I have spent 10 years avoiding clinic duty. And yet it seemed I was in the clinic a lot lately.

My team was betting on whom I'm hiding from. Forman and Chase think its Wilson. Taub and Masters think it's some old guy I pissed off in the lobby this morning. I seemed to be doing that a lot lately, pissing people off. Even mais than was normal for me. mais bets. Everyone except Chase think its because I'm back on Vicodin. Chase knows better. He's in pain too. He's betting on Cuddy.

Because in reality, I wasn't hiding from anyone. I was looking for someone. There's a reason I chose to be in the clinic. Its because her office is here.

The nurses know. When I check in for clinic duty this often, they can only speculate, they have nothing better to do. But I didn't care. I let them say what they want.

Because no matter what they say, no matter what Wilson or Chase or anyone says, it's not going to change anything.

Because she was gone.

Gone for good.

And watching through her office door wasn't going to change that.

Cuddy.

My Cuddy.

I will always amor you.

I popped a Vicodin.