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posted by Seanthehedgehog
Half an hora later, Harry went to grab some lunch. There was place he always enjoyed going to called Dou Chebag's.

Harry: *enters restaurant*
Dou: Harry, how's it going?
Harry: Hello Mr. Chebag, how are you?
Dou: Wonderful. Would you like your usual?
Harry: I think I'll surprise you this time. Only chili today.
Dou: You got it. *looks out window* A lot of polution out there, it's not good.
Harry: No it isn't. Why can't we have clean streets for once?
Dou: We live in a town of crime.
Harry: Yeah *sees bank* I need you to make a call.
Dou: What for?
Harry: Tell the police that there's a bank robbery on 7th Avenue.
Dou: Ok, here's your hotdog.
Harry: Thanks. *eats hotdog* Now, just wait for the calvary to arrive.

But when Harry finished his hotdog, the alarm at the bank went off.

Harry: Oh damnit.
robbers: *exit bank*
Harry: *walks down rua with gun*
robbers: *pull out shotgun*
Harry: HALT!
robbers: *shoot gun*
Harry: *shoots shotgun carrying burglar*
burglars: *get in car*
Harry: *shoot driver*
driver: *crashes into firehydrant*
burglars: *get out*
Harry: *shoots both burglars*
civilians: *scream, and run*
Harry: *notices leg* They shot me
shotgun carrying burglar: *lays on ground*
Harry: *goes toward burglar*
burglar: *reaches for gun*
Harry: Uh uh. I know what you're thinking. Did he fogo six shots, or only five? To tell you the truth I lost track myself after all this excitement. *shows gun* Being this is a .44 magnum, the most powerful handgun in all of Equestria, and will blow your head clean off. You gotta ask yourself a question. Do I feel lucky?
Burglar: *silent*
Harry: Well do you punk?
Burglar: *does nothing*
Harry: *takes shotgun*
Burglar: Hey. I got's to know.
Harry: *pulls trigger*

Nothing happened. And as Harry walked from the dying criminal, the police arrived.

2 B continued.
added by NocturnalMirage
Source: EQD
added by NocturnalMirage
Source: EQD
added by NocturnalMirage
Source: EQD
added by NocturnalMirage
Source: EQD
added by NocturnalMirage
Source: EQD
added by NocturnalMirage
Source: EQD
added by NocturnalMirage
Source: EQD
added by NocturnalMirage
Source: EQD
added by NocturnalMirage
Source: EQD
added by NocturnalMirage
Source: EQD
added by NocturnalMirage
Source: EQD
added by NocturnalMirage
Source: EQD
added by NocturnalMirage
Source: EQD
posted by Seanthehedgehog
Coffee Creme was driving her train up Sherman Hill, and Mirage still had his engine pushing from behind.

Conductor: *Still drunk, and looks out the back of his caboose* Wait a minute. *Sees Mirage's engine* Why is that engine pushing the train?! It's supposed to be on the front of the train, not the back! *Walks out of caboose, and gets onto Mirage's engine*
Mirage: *Sees conductor* What is he doing on my engine?
Conductor: *Walks into cab* You sir are doing your job wrong!
Mirage: What are you talking about? I'm supposed to push this train up the hill, to help Coffee Creme.
Conductor: Don't...
continue reading...
posted by Seanthehedgehog
Jeff got back to Ponyville after killing Princess Cadence, and Shining Armor. He was waiting at the topo, início of his army's HQ with Twilight. They were waiting for Dr. Robotnik to arrive.

Jeff: I'm looking progressivo, para a frente to ending this war.
Twilight: Me too man. Me too.
Jeff: When do we kill him?
Twilight: We? Let me do all the talking.

Song: link

Robotnik: *Enters room*
Twilight: *Shoots Jeff's horn off*
Jeff: Ah! *Falls on floor*
Twilight: *Looks at Robotnik* What do you want me to do Doctor?
Robotnik: You have forgotten your place Princess Twilight Sparkle, por having your own... Student. Instead of teaching...
continue reading...
I was sitting in a room with Con, and his boss, P.

Sean: What can I help you with?
Con: Discord. Remember the prison your army put him in?
Sean: Yes. What happened?
P: He was being transferred to a different prison, but escaped.
Sean: Where is he?
Con: We're not entirely sure yet.

Meanwhile, in Mexico.

Discord: Wait here. This won't take long.
Italian Pony: Yes sir.
Discord: *Walks into Mexican military base*
Mexican pónei, pônei 33: Halt!
Discord: Relax. I am unarmed. I request permission to speak to your boss.
Mexican pónei, pônei 33: Very well. *Grabs walkie talkie* General, you have a visitor.
Mexican General:...
continue reading...
posted by Seanthehedgehog
Jeff was soon sitting seguinte to the judge.

Judge: It appears that everypony is saying you were in Cheyenne when Gordon took charge on the dia February 20, 1954.
Jeff: Yes, I was there.
Judge: What did you think of Gordon's actions when he told you to take the rails apart, and fix them again?
Coffee Creme: Objection.
Hawkeye: You can't object to what the judge says!
Judge: Thank you. Now Jeff, if you will please answer my question.
Jeff: I was very surprised, and upset por what Gordon wanted me to do.
Judge: When you say surprised, do you mean like an angry kind of surprised, or just surprised?
Jeff:...
continue reading...
added by NocturnalMirage
Source: EQD, joyreactor, deviantart
added by NocturnalMirage
Source: EQD, joyreactor
added by NocturnalMirage
Source: original owners, joyreactor