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posted by Seanthehedgehog

 Robotnik: Snooping as usual I see! *Talks faster* Snooping as usual *Slows down* I see!
Robotnik: Snooping as usual I see! *Talks faster* Snooping as usual *Slows down* I see!


Car Stereotypes

There are many different types of cars for many different types of people. Observe.

Audi

Man: *Driving a black A6 at 80 miles an hora down the highway* Get out of the fucking way!!! *Pushes a Cadillac off the road*
Woman: *Crashes into a tree* Maniac!
Man: *Tailgating a Jaguar that is actually going the speed of 55* Come on, don't you know what the speed is?! *Honks the horn* Let's go!! *Honks again* I don't have time for this!! *Bumps into the Jaguar, and makes it crash into a guardrail*

Jeep

Buff Man: *Leaning on a trailer with a speed boat* Yep, just getting my Jeep filled up with gas here at the Gulf station, and then I'm going to New York to go fishing, and test out my new boat. God I amor my Jeep. Off roading is the way of life.

Ford

Man: *Driving a Taurus. He slows down as he gets behind a Corvette* Why is he slowing down?
Teenager: *Looking at the Ford behind him* Please don't be undercover, please don't be undercover!
Man: *Passes him*
Teenager: *Lets out a sigh of relief as he watches the Ford speed away from him*

Toyota

Old Man: *Turns left, passing a red light. He pushes a truck off the road* Learn how to drive!!
Man 53: *Looks at the dent on his truck* Jackass.

Honda

Lady: *Points at her Accord* This is the best car ever, because it's very fuel efficient.
Man: *Looks at his Volt* Yeah, sure.
Lady: (Dammit! He knows the truth! His car is better!!)

Hummer, yes people still drive these

Man: Alright!! I finished lifting the 600 pound weights. Now it's time to go to Wal-Mart and buy stuff!!
People: *Shopping at Wal-Mart*
Man: *Crashes into the front of the store* I WANT 60,000 CASES OF WATER!!! PRONTO!!!
Worker: They're in Aisle 12!
Man: DROP AND GIVE ME 50!!!!!! And while you're at it, FILL UP MY HUMMER WITH DIESEL!!!!!!!!!!! I also need some Blu-Ray discs, a Blu-Ray player, and a large variety of food!
Worker: That probably explains why you crashed through the front of our store.

Not all Hummers run on diesel FYI.

Fiat

A hot chick with big breasts was walking towards a rosa, -de-rosa Fiat 500.

Girl: *Grabs a dildo out of the luva compartment, then puts the key in the ignition. She turns it, and as she hears the engine having trouble starting, she begins to masturbate with the dildo* Ah! Ah! *Turns the key again as she continues masturbating* Oh yes~!

Citroen

Girl: It's the same thing as Fiat, only in France.
Man 96: Does anyone even drive those?
Girl: I have a 2CV.
Man 96: ...of course you do.

Volkswagen

Girl: *In a '55 Beetle, masturbating as her car won't start* Ja, Ja! Jawohl! Das ist wunderbar!
Man 89: Das ist das gleiche Problem wie Fiat, aber in Deutschland.

Aston Martin

Man: *Steps out of his car, wearing a tuxedo*
Woman: *Sitting behind a computer* Have you found anything yet?
Man: I spotted our target's vehicle. It's parked in front of the casino. It may take a while for me to-
Man 43: *Steps out of his car*
Man: Never mind, I got a clear shot. *Shoots the man*
Woman: You were supposed to bring him in alive!
Man: I'm Daniel Craig, I don't care about bringing people in for questioning. I only care about murder.
Woman: *Facepalm*

And finally, Nissan

A doorbell rang, and the door was soon opened por none other than.........ThaSlimJim.

ThaSlimJim: Oh cool, you brought my pizza.
pizza Delivery Guy: Yes, I brought it in my new Altima.
ThaSlimJim: Holy shit dude, I have that car!
pizza Delivery Guy: Sick bro!
ThaSlimJim: Do you also like pizza too?
pizza Delivery Guy: Hell yeah dude, that's why I deliver it!
ThaSlimJim: Sick! Come on in, I got some marijuana!
pizza Delivery Guy: Rock on bro!!

6 hours later

pizza Delivery Guy: *Stoned as he walks back to his car*
ThaSlimJim: Yo, come back tomorrow with mais pizza!
pizza Delivery Guy: Sure thing bro. *Stumbles into his car, and drives away. He swerves down the road at 60 miles an hour*

---

mais Car Stereotypes

We have mais stereotypes for mais cars, coming your way.

Rolls-Royce

Butler: *Parks a Silver Wraith in front of a giant mansion*
Rich Man: *Steps out with an unbrella* Well, pish posh and perfection, welcome to my British início dear chap. Come this way and I'll show you what's inside. *Inside his house* First off, we have every picture inside a gold frame. Each frame is 24 karat gold. I have 65 million pounds worth of diamonds, and 65 million pounds in general. I make ten thousand pounds a day, and share half of it with everyone in town.
Butler: He wouldn't do that if he had an Audi. He'd have to save up to keep it from falling apart.

GMC

Teenager: *Looking at a man*
Man: You scratched my truck.
Teenager: I did not.
Man: Yes you did.
Teenager: *Follows the man towards his truck. No scratch is seen*
Man: My door is messed up thanks to you.
Teenager: I didn't even touch your truck.
Man: You need to be mais careful on your bicycle. Get some training wheels.
Teenager: Hey, worry about yourself. *Rides away*
Man: *Shaking in fury*

Dodge

Girl: *Looking at a black charger following her* Please don't be undercover.
Man: *Driving the Charger* What is the meaning of this person going slow? *Runs the girl off the road*
Girl: *Stuck in a ditch* Well, he's definitely not a cop.

Chevrolet

Teenager: *Going 75 on the highway* I don't care if the speed is 55. I'm late for college.
Man 77: *Parked on the side of the road in a Suburban*
Teenager: *Turns off the highway, and drifts onto a road, turning right. He sees the Suburban* That's not a cop, because cops only use Ford's.
Man 77: *Spots the teenager speeding past him. He follows him, turning on his police lights* Dispatch, I got me a speeder.
Teenager: *Looks back at the cop* Fuck.

Mercedes-Benz. There's two of these.

The first one.

Busty Blonde: *Stops at a gas station in a shiny convertible* I need premium.
Attendant: You're not gonna masturbate if you have engine trouble, are you?
Busty Blonde: Does my car look like a Fiat? Besides, why should I masturbate, when I got you?
Attendant: *Blushing*

2nd

Indian: Hello, I from India, and this is my 1978 Mercedes. It is diesel powered, and should break down, but it does not, because it is Mercedes. All Indians, and Muslims in America drive diesel powered sedans from the 70's and 80's.
Muslim: Not me, I drive Volvo.
Indian: Get a diesel you bitch.

Mitsubishi

Man: *Drifting in snow* Woo-hoo!!
Man 79: *In a Ford Focus* Why am I losing?
Man: Because you're not driving a Mitsubishi. The king of rally cross, in dirt, or snow!! Yeah!! *Goes over a 50 foot jump, and continues driving in the snow* Forget Jeep, Subaru, and everything else. Mitsubishi is what you need for off road adventures.

Subaru

Asian: *Drifting in an outback station wagon. He smiles as he tries hard not to lean into the passenger's assento as he continues drifting*

And finally, BMW

I wish this wasn't true, because BMW's are very nice cars. Alas, some bmw drivers do behave like morons. As a matter of fact, what you will see actually happened to me recently.

Man: *At a red light, getting ready to turn left. He looks at a bmw X5 on the other side of the intersection, also getting ready to turn left* That's a nice car, I'd like to have one of those.
Woman: *In the X5*
Man: *Sees the light turn green. He begins to go forward*
Woman: *Driving forward, but gets in front of the other car, and goes on the wrong side of the road*
Man: What are you doing?
Woman: You nearly hit me!!
Man: I'm not the one who got on the left side of the road. *Gets rammed por a Toyota*

Okay, I didn't actually get rammed, but a Toyota was coming towards me at 80 miles an hour. If you want to kill yourself, that's your problem, but don't get others involved por driving like a jackass.
 Robotnik: Snooping as usual I see.
Robotnik: Snooping as usual I see.
added by ladolcevita
Source: Hmmm... Um,well EW.com, Everglow, Mugglenet, me!, forgot the last
Part 4 - but still in no particular order

61.
Name: John Hannah (Actor)
From: The Mummy/Sliding Doors
Character: Johnathan/James
Attraction: His scottish accent even though I know he doesn't have it in The Mummy - I still like him



62.
Name: Calvin Harris (Singer)
Attraction: His voice - when I heard I'm Not Alone I just couldn't get enough of it - his voice was just beautiful to me. Alas, he is also Scottish



63.
Name: Jonas Altberg (Singer)
From: Basshunter
Attraction: Well just look at those gorgeous eyes



64.
Name: Mark Strong (Actor)
From: Stardust
Character: Septimus
Attraction: I suppose...
continue reading...
1. AT DINNER: Look at your parent with crazy eyes, and whenever they say something, repeat the last word.

2. When they say, "What are you doing?", say, "What are YOU doing?" (emphasize the YOU)

3. IN THE LIVING ROOM: Tell your sibling to hide behind the sofá until you give them the signal. Call your parent into the room. Start crying and say "Mom! Dad! (sibling's name) ran away! Call the police!" When they call the police, give your sibling the signal. Enjoy parents reactions. (WARNING: ATTEMPT THIS ONE AT YOUR OWN RISK!!!)

4. WHEN THEY MAKE SOMETHING GROSS FOR DINNER: Ask them which restaurant...
continue reading...
posted by TDAPlayer158
link

60. Matthias
59. Thaddeus
58. Asia
57. Ananias
56. Syria
55. Ephesus
54. Esau
53. Mt. Zion
52. An-ti-och
51. King Nebuchadnezzar
50. Macedonia
49. Jacob
48. Moses
47. Judah
46. Abraham
45. Kerith
44. Sapphira
43. Ahab
42. Rehoboam
41. Jeroboam
40. Baasha
39. Mahar-shalal-hash-baz
38. Maale-akrabbim
37. Isaiah
36. Je'ho'sha'phat
35. Ahaziah
34. queen Athaliah
33. Pastor Eric
32. Zechariah
31. Joel
30. Pastor Ian
29. Jeremiah
28. Brad
27. Abijah
26. Ahijah
25. Uzziah
24. Thessalonians
23. Jerusalem
22. Titus
21. Tabitha
20. Thaddeus
19. Pastor Kerry
18. Tirshatha
17. Dalmatia
16. Simon-Peter-Leaka-tepha-lika
15. Hezekiah
14. Barrabas
13. Tarpelites
12. Demetrius
11. Deuteronomy
10. Exodus
09. Leviticus
08. Ezekiel
07. Gethsemane
06. Mary
05. Gabriel
04. Matthew-Mark-Luke-Johnaliqua
03. Gettah Hepher
02. Kadesh Barnea
01. JESUS
posted by blaise_jez
I found this on the internet.
Add up all of the letters in your first
name using this:
A=100 N=450
B=14 O=80
C=9 P=2
D=28 Q=12
E=145 R=400
F=12 S=113
G=3 T=405
H=10 U=1
I=200 V=10
J=100 W=10
K=114 X=3
L=100 Y=210
M=25 Z=23

60 points and under= not sexy
From 61 to 300 points= not too sexy
From 301 to 599 points= pretty sexy!
From 600 to 1000 points= very sexy!
From 1000 to 1500 points= very, very sexy!
1501 points and over= very, very, very sexy!

Example
Carly {my name}
C A R l Y
9 + 100 + 400 + 100 + 210= 819 points
819 points = very sexy!
found this on the net:

20 Ways to Annoy Public Bathroom Stallmate

1. Stick your open palm under the stall mural and ask your neighbor, “May I borrow a highlighter?”

2. Say, “Uh oh, I knew I shouldn’t have put my lips on that.”

3. Cheer and clap loudly every time somebody breaks the silence with a bodily function noise.

4. Say, "Damn, this water's cold!"

5. Drop a marble and say, "Oh sh*t, my glass eye!!"

6. Say, "Hmm, I've never seen that color before,. . ."

7. Grunt and strain real loud for 30 segundos and then drop a cantelope into the toilet bowl from a height of 6 feet. Sigh relaxingly....
continue reading...
added by adultswimperson
Source: google
The List

1. Throw pipoca in the air and yell, “It’s snowing!”
2. Go, “Oooooh…” whenever anyone kisses.
3. Clap when the good guy gets killed.
4. During the previews, yell, “Can you fast-forward it?”
5. Whenever the bad guy is doing something devious, say, “Watch out!”
——————————————————————————————————-
6. Laugh very loudly at all the corny jokes.
7. Tell the man selling pipoca that the bathroom is flooding.
8. Yell out what is going to happen.
9. Wear a cape and when its your turn to get pipoca yell, “I’m...
continue reading...
1.1 out of every 8 couples married in the U.S. last ano met online?

2.New York City has 578 miles of waterfront?

3.In New York, at the topo, início of a arranha-céu it is possible for people to see snow falling while people on the ground see rain?

4.Passports issued por the US after January 1, 2007 have always-on radio frequency identification chips?

5.Shopping is the most popular domestic trip activity por American travelers?

6.There are almost two million women veterans in the US?

7.The average American woman weighs 140 pounds?

8.The average clothing size for women in America is size 14?

9.The longest street...
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posted by EmzLovesCheryl
Hey, this is my piece for my drama exam, without the stage directions. I started composição literária it out on here as a way of learning it, then I thought, why no post it? I may as well, it's going to do no harm. :D
So here it is, its rather depressing though. So if you don't need to be depressed right now, then I suggest you don't read it. :)




[Give me a break. You’re going to go back to your friends and either forget all about us or tell a story about the hideous freak you met tonight. You don’t know me, if you did, you’d never think we’d be friends. I don’t have friends - except my brother....
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I'll do my best not to give out spoilers.. Would be hard though...


#1: JOHN MARSTON:
 "Give the Devil my regards."
"Give the Devil my regards."


Lets start the obvious choice. The man we all know.. Johnny Marston.

When we met him. He a man on a mission.. Track down everyone in his old gang, so he can return to his family.. His sassy nature. Badass look. And introduction to 'deadeye', quickly regarded John as one of the most memable protagonists of Rockstar games. Extra points cause, Bill and Javier are expert fighters. John is just "that good" por comparison.

I can't really say much without spoiling the end of...
continue reading...
Beauty and talent don't always go hand and hand, but Natalie Wood was a perfect example of both. When I last made my list of "Most Beautiful Women That Ever Lived" I put Natalie at like number six or something...Boy, was I stupid! I've been watching some of her filmes lately and I couldn't get over what a knock-out she was. She is definitely number one! She had such beautiful dark hair, big doe eyes, pretty lips, an adorable nose, a heavenly complexion, and a perfect body. I've been having her in my dreams lately...I've got a huge crush on her! The other night, I was dreaming about her and...
continue reading...
When we watch a show, we enjoy characters for their heroic actions, Valente hearts, and winning personalities. We like them basically because of the kind, sweet people that they are. Well...THIS IS NOT THAT LIST. This list is about the characters who are known (and even celebrated) as downright jerks. Granted, most of these characters do have good hearts but what makes them memorable is their extremely flawed personalities. Whether it be cockiness, grouchiness, racism, or just bossiness. These characters have a place in our hearts despite their unpleasant personalities, because we just can't help but like them.
 10. Maxwell Smart from "Get Smart".
10. Maxwell Smart from "Get Smart".
 9. Alexandra Cabot from "Josie and the Pussycats".
9. Alexandra Cabot from "Josie and the Pussycats".
 8. Vernon Fenwick from "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles".
8. Vernon Fenwick from "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles".
 7. Archie Bunker from "All in the Family".
7. Archie Bunker from "All in the Family".
 6. Helga Pataki from "Hey Arnold".
6. Helga Pataki from "Hey Arnold".
 5. Miss Finster from "Recess".
5. Miss Finster from "Recess".
 4. Binky Barnes from "Arthur".
4. Binky Barnes from "Arthur".
 3. Barney Fife from "The Andy Griffith Show".
3. Barney Fife from "The Andy Griffith Show".
 2. Skipper from "Gilligan's Island".
2. Skipper from "Gilligan's Island".
 1. fred figglehorn Flintstone from "The Flintstones".
1. Fred Flintstone from "The Flintstones".
added by tanyya
 Welcome to my list! ^__^
Welcome to my list! ^__^
Ah, the Sega Genesis. Such a classic video game system that so many of us played when we were just kids, and it's time I started showing some appreciation for this fantastic system.

But before I do, for those of you who aren't familiar with the console, the Sega Genesis was released por sega around the late 80's and was meant to compete with Nintendo, and it actually WORKED!

Yes I said that, another human being company actually had a chance to beat Nintendo.

My reaction: &*#!$%*@&%$&@*W$%&@!!!!!!!!!!!!

But to avoid wasting my time and for you to get mais detailed information, just...
continue reading...
added by levinstein
WARNING: This Video Contains Some Sensitive Themes, Strong Violence & Drugs. Viewer Discretion is Advised.
video
aleatório
música
funny
hilarious
weird
stupid
dumb ways to die
metro
added by marthatsal
Source: http://www.facebook.com/Shayan.Shiekh
added by youknowit101
Source: trollposts@tumblr
added by r-pattz
Source: tumblr/tangled
added by Nic0CrAzy