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posted by d3ath_3at3r
In a pub teste the other dia I lost por one point. The pergunta was, "where do women mostly have curly hair?" Apparently, it's Africa.


One of the other perguntas was to name two things commonly found in cells.
It appears that Nigerians and Jamaicans is not the correct answer.


I've heard that maçã, apple has scrapped their plans for the new children's iPod, after realizing that iTouch Kids is not a good product name.


There's a new Muslim clothing comprar that opened in Toronto but I've been banned from it, after asking to look at some bombardeiro jackets.


You can say lots of bad things about pedophiles, but at least they drive slowly past schools.



A mate of mine has just told me he's shagging his girlfriend and her twin. I said "How can you tell them apart?" He said "Her brother's got a moustache".



Just put a deposit down on a brand new Porsche & mentioned it on Facebook. I said "I can't wait for the new 911 to arrive!" seguinte thing I know, 4000 Muslims have added me as a friend !!



Being a modest man, when I checked into my hotel on a recent trip, I said to the lady at the registration escrivaninha, mesa ...
"I hope the porn channel in my room is disabled."
To which she replied, "No, it's regular porn, you sick bastard!”


The Red cruz has just knocked at our door, and asked if we could help towards the floods in Pakistan. I said we would amor to, but our hose only reaches to the bottom of the garden
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posted by McDreamyluva
Here's the famous 'Best Divorce Letter' por Dan to Connie, pretty hilarious, definitely a must read! xD



Dear Connie,

I know the counselor said we shouldn't contact each other during our "cooling off" period, but I couldn't wait anymore.

The dia you left, I swore I'd never talk to you again but that was just the wounded little boy in me talking. Still, I never wanted to be the first on to make contact. In my fantasies, it was always you who would come crawling back to me. I guess my pride needed that. But now I see that my pride’s cost me a lot of things. I'm tired of pretending I don't miss you....
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Source: google
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Source: Smarthphowned.com
added by Mallory101
As a proud visitor of forty-four of the fifty United States, I am a bit of a self-taught expert in amusing oneself on long rides in motor vehicles. Whether you are the driver, riding shotgun, or sitting in the back, there is a plethora of ways to make said drive go por much faster.
One way to take a long, boring drive across the never changing flatness of Nebraska or Oklahoma, and mold it into an enjoyable spending of one’s time is to engage in a physical fight with a sibling. This works best when you are driving and the sibling is in the back seat. It does not matter if the said sibling is...
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added by liridonarama96
added by gkazeuishida
posted by NatalieSunshine
1.Run with her on the beach.
2.Give her your sweater when she’s cold.
3.Never talk about other girls infront of her.
4.Learn to play the violão, guitarra for her.
5.Comfort her when she’s scared.
6.Watch the sunset with her.
7.If she can’t sleep read her a bedtime story.
8.If you get in a fight with her and she starts crying,just stop and hold her.
9.Never force her to do anything.
10.Call her beautifull,especially when she least expects it.
11.Never let her walk alone.
12.Play with her hair when she’s laying on your chest.
13.Always make the first move.
14.Never lie to her she’ll find out.
15.Kiss her when...
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