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posted by Seanthehedgehog
Everypony down in Ponyville liked natal a lot
But Gilda who lived just north of Ponyville did not
Gilda hated natal the whole natal season
Now please don't ask why no one quite knows the reason

It could be that her shoes were on too tight
It could be that her head wasn't screwed on just right
But I think that the most likely reason of them all
Was that her coração was two sizes too small

But whatever the reason her coração or her shoes
She just stared at Ponyville hating the ponies
Staring down from her cave with her claws nervously tapping
For tomorrow she knew that all the ponies were preparing for the holiday

"And they're hanging their stockings." She snarled with anger, "Tomorrow is christmas. It's practically here." Then she looked at her dog Max that just arrived. "I must find someway to stop natal from coming, for tomrrow I know all the colts, and fillies will be playing, and making a lot of noise noise noise. That's one thing I hate, all the noise noise noise noise noise. Their round shaped wheels on their model trains will clickety clack on the track. There will be teenage ponies rocking, and rolling, and there will be a lot of ponies playing annoying games....

She's saying a lot at once, huh?

.....Then after all the ponies are done playing with their games, and toys, and instruments they'll sit down and have a feast. And they'll feast, and they'll feast feast feast. They'll feast on pudding, and roast beaf. How I hate when they do that. Then, they'll do something I hate most of all. Everypony down in ponyville with gather around townhall with natal bells ringing, and then they will begin to sing. And they'll sing, and they'll sing, and they'll sing sing sing."

And the mais Gilda thought about it, she said, "I must stop this whole thing. Why I've had to put up with it ever since I was born. I must stop natal from coming, but how?" Then she got an idea. An awful idea. Gilda got a wonderfully awful idea. "I know just what to do," She said. "I'll make a quick santa claus hat, and coat." Then she began to chuckle, "What a great trick. With this hat, and this coat, I'll look just like St. Nick."

You're a mean one Ms. Gilda
You really are a heel
You're as cuddly as a cactus
You're as charming as an eel
Ms. Gilda
You're a bad banana with a greasy black peel

You're a monster Ms. Gilda
Your Hearts an empty hole
Your brain is full of spiders
You've got garlic in your soul Ms. Gilda
I wouldn't touch you with a
39 and a half Foot pole

"All I need is a reindeer." Gilda said. But since reindeer were scarce, there were none to be found. But did that stop Gilda? No. She simply said, "If I can't find a reindeer, I'll make one instead."

So she whistled for her dog Max, and tied a horn onto his head with some black thread. Then Gilda loaded up some bags on a sleigh. Then she whistle for Max.

Max arrived being very excited, but Gilda was not amused. She hitched Max to the sleigh, grabbed her whip, and she said "Giddap." Then they started for the trip down to Ponyville where the ponies lay asleep in their beds.

Song: link

The sleigh slowly moved with a very angry Gilda staring at Max. Max knew he had to run, so he did. He ran as fast as he could, but unfortunately it was not enough.The sleigh was going faster then him, and it started to pull him down the hill.

Gilda was too angry to notice, but she looked at the rope. It was under the sleigh, and behind was Max. Gilda just grabbed Max, and threw him back to the front of the sleigh so he could pull it. Just when she did that, the sleigh went airborne, and landed on another mountain.

Max was back to pulling the sleigh, and took a sharp left turn, causing a few bags to fall off. After that, things seemed to be going well, but then they went up a 180 degree angle hill, and they were airborne again.

Gilda, and Max stared at each other for a long time, and they noticed they were going to fall. Thankfully they landed safely, but Max was holding onto Gilda's face very tightly.

Gilda had to get Max off her, and that's what she did. She once again threw the frightened dog to the front of the sleigh, and Max pulled it all the way to Ponyville without anymore trouble.

All their windows were dark, no one knew they were there. All the ponies were still asleep, when she came to the first house on the square.

"This is stop number one." Gilda claus hissed. Then she went up the ladder to the roof of the house.

Then she slid down the chimney which seemed hard, but if Santa could do it so could Gilda. She got stuck only once for a moment or two. Then she stuck her head out of the fireplace, and observed the house. "These stockings," She said, "Are the first thing to go."

After she roubou the stocking, she slithered towards the natal tree, and took everything. Popguns, boardgames, Grand Theft Auto 5, The Great Escape with Steve McQueen on Bluray. Then she stuffed all the presents into a bag, and threw them one por one up the chimney.

You're a vile one Ms. Gilda
You have termites in your smile
You have all the tender sweetness of a seasick crocodile
Ms. Gilda
Given the choice between the two of you
I'd take the a seasick crocodile

You're a foul one Ms. Gilda
With a nauseous super naus
You're a crooked jerky jockey and,
you drive a crooked horse
Ms. Gilda
You're a 3 Decker azedar, azedo kraut and toad tamborete, fezes sandwich
With arsenic sauce!

Gilda decided to go to the bed, where all the colts, and fillies were sleeping. She took their doces canes, and ran off. Then she slunk to the refrigerator and took all the comida in the house. She took the pudding, and all the canned food, and the roast beef. She cleaned out the entire cozinha as quick as a flash, why Gilda even took their last batch of chocolate chip cookies!

Shortly after that, Gilda went to the natal tree, "And now," Grinned Gilda, "I will stuff up the tree." As Gilda tried to get the árvore up the chimney she heard hoofsteps. She turned around, and to her surprise she saw Applebloom.

Seeing Santa with the árvore made Applebloom very curious so she asked, "Santa Claus, why? Why are you taking our natal tree? Why?"

And you know Gilda, she thought up a lie, and she thought it up quick, "Why my sweet little tot.There's a light on this árvore that won't light on one side. So I'm taking it back to my workshop my dear. I'll fix it up there, and I'll bring it back here."

After that, Gilda gave Applebloom a cup of cold water, and when Applebloom was in cama with her cup, Gilda got the árvore out of the house. The last thing she took was the log for their fire. All she left in the house were some hooks, and some wires. And the one speck of comida which was a crumb that was even too small for a mouse.

Then Gilda did the same thing to the other ponies houses leaving crumbs that were too small for mouses.

You nauseate me Ms. Gilda
You're the queen of sinful sots
Your hearts a dead tomate splotched with moldy purple spots
Ms. Gilda

Your sole is an appalling dump heap
Overflowing with the most disgraceful
Assortment of deplorable rubbish
Imaginable, mangled up in enrolados up knots

You're a rotter Ms. Gilda
You're a nasty wasty skunk
Your coração is full of unwashed socks,
Your soul is full of gunk
Ms. Gilda

The 3 words that best describe you, are as follows, and I quote
Stink, Stank, Stunk

It was a quarter to dawn, all the ponies were still asleep. But they did not know that Gilda was taking off with all their natal decorations. Their presents, and their trees. Their food, and their 50th anniversary edition of The Great Escape on Bluray.

Ten thousand feet up. Up the side of Mt. Krumpit
Where Gilda was going to the tip topo, início with her load to dump it.

"Victory at last." Shouted Gilda as she slid to the bottom of the sleigh. "They're finding out now that no natal is coming. I know just what they'll do to. They'll notice that everything is missing, and they'll all cry boo hoo. That's a noise," Said Gilda "That I simply must hear." She waited, and waited while trying to hear a sound. She did hear something at last. It started in low, then it started to grow.

But this sound wasn't sad. This sound sounded glad. Everypony down in Ponyville the tall, and the small were cantar without any presents at all. She hasn't stopped natal from coming. It came. Somehow or another, it came, and it was all the same.

And Gilda, with her feet burried ice cold in the snow stood puzzled. "How could it be so? It came without ribbons. It came without tags. It came without packages, boxes or bags." Then she puzzled, and puzzled until her puzzler was sore. Then she thought of something that she hadn't before. Maybe, perhaps natal doesn't come from a store. Maybe natal perhaps, means a little bit more.

Upon realizing this, she noticed that the sleigh was starting to roll down towards a cliff. Gilda grabbed it, and tried her best to save everything on the sleigh.

And what happened then? Well in Ponyville they say. Gilda's coração grew three sizes that day. Then Gilda heaved as she got the sleigh safely away from the cliff with the strength of ten griffons, plus two.

And then, she rode down on the sleigh while playing on a horn letting everypony know that she had their natal stuff. She brought back the tree, and the presents, and the food, and the decorations, and The Great Escape on Bluray. Then she, she herself carved the roast beef.

Welcome Christmas, bring your cheer. Cheer to all ponies far and near. natal dia is in our grasp, so long as we have hooves to grasp. natal dia will always be just the same. Welcome natal as we stand, coração to heart, and hand in hand.

The End.
posted by Seanthehedgehog
Pete was interviewed next.

TV Pony: Hello, my name is Jack Jackson. What's yours?
Pete: Pete Reimer.
TV Pony: How old are you?
Pete: Forty three.
TV Pony: And how long have you worked on the U.P?
Pete: Twenty one years.
TV Pony: What do you think of this railroad?
Pete: I really do like it here. Many of the ponies I get to work with are kind, and very hard workers.
TV Pony: Is there anything you dislike about this railroad?
Pete: The rest of my workers, that try to get fired on purpose, or just don't care about anything.
TV Pony: Is there anything you've adjusted to over the past twenty one...
continue reading...
added by NocturnalMirage
Source: EQD, joyreactor
posted by Seanthehedgehog
 Master Sword
Master Sword
A pónei, pônei named Master Sword was the conductor of the train Bartholomew was going to drive.

Master Sword: All aboard!
Lady: *Blows whistle twice*
Signal Pony: *turns signal green*
Lady: *drives train* You know what this engine is we're driving?
Bartholomew: A 4-8-4?
Lady: Yeah, but we call them Neighagaras. We have 25 of them, and they're named after the Neighagara falls.
Bartholomew: Beautiful.

The train was gathering mais speed as it left Harmon.

Bartholomew: *Sees station* What kind of trains stop there?
Lady: Only commuter trains. Some passengers take the train there into Grand Central, and then...
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posted by Seanthehedgehog
 DM&IR Yellowstone
DM&IR Yellowstone
Meanwhile, on the Duluth Missabe & Iron Range railroad.

Louis: What has been bothering you my friend?
Worker: Our yellowstones are very powerful locomotives. However, our boss wants to scrap them all, and have diesels replace them.
Louis: That's a shame, but you know it has to be done.
Worker: I don't want it to happen though! I understand that the pollution is bad, but that's the only problem with that locomotive.

The phone rings.

Louis: Wait here, *goes to phone, and picks up* Hello, this is The British Mexican. How may I help you?
Pete: Louis? It's Pete.
Louis: Hello Pete. What can I help...
continue reading...
added by tinkerbell66799
Source: Original Owners (NOT ME!!
added by tinkerbell66799
Source: Original Owners (NOT ME!!
posted by Seanthehedgehog
Bob, and Emily returned home.

Emily: Well, that was a fun cruise.
Bob: *Being sarcastic* Yeah, especially the part where aleatório ponies ask for aleatório items.
Emily: Perhaps some TV might help you. *Turns on TV* Let's see what's on.
TV Pony: Walt disney has gone bankrupt creating the movie Frozen, which turned out to be the worst animated film ever.
Emily: Enjoy that, I'm gonna go get groceries. *Leaves apartment*
Bob: Yeah, but I'm not watching a review about some stupid cartoon that nopony likes. *Changes channel*

Ponies On The Rails came on the television

Gordon: *Loading baggage on train*
Pete:...
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posted by Seanthehedgehog
After lunch, Bob went in his room to relax, while Emily, and a few other ponies went on a scavenger hunt around the ship. Soon, Bob heard somepony knocking on his door.

Bob: Come in.
Mildred: *Comes in* I need your help with something.
Bob: What's the matter?
Mildred: It's Burt. He's been bothering me since we came here. I told him not to call me mum, but he got angry with me.
Bob: He didn't try to hurt you, did he?
Mildred: No, but he's probably looking for me, and then he'll hurt me.
Bob: I'll make sure he doesn't hurt you.
Random Pony: *Knocking on door*
Mildred: That's probably him!
Bob: *Opens...
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added by karinabrony
video
posted by Seanthehedgehog
Previously, Bob was on a luxury cruise liner with Emily, his wife. On that cruise, they met two ponies named Burt, and Mildred.

Burt: You know what I like to get all the time?
Bob: Potatoes?
Burt: No, that's the Irish. I like to get the salad.
Mildred: And I get steak.
Burt: Maybe, this time you should have the salada with me mum.
Emily: salada sounds nice.
Bob: I have to agree with Mildred, the bife sounds good.
Waiter: May I take your orders.
Burt: Me, and mum will have a salad.
Mildred: Don't be daft Burt, I can order for myself. Let me have a steak.
Waiter: Okay. *Writing down orders* And...
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posted by Seanthehedgehog
 Burt (He appears on the luxury cruise liner with Bob)
Burt (He appears on the luxury cruise liner with Bob)
The seguinte day, Bob came to work. Carol had a gift for his vacation tomorrow.

Bob: Hello.
Boss & Carol: oi Bob. We have your present.
Bob: What is it?
Carol: *Shows gift* Some wine, for you, and your wife.
Bob: Thanks. How old is this wine?
Carol: It's from last Tuesday.
Bob: Oh.
Sam: *Arrives* Hello Bob.
Bob: Hi Sam, have a assento in my office, I'll be right with you.
Sam: *Sees wine* What's the vintage on that? I'll bet it's from 1936.
Bob: Last tuesday.
Sam: Oh. Doesn't taste as good as a '36, but okay. *Goes to office*
Bob: Well, I really like the gift you have given me, and I want to thank...
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The last solstice

Chapter 37: Fair trade


The dungeons were beneath Canterlot Castle, carved deep within the mountain which the capital sat on. The cells were empty most of the time, there was no need for them since the royal sisters came to power a thousand years ago. Of course, a few criminals and villains were accommodated there from time to time; the crude engravings on the walls testified for that. Names, crooked drawings, lines representing days, months and years. Even Silent Hoof, the infamous burglar was a guest in one of the small cells.

The stone walls were cold and moist, and the temperature...
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The last solstice

Chapter 36: Flashpoint


Two days... It was mais than enough for her to chart Celestia's habits. She was wondering why she didn't do it sooner. Nopony was aware of her presence, not even the Princess. There were plenty of opportunities to complete her task. They were alone in the library. The premise was perfect. Dark corners for dark deeds... Celestia was lost in the books, pursuing a frivolous goal. She wasn't paying attention to her surroundings. It was almost too easy. She couldn't have tricked her like that 13 years ago. The assassin locked her eyes on the target. Celestia...
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posted by SkyheartPegasus
Ok, yes, intro after the first part. I forgot. So yeah.

A whole year, after Shining Armor and Cadence's wedding, the Mane 6 are going to their anniversary. They will meet tough dangers along the way. Who knows what...

~~Characters~~
Twilight Sparkle
arco iris, arco-íris Dash
Fluttershy
Pinkie Pie
Applejack
Rarity
Cadence
Shining Armor
Celestia
Luna
Chrysalis
Shadow Mist (OC)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Part 1: link
posted by Seanthehedgehog
I was carrying a M249 machine gun, and a .44 magnum. I had to stop Discord's army from doing any damage, and that's exactly what I was going to do.

Italians: *resting in castle*
Sean: *Walking up towards Castle*
Italian Soldier: *Spots Sean* I see him.
Italians: E 'quasi qui, preparatevi!
Sean: *hears shouting* Italians. They really amor shouting at each other.
Italian Soldier: *Throws grenade*
Sean: Whoa *Runs away*
Italian Soldier: Gettare più granate!
Italians: *Gathering grenades*
Sean: *Shoots Italian soldier por window*
Italian Soldier: *Dies while pulling pin on grenade*
Italian Captain:...
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added by karinabrony
a few days passed,all with the same enjoyment of every activity,even if in some of them,we got last place,i always encourage them that its alright,its the least i can do for the things they did to change me...and now its time for training

here we are at Ponyville Ace Academy Campus II,going through the halls of the building to the Computer Room on the segundo floor

"well here we are then" one of the Journalism adviser mumbled "okay,kids,just take a assento in one of those chairs seguinte to the computers and lets get started"

i started to look over the o espaço to see where i wanted to go,when somepony called...
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posted by SkyheartPegasus
This is a fanfiction taking place a ano after A Canterlot Wedding. Who knows what could happen at Shining and Cadence's anniversary?

--Note: This has both OCs and real chars.--

It was a nice dia in Equestria. The Mane 6 were at the train, getting prepared for Prince Shining Armor and Princess Cadence's wedding anniversary.

"I can't wait to see Shining and Cadence!" exclaimed Twilight, packing up her saddlebags.

"It's tootalllyyy gonna be a blast!" Pinkie said, putting her party canon in her bag.

Rarity stuffed some dresses in her packages Spike carried. They're gonna amor these dresses! she thought....
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posted by SomeoneButNoone
My Name Is Slash...
I lived in Canterlot... But my mother died and I needed to mover to Ponyville... to my dad... Im not normal 15 years old Stalion... Im a detective... I wantet to be detective because of.... one thing...

Year 1995 - Dream World

White Stalion - *have faca in one hoof and Mare in another hoof* HAHAHA! I WILL SAVE HER!
Police - Stop it! What do you want
Stalion - my god...
Mare - w-what the hell where we are
Slash Mom - ...
Slash - ugh...
Police - What you want?
White Stalion - hahaha... hahahahaha...
Police - ...
White Stalion - HAHAHAHAHAHA I WILL SAVE HER~!!! I WILL SAVE YOU ALL!!!
Detective...
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posted by Canada24
LATER!

"Why are you so sure I can find you gems?" Sweetie sino asked, as she was needed to travel with the diamond dogs.

"Your Rarity's sister. So she probably showed you how to do that gem finding spell" Rover said.

As it turned out, this wasn't false, Rarity DID teach her the gem finding spell.

"Fine.. But on one condition" Sweetie sino insisted.

"What NOW" Rover groaned.

"You have to piggy back me" Sweetie sino told him.

"Wha- No!" Rover cried.

"Piggy back me! Piggy back me!" Sweetie sino cried stubbornly.

"There's no way in hell I'm giving you a piggy back!" Rover cried annoyedly.


Ironically, and with great annoyance to him, Rover is shown having to piggy back Sweetie Bell.

Rover was angrily mumbling to himself, the whole way.

"SLOW DOWN! I want to get there! But I want to get there ALIVE!" Sweetie sino cried annoyingly, from on topo, início of Rover.