Hello! I'm back with another oneshot, 'bout private this time! Disclaimer: I don't own POM, but I do own my OC's Chuck,
Melony, and their mom and dad. :P Warning: There is no warning.


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Private had always been afraid of badgers. He never quite knew why. Perhaps it was their vicious looking teeth. Or maybe it was simply because they were bigger than him. But, when Private was assigned to spy on the new niehbors, he had no idea what was waiting for him inside that habitat. He skipped all the way there, excited. He jumped right over the fence into the habitat. It was an average sized habitat, but because it was mostly dirt and a few trees, it seemed enormous. And it looked like no one was there.

"Um...hello? Anybody here?" he called out. Perhaps they were at the doctors, getting a check up before they could be released? He heard dirt shuffling behind him, and he turned to see a creature with razor sharp teeth staring at him. There was only one thing this creature could be.

"Hi," It said. It stepped toward him. Now, this thing was no bigger than Private, and probably only a few months old, but Private screamed anyway and tried to run away. In his attempt to escape he accidentally fell into one of the holes that badgers live in. It was small, but had a tunnel connected to it that extended a few feet. Private hurried into the tunnel until he reached the end. It was only a few feet away from the entrance, but he felt safer, tucked away where his worst fear couldn't see him.

Oh, why did they have to be badgers? Why couldn't they be man-eating sharks? Or maybe just the flying Pirahnas that Skipper talked about before? He saw shadows above the hole, and let out a whimper. Then he heard voices.

"Mom, get that weird thing out of my room!" Whined a tiny voice. The voice belonged to the girl texugo that had said hello to him.

"Now Melony," said another voice, "Don't scare the poor thing. It's probably afraid. Come on up, we won't bite! We promise! Well, unless your a bird or a rat."

Private gulped. He WAS a bird! "Please dont eat me!" he begged. He looked around the room, which was had blankets, books, and other things crammed into it. So, it was the girls room. Suddenly, the girl popped through the entrance, making Private scream.

"What's up?" She asked him. "I'm Melany,"

"I'm p-private," He squeaked. "Please dont eat me!"

Melany laguhed. "Don't worry, you don't look all that tasty. Kinda ugly, actually." Private frowned. Everyone else thought he was cute. "And you know what else?" She continued. she poked at privates beak. "My jantar had one of these things on it, right where its lips should be. What are these things?"

Private pushed her paw away. "It's my beak!" He snapped.

Melany squinted her eyes at Privates attitude. "Well, this is my room anyway, and no boys allowed, so GET OUT!" she screamed. She pushed him right out of the hole, surrounded por 3 other badgers.

One, which he assumed was Melanies mom, was looking at him with a sweet look on her face. The other one, which was bigger than her, was obviously male. It had such long claws, that Private shreiked like a girl and tried to run away again. The male brought a paw down in front of private, blocking his path.

"Who are you?" He asked, eyeing the pinguim carefullly.

"I-I'm private!" He piped up. "I'm p-part of an elite f-force of p-penguins! My friends are Skipper, Kowalski and Rico!" The poor thing couldn't help but spill his guts out becuase of the pressure . The male seemed to think.

"Ugh, penguins." He said finally. "Not very tasty. Too much dark meat. I guess your safe." The third one, a male about Melanies age, walked up to him.

"I want to play with you!" He demanded. "Will you play with me?"

Although Private was releived he wouldn't end up as their seguinte meal, he was still cautious. he eyed the 3. A mom, a dad, and a little brother. And in the hole, a sister. He smiled. "Sure," -

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Back in the penguins habitat, Kowalski ran out of his lab screaming.

"What is it Kowalski?" Asked Skipper.

"Well, I was just studying the terrain of the new niehbors! It seems the new inhabitants.......they.
they are American Badgers! They eat birds! SMALL birds! And, they are Privates worst fear!"

Rico gasped, and the 3 immediatly ran off to the habitat.
"I should've have never let Private go off on his own!" Complained Skipper. "He's just not old enough! How could I have forgotten the pinguim Credo? Rico, give me a mental note to slap myself later!"

Rico nodded as they continued running.

When they reached the habitat, they saw Private being chased por one of the evil Badgers. They jumped inbetwween the two, in battle position, causing the young texugo to skid to a stop.

"Guys!" Cried private. "What are you doing! Me and Chuck were playing tag!" Skipper raised an eyebrow.

"So....he wasn't trying to out pluck each of your feathers,
rip you apart, and dine on your delicate flesh?" he asked.

"Of course not!" said Private. "They don't eat penguins."

" But....I though you were afraid of badgers?" Asked Kowalski.

Private smiled. "Not anymore!"