Why He’s Hot:
1. Pattinson is responsible for the whole “men as vampiros are hot”, epidemic. For him, you’re a total fiction loving dweeb.
2. He is the epitome of a bad boy. He doesn’t try to have a fuck the world attitude, he just does. He’s far from charming and you amor him for that. Why? Well because bad boys can work their magic stick better than nice boys. Nice boys need instruction, not Robert. You see Robert is instructing you and you’re loving every minuto of it.
3. He’s from the UK and that in itself is hot. He has an accent and will invite you over for crumpets and tea. What the fuck are crumpets? Who cares! You’ll scarf them down and pretend it was the best experience of your life just for a moment alone with Robert.
4. He sings! Go figure the stud on legs has talent (or what he believes is talent but sounds mais like a mediocre version of the Dave Mathews Band). You can’t understand what he says but who the hell cares. I don’t. Oh, sing me a sweet babble-esque lullaby Robert. You sound lovely.
5. He has admitted to hating taking showers. Ladies let’s be honest, if a guy told you that you’d probably run away while simultaneously throwing up in your mouth but this is Robert Pattinson we’re talking about.
You can always trick him into playing erotic games in the shower. Problem solved!
link
1. Pattinson is responsible for the whole “men as vampiros are hot”, epidemic. For him, you’re a total fiction loving dweeb.
2. He is the epitome of a bad boy. He doesn’t try to have a fuck the world attitude, he just does. He’s far from charming and you amor him for that. Why? Well because bad boys can work their magic stick better than nice boys. Nice boys need instruction, not Robert. You see Robert is instructing you and you’re loving every minuto of it.
3. He’s from the UK and that in itself is hot. He has an accent and will invite you over for crumpets and tea. What the fuck are crumpets? Who cares! You’ll scarf them down and pretend it was the best experience of your life just for a moment alone with Robert.
4. He sings! Go figure the stud on legs has talent (or what he believes is talent but sounds mais like a mediocre version of the Dave Mathews Band). You can’t understand what he says but who the hell cares. I don’t. Oh, sing me a sweet babble-esque lullaby Robert. You sound lovely.
5. He has admitted to hating taking showers. Ladies let’s be honest, if a guy told you that you’d probably run away while simultaneously throwing up in your mouth but this is Robert Pattinson we’re talking about.
You can always trick him into playing erotic games in the shower. Problem solved!
link
10. Tell him only to address you in a cute English accent.
9. Call him Carlisle, but be sure to pronounce the “s”. When he corrects you, give him a weird look and tell him the “q” is silent.
8. Ask if blondes really do have mais fun.
7. Inquire as to what he actually does on his night shift on the hospital, with all the pretty nurses in the ER.
6. Instead of telling him to “get lost” in an argument, tell him to swim to France.
5. When he annoys you, respond with “times have changed, old man”.
4. Ask what type of superhuman power compassion is – what does he do in a fight? amor thy enemy to death?
3. Leap out from behind the escrivaninha, mesa in his study when he isn’t expecting it and spray him with Holy Water.
2. Call him McSteamy or McDreamy.
And the Number One way to annoy Carlisle Cullen?
1. Run around the Emergency Room screaming “I’ve been bitten! I’ve been bitten!”
9. Call him Carlisle, but be sure to pronounce the “s”. When he corrects you, give him a weird look and tell him the “q” is silent.
8. Ask if blondes really do have mais fun.
7. Inquire as to what he actually does on his night shift on the hospital, with all the pretty nurses in the ER.
6. Instead of telling him to “get lost” in an argument, tell him to swim to France.
5. When he annoys you, respond with “times have changed, old man”.
4. Ask what type of superhuman power compassion is – what does he do in a fight? amor thy enemy to death?
3. Leap out from behind the escrivaninha, mesa in his study when he isn’t expecting it and spray him with Holy Water.
2. Call him McSteamy or McDreamy.
And the Number One way to annoy Carlisle Cullen?
1. Run around the Emergency Room screaming “I’ve been bitten! I’ve been bitten!”