True Writers Article: The Inevitable Fate----part 1-------chapter 1

4

The Inevitable Fate----part 1-------chapter 1

posted by rory2011

chapter (1)

it's raining outsaid ,david finished his work early today ,he took his sons from school and brought them back início
mary was daivd's wife and the mother of four children (kiven,poul, jack and kat ),when david and his sons entered the house mary was surprised seeing them in the house in that time
"you're early today "mary said
"yea ,mary can I talk to you in the cozinha ?"david asked
"yea ,sure"mary said

mary and david sit on the sofa that their little where daughter sleep at night
"ok I don't know how to tell you this ,but we should mover "david said
"move to where ? and why? "mary asked
"this place is no longer our home" david said
"you lost your job today right ?"mary asked
"no ,it's not about the job ,it's your father" david said
"david my father can't do anything ,he's not even my real father , he intimidated you that doesn't mean he's dangerous "mary said
"no ,listen your father want to..." david and mary conversation cutted por ringing the bills door
"oh my god ,they're here "david said

poul opened the door ,it was his grandfather with tow strange men
"is your father in início kid?"george (the grandfather ) said
"yes ,he's in the cozinha "poul answered
"then let me see him please" george said
"ok"poul said

when george entered the cozinha with those strange men david was very angry ,he was looking in george's face but george was smilling and standing afront of him
"so did you tell her? "george asked
"tell me what?" mary asked
"I was going to tell her" david answered
"tell me what ?,will somebody please explain what's going here ?" mary said
"I'll help your husband with make mais money por make this family lower "george said
"so you'll take our kids ?" mary asked
"no I don't want your kids ,your pathetic husband can't make money and he can't take this family expenditure ,so your life is useless ,If we killed you your husband can save mais money "george said
"but that's so overstated "mary said
"listen to me woman ,you're living in our money and we who decide who will live and who will die ,so you have tow choice ,you can save your family and die or you can die with your kids ,your husband will watching you with the kids when you'll all die and we will let him live to make mais money for us ,and you can't run away ,we have many men watching you "one of the men said
"you son of a..."mary cutted what david will say "I'll do it alone " mary said
"mary...no please no "david said
"ok we will take you after two weeks "the man said while he moving to the door

"are you out of you mind mary "david said
"we have no choice david " mary said
"I can save you "david said"
"if you saved me we will lose the kids ,it's ok daivd you did your best "said mary sad
"so you guys will still here or what "jack said
"we're here hunny ,ok act normal for the kids "mary said
"ok"david said

the days ran fast ,five days left for mary ,she was sitting with her kids everyday ,talking and playing with them to forget that she will leave them after five days ,her dream was watching her children growing up but unfortunately she can't be with them
mary's sons were sleeping in one small room cause the house is very old and small ,mary knocked the door before she went to sleep ,keivin opened the door ,"mom is there something wrong?" kevin asked
"can I talk to you inside ?" mary asked
"sure ,get in" kevin answered
mary sat down on kevin's cama ,"how old are you kevin ?" mary asked
"I'm almost 15 ,why ?" kevin answered
"you're a man now kevin ,you have to look out for your younger brothers and your little sister ,I want you to help your father "mary said
"yea of curse ,but why are you telling me this ?" kevin asked
"cause someday I won't be able to take care of all of you ,I just want you to understand that I'll be with you even if I'm not beside you ,I just want you to remember this " mary said wiping on kevin's hair
"don't worry mom "kevin said
"I know" mary said ,mary walking toward the door "good night hunny"said mary befor she closed the door
david heard what mary and kevin were talking about ,he can't take his life anymore ,he's almost losing his wife and he lost his job today but he doesn't want to tell mary
"mary ,please don't be emotional in the last hours "david said
"I know I just.... can't "mary said crying
"I know it even harder for me but we can't do anything now ,I saw three men with armas looking at our house they were sitting in the empty building that near us "david said
"yea I know ,I just want to tell you something and please promise me to do what I'll say " mary said
"I'll do anything ,what you want ?" david asked
"don't let this happened to kat too in the future and don't tell her that I'm dead tell she been in school "
"mary what are you talking about do you think I'll do the same thing that your father did to you ?" david asked
"no ,I just think that she's just three years old girl but you don't talk to her or play with her just like when our sons were in her age ,don't hate her cause she's a girl and we are poor " mary said
"are you kidding me mary ,do I sound like a girls hater ? " david asked
"no ,I'm sorry I just... feel very angry ,I'm sorry I don't want to fight with you in my last days " mary said
"it's ok ,I think you should take some rest now "david said
"ok "mary said

ITF, sadiebugz00 and 2 others like this

alicia386 Aww sad and very interesting. i have to say it really seems like a great book to read.

Zero_Delta Interesting that the father wants to eliminate Mary because of David not making any money...And I'm not trying to be rude, but I think you should go back and fix the capitalization. Otherwise I think it's good.

rory2011 no ,not just because of her husband can't make money ,cause mary's father can't take enough money from david because of the family expenditure ,and it's also a tradition ,fathers have to choose if they want their daughters to live more or not and george hate his daughter so of course he will choose her to die the money thing is just an excuse for goerge to kill mary

SweetHoneyBunny It's a good story so far and I hope to read more soon. To point out two things, remember to check your spelling and your capitalization. Other then that, it's really good. Keep up the good work.

1

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I amor seeing your comments so please keep them comein. ;)

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flippy

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posted by Problematic129

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2

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SLOTH

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posted by malmcd

Millions of Miles Apart

From the moment your born somewhere out there you have a true love. At less that’s what they say? They say there’s one person who has the same coração strings as you and they complete you. And there’s nothing that can keep you apart from one another...But what if my one true amor isn’t here? I mean what if I never find him or her if that’s the case which I hope it’s not. I don’t know what to say but I’m different from the rest...What if there’s no one out there for me?
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posted by CapShunsuifan13

His eyes fluttered open, and his muscles automatically tensed. For a segundo he was back in Afghanistan, alone, without his comrades, falling asleep unguarded behind enemy lines. He noticed how his arms were, like they had been holding someone, someone who is no longer there. Gemma.... The thought entered his head like a speeding bullet. The fact that she wasn't there made him think that she had never been, that he wasn't really home, and that he imagined the whole thing. But one look around the room, his eyes adjusting to the moonlight, he could tell he was in the club house. He really was...

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4

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posted by Dhampires

I shook in fear as I felt him hovering over me it scard me out of skin I could already feel his hits coming. As leaned over me I heard angry load foot steps stomping their way towards us. My eyes were closed tight but snapped open when I heard his out burst.

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2

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posted by alicia386

Action: Spy Fiction

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