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(I never got around to finishing this and I doubt I ever would've. It's a shame that my laziness got to me because this was actually pretty good in my eyes. Oh well, hope you enjoy what's in here right now. XD)

(This is a parody of the famous Dr. Seuss book named "The manteiga Battle Book" that I worked on around 2 months ago.)

A long time ago, in a galaxy far far away…..

Whoops, wrong series. GODDAMNIT!

Anyways, it was a peaceful and sunny dia in the town of Cityville, (I’m serious. XD) When all of a sudden….

……

When all of a sudden……

…..

I SAID, WHEN ALL OF A SUDDEN!

FINALLY! :D

I mean, it was Marvin The Martian! Right the f**k out of nowhere!

BECAUSE WHY NOT!? :D

He was a beeline for Cityville! Quick, somebody do something!

…..

ANYONE ALIVE ON THIS PLANET DO ANYTHING OR WE’RE ALL GONNA DIE! >.<

…..

God I hate being the narrator.

Marvin: Greetings earthlings! It is I, Marvin Th-

Marvin: Where is everyone? @___@

Actually, that’s a good question.

♫On the other side of the wall!♫

Marvin: What in the name of Melmacian culture was that!?

Oh no, I sense a song coming…..

♫On the other side of the wall!♫

Oh yeah, I forgot to tell you. :D

Marvin: Where AM I!? @__@

We’re kinda sorta… Sorta kinda…..

In a Dr. Seuss story called The manteiga Battle Book.

Marvin: ……… (Too many dots in this fan-fiction!)

Marvin: Well, we’re screwed.

♫On the other side of the wall!♫

At least now I realize why nobody’s even here, we’re the ONLY ones in this area, the others are over there.

Me: ♫On the other side of the wall!♫ XD

Marvin: Well, at least have the courtesy to tell me what’s going to happen! Or else I’ll get out every weapon I have….

♫Butter side down! :D♫

Those red-dressed people over there like putting manteiga side down when they eat toast, and we like manteiga side up. We’re also dressed in blue.

Marvin: SERIOUSLY!? We’re starting a war over BREAD!?

Not just any pão war Marvin, this is the battle…..

Me: ♫FOR THE OTHER SIDE OF THE WALL!♫ ^___^

Marvin: Whatever, I’ll annihilate them in two seconds! What could possibly go wrong?

Kyros: ♫Butter side down!♫ >:D

Are you freaking KIDDING ME!?

seguinte time somebody says that I’ll go Mortal Kombat on them. >.<

Kyros: ♫The idiots on that side… They give me a frown. I mean, they don’t eat with the manteiga side down!♫

Marvin: ♫Au Contraire, you don’t even care! You’re just morons who don’t eat right, living in despair!♫

Oh this is gonna be good. :D

Kyros: Let’s skip the singing, we’re starting a war. Each of us has one dia to make a weapon and at exactly 5:00 P.M, we’ll fight with them and see who wins. There’s going to be three fights total, and the winner with the most fights won gets……

Kyros: ♫The other side of the wall!♫

Kyros: So, deal? >:)

Marvin: What if we refuse?

Kyros: Then I’ll have a good dinner….. Haha, HAHAHAH!!!!!

Marvin: Accursed earthlings! Well, now what Jared?

Who, me? I’m not even a character, I’m the narrator! >:D

Marvin: THAT’S IT! I’M NOT FIGHTING ALONE, GET OVER HERE! *Drags me into the book*

Jared: Well, that’s what happens when you push your luck. Also, I’m surprised you didn’t make a escorpião reference there! :D

Marvin: Really Jared? -___- Also, wasn’t there armies for BOTH sides in the book?

Jared: I didn’t even know you DID read the book. And yes, there was. But they, uh….

Jared: I have no idea what happened to them. Maybe they died, who knows. I mean, it’s not like they’re having a party.

The Entire Blue Population: YEAH! WHOO! PASS ME THE WHISKEY! ^____^

Jared: Well this is great, NOW who’s going to narrate the story? Hmm…..

Jared: How about Kirby? He’s a good narrator!

Marvin: Uh, sure I guess. :P

Kirby: Bio bio! ^___^

Jared: oi Kirby, use this mike to speak clearer!

Kirby: *Transforms into Mike Kirby*

Kirby: *Blows everything up*

Jared: OH GOD!!!! QUICK, GET HIM OUT OF HERE!

Marvin: *Shoots teleportation canhão at Kirby* There we go, he shouldn’t bother us anymore.

Jared: Great! I wonder where he went….

Entire Blue Population: OH GOD MY EARS!!!! NOOOOOO!!!! WE’RE ALL GONNA DDIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! >.<

Marvin: One last thing before we start building the weapon, my teleportation canhão is only in an alpha state, so there might be a few….. Glitches with it.

Jared: Alrighty! :D Besides, who needs narrators anyways?

Marvin: Well, we better get to work if we want to win. So, you have any ideas for weapons?

Jared: NAPALM FLAMETHROWER! AN602 HYDROGEN TSAR BOMB! TESLA CANNON! :D

Marvin: Alright then, let’s get to work!

*One Eternity Later*

Marvin: We’ve finally finished the Tesla Cannon, and it looks absolutely extravagant! What do you think Jared?

Jared: OW MY FINGEEERRRRR!!!! >.<

Marvin: This’ll make a great weapon for round one, we can’t lose!

Marvin: So, we have plenty of time left, what do you want to talk about?

Jared: How about why the heck anybody would want to eat butter-side DOWN!? SERIOUSLY, WHO DOES THAT!? IT’S LIKE PUTTING THE PEPPER ON THE SIDES OF EGGS, IT JUST DOESN’T MAKE SENSE! THE manteiga WILL FALL ALL OVER YOUR LEGS, AND IT’S AS STUPID AS YOU CAN GET!

Marvin: Wasn’t aware you’d go Nostalgia Critic on me there. Well, let’s take the weapon to the battlefield! FOR CITYVILLE!

Nonexistent Narrator: Meanwhile, on the other side of the wall…..

Red Person: HOW THE HECK ARE WE GOING TO BEAT A TESLA CANNON!?

Other Red Person: We should call Kyros!

Yet Another Red Person: We should make an even better weapon!

Patrick: WE SHOULD TAKE BIKINI BOTTOM, AND PUSH IT SOMEWHERE ELSE!

*Silence*

Yet ANOTHER Red Person: How the heck did PATRICK get in here?

YET ANOTHER FREAKING RED PERSON: It’s a Dr. Seuss story, why are we even questioning this?

*I hope you enjoyed that pointless advance in the story*

*Now back to the other side of the wall*

Marvin: It’s 4:45, I wonder what they’re doing? Well, all we can do is wait and hope we win.

Jared: *Makes a grilled cheese with the Tesla cannon* YUMMY! ^___^

Marvin: Hmm….. I hear something approaching us.

Kyros: Guess who? >:)

Jared: Dinkleberg….

Jared: I mean, uh, Kyros…..

Marvin: So, where’s your weapon? I don’t really see it.

Kyros: Look beyond what you see….. (Really? I’m ripping off The Lion King now? XD)

*Ground shakes*

*We’re screwed*

*Give my regards to Broadway*

*Brace for impact*

*Stop it Jared*

Marvin: Oh no! It’s UNDER us!?

Jared: WHAT DO WE DO!?

Jared: WAIT, I HAVE AN IDEA!

Marvin: WHAT IS IT!?

(And I stopped here. I didn't finish this because I got lazy, sorry. If I get enough positive feedback maybe I will continue this, but for now, that's not happening. Hope you enjoyed regardless of that. XD)

(Seriously though, I really had something going here. I was planning a bunch of cool twists, funny jokes, and even an epic rap battle at the end! I even finished it as well, so if you want to see that, let me know.)

(Again, I'm really sorry I didn't finish this. Oh well, lazyitis gets the best of all of us every now and then. :P)
The demon kicked the door of Daphne’s bedroom open. He sniffed. “Meg” he said soft as he recognized the smell. “Damn, this whole place stinks of you”
He opened the wardrobe and threw all clothes on the ground. Then he found a box with Martin written on it and a mischievous smile appeared on his smile.
Five minutos later he came back into the sitting room and he was very pleased to see Daphne’s upset face. He walked to the assento and took of the towel.
“Tell me how I look”
“You sick piece of shit! How dare you wear his clothes! Take them off! Take them off right now!” Daphne screamed....
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“Everyone’s looking for you” Cas said reproaching.
“Please, don’t tell them where I am” Daphne begged.
Cas shook his head and sighed. “Let’s get you inside” he said and he opened the front door. He gave Daphne a little push and she entered the house. He closed the door and turned to Daphne who was trying to rip off her bandage again. The nurse had changed it.
“Stop doing that” Cas said sharp.
“But it itches! It’s driving me totally insane!” Daphne exclaimed. Cas raised his eyebrows. “Don’t look at me like that. I know what you’re thinking”
“Come here” Cas...
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Zoey rushed into the police station and headed to the head bureau, when the receptionist stopped her. “Miss, do you have an appointment? You can’t just walk in there”
“I need to speak with inspector Roberts. She took Emmanuel here for some questions” Zoey said breathing fast. “He didn’t do it. He didn’t kill Shannen”
“I’ll see if she’s available” the receptionist said. She pressed a button on the phone and a few segundos later she got Isabel on the phone. She explained what was going on. She hung up and looked at Zoey. “Inspector Roberts will be here in a minute”
A...
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Andy was leaning over his work table, checking the groundplan of a building plan. Some changes needed to be made. He had to give this building plan to his mentor. If he didn’t he could fail his internship and that was about the last thing he wanted.
The problem was that he couldn’t stop thinking about Shannen. God, she’d made him so angry. He was so deep in thought he didn’t hear the knocking on the open door.
“Hey, Andy”
Andy looked up and saw the assistant of the manager standing in the doorway.
“What’s up? Big man needs a one on one with me?” Andy asked.
“The cops are here”...
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Daphne’s eyes flashed open. She felt how someone was staring at her and she looked aside. It was a woman with short, ginger hair which she had seemed to cut herself.
Daphne let out a shriek and jumped back. “Get away from me! Freak!”
The woman’s eyes bulged as they glided over Daphne’s inducted body. She reached out her hand and touched the bandage, when Daphne waved her hand and slapped her.
The woman touched her cheek and shrieked. She raced to a corner and began to cry like a baby.
The door opened and two nurses came in. One was rather tall and robust while the other one could’ve...
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Cas was sitting in a room with no windows and bare walls. He was sitting on a chair, staring a escrivaninha, mesa and felt how two pair of eyes were pinned on him.
“Do you know why you’re here, Mr. Allen?” the female cop asked. Cas looked up and nodded. “I’d like to hear you say it”
Cas coughed. “I’m here, because I violated my wife” he said toneless.
“You realize that’s a felony?” the female cop asked to be sure.
“I do” Cas replied.
“Then why did you do it?” she asked.
“Because,” Cas started. “she was being a…” he searched for the right word as he looked down again....
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Cas looked at Daphne who tried to get up. He wanted to go to her, but it seemed his legs didn’t want to move.
“Are you alright?” he informed worried.
Daphne groaned and panted. “What do you think, moron?” she snapped.
Cas forced himself to mover and walked fast to Daphne. He ducked and wanted to heal his wife, but she pushed his hand away.
“Don’t touch me!” she shouted.
“I’m just trying to help” Cas said soft.
“You’re going to get me killed someday” Daphne replied angry.
“I didn’t mean to hurt you” Cas said apologizing.
“No, you just accidentally grabbed my...
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“Shh” Cas lay his finger on his lips. “I hear something”
“Emmanuel? I’m back! Where are you?” Daphne called from downstairs.
Cas looked concerned at Meg. “You have to go” he insisted. “But can you change first? I don’t think it’s wise to let Daphne know I gave you her dress”
“Yeah, alright” Meg agreed. She walked out of the bathroom and entered the bedroom. She took of the dress and put on her underwear when the door opened.
“Manny, it’s very impolite not to knock” she said teasing and she turned around.
Daphne was standing in the doorway, looking furious.
“Oh”...
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“What did you do that for?” Cas asked breathless.
“I wanted to” Daphne said obvious. “And so did you, at least I thought you did” She looked away. “Guess I was wrong” She got up, but Cas took her hand.
“It’s not you, it’s me” he said.
“You’ve been in a bad relationship?” Daphne guessed.
“No, that’s not the problem” Cas said.
“Believe me, I get it…It was nice to meet you” She walked to the door.
“I’ve never been in a relationship before” Cas confessed uneasy.
Daphne turned around and her eyes were big. “You have got to be kidding me” she said...
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posted by invader-badray1
I close the door behind me and saw Gaz and gir playing together on a video game "hey Gaz" Gaz look at me than back to the tv "hey bad.. Oh yeah the tallest wanted to speak to you about how things going" I close one eye "um yes I will call him when I get my plans settle to rule this world "yeah whatever" I bite my bottom lip not to yell at her.. So I walk to my base but

When I can I turn around and saw gir having fun with Gaz on the video game *i never saw gir that happy like that before* I went down to my base and assento in a chair and look at all my plans I did but fail por those dibs worm baby's...
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A couple of hours later
Elena was lying in Damon’s arms, when the door opened and Stefan and Katherine appeared in the doorway.
“Damon? Can I talk to you” Katherine asked careful. Damon nodded, but prevented Elena from leaving. “In private?”
“It’s okay, Damon” Elena sighed and she freed herself from his hold. “I’ll be back” she said with a faint smile. She walked away from the cama and followed Stefan outside.
“Elena, I’m sorry” Stefan said.
“Not now, Stefan” Elena said.
“Yes, now” Stefan said. “I know you hate me and you have every right to. You should hate...
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Bonnie woke up and a bright light hurt her eyes, so she covered them. She looked around and learned she was in the hospital. She climbed of the cama and stared upon her own unconscious body.
“What’s going on?” she asked, not expecting a reply.
However, she did get one.
“You’re in coma”
Bonnie’s breathing went faster when she recognized the voice. “Grams?” she called.
Sheila appeared. Bonnie wanted to go to her, but she raised her hand and stopped her. “I’m not here for a family reunion” she said cold. “I’m here in name of the Bennett witches. You’ve seriously screwed...
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The hospital
“I’m fine” Jeremy said for the seventh time. Caroline had brought him to the hospital, along with Bonnie.
“I think I should make that decision, don’t you think?” the doctor said. It was the same that had taken care of his hand. “Now, will you please lay down so I can check if you have any broken ribs?”
Jeremy reluctantly lay down on the hospital cama and pulled up his shirt, like the doctor had asked him.
“Does this hurt?” she asked, pressing the right side of his stomach. Jeremy shook his head. “And this?”
“No”
“This?”
“Oww!” Jeremy exclaimed.
“Okay”...
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“You shouldn’t have come here” Damon said nervous. “Go away”
“I will” Elena said. “With you. Can you get up?”
Damon shook his head. “I have to stay here…I have to make amends”
Elena frowned. “What are you talking about? Just get up and come with me. And please open your eyes”
Damon shook his head again. “I can’t open them. It hurts too much” he said a little ashamed. But Elena didn’t listen and pushed his eyelids up. She regretted it immediately.
“What has she done?” she asked shocked.
“Vervain” Caroline said.
“Why doesn’t he heal?” Elena asked.
“Because...
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“Elena!”
Elena ran into Jeremy, which meant Alaric hadn’t been able to keep him away.
“Elena, we need to go and help Damon”
Elena nodded. “I know. I had a dream. I know what it sounds like, but it was real”
“He’s with Bonnie. We need to go to Bonnie’s” Jeremy said.
“Come on, we’ll take Damon’s car” Elena said. She and Jeremy ran to Damon’s car, which still had the keys in the connection. She turned them and started the engines. She pushed the accelerator and raced ahead.
She drove alongside other cars, causing other drivers to honk. She ignored them and ten minutes...
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Tears rolled over Elena’s cheeks as she held Damon in her arms. This could not be happening. This had to be a nightmare, one she needed to wake up from. She closed her eyes and memories of her and Damon flashed through her mind.
“I’m coming with you” she said. “Really?” Damon asked suspicious. “Damon, I ran through the rain. I’m soaked. Don’t go pergunta my honesty now” Elena said. “Okay, I just… I assumed you’d stay with your friend” Damon said still surprised. “You assumed wrong” Elena said calm. Damon focused on the car again, with no success. “I can’t...
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She bent on her knees and her hands glided over the earth. She didn’t know what she was going to find, but a strong feeling inside of her told her there was something underneath the earth. Something she needed to find.
And so she started digging with her hands. Soon her hands were wounded and dirty, but she just kept digging.
She carried on for what seemed like hours, her hands bleeding, until her fingers touched something solid. She dug faster and mais fiercely, until she saw the object. When she saw Damon’s body she couldn’t breathe anymore. She covered her mouth and tears rolled over her face. She was too late.
She pulled him out of the pit and held him in her arms.
Jeremy and Jenna were now somewhere unfamiliar. It was cold and dark and musty. They were standing in front of a cage, seguinte to Bonnie, who looked furious. Apparently Damon had done something Bonnie had not allowed him to do.
“You have been a very bad boy, Damon, disobeying me like that” “I’m sorry” he mumbled, though he didn’t mean a word of it. “Shut up” Bonnie commanded. “I believe bad boys should be punished” she finished with an extremely evil smile on her face. Damon swallowed, fearing whatever was coming. But Bonnie just sat there. She wasn’t mumbling anything, she...
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Elena scribbled up. Damon’s voice had faded away and she tried to find it back.
“Elena”
Elena’s breath went faster and she started walking when something was holding her back. She looked down and saw how twigs of rosas wind around her legs, thorns stinging in her flesh.
Elena grabbed the twigs, ignoring the pain and tried to break them. But they were too strong.
“Elena”
Knowing Damon needed her gave Elena some extra strength and she let herself fall down on the ground. She pulled the twigs that grew bigger and bigger and winded around her body. Before she was completely immobilized...
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Elena lay in her bed, but it had taken Stefan two hours to reassure her Damon was alright.
“I brought him to Ric’s loft” he had said. “If I would’ve brought him here Bonnie would’ve found him in no time. You can go see him tomorrow. I promise”
“Where’s my phone?” she asked shaking. “I want to call him. I want to hear him say he’s okay"
Stefan gave Elena’s phone and she dialed Damon’s number. It went straight to voicemail. “He’s not picking up” Elena said scared. “Something happened”
Stefan took her por her shoulders. “Elena, his phone is probably dead and...
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