Elena loves to dance. Throughout the entire series, she's always going to dances, or wanting to go, and each time, she has had to coerce Stefan into going with her. Even though Stefan knows how very much Elena likes to dance.

From the very beginning, with Vicki at the Boardinghouse, we see that Damon loves to dance to. I can't help but to make comparisons to Elena's dancing with Stefan to her dancing with Damon. The one time I can recall Elena ever actually smiling when dancing with Stefan was 'Unpleasantville', when Stefan spun Elena around in the air - but of course, only after she begged him too and then almost marched off in a huff and rolled eyes.

Contrary to Stefan's reluctance to dance, Damon was always trying to get Elena to dance with him and even when he couldn't, he definitely was not sitting out. In the same episode, Damon tried to ask Caroline and Bonnie to dance and then Elena, whose rejection was truly the only one that seemed to hurt him.

Dancing is a major theme in the show. In addition, dancing is a major contention in relationships. How many times have they depicted in shows a couple's disparity in dancing, with the husband hating it and the wife having no one to dance with, sitting out dejectedly - or vice versa?

Just like couples should be emotionally and sexually compatible, I believe they should be dancing compatible. It can't be any fun to have to force your significant other to dance and with if Elena were to get back with - and stay - with Stefan, she'd have to content herself with that - for an eternity.

With Damon, Elena would most likely *always* be dancing. And therein lies the disparity between each relationship and the obvious perfectly compatible mate for Elena - the one who never needs any coaxing to dance.

The Encyclopedia Britannica defines dance as being "a powerful impulse" and: "One of the most basic motives of dance is the expression and communication of emotion. People—and even certain higher animals—often dance as a way of releasing powerful feelings, such as sudden accesses of high spirits, joy, impatience, or anger. These motive forces can be seen not only in the spontaneous skipping, stamping, and jumping movements often performed in moments of intense emotion, but also in the mais formalized movements of “set” dances, such as tribal war dances or festive folk dances. Here the dance helps to generate emotions as well as release them."

If I am to interpret this correctly, it means that Stefan's impulses, his joy isn't that strong when it comes to Elena. After all, in the flashbacks with Katherine *and* Rebekkah, we see Stefan mais than enjoying being able to dance with them. Indeed, with the flashback/induced dream Katherine had given to Stefan, Stefan even enjoyed rubbing his joy of dance with Katherine in Damon's face, a fact that he's never done to Damon with Elena. He was, quite frankly, mais than willing to lend Elena to Damon for a few dances.

In addition, when Elena and Stefan get into lively discussions or arguments, they're never really that physical. The one time I remember Elena ever raising a hand to Stefan was when he was the Ripper and it was mais an action to display Elena's strength to herself and to Stefan than any strong emotional reaction to a fight with Stefan. This isn't exactly dancing, but again, this is dance-hating Stefan.

The arguments between Elena and Damon, however, have often gotten physical from the very beginning, from Elena's first slap with Vicki's final death to her beating on his chest when he wouldn't allow her into the vamp-holding cell under Fell's Church. They've always moved around each, as if in a dance, when arguing or even when flirting; Damon's kitchen-bumping, the crowding he did to Elena when she called him in season 1 to discuss Stefan's continuing extreme reactions to human blood. In a sense, Damon and Elena are always dancing, not least with their emotions for each other.

It can't be lost on us that the only two majorly adult dances Elena has had on The Vampire Diaries have occurred with Damon, as well. The first, the Miss Mystic Falls dance, with the near touch: up until then, Elena's done little mais than swaying in place with Stefan. Here, Elena and Damon engage in a sort of prey-stalking before coming together in a waltz, which was - at one time (circa 1801) - the most scandalous and sensual dance a pair could engage in. Symbolically, they were representing Mystic Falls in 1864 or so, and thought the waltz had been out for decades por then, it still wasn't a dance most parents wanted their girls dancing to. The segundo adult dance was, again, a waltz at the Mikaelson's ball. This, of course, happened in front of the whole town. Those in attendance saw that Elena, one of the last remaining members of a prominent family, dancing with someone the town would have known was not her boyfriend. It would have been customary, at least, for both halves of the couple to open their dancing with each other before venturing off to dance with others.

Now, back to the 'near touch'. I realized I had made a comment on someone else's post that would fit perfectly here:

Out of all the Damon/Elena scenes, the ones where they are dancing about each other emotionally, are always beautiful slices of subtlety. Stefan once mentioned that the 'near touch' was overrated, but that's because he has never been denied what he's wanted: Katherine and then Elena. Damon has been denied both and in both, they rejected dancing with him to dance with Stefan. So the near touch is all Damon had, the metaphysical dancing he engaged in with Elena, such as the staring scene revealed in 4x07's promo.

I, for one, have always thought the near touch, if used between the right people, can convey so much mais than an actual touch can. After all, Damon and Elena's entire romance is a three ano study of the near touch, of a mating dance creating the most epic amor imaginable.

Elena is not meant to be held back, to be kept on the sidelines while everyone else whirls to the música - and neither is Damon. Dancing isn't just dancing - it's expression and an expression that Stefan clearly doesn't like or, maybe, even have. Dancing is the release of emotions you just can't contain inside your body any longer, whether you're slow dancing or flailing your limbs about crazily. Dancing is a carefree release of inhibitions - something that Elena seemed to be used to before she lost her parents, something that Damon has always been used to, both as a human (chasing through the woods after a girl in the night, or when's she's stolen their football [in contrast, Stefan always needed to be encouraged]) and as a vampire. He danced when he was bored, he danced when he was in pain (Katherine's absence from the tomb), he danced for fun.

That is the sort of man Elena should have. Not just a man who will dance when coerced, but who will dance for the amor it to match Elena's amor of it.