and at temperatures ranging from below freezing to over 300° C.

The Russians used a pencil.

Enjoy paying your taxes.















Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.....
cant stop laughing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Source: desktopnexus
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posted by Shelly_McShelly
Arthur is 90 years old. He's played golf every dia since his retirement 25 years ago. One dia he arrives início looking downcast. "That's it," he tells his wife. "I'm giving up golf. My eyesight has become so bad that once I hit the ball I couldn't see where it went."

His wife sympathises and makes him a cup of tea. As they sit down she says, "Why don't you take my brother with you and give it one mais try."

"That's no good" sighs Arthur, "your brother's a hundred and three. He can't help."

"He may be a hundred and three", says the wife, "but his eyesight is perfect."

So the seguinte dia Arthur heads off to the golf course with his brother-in-law. He tees up, takes a mighty balanço and squints down the fairway.

He turns to the brother-in-law and says, "Did you see the ball?"

"Of course I did!" replied the brother-in-law. "I have perfect eyesight".

"Where did it go?" says Arthur.

"I don't remember."
posted by Mallory101
1. Smoke jimson weed. Do whatever comes naturally.
2. Switch the sheets on your beds while s/he is at class.
3. Twitch a lot.
4. Talk while pretending to be asleep.
5. Steal a fishtank. Fill it with cerveja and dump sardines in it. Talk to them.
6. Become a subgenius.
7. Inject his/her Twinkies with a mixture of Dexatrim and MSG.
8. Learn to levitate. While your roommate is looking away, float up out of your seat. When s/he turns to look, fall back down and grin.
9. Speak in tongues.
10. mover your roommate's personal effects around. Start subtly. Gradually work up to big things, and eventually...
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Source: desktopnexus
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Source: desktopnexus
Dress up like one of the photographers and follow people around asking them repeatedly if they would like their picture taken.
Leave large gaps in between you and the people in front of you while waiting in line.
Every time you pass a chain restraint not in use, clip it on and use it to hold back the people behind you in line.
Ask the person running the roller coaster if someone has recently thrown up on it.
Pretend to freak out on a ride so they stop it to let you off.
Offer people money for their spots in line . . . Monopoly money.
Speak in Spanish, or pretend you're deaf and start making rapid...
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I am pondering this question, it is a very difficult one to figure out. I can not seem to think of anything to make an artigos on....

2 Hours Later

Wait I think I have an idea coming on... nope I lost it... wait no I found it again... What if I write an artigo about reasons why you should do pointe
1. you get to be taller
2. you can use them in self defense
3. you can... what you don't think that's a good idea... oh well back to the drawing board...

1 hora Later

Ok what about this... What happened when I invested in Eyepatches... hmmm titles to long how about My Eyepatch Investment.... sounds good......
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posted by ShadowFlame
THINK YOU'RE HAVING A BAD DAY. Check out these actual cases:

Fire authorities in California found a corpse in a burned-out section
of forest while assessing the damage done por a forest fire. The deceased
male was dressed in a full wet suit, complete with scuba tanks on his
back, flippers, and face mask.

A postmortem test revealed that the man died not from burns, but from
massive internal injuries. Dental records provided a positive
identification. Investigators then set about to determine how a fully
clothed diver ended up in the middle of a forest fire.

It was revealed that on the dia of the...
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added by akatsuki_otaku
10. we have a slim chance we might be able to make a non hangover wine.....more amazing things have happened.....Actually that might be a lie.
9. We've all got our friends and family....And chocolate.
8. We also have light chocolate!
7. we also have dark chocolate!
6. Did I mention we have chocolate?
5. If the "Waters of mars" doctor who special scared the cra* out of you, at least your not alone...
4. Even if you sometimes feel sad or depressed, the sun will come out tomorrow....OR if your used to typical british wheather then this doesn't apply to you sorry, but if your in any other country, then you still have ten reasons to stay sane!
3. When you think of chocolate everything seems to go your way...
2. There's someone for everyone!
1. Thats the lot! :)
-Pandawinx. :)
(PS thanks for reading! :) )
posted by Shelly_McShelly
1. If using a touch-tone, press aleatório numbers while ordering. Ask the person taking the order to stop doing that.

2. Make up a charge-card name. Ask if they accept it.

3. Use CB lingo where applicable.

4. Order a Big Mac Extra Value Meal.

5. Terminate the call with, "Remember, we never had this conversation."

6. Tell the order taker a rival pizza place is on the other line and you're going with the lowest bidder.

7. Give them your address, exclaim "Oh, just surprise me!" and hang up.

8. Answer their perguntas with questions.

9. In your breathiest voice, tell them to cut the crap about nutrition and...
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