WHAT!?

lmao! Just got this 5 minutos ago. Enjoy!

God works in mysterious ways

A woman and a man are involved in a car accident on a snowy, cold Monday morning; it's a bad one. Both of their cars are totally demolished, but amazingly neither of them are hurt.

After they crawl out of their cars, the man is yelling about women drivers.

The woman says, 'So, you're a man. That's interesting. I'm a woman. Wow, just look at our cars! There's nothing left, but we're unhurt. This must be a sign from God that we should be friends and live in peace for the rest of our days'.

Flattered, the man replies, 'Oh yes,...

Everybody I know who has a dog usually calls him "Rover" or "Spot". I call mine Sex. Now, Sex has been very embarrassing to me. When I went to the City Hall to renew the dog's license, I told the clerk that I would like a license for Sex. He said, "I would like to have one too!" Then I said, "But she is a dog!" He said he didn't care what she looked like. I said, "You don't understand. ... I have had Sex since I was nine years old." He replied, "You must have been quite a strong boy." When I decided to get married, I told the minister that I would like to have Sex at the wedding. He told me...

I was bored =/ I tried to put just the people that I see around most as opposed to people that only pop in every now and then so if I didn’t put you in it, I’m sorry

LPers, BLers gather here
And maybe we all could use a beer
But let’s make one thing very clear
Stalkers and shit talkers get kicked to the rear
Pinjas are the one thing you should fear
You’ll cry and your make-up will smear
Might want to look in the mirror before you decide to judge, my dear
Newbies come and newbies go but in the end we laugh cause you’re all queer
Just remember your not all welcome near
The epicness that...