Grandma felt extremely guilty. She thought it was all her fault; she'd tried to set me up with Foster in the first place. I tried to convince her it was my own choice; my own mistake, but she still blamed herself.
But I had other things to worry about.
One dia at school, Echo wasn't there. I wouldn't have been so worried, if people weren't freaking out about it. I kept hearing Echo's name said in the hallways, along with "did you hear?" The teachers in some classes even told kids to stop talking about it; it was none of their business. But it was mine. She was my best friend, and I didn't even know what happened to her.
So before lunch, I went up to some aleatório kid. I think his name was Asher.
"Hey, do you know what happened to Echo?" I asked, He stared at me for a moment, then nodded. He looked around, then spoke in a quiet voice.
"She got sent to rehab for her cutting," he whispered. My coração sank into my stomach. Everything got blurry, and I felt myself sway a little bit. "Cosette?" I heard him say, but it sounded very far off. I blinked, and tried to refocus.
The seguinte thing I knew, I was over por the drinking fountain, sitting up against the wall. My head was spinning, but I could hear someone seguinte to me. Then I hand came in front of my face, holding a cup.
"Drink this," a voice said. I flinched a little bit, and looked up to see Asher. I took the cup from his hand and took a sip. It was water. I set it down on the ground, and held my head in my hands. "How're you feeling?" Asher asked.
"What happened," I muttered. My head was still spinning, and things were vaguely clear. Echo was in rehab? How'd they find out?
"Well, you didn't look so good, so I brought you here. You passed out for a couple segundos on the way."
"That's not what I meant," I sighed.
"Oh," he said. "Um, I don't really know. There were always rumors, but I guess the counselor decided to check into it. They dragged her off yesterday evening."
"Oh no..." I whimpered. There was an awkward silence.
"So... You knew?" he asked. My face flushed.
"Yes," I sighed. He was quiet again.
"Well... It's not your fault... Just so y'know," he said softly. "I gotta go. Maybe I'll see you around?" I ignored him. I was too mad at myself. I don't know why. He patted my head gently before leaving, like I was a little kid or something.
***
I slammed the door shut, as I came in. Grandma jumped in her seat, surprised. I was sorry I'd scared her, but I was still too angry to apologize.
"Cosette, Dear, what's wrong?" she asked.
"It's Echo," I said.
"What? What's wrong? Did you two have a fight?"
"No, she's... She's gone."
"What do you mean?" she asked, astonished.
"She's..." I didn't know what to say. I sighed. "She's in rehab." Grandma's eyes widened.
"May I ask why?" she asked politely. I bit my lip. I wasn't sure if I should tell her. I didn't want her to look down on Echo or anything...
"She cuts herself," I whispered. Grandma's eyes got even bigger, which I didn't know was possible, and her jaw dropped.
"Oh my...! Why? Is she alright? When is she coming back?"
"I don't know. Her parents... They're mean to her and her brother.." I stopped. Her brother. Ace. He was início alone with his alcoholic parents. "I gotta go," I said suddenly, bursting out the door. I ran to Echo's house, which was four blocks away. I'd been there only once; and I hadn't gone inside. Echo made it clear she didn't want her parents near me. I didn't blame her.
I went up to the porch, and rang the doorbell.
"Ace! Get the fucking door!" I heard a voice shout. It was slurred a little bit, and sounded tired. I tried to take deep breaths to catch my breath, and calm myself down. A couple minutos later, Ace opened the door. His face was wet with tears, and he had a black eye already. He frowned when he saw me, and started to cry. He ran to me, and wrapped his legs around my legs and sobbed.
"Are you ok?" I asked. It was a stupid question, but I asked it anyways.
"I want Echo," he cried.
"I know you do," I sighed. "I don't know when she's coming back yet, though." There was a crash from inside. "Would they notice if you weren't here?" I asked. He wiped his nose on his sleeve and shook his head. "You can stay at my house until she gets back, ok?"
"Thank you," he said in a tiny voice. I sent him inside to go get his pajamas, and backpack and anything else he'd need. I knew I had to wait outside, but it scared the crap out of me. What if they hurt him? What if they saw him try to leave? I started to panic when ten minutos passed, but then he came out, dragging a bag behind him. I took it from him and swung it over my shoulder, then picked him up. He was so light; did they ever feed him? He wrapped his arms and legs around me as I carried him back home.
Grandma was perfectly fine with having Ace stay over for a while. He kind of reminded me of a younger Demetri. It made my coração ache. Usually he was just a pain in the ass. But now that I thought about it, he wasn't half bad.
Ace fell asleep on the couch, and I slept on the floor that night. I couldn't stop thinking about Demetri then, and my sisters. And Franklin. And Mother.
And Father.
When I thought of him, rage boiled under my skin. I just wanted to soco something or scream, just to get out all my anger. He was the worst man I'd ever met... and I've met a lot of assholes. Right now, I was not afraid to say this, or ashamed; I hate my Father.
But I caught myself, and thought. If he wasn't the way he was, I'd never have left. I wouldn't know Grandma, one of the nicest people I've ever met. I wouldn't know Echo or Ace. I wouldn't even have met Foster, which was nice while it had lasted.
If my father wasn't such a jerk, my life wouldn't be the way it is now. And I like it this way. I like it much better than the way it was before.
I guess I was kind of thankful for my evil father.
But I had other things to worry about.
One dia at school, Echo wasn't there. I wouldn't have been so worried, if people weren't freaking out about it. I kept hearing Echo's name said in the hallways, along with "did you hear?" The teachers in some classes even told kids to stop talking about it; it was none of their business. But it was mine. She was my best friend, and I didn't even know what happened to her.
So before lunch, I went up to some aleatório kid. I think his name was Asher.
"Hey, do you know what happened to Echo?" I asked, He stared at me for a moment, then nodded. He looked around, then spoke in a quiet voice.
"She got sent to rehab for her cutting," he whispered. My coração sank into my stomach. Everything got blurry, and I felt myself sway a little bit. "Cosette?" I heard him say, but it sounded very far off. I blinked, and tried to refocus.
The seguinte thing I knew, I was over por the drinking fountain, sitting up against the wall. My head was spinning, but I could hear someone seguinte to me. Then I hand came in front of my face, holding a cup.
"Drink this," a voice said. I flinched a little bit, and looked up to see Asher. I took the cup from his hand and took a sip. It was water. I set it down on the ground, and held my head in my hands. "How're you feeling?" Asher asked.
"What happened," I muttered. My head was still spinning, and things were vaguely clear. Echo was in rehab? How'd they find out?
"Well, you didn't look so good, so I brought you here. You passed out for a couple segundos on the way."
"That's not what I meant," I sighed.
"Oh," he said. "Um, I don't really know. There were always rumors, but I guess the counselor decided to check into it. They dragged her off yesterday evening."
"Oh no..." I whimpered. There was an awkward silence.
"So... You knew?" he asked. My face flushed.
"Yes," I sighed. He was quiet again.
"Well... It's not your fault... Just so y'know," he said softly. "I gotta go. Maybe I'll see you around?" I ignored him. I was too mad at myself. I don't know why. He patted my head gently before leaving, like I was a little kid or something.
***
I slammed the door shut, as I came in. Grandma jumped in her seat, surprised. I was sorry I'd scared her, but I was still too angry to apologize.
"Cosette, Dear, what's wrong?" she asked.
"It's Echo," I said.
"What? What's wrong? Did you two have a fight?"
"No, she's... She's gone."
"What do you mean?" she asked, astonished.
"She's..." I didn't know what to say. I sighed. "She's in rehab." Grandma's eyes widened.
"May I ask why?" she asked politely. I bit my lip. I wasn't sure if I should tell her. I didn't want her to look down on Echo or anything...
"She cuts herself," I whispered. Grandma's eyes got even bigger, which I didn't know was possible, and her jaw dropped.
"Oh my...! Why? Is she alright? When is she coming back?"
"I don't know. Her parents... They're mean to her and her brother.." I stopped. Her brother. Ace. He was início alone with his alcoholic parents. "I gotta go," I said suddenly, bursting out the door. I ran to Echo's house, which was four blocks away. I'd been there only once; and I hadn't gone inside. Echo made it clear she didn't want her parents near me. I didn't blame her.
I went up to the porch, and rang the doorbell.
"Ace! Get the fucking door!" I heard a voice shout. It was slurred a little bit, and sounded tired. I tried to take deep breaths to catch my breath, and calm myself down. A couple minutos later, Ace opened the door. His face was wet with tears, and he had a black eye already. He frowned when he saw me, and started to cry. He ran to me, and wrapped his legs around my legs and sobbed.
"Are you ok?" I asked. It was a stupid question, but I asked it anyways.
"I want Echo," he cried.
"I know you do," I sighed. "I don't know when she's coming back yet, though." There was a crash from inside. "Would they notice if you weren't here?" I asked. He wiped his nose on his sleeve and shook his head. "You can stay at my house until she gets back, ok?"
"Thank you," he said in a tiny voice. I sent him inside to go get his pajamas, and backpack and anything else he'd need. I knew I had to wait outside, but it scared the crap out of me. What if they hurt him? What if they saw him try to leave? I started to panic when ten minutos passed, but then he came out, dragging a bag behind him. I took it from him and swung it over my shoulder, then picked him up. He was so light; did they ever feed him? He wrapped his arms and legs around me as I carried him back home.
Grandma was perfectly fine with having Ace stay over for a while. He kind of reminded me of a younger Demetri. It made my coração ache. Usually he was just a pain in the ass. But now that I thought about it, he wasn't half bad.
Ace fell asleep on the couch, and I slept on the floor that night. I couldn't stop thinking about Demetri then, and my sisters. And Franklin. And Mother.
And Father.
When I thought of him, rage boiled under my skin. I just wanted to soco something or scream, just to get out all my anger. He was the worst man I'd ever met... and I've met a lot of assholes. Right now, I was not afraid to say this, or ashamed; I hate my Father.
But I caught myself, and thought. If he wasn't the way he was, I'd never have left. I wouldn't know Grandma, one of the nicest people I've ever met. I wouldn't know Echo or Ace. I wouldn't even have met Foster, which was nice while it had lasted.
If my father wasn't such a jerk, my life wouldn't be the way it is now. And I like it this way. I like it much better than the way it was before.
I guess I was kind of thankful for my evil father.
Dear record of my misfortune I was correct. Today I walked into class and saw a huge pile of letters on my desk. When I opened them I realized that it was hate mail. It was so stupid, people were getting angry at me for what I did to Jessica when it was her fault! They were saying things like : Die emo cadela, puta die, bitchy whore. That last comment doesn't even apply to me! I haven't even had my first kiss and they are saying this stuff to me! There was one letter that was bot mean even though I don't know who sent it. Inside it said rosas are red violets are blue I don't now why they hurt you, if you want I'll tell them to can it, all because I amor you Janet. I don't know who wrote you amor poem rhyme thing but I amor you too!
Is It True You Lie?
Is It True You Hate Me?
Is It True You Want Him?
Is It True You're My Best Friend?
Is It True You Enjoy Hurting Me?
Is It True You Like Me Crying?
Is It True You Talk Behind My Back?
Is It True You Tell People Our Bussiness?
Is It True I Hurt You?
Is It True You Back Stabbed Me?
Is It True You Let Me Believe The Lies?
Is It True You Let Me Call You My True Bestfriend When You Weren't?
Is It True.....?
This is A Poem Hope Yuh Enjoy It Btw Tell Me What Yuh Think And This Is Just About Me Gettin Hurt After Being Stupid Enough To Believe Her Lies She Wasnt A True Bestfriend
Is It True You Hate Me?
Is It True You Want Him?
Is It True You're My Best Friend?
Is It True You Enjoy Hurting Me?
Is It True You Like Me Crying?
Is It True You Talk Behind My Back?
Is It True You Tell People Our Bussiness?
Is It True I Hurt You?
Is It True You Back Stabbed Me?
Is It True You Let Me Believe The Lies?
Is It True You Let Me Call You My True Bestfriend When You Weren't?
Is It True.....?
This is A Poem Hope Yuh Enjoy It Btw Tell Me What Yuh Think And This Is Just About Me Gettin Hurt After Being Stupid Enough To Believe Her Lies She Wasnt A True Bestfriend
Her eyes were fogo red,
as if they were
lit from anger.
I dont understand
why you are
mad at me.
Why you shoot
those harsh words
at me.
Aimed like bullets,
piercing my soul.
And It cant heal.
I never can dodge them.
The words hit me,
and I fall back.
My friends ask me:
"What's wrong?"
"Can I help?"
But they cant help.
Because I dont understand,
why you are mad.
Why do you have to do
what you do to me?
Why does it give you
joy to harm me?
Why?
Why are people bullies?
Why dont my friends take action?
Why cant you tell me WHY?
as if they were
lit from anger.
I dont understand
why you are
mad at me.
Why you shoot
those harsh words
at me.
Aimed like bullets,
piercing my soul.
And It cant heal.
I never can dodge them.
The words hit me,
and I fall back.
My friends ask me:
"What's wrong?"
"Can I help?"
But they cant help.
Because I dont understand,
why you are mad.
Why do you have to do
what you do to me?
Why does it give you
joy to harm me?
Why?
Why are people bullies?
Why dont my friends take action?
Why cant you tell me WHY?
Streetlamps, houses, gates, remotes, books, CDs and televisions. Brothers. Pairs. Each has a twin. In this chaotic place of materials the world has come to be, everything has a brother. But brothers are family. And family is connected somehow; if not por blood, then por what?
Energy.
Look hard. At everything that has a brother. A line of energy casts a connection between the two. The energy, with its harsh glares and cold looks creates the strongest and most complex bonds. Strong because of their brotherhood. Complex because of its invisibility. For there is power in invisibility. Cold, cruel power. The power to be a persecutor with no chance of being a victim. The power to twist and squeeze but not feel the wrenching pain of your twists.
Now, you ask, what is left? Cruel, invisible energy. For a cruel, invisible world.
This is my first time composição literária in stream of consciousness. I know it's short but don't judge me too harshly.
Energy.
Look hard. At everything that has a brother. A line of energy casts a connection between the two. The energy, with its harsh glares and cold looks creates the strongest and most complex bonds. Strong because of their brotherhood. Complex because of its invisibility. For there is power in invisibility. Cold, cruel power. The power to be a persecutor with no chance of being a victim. The power to twist and squeeze but not feel the wrenching pain of your twists.
Now, you ask, what is left? Cruel, invisible energy. For a cruel, invisible world.
This is my first time composição literária in stream of consciousness. I know it's short but don't judge me too harshly.