1. Use potty humor. Announce to them that you have to go to the bathroom, and that you think that they should go too, as they have been holding it in for quite a while. When they do go to the bathroom, call out to them things like: "Are you doing okay in there?". To make it even mais annoying, if there are other people in the bathroom, proudly announce to them: "My friend is in there," pointing at the bathroom stall. When you are finished in the bathroom, come out with a sigh of relief and be sure to tell them all about your time in the bathroom. (Even if they would rather you didn't).
2. Sing along to everything. Especially the annoying or little-kid songs. If they are listening to their iPod, help yourself to one of their headphones and start cantar along to the song (if you're tone deaf this works really well). Remember, you don't have to even know the words to the song, just make them up as you go along – the dumber your lyrics the better! And, for bonus points, if you are watching TV, sing along with all of the commercial jingles. You could also sing something over and over to the point where no one can stand it anymore.
3. Hug aleatório people. Just spontaneously run up to a person and give them a hug and tell them that you are so glad to see them and that they are your best friend ever. And after that, right in front of them, do the same thing to some other person.
4. Ask private questions. You can either ask a ton of these to one person, or spread it around. If you are going to do this to any aleatório person, do things like ask a man if he has ever had an abortion or is pregnant, or ask a 13 ano old if they have ever been to rehab, had a drug intervention, or if they are wasted/drunk.
5. Laugh for no reason and at aleatório times. Don't explain yourself either when someone asks you why you are laughing. Just shrug it off and start laughing at something else. Alternatively, Make up inside jokes that only you know and don't share them with anyone. When someone asks you why it's so funny, just tell them that it's an inside joke.
6. Make animal sounds. People can get really annoyed if you sneak up behind them and say "baaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!". If someone is yelling at you or scolding you, make a questioning "baaahh?" or "rrribbitt?" sound.
7. Ask someone "why?" and then when they explain keep punctuating every explanation with a "why?" question.
8. Make prank phone calls. Call your friends during class to "see if their phones were off like they were supposed to be". Call aleatório numbers in the phone book and ask them if they would like to share a turkey sandwich, and don't worry, there's no mustard. The old refrigerator running call is a definite option too, because it's the most annoying in the book! Call one place and then hang up, and keep calling like that. They will be driven insane por the non-stop ringing.
9. Speak all in acronyms. Instead of actually laughing, just say "LOL!" Instead of atuação surprised, just say "OMG!".
10. Be sarcastic about everything, to the point that people have absolutely no idea what you are trying to say.
11. Quote an annoying saying or make one up and keep using it like it's an explanation for everything.
12. Talk about feelings. Always start the conversation with 'I feel' this and 'you hurt my feelings' that and don't stop. It will drive people crazy. It also helps if you get out an acoustic violão, guitarra and talk about how everything hurts your feelings. Also, every time someone says something, reply with, "Oh, I see. And how do you think that makes me feel?" Also, complain non-stop. No one wants to be around a whiner.
13. Act very full of yourself and like the entire world should revolve around your fingernails.
14. Make annoying sounds. Tap your fingers constantly on the table, or tap your foot over and over again.
15. Have really pointless and loud conversations on your mobile phone on the bus/train. This never fails to be annoying.
16. Shuffle around constantly. Act as if you can't keep still.
17. Make some kind of a repeated movement in someone's eye line.
18. Gawk at something non-existent on the topo, início of someone's head. When you're having a normal conversation with someone, suddenly open your mouth slightly and stare at a point just over their head or right on topo, início of their head. If they touch their head nervously and ask "what?" just stifle pretend laughter and shake your head and return to the conversation. To make it even mais annoying, keep doing it throughout the dia at inappropriate times.
19. Eat weird things constantly. Good things for this are sprinkles, ketchup, soy nuts, and ice. Or put something weird on everything you eat.
20. Eat really loudly. Forget your mesa, tabela manners.
21. Stare at people. This freaks a lot of people out.
22. Tell people, IN ENGLISH, that you do not speak English, and you are learning from a tutor. This works even better if you use really long or rarely used words. The kind of words that only people fluent in English would use.
23. Chew gum constantly, as loud as you can, and with your mouth open.
24. Learn a different language (uncommon languages work best) and ramble at aleatório people in that language. A highly recommended language is Klingon, as very few people know about it and it sounds alien.
25. Watch old movies. Some old filmes are annoying enough por just being on the shelves of the nearest Block Buster, but what if you took the old movie annoying factor to a whole new level? You can watch dozens of them and give reviews and say things like ,"The only part I didn't like was that Johnny and Bethany didn't kiss until the end" or "The musical numbers were GARBAGE" even if there weren't any. After composição literária your reviews, try and memorize them and tell everyone you know. You can also invite all your friends over and insist they stay up with you all night to watch the "I amor Lucy" series collection.
26. Sit on a bench in a park with a friend and make comments about people (loudly so that they can hear you) that is the complete OPPOSITE of what they are actually like, e.g. if a really fat person walks past, yell "OH MY GOSH, THERE'S JUST NO NEED FOR BEING THAT SKINNY."
27. When someone asks you anything, reply "sure, you want fries with that?".
28. Sing aleatório songs at aleatório times. for example: start cantar Jingle Bells during a car trip. This is very annoying and will annoy anyone.
29. If your friend is on a date, call him/her every 2 minutos to ask what's going on. Make them go into an extremely detailed descrição of what their encontro, data is wearing, down to if the zipper on his/her jaqueta is made of metal or plastic. If they turn off their phone, leave a zillion messages each with one question. If you can, call the person your friend is dating and ask to speak to your friend.
30. Refuse to go to cama unless the cat or whatever pet you have reads you a bedtime story.
31. Offer someone something. If they say yes and reach for it, yell "NO, THOSE ARE MINE!"
32. Contradict yourself constantly and act like it's the other person's fault for not understanding you. for example : "Everyone knows that secret" "If it's a secret than how come everybody knows it?" "No one knows it" "Then how do you know it?" "Everybody does" Keep doing this infinitely.
33. Pick a few aleatório fairly common words. Whenever someone says them. Inform that person that they have mispronounced that word and tell them the "correct" pronunciation. Never do this if the actually mispronounce a word.
34. Ask people what gender they are.
35. Tell this joke to the same person everyday. Here goes. You say," How many fingers do I have?" The they will say, "how many?" or "10." Then you say," I have 8 fingers and 2 thumbs!" And laugh and cough. Again, tell this joke to the same person everyday. Then, after a week, change the target.
Warnings
In most cases, this will not encourage other people to enjoy your company. You could lose all your friends if you annoy them. Don't be annoying to your friends too much, they will not be your friends anymore if you do so.
This blonde cop stops a blonde driver and asks for identification.
The blonde driver looks all around in her bolsa and can’t find her license. “I must have left it at home, officer.”
“Well, do you have any kind of identification on you?” asks the cop.
The blonde takes out a pocket mirror and says, “I do have this picture of me.”
“Let me see it,” says the cop. She holds up the mirror and looks in it. Then she says, “Sorry. If I had known you were a police officer, I wouldn’t have stopped you.”
The blonde driver looks all around in her bolsa and can’t find her license. “I must have left it at home, officer.”
“Well, do you have any kind of identification on you?” asks the cop.
The blonde takes out a pocket mirror and says, “I do have this picture of me.”
“Let me see it,” says the cop. She holds up the mirror and looks in it. Then she says, “Sorry. If I had known you were a police officer, I wouldn’t have stopped you.”
