found this on the net:
18 Fun Things To Do In A Final That Does Not Matter (i.e. You are going to fail the class completely no matter what you get on the final exam)
1) Get the copy of the exam, run out screaming "Andre, Andre, I've got the secret documents!"
2) Talk the entire way through the exam. Read perguntas aloud, debate your respostas with yourself out loud. If asked to stop, yell out, "I'm SOOO sure you can hear me thinking." Then start talking about what a jerk the instructor is.
3) Bring cheerleaders.
4) Walk in, get the exam, sit down. About five minutos into it, loudly say to the instructor, "I don't understand ANY of this. I've been to every lecture all semester long! What's the deal? And who the hell are you? Where's the regular guy?"
5) On the answer sheet (book, whatever) find a new, interesting way to refuse to answer every question. For example: I refuse to answer this pergunta on the grounds that it conflicts with my religious beliefs. Be creative.
6) Run into the exam room looking about frantically. Breathe a sigh of relief. Go to the instructor, say "They've found me, I have to leave the country" and run off.
7) Fifteen minutos into the exam, stand up, rip up all the papers into very small pieces, throw them into the air and yell out "Merry Christmas!" If you're really daring, ask for another copy of the exam. Say you lost the first one. Repeat this process every fifteen minutes.
8) Do the entire exam in another language. If you don't know one, make one up! For math/science exams, try using Roman numerals.
9) Every five minutes, stand up, collect all your things, mover to another seat, continue with the exam.
10) Turn in the eam approximately 30 minutos into it. As you walk out, start commenting on how easy it was.
11) Every now and then, clap twice rapidly. If the instructor asks you why, tell him/her in a very derogatory tone, "the light bulb that goes on above my head when I get an idea is hooked up to a clapper. DUH!"
12) Come to the exam wearing a black cloak. After about 30 minutes, put on a white mask and start yelling "I'm here, the phantom of the opera" until they drag you away.
13) Bring a water pistol with you. 'Nuff said.
14) From the moment the exam begins, hum the theme to Jeopardy. Ignore the instructor's requests for you to stop. When they finally get you to leave one way or another, begin whistling the theme to the Bridge on the River Kwai.
15) One word: Wrestlemania.
16) Try to get people in the room to do the wave.
17) Get deliveries of candy, flowers, balloons, telegrams, etc . . . sent to you every few minutos throughout the exam.
18) Bring a musical instrument with you, play various tunes. If you are asked to stop, say "it helps me think." bring a copy of the Student Handbook with you, challenging the instructor to find the secion on musical instruments during finals. Don't forget to use the phrase "Told you so.".
18 Fun Things To Do In A Final That Does Not Matter (i.e. You are going to fail the class completely no matter what you get on the final exam)
1) Get the copy of the exam, run out screaming "Andre, Andre, I've got the secret documents!"
2) Talk the entire way through the exam. Read perguntas aloud, debate your respostas with yourself out loud. If asked to stop, yell out, "I'm SOOO sure you can hear me thinking." Then start talking about what a jerk the instructor is.
3) Bring cheerleaders.
4) Walk in, get the exam, sit down. About five minutos into it, loudly say to the instructor, "I don't understand ANY of this. I've been to every lecture all semester long! What's the deal? And who the hell are you? Where's the regular guy?"
5) On the answer sheet (book, whatever) find a new, interesting way to refuse to answer every question. For example: I refuse to answer this pergunta on the grounds that it conflicts with my religious beliefs. Be creative.
6) Run into the exam room looking about frantically. Breathe a sigh of relief. Go to the instructor, say "They've found me, I have to leave the country" and run off.
7) Fifteen minutos into the exam, stand up, rip up all the papers into very small pieces, throw them into the air and yell out "Merry Christmas!" If you're really daring, ask for another copy of the exam. Say you lost the first one. Repeat this process every fifteen minutes.
8) Do the entire exam in another language. If you don't know one, make one up! For math/science exams, try using Roman numerals.
9) Every five minutes, stand up, collect all your things, mover to another seat, continue with the exam.
10) Turn in the eam approximately 30 minutos into it. As you walk out, start commenting on how easy it was.
11) Every now and then, clap twice rapidly. If the instructor asks you why, tell him/her in a very derogatory tone, "the light bulb that goes on above my head when I get an idea is hooked up to a clapper. DUH!"
12) Come to the exam wearing a black cloak. After about 30 minutes, put on a white mask and start yelling "I'm here, the phantom of the opera" until they drag you away.
13) Bring a water pistol with you. 'Nuff said.
14) From the moment the exam begins, hum the theme to Jeopardy. Ignore the instructor's requests for you to stop. When they finally get you to leave one way or another, begin whistling the theme to the Bridge on the River Kwai.
15) One word: Wrestlemania.
16) Try to get people in the room to do the wave.
17) Get deliveries of candy, flowers, balloons, telegrams, etc . . . sent to you every few minutos throughout the exam.
18) Bring a musical instrument with you, play various tunes. If you are asked to stop, say "it helps me think." bring a copy of the Student Handbook with you, challenging the instructor to find the secion on musical instruments during finals. Don't forget to use the phrase "Told you so.".
If you want to know how to get stronger nails, then pay attention to these useful tips. They work!
File your nails: Every week you need to file you nails. Why? Because when you file your nails your body receives the message that it is time to regenerate your nails again. When this happens, the nail comes through stronger and in this way, will last longer.
Don't use too much polish: At least a couple of days a week go without polish and give your nails time to breathe.
Don't paint straight on the nail: Before painting your nails, use one casaco of clear nail protecter first. This will help strengthen your nails and give them needed nutrients.
Oil: Use almond, baby or oliva, verde-oliva oil on your nails after you have removed polish. You'll see how healthy this makes your nails!
Three nurses all decided to play a joke on the doctor they worked for. Later in the day, they all got together on break and discussed what they had done to the doctor. The first nurse said, "I put cotton in his stethoscope so he couldn't hear. The segundo nurse said, "Well, I did worse than that. I poked holes in all his condoms. The third nurse fainted.***************
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weirdness from inside my mind
================================================
its nice to see the rIsing sun
its nice to stay up Late
i like the sound of a hOover
i dont like the word Vegan
nobody likes my fEet
i like red except when itS blood on My sheet
this world is so rAndom
but i Like it that way
Lemons are sour
your Brain is sO frazzled
nOBody Said it Would be easy
I am noT a Hairy monster
Bann the bomb
I like that saying
i like Goats
Not as much as frogs
sInging is good
i think: Praying is worthless
pandas are cute
Legs are funny
mEn think im weird
So do women.
================================================
its nice to see the rIsing sun
its nice to stay up Late
i like the sound of a hOover
i dont like the word Vegan
nobody likes my fEet
i like red except when itS blood on My sheet
this world is so rAndom
but i Like it that way
Lemons are sour
your Brain is sO frazzled
nOBody Said it Would be easy
I am noT a Hairy monster
Bann the bomb
I like that saying
i like Goats
Not as much as frogs
sInging is good
i think: Praying is worthless
pandas are cute
Legs are funny
mEn think im weird
So do women.
One day, two american tourists were driving through Nova Scotia, argueing about the name of the town. Finally, assuming neither of them were right, they decided to stop and have something to eat for lunch. When they got into the restraunt, the waitress asked them if they were ready to order. Yeah, but first could you pronounce the name of where we are,veeerryyy slllooowwwlllyy? said the wife, smiling. Of course, the waitress said, noticing the two were american.
Tiiiiiimmmmmm Hooooorrrrrttttoooonnnnsss.
Hope that made you laugh.
Here are 2 aleatório facts:
They don't sell Smarties or Shreddies in America.
They dont have Walmart in America.
Tiiiiiimmmmmm Hooooorrrrrttttoooonnnnsss.
Hope that made you laugh.
Here are 2 aleatório facts:
They don't sell Smarties or Shreddies in America.
They dont have Walmart in America.
