"You will always be able to tell when you are different; when you are the one that everyone is staring at; when you are the one that everyone runs in fear from or stares at in disgust as you pass them by; when you are the runt out of the litter; when you are the broken and cracked tile in a tile floor; when you are the dead árvore in the center of the lively forest; when you are the odd one out from the ordinary.

It's a feeling that will creep upon you without a warning. A feeling of difference. A painful feeling. A sharp blow to wake your psyche from its peaceful slumber; a blow that can crush or cripple a person and their emotions. You feel distant; you feel as if you are a ovelha, ovelhas lost from its herd; you feel like a ship lost at sea. You feel like you are drifting further and further away from the world; you feel like you are drowning, and you feel as though everyone would turn away rather than throw a life ring to you, or even dive in to save you. You feel like you are the darkness hidden in the corner in a room filled with glistening lights.

For myself, I have very different thoughts. I feel like a cold-blooded animal amongst warm-bloods. I may look the same as the seguinte man, but on the inside, I feel like I am burning. You see the world through a glass window, just as bright and as clean as it could possibly be; pure and full of hope. All I see when I look through that window is stained, cracked glass, tainted por my place in this world and my warring emotional insides. You are looking in on the world through that pure window, watching in delight and happiness as people come to you with a smile; I watch through my window as people turn their backs and walk away. I feel like I cannot see myself; I feel as though I do not see myself. Oh no, I only see a worn man with tears staining his face in the large crack that runs down the middle of the window; I do not see the world, I only see my broken spirit.

I do not feel like I am of your world. I do not feel like I have a place in your world. I only feel like I have the ugly feelings that tether me to reality; who I really am in the flesh. If I were to step into your mirror, or if I were to step into your crystal-clear lake so full of life, I would merely pollute the limpid water and it would become tainted... Just like my body. Just like my species. Just like my mind. Just like my uncontrollable 'bloodlust', as you call it.

Sometimes I need the danger. I need the danger just to know that my coração can beat. I feel numb sometimes; numb as in I do not feel as though my body is truly working anymore. Feeling my coração beat pulsing is one of the only things that reminds me that I am not numb and that I am still a living person and not the... monster that you believe me to be; the monster that you claim for me to be. Seeing my blood flow is another way that I know I am living, though my blood is just as cold and as clear as ice instead of the dark, warm crimson red that resides in a normal person. If you examine me or were to take me apart, will you find the differences? Or will you ignore the differences and call me person who fits in with the rest of the crowd?

I can see right through you as if you were an ice sculpture, so pure and clear. However, can you see through me? Am I a clear ice to you, am I a blank canvas yet to be touched, or am I a cracked window soiled with years of dirt and grime that prevents you from seeing into me? Take your pick, choose wisely your response. It will either amuse me or damage me, mind you.

I think of myself in these ways from dia to day, especially when I am amongst the 'normal'. However, I smile, and I laugh, and I play. I know who I am and I know what I am, even if I do not feel like I do at times. I am but a speck of shadow in a room of light, waiting for my turn to have my time to shine. I am a broken, dirtied mirror placed in a tarnished gold frame that needs to be cleaned; I do not want to be replaced or repaired, only cleaned. I simply want to be cleaned and placed upon the mural with the other, pure mirrors, even if it costs me standing out. I just want to be able to be in the crowd without being rejected. Why will you not place me with the others? Why do you hide me away in a storage closet? Am I simply 'not good enough' for you? If that is what you think, then let me ask you this... Why do you think I exist, and why do you think you exist? We are equals, no matter what you say. We are living people who need amor and attention to feel like we fit in. If you gain your acceptance, then where is mine? It matters not how long I wait, I will be accepted some day, some where, some time... and one dia I will shine. One dia I will be the most respected piece in the gallery; one dia I will be amongst the famous and priceless. I am not a mistake; I am a pure diamond hidden in the ashes and soot. People may look over me, thinking that I am only coal on the outside, but on the inside, I am a diamond hidden in the rough.

Tell me, what is wrong with the odd one? Do you not consider the odd one a person? Even if they are mais kind and considering that you are? If you are one who is stuck up, you may sit upon your rich throne, thinking you are high and mighty, but what will you do when the 'odd' comes in and is mais caring than you are? Will you immediately cease calling them a person just because you think they are strange without looking at what good they have done? If so, then you are mais of a monster than I could ever be.

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For all of you out there who feel like you are lost in the shadows, what are you doing? Are you simply staying in the shadows and letting yourself feel like you are different and not of this world such as I have? Or do you look for the light while you are lost in the darkness like I have as well? If you can not find the light to make you feel better, you make the light. Let your family and those dear to you be your fuel, and let you accepting your differences and who you are be the spark that lights the flame.

I said I felt as though I was the cold-blood amongst the warm-bloods. I said I feel as though I am staring through a broken and tainted glass. I said I do not feel as though I am from your world; I said I felt that I didn't fit in with the people in your own little world. I said that if I were to step into your crystal lake, I would pollute the limpid water; but let me ask you this, is your lake crystal in reality, or is it idealized in your own mind and fake reality; would I be polluting it or bringing you back to reality? I also said that sometimes I felt numb and I needed the danger to feel my coração beat. What do you think I meant honestly por that? Did I mean that I felt disconnected from the world and needed to feel like a person, or did I mean that I want to feel the danger to make me feel alive like a person? Hm.

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All the outcasts. All the odd people. All the frowned and look down upon. I can see you, and I can hear you. You are not invisible to me, just like how you are not invisible to the world; you may only think that not a living soul pays attention to you as you cry yourself to sleep. You may feel stuck on the outside; thinking that you are damaged and broken beyond repair. You know what? You are not so far that someone cannot reach you. You are not so far that someone cannot embrulho, envoltório you in their embrace and tell you everything is okay. Can you believe me? Can you trust me when I tell you that everything you see about yourself is not what I see? You have my attention; there's no need to hurt and pain yourself for attention. Let the prejudice or judging people be the beautiful lights in the city; we shall rise above them as bright, beautiful neon signs in a night sky, and those who accept us and amor us for who we are shall rise above with us. You are special, no matter what you think you are. If someone tells you that you are a cursed or evil species, prove them wrong por proving that you are a beautiful diamond while they are simply a tarnished piece of gold. If someone tells you that you are a nerd or a geek, show them that you might just be the scientist who makes the cure that cures the plague. Let all of the outcasts fly with me and come to a place where we can be diverse and appreciate each other without putting each other down; even if this world exists only in our minds, we will find a way to be who we are without fears of being struck down.

Your smallest whisper... I can hear it. Let your voice be heard. Be who you are, not what the world expects you to be. You do not think you are good enough to the world to anyone in the world? Nonsense, you are a bright diamond in my eyes. You are a treasure, a perfect one at that. You may have had a rough ride, but do not let that change who you are, and who you are is a unique individual. You are mais than just a face, mais than just a name, and mais than just the hurtful labels that the hypocrites around you might give. You are more, you are a beauty. You are a treasure, and you are NOT alone.

Take it from me, a man who has faired many reactions and various treatments due to who I am. You are a unique person and you do not deserve to have the dirt and grime of the world thrown upon your delicate frame that holds you. Is your frame old, tarnished, polished, new, or anything else? It does not matter; you are as equal as the others around you.

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The Hatred and Evil was as blacken as coal. The Uncertainty was sandy and unclear. The Happiness golden. The Isolation was a lonely blue. The Sole Lie was as clear and as see-through as a white ice. The Socialness was a perky orange. The Laughter was a radiating green. The Serious brought a gloomy shade of grey. Above all, the Mixture of Good and Bad traits was a clear prism that cast all the as cores of a beautiful arco iris, arco-íris and a shadowy gloom; the one holding the prism decided which as cores they wanted to cast. Which one are you?

In the end, are we not all a stained glass portrait? We are either made in bright, happy as cores with a beautiful picture, or we are a gloomy, dark picture with dark and depressing colors. Or, no, wait. Perhaps we are all works in progress, just waiting to bloom and reveal who were truly are inside."




~Alric Maximilian Faust