The main complaint is “Elena left Damon to die alone.” Many Delena shippers have damned Elena for it and many Stelena shippers have used this as proof that she doesn’t amor Damon. But Elena was put into an impossible situation. Upon discovering that all her vampire loved ones might die, Elena demanded that she and Matt return to them so say goodbye, only to learn the horrible truth: Damon was not with them. So Elena was forced to decide which brother she would see in possibly their last moments. So what did Elena do? She picked the man whom she loved and once shared a relationship with who was torn cruelly from her por fate. The man she fought tooth and nail for who was recently showing signs of returning to his old self. The point is Stefan and Elena had a history. They had shared intimate moments, made love, exchanged kisses, hugs, and “I amor you’s.” While each and every single one of Damon and Elena’s moments mean mais to all of us as Delena shippers than all of Elena’s moments with Stefan combined is doesn’t change the fact that Damon and Elena don’t share that history. They’ve had exactly four kisses, the first of which was forced upon Elena. Elena has never said “I amor you” to Damon and he’s only said it three times, only two of which she remembers and one of those times it was said during an argument that turned ugly.
There is a good chance that when Elena called Damon, she had no intention of telling him she had picked Stefan. But once Damon asked her where she was there was no hiding it. So Elena explained why she was going back to Stefan. I read a really good post on why Elena should’ve lied or stretched the truth for Damon in his dying moments, but despite the good points the author made the fact is there was a greater chance Damon would not die. With three remaining original siblings the odds were in Damon’s favor. Had Elena told Damon she loved him and chose him and he survived, learning the truth afterwards would’ve destroyed him. Their relationship is built on trust and they are always honest with each other. Elena is honest in explaining her amor for Stefan, and even though she loves Damon and knows it, she did not lie in saying she cares about him. Elena could’ve told Damon she loved him as a gift in those last moments but then if he survived he would never have been able to let her go. And that’s what Elena was doing, letting Damon go. She starts crying when she tells him she cares about him as though she knows it’s mais than that and she’s sorry she can’t let him know but if Damon knew he would never give up on her. Elena knows there’s a very good chance Damon and the others would survive, and makes it clear when she insists that Damon would be fine and she would see him again. So in the end Elena’s choice wasn’t about who she loved more, but about who she had shared mais with.
So now let’s talk about Elena’s amor for Damon. Many people don’t understand why Elena didn’t pick Damon or why she can’t seem to see how amazing he is. “What’s wrong with her? Can’t she see what’s right in front of her?” But think about all the moments that made us fall in amor with Damon Salvatore and then think of how many of them Elena never saw or doesn’t know about. Elena didn’t see his existential crisis in the middle of the road with Jessica. She doesn’t remember his heartbreaking declaration of love. She wasn’t awake when he tenderly stroked her face. She doesn’t know he tackled Tyler to save Caroline. She didn’t see his face after Katherine told him she never loved him. She doesn’t know he offered himself in Jenna’s place during the sacrifice ritual. She didn’t hear him thank her for deeming him worthy of rescuing. She didn’t see his tears when he had to stake Rose, and she only just learned of the dream he gave her. There are so many things Elena does not know about Damon and yet she loves him anyway. Do you know how amazing that is? She has seen the worst of him but not the best and she loves him anyway.
With Stefan it’s different. Stefan is not on my list of favorito people after the finale (letting your true amor drown in a car because she asked you to does not exactly endear you to me), but before the finale, and especially in seasons one and two, I quite liked Stefan. I may be a sucker for the bad boys but I do amor a sweet guy, which is probably why I adore Matt so much. Stefan had his own moments which made me like him and all of them Elena has seen or knows about. She knows how kind and helpful Stefan was to Caroline after her transformation. She knows how he brought her and Bonnie together to cheer up Caroline after she was tortured por werewolves. She knows how Stefan gave up everything, including her, to save his brother’s life. She knows he jumped into the lake to save an unknown family from drowning. She knows that he offered himself in Jenna’s place. Now I’m not one of those people who think Stefan purposely shows off his good deeds so he can win Elena’s amor but it’s true his better moments are on display for her to see. Stefan came to Klaus at the sight of the sacrifice to offer himself in place of Jenna. Elena was there and witnessed the whole thing. Damon, on the other hand, went to Klaus at Alaric’s loft where the only witness to his actions was Katherine. Elena saw Stefan feed Bonnie his blood to save her life which seemed to change her mind about their breakup. Damon did the exact same thing in episode 3x21 (“Before Sunset”) but Elena, already on her way to save Caroline, was not aware of this.
In season three Elena began to learn about Stefan’s dark past. She has seen the best of him but not the worst. Stefan was the sweet, good looking guy who came into her life when it was falling apart. Her amor for him makes sense. It’s Elena’s amor for Damon that is the mystery. She saw his attempt at atoning for his sins when he compelled Jeremy. She noticed his kindness towards her in Georgia. She saw his amor for Katherine and how heartbroken he was at her betrayal. And she saw his devotion to his brother and to her. This collection of small things overcame her horror at the atrocities Damon committed to and around her, and amazingly enough he wormed his way into her heart. In the end, I think Elena’s capacity to amor should be praised and her feelings for Damon appreciated. Or questioned if you’re a Stelena shipper ;)
