aleatório Club
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posted by whatsupbugs
Hi. Here are some aleatório lessons.

1. Smiles are better than frowns.

2. A friendly greeting to a friend or even someone you barely know can make a big difference.

3. Making your loved ones happy is mais vaulable than any material item.

4. Being happy with the people you amor is worth mais than all the money in your wallet combined.

5. Even when things get bad an optimistic attitude and hard working dedication can make things better.

6. Being seguro is important, just don't overthink everything.

7. Calling bullies the things they call you in response won't make things better.

8. It's good to be nice to everybody, even the people who act bad. Being kinder than the bad guys can inspire them to change their ways.

9. Respecting opinions is important even if you highly disagree with other peoples' opinions.

10. People shouldn't be mocked for being unique as long as they don't do anything morally wrong.
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posted by BlackSunshine
Something I got in an e-mail. Still pretty funny. Especially since I've done a few...

1. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, and then act embarrassed when they open por themselves.

2. Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them to call you Admiral.

3. On the highest floor, hold the door open and demand that it stay open until you hear the penny you dropped down the shaft go "plink" at the bottom.

4. Do Tai Chi exercises.

5. Stare, grinning, at another passenger for a while, and then announce: "I've got new socks on!"

6. Meow occasionally....
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"We need" means "I want"

"It's your decision" means "The correct decision should be obvious por now"

"Do what you want "means" You'll pay for this later

"We need to talk" means "I need to complain


"Sure...go ahead" means"I don't want you to.

"I'm not upset"means "Of course I'm upset, you moron."

"You're...so manly "means" You need a shave and you sweat a lot."

"You're certainly attentive tonight." means     "Is sex all you ever think about?"

"I'm not emotional! And I'm not overreacting!" means     "I'm on my period."

"Be romantic, turn out the lights" means     "I...
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posted by Nick16
Why did I get divorced????

Well, last week was my birthday. My wife didn't wish me a happy birthday. My parents forgot and so did my kids. I went to work and even my colleagues didn't wish me a happy birthday. As I entered my office, my secretary said, "Happy birthday, boss!" I felt so special. She asked me out for lunch. After lunch, she invited me to her apartment. We went there and she said, "Do you mind if I goin to the bedroom for a minute?" "Okay," I said. She came out 5 minutos later with a birthday cake, my wife, my parents, my kids, my friends, & my colleagues all yelling,"SURPRISE!!!" while I was waiting on the sofa... naked.
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