Happy birthday Dawn ♥

When I was born, I was given a choice - A big dick or a good memory. I don't remember, what I chose.

Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory.

A wife is a sex object. Every time you ask for sex, she objects.

Impotence: Nature's way of saying 'No hard feelings...'

There are only two four letter words that are offensive to men - 'don't' and 'stop', unless they are used together.

Panties: Not the best thing on earth, but seguinte to the best thing on earth.

There are three stages of sex in a man's life: Tri Weekly, Try Weekly, and Try Weakly.

Virginity can be cured.

Virginity is...

So this ano happens to be over in 11 hours and 32 minutes. And because of that I thought I could write a little something about each one of you :]

Nate
The king. The king of randomness to be honest. He's just awesome and I have no idea what I (and the other pinjas) would have done without him. He must be some sort of a saint. He got the Leytoners and the Brucasers to become friends after such a long time fighting. That I respect him for. Also his pervert-ness is not to be wrong of. Even though it's kind of creepy, it's hilarious. Him and Tool together.. No needs to say mais :] Nate. You're an...

CHAPTER TWO.

Cherry cereja boom boom
Mary: HANNAH! COME HERE NOW!
H: What the HELL?
Mary: Did you buy sorvete again? You know I hate it.
H: First off, its taste is MANGO. Epic.
Mary: Yeah right.
H: And secondly, you are a complete retard for not liking sorvete so shut up.
Mary: But there’s no room in the fridge for my vegetables.
DING DONG. Hannah runs to open, glad that she was saved from the “fight”.
Cat: oi my girl.
H: oi Kitty.
Mary: Who is it?
H: It’s Cat. She brought us some ice-cream.
Mary: You have got to be kidding me. Mangos and sorvete are FORBIDDEN in here.
G: WHY ARE YOU...

Happy sweet sixteen my Ballah!:D
You better have a terrific day, and an amazing ano ahead of you, cause you deserve it!♥

Hannah! You have this unique, amazing, incredible and loveable personality which you just can't miss! You make the room (forum) look at you when you step in, and you somehow make me smile even though i'm having a real shitty day! And I don't think I have to tell you about your world known (fanpop-known) cheating skils! PCBR (pathetic cheating bebês rules) says it all!;P
You will always be my teacher/master/mentor (you choose), and I always enjoy cheating with you! Cheating...

Tis is BS -_-

To My Dearest Wife,

During the past year, I have attempted to make amor to you 365 times. I have succeeded 36 times, which is an average of only once every 10 days. The following is a list of why I didn't succeed mais often:

We will wake the kids - 54 times

It's too late - 15 times

I'm too tired - 42 times

It's too early - 12 times

It's too hot - 18 times

Pretending to be asleep - 31 times

The neighbors will hear - 9 times

Headache or backache - 26 times

Sunburn - 10 times

Your mother will hear us - 9 times

Not in the mood - 21 times

Watching the late show - 17 times

Too sore - 26 times

New hairdo...

Just goes to show how differently men and women look at things...

HER DIARY

Saturday night I thought he was atuação weird. We had made plans to meet at a bar to have a drink. I was shopping with my friends all dia long, so I thought he was upset at the fact that I was a bit late, but he made no comment. Conversation wasn't flowing so I suggested that we go somewhere quiet so we could talk. He agreed but he kept quiet and absent. I asked him what was wrong he said nothing. I asked him if it was my fault that he was upset. He said it had nothing to do with me and not to worry. On the way início I...