aleatório Club
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1)"Why, do you find me irresistible?"

2)"No, I just dress better than you"

3)"You're a double gay. No returnsies!"

4)"I amor the segundo grade insults, *insert name here*. Honestly, isn't it strange how "gay" has come to replace "stupid"? And so what if I was gay? Insulting my sexual orientation is pointless.

NOW...if a girl says you're gay, and you actually are, I find the best burn is: "At least I can get a boyfriend."

5)Look them in the face with a deadpan expression. Simply say, "Yes. I'm gay," and walk away. Take their thunder away. It's such a juvenile thing to say in the first place.
Or just say, "Well, I guess you'd be the one to know."

6)I'd just say "Whoaaa. I know you have fantasies but keep them to yourself."

7)"why, you interested"? :) :)

8)That's not what your mom said last night.

9)'And...? This concerns you because...?'

Gay is not an offensive thing to be called. SO I would take it mais as a statement than an offense.

10)At least I'm not a homophobe.

11)I was in this situation before and I turn to the person and looked him in the face and said “ well honey, I guess you would know better than anyone would since you were biting the travesseiro last night.”

12)What tipped you off, my great sense of style, biting wit or was it your GAYDAR honey?

13)"I'm not even going to acknowledge your stupidity and close mindedness.' and walk away. It's not worth getting into a pissing match over. Pick your battles.

14)"It takes one to know one" always worked well for me.

It belittles the homophobe within his own warped value-system, without belittling you. It's rather childish of course, and is not of course 100% literally true, but although I haven't actually used it in 30-odd years (not having been called gay for a while), I've often had cause to reflect on its essential wisdom. Many gay-bashers are hiding, I believe, something of a rosa, -de-rosa streak within themselves.

15)must admit the best reply i ever heard was to a real bit brute of a fella and he was totally shocked.

The big fella said "Oi are you bent"

Quick reply was " Why have you got a crooked cock"

That was the end of that.

16)"Is that a statement or a come-on?"

17)YES i am HAPPY have you got a problem with that?

18)"I wear glasses as well. Just in case you didn't notice."

19)"Usually when one accuses another of being homosexual, it is simply to cover up their own fears and insecurities and thoughts about being homosexual themselves"

20)o0o0o0o baby you would know, then blow a kiss at them.

21)"And why exactly would you want to know...?"

Then turn and walk casually away.
Don't even play their silly little game por trying to make a "Comeback".

22) "does the term get a life mean anything to you?"

Or there's always the classic- give him a pitying look and walk away.

23)No, I'm extatic!!!, say it with a massive grin on your face.

24)Say "Yea, so blow me"

25)"ooof, you find me cute, don't you ;)"

26)Just say, If you don't tell anyone that I have a wooden penis then I wont tell anyone that you have splinters in your mouth.

27)Thanks. And I'm an adult too."

And walk away.

Why bother staying near idiots like this?

28)''And you're cute!''
Don't forget a 'menacing smile' yo...

29)Don't hate Me because you aren't me!

30)And you're what? Sad?

31)"In your dreams"

32)Well, if you AREN'T gay or bi, and the person who's asking is the same sex you are, try, "If you're looking for a date, you're going to have to look somewhere else; I can't help you."

OR -- "I don't know what you need, but you're not going to find it here."

OR -- "What's bugging you? Something to hide? You pulling a Larry Craig on us?"

Larry Craig is the conservative Republican "pro-family" U.S. Senator from Idaho who has been hateful to gay people to try to cover up that he, himself, has sex with strange men in public washrooms (despite having a female spouse back home.)

You want to avoid respostas that insult gay people. You want an answer that insults or at least deflects the person who is starting the anti-gay attack on you.

33)I deleted it, it was duplicate.

34)What kind of "cable" do you get. It looks like you have DSL.

35)Well, I prefer to be known as jolly or happy, but I appreciate you wanting to include me in your social group.

36)In my case, "No, only halfway." :)

37)Are you dropping hints .. and if you are .. sorry you're not my type .. that's what I'll say .. lol .. oi not that I'm gay ..

38)You weren't complaining last night!

39)"I', sorry if I misled you. I prefer the opposite sex so I would not be a fun date, but we can still be friends."

40)You only say that because I turned down your boyfriend.

41)At least I know the difference between “you're” and “your”.

42)You may want to say so are many other people and that is not every nice!It is your choice what you want to be in your own ways!Many people are gay but that does not bother most people and it doesn't bother me!

43)And you're point is.....

44)I'm sorry I know you want me to be a homosexual so we can hook up but I'm really not gay so it just wouldn't work between us.

45)"Is there a problem with being happy?" (using gay as a derogative term, as I sense that this is..is nothing mais than ignorance and tells a lot about the person saying it) Don't worry be gay!

46)say "I thought we were going to keep this quiet until we're both ready to come out"

47)..and you find me attractive?

48)'say'no I'm not gay, but oi but you don't need to take my word for it just ask your mom.

49)You're straight.Thanks for the observation.

50)'thank god, I didn't think you felt the same, come here lover!"

51)In fact i am gay. if you're intention is to insult me at least put some thought into it.

52)I may be happy (gay)but ,not desperate enough to want to go out with you....

53)Want my number?

54)Best comeback for guys when another guy says you're gay just look at him and point to you're Penis and when he looks just say who's gay now? and walk away.

55)If this is high-school- first, is there anything about that statement that hits closer to início than you would like? If there is, deal with this immediately, and then bite the bullet-
say yes.
whatever any foul idiot with no imagination calls you, say yes. After you agree with them, there is nothing mais they can do. Turn it around, and throw it back in their face. I was tormented through high-school, middle-school, elementary school- you name it. Fat, ugly, a lesbian, a witch, whatever. Say yes. They stopped calling me everything after I agreed with them. When they called me a lesbian, I put the two fingered V up to my mouth and flicked my tongue, and the guys taunting me flipped out and ran away- no joke. These tormentors will not stop immediately, because they're testing you, but hold firm. When you do not react, they can not hurt you.

56)How about "if you have a problem with that, then you are the one with the problem"

57)Pucker up and say " Your place or mine?"

58)Like Jerry Seinfeld said "not that there is anything wrong with that"

59)'So is your face!'

Please note that the first reply doesn't work if the person is your brother or sister...

Seriously, though. If someone calls you gay with a genuine intention to hurt you based on your sexuality, let them. Tell them they're right, or wrong as the case may be. A person that crude and insensitive doesn't deserve your attention.

60)"Your mother (if you're a girl) didn't seem to mind."
"Your father (if you're a boy) didn't seem to mind."

61)You say "yes I do find myself to be a very happy person." or say "that's not my name at all, you should really try to keep your names/faces in order."

Gay has many different meanings and is also a name.

62)How about "Hey, ducky, you're the one whose dating me."

63)"Not without jantar and a movie first!"

64)Why? Are you looking for a date?

65)I'm sorry, but I just don't like you like that. Sorry things didn't turn out for you.

66)"I never noticed before but you have a great butt, honey" *blow kiss/wink and walk off*

"But I thought you liked it last night" *pout*

"No, but your girlfriend/mom/sister sure does amor anal!"

67)Damn Skippy! Now dip me chocolate and throw me to the lesbians!

Haha!

68)Bend over and lets find out :P

69)You better believe it baby, now turn around and I'll show you how it's done.

70)"would you please excuse me, and walk away".

71)Well if the other person is of the same sex as you, you can always say something like " Just because I am hot does not mean I am yours!"

72)LOL...This has happened to me...Another female told everyone I was a lesbian. I confronted her...She of course played it up for her friends, and as she was walking away, I grabbed her and kissed her. Am I a lesbian? No. Did she ever say anything about me again? No. Muahahaha

73)OH darling, that coming from someone who gave me a good blow job last night.

74)Oh am I? Tell me about it.

75)I know you are but what am I? (I always find that so lame it just cracks me up)

76)"I'm not a lesbian, but my girlfriend is!"

77)if they don't like it tell the straighties to stop making gay babies.

78)Why! I didn't know YOU were gay? ..You're not?...Then why are you giving me a physical appraisal?

79)Jack: "Hello, are you Gay?"
Gay: "Yes Jack, Nice to meet you"

80)And you're about as straight as a circle.

81)So is your Dad, look how you turned out.

82)For a kid: "They say gays have the best gaydar!" (or equivalent "takes one to know one")
Showing you don't care ("I support gay people" "What, are you GAY?" "Um, yeah, because the fact I've just stuck up for gays means I'd be reeeeeeeeally insulted if a bigot thought I was one.")
If you're an adult, though? Seriously, who gives two shits? It's not an insult, and when people mean it as an insult it's just a quick way for you to find out they're not worth your time.

83)Yeah.... In your wet dreams .

84)Isn't it weird how we can always recognize another gay?

85)With a deadpan expression, and a flat toneless voice -

"gosh that really is a killer insult...."

followed por a big yawn.

86)Would it significantly raise your IQ if I was?

87)At least when I look into a mirror, I don't break it!

88)Are you free Saturday night?

89)If it's a girl:
"Sorry to disappoint."

in general:
"You're right! I AM a happy person!"
"Did you find that in a trash can? It kinda stinks..."
"YOU'D wanna know."
"Sorry, bud. Not interested."
"is that your face, or did your neck throw up on you?"
"If you were looking in the mirror, I'd say the same."

90)"Why, are you interested?"
"Not for you."
What, do you like me?
Why'd you say that,are you fantasizing about me again?
"Only in your wildest dreams"
"AWW! atuação a whittle tough just cause you can't have me?"
"Get your pants off and we'll test that theory"
"Only for you, sexy!"
"your mom/dad sure found out"-OH por the way is he/she free this Saturday night?
"your mother/father tells me that all the time"

"I know that you are jealous but do try to understand sweetie that I am just not attracted to bitches/dickheads so go find another girl/guy to have a crush on" and if he/she says he/she doesn't have a crush on you say "that's funny you are giving me all this attention and not on the guys/girls why is that"

Or "I am not the one that's oppressing about it do you have something you want to tell us" and if he/she says that he/she is not oppressing about being a gay then say "hey I am not the one who has said the word gay "x" times there's nothing wrong with you being sexually attracted to women/men"

You know what? I would absolutely amor to see life from your point of view, but I simply can't seem to stick my head THAT far up my ass.

91)Is that an offer?

92)I no that's your sexual fantasy.

93)Give them a condescending look and say "Well, yeah, that's why I don't have time for small-minded fuckwits like yourself."

94)Yeah, Gay like a Fox!!

95)how about "no shit?!" :) congratulations you aren't so stupid after all.

Okay these are a lot,well I was bored. :)
posted by milorox18
1. I amor the way we finish each other’s sentences.

2. I amor the way I know you’ll never give up on me.

3. I amor the fact that I wouldn’t ever give up on you.

4. I amor the way you look at me.

5. I amor how beautiful your eyes are.

6. I amor the way I can’t imagine a dia without you in my life.

7. I amor the way if we were ever separated I wouldn’t know how to go on.

8. I amor the way we cuddle and watch sunsets together.

9. I amor the way we sometimes stay up all night and just talk, then watch the sunrise together.

10. I amor how I know you’ll always be there when I need you to be.

11....
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1- eye contact , if you notice him staring a lot at you ..like mais than 5 times in the same dia .(unless you got a stain on your shirt)
2- if you and him were in the same area , he would be with you in every where you walk to ( like a party or a show, concerto ..etc)
3- he would sit seguinte to you in your class ( unless hes too shy )
4- he would scream or laugh out loud to get your attention .
5- he would kill to be your lab partner at school .
6 - if he says to you hi and hes all too sweaty , make sure hes nervous and that means he likes you.
7-if you drop something , he would be the first to get it for...
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posted by simpleplan
1. When the teacher says to “take a seat”, you answer “take it where”.
2. When the teacher calls your name at roll call, you answer “Absent”.
3. When she calls roll, you answer “yo mama”.
4. When the teacher says something, you say “is that so?”
5. If you so happened to not turn in your homework say, your class pet ate it.
6. Tell your teacher you’ll turn in your homework, as soon as your parents finish doing it.
7. Tell your teacher you did not turn in your homework because you were watching TV.
8. Fold your homework into a cootie-catcher.
9. Fold your homework into a paper...
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posted by smileypop9
1.When you walk into the room, run up to the teacher and stare her in the eyes. nothing more. just keep a straight face and stare. they get quite scared.

2.Before your science class starts, put a resfriador, refrigerador that has "Human Head" written on top, on the front table. On the board write: "Class, we will be disecting a human head tommorrow, the sign up list is on my escrivaninha, mesa for the part you would like to dissect" Actually put a sign up list on her desk.

3.bring a cactus to school. Raise your hand. When called upon say the cactus has a question. look at the cactus and wait for it to say something. when it...
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1. Her eyes were like two brown circles with big black dots in the center.

2. He was as tall as a 6′3″ tree.

3. Her face was a perfect oval, like a círculo that had its two sides gently compressed por a Thigh Master.

4. From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you’re on vacation in another city and Jeopardy comes on at 7:00 p.m. instead of 7:30.

5. John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.

6. She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up.

7. The ballerina...
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1. We aren’t mind readers!
2. We are not to be used as pawns in trying to make your girlfriends jealous.
3. When you sleep over never boss me around in cama unless it is during sex.
4. Smoking is the biggest turn off.
5. It never hurts to work out.
6. If you don’t want to hear the truth, don’t ask the question.
7. “Fine” or “whatever” is not an appropriate ending to a conversation.
8. If you want sex, just ask. (In case you didn’t already know.)
9. Don’t expect guys to say as many sweet things as they do in the movies. (It takes a lot of guys and their wives to come up with those...
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1. Guys hate sluts even though they have sex with them! (oh yeah..you're not "popular" if you've slept with mais than 5 guys..you're a HOE)

2. "Hey, are you busy?" or "Are you doing something?" ~ two phrases guys open with to stop from stammering on the phone.

3... Guys may be flirting around all dia but before they go to sleep, they always think about the girl they truly care about.

4. Before they call, guys try to plan out a little about what they're gonna say so there aren't awkward pauses, but once he's on the phone he forgets it all and makes it up as he goes.

5. Guys go crazy over a girl's...
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I got bored, so here you go.


1. BlueEyedDemon

2. SuicidalSlut

3. MaliciousIntent

4. GloomyTears

5. Blacklight

6. DarkSunshine

7. FallenIsolation

8. DrowningInTears

9. DismalAngel

10. FallenSolitude

11. HopingInSolitude

12. SilentCall

13. CountingOnRain

14. CalledForMishap

15. RuefulDestiny

16. FallenAngel

17. KilledByAnAngel (I know for a fact it's taken on here por my twin sis but I made it up)

18. FlamingCore

19. Darkenin(g)InRegret (The G could be taken off if there is a 15 character like on Fanpop)

20.Itrieditathome

21. RunWithScissors

22. PlaydateWithFire (Over 15 characters but... I like it)

23. RejectedStar...
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1.In the future everyone will be famous for fifteen minutes. I'll have twenty.
2.Sometimes you make me so mad i wanna throw you in the middle of on-going traffic; but then i realize i would probably kill myself trying to save you.
3.im the type of girl who would burst out laughing in the middle of silence because of something that happened... yesterday.
4.so ill walk the plank & jump with a smile if im going down ill do it in style you wont hear me surrender.
5.the truth hurts so we lie
6.silence is golden, duct tape is silver
7.i know your probably thinking oh no she didnt but i just so totally...
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posted by iluvsmj
I called your boyfriend gay and he hit me with his purse!

Roses are red violets are blue, God made me pretty, what the hell happen to you?

Right now I'm sitting here looking at you trying to see things from your point of view but I can't get my head that far up my ass.

A pretty girl can kiss a guy* a bird can kiss a butterfly* the rising sun can kiss the grass* but you my friend!! yes you!! YOU CAN kiss MY ASS*******

If you didn't have feet you wouldn't wear shoes.....then why do you wear a bra??!

mirrors don't talk but lucky for you %n they don't laugh

Poof be gone, your breath is too strong, I...
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44 Ways to Make a Girl Happy

Ladies, this will make you tear up :)

Fellas, read all of it:)

1-Touch her waist.

2-Talk to her.

3-Share secrets.

4-Give her your jacket.

5-Kiss her slowly.

Are you remembering this?

6-Hug her.

7-Hold her.

8-Laugh with her.

9-Invite her somewhere.

10-Let her be with you when you're with your friends.

Keep reading...

11-Smile with her.

12-Take pics with her.

13-Pull her onto your lap.

14-When she says she loves you more, deny it. fight back.

15-When her friends say i amor her mais than you, deny it; fight back and hug her tight so she can't get...
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I never thought I would be doing a list like this because when I do lists based on looks it's on women. As a straight guy, it's easier for me to rank women than men. However, when I put my mind to something I try my best to come through. I had already done this list with women and I remember being asked if I would ever do it with men, so here it is. Keep in mind this is all just my personal opinion as a straight guy and it wasn't easy to figure out AT ALL! Please comment but be polite. Also, always comment because I worked HARD on this and during a time I had just had laser eye surgery and...
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42 Things That Will Make Your Parents Go Crazy.

1. Follow them around the house everywhere...

2. Moo when they say your name...

3. Run into walls...

4. Say that wearing clothes is against your religion...

5. Stand over them at four in the morning with a huge grin on your face and say, good morning sunshine...

6. Pluck someone's hair out and yell, "DNA"...

7. Wear a sticker that says, "I'm a retard"...

8. Have 20 imaginary friends that you talk to all the time...

9. In public yell, "No Mom/Dad, I will not make out with you!!"...

10. Do what they actually tell you...

11. Jump off the roof, trying...
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posted by CoaxochYJ
My suicide note that I threw away cuz of my awesome friends and life I wanted to keep.

To the friends, I call my family,

By the time you read this letter, I will be only a faded memory.

A corpse on the cold bathroom floor.

It is too late for me now, and I know it.

Even as I write this letter I can feel the life draining out of me.

But I feel it, so that's something, right?

I have been dead for a while now, though you may not have noticed.

I died the night I couldn't amor you, my love.

I loved you with everything.

My heart, my body and soul.

I am sorry I wasn't good enough for you.

At least you're happy....
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posted by Bubblekat
1. Go around stores, pick up items and yell out really loudly "Who buys this CRAP anyway?!"

2. Get a cart, get on the bar below the bar you grip, and push it down the isle, extra points for running into something or someone

3. Go up to a aleatório person and say "you have pretty eyes, may I have your eyes?!" and hear to see what they say

4. Laugh randomly

5. If someones talking on a cellphone Go closer to them and start maki aleatório noises to disturb them, extra points if they hang up

6. If your near a fonte run to it and start splashing in it

7. If your mom starts nagging to you in public about the...
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I'm a girl pervert!I say guys are crazy cuz they think I touch their butts!I blame it on their hormones even though I touched their butts alot!

1.Be a real pervert

2.You don't have to look like one but just act like one

3.Always when you're walking behind a guy always look at their butt!And say"say veiw" then touch it nice and gently! :)

4.They look back and ask you say'what?no way especially not your flat ass!!!!"when they turn around find another butt to look at!

5.Look at their muscles when they're wearing camisa sleeve shirts and they're doing heavy lifting

6.Take pictures as well

7.Always comment...
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No, I'm not racist I just found it on youtube.

If you want to check it out link

59. Goldstein
58. Burgenblatt
57. Burgenstein
56. Birumbaum
55. Farbstein
54. Grepslach
53. Steinbergavinski
52. Schnitzler
51. Pupikatvitz
50. Schnitzelmacher
49. Schpoilgekatz
48. Manashevitz
47. Platzenfinkle
46. Yankelovitz
45.Shteinshtein
44. Oyvayski
43. Shmoigerberg
42. Choppedleiberman
41.Zilbershpitzanhimelfarbenfleishebien
40.Gefiltafarb
39. Gefiltashlep
38. B'Bergberg
37. Yidihevitz
36. Synagogavitz
35. Parkenfien
34. LOL they forgot this one... :D
33. Kinkenberg
32. Menachemchem
31. Rechtum
30. Along with this one
29. Docotrlawyerstein...
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posted by Lady10358
Found this on google
1. If you're lucky enough and find someone with the shirt: FREE HUGS or If you find a camisa store selling it, hug the shirt/person and if they/someone notices you, say "It says free hugs!"
2. go to the comida court and go to a fast comida place and take tons of straws and put as many possible in your mouth and stand on a mesa, tabela cantar elmo's world theme.
3. Go to one of those toddler toy/clothing stores and hold up a baby outfit/toy and yell as loud as you can "I amor THIS TOY! I'D PLAY WITH IT dia AND NIGHT!"
4. Go to the bathroom and hide in a stall until you see an old lady/guy...
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posted by Shelly_McShelly
my friend sent me this text message a while atrás and i thought it was hilarious!!!




i need to ask you somethingand i want you to be totally honest with me. it may be awkward between us after this but i have to kow how you feel... I've kept it in for a while now but now it's time to be straight up and just confront you. i hope this doesn't ruin anything we have, i just need to know and i dont see any other way i could get over this. it just doesn't seem fair if i dont gett an answer. i want you to tell me truthfully, please no matter how harsh it is. i just want your hoest opinion...

Pepsi or Coke?



Ha ha ha ha !!!
Funny.
added by xxXsk8trXxx