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posted by adaug
Mom:Okay kids!(4 kids)get in here!I got news!
Kennedy:What is it?
Mom:Me and your dad are going on a date
*grasshopper sound*
Mom:so you guy will need a babysitter!


*10 minutos later the baby sitter came*
Mom:Hello!I'm Amy!
Babysitter:I'm Ashley!
Mom:DARELL!Get your butt in here!
*Mom and Dad leave*
Ashley:Hi kids!I'm your babysitter Ashley!
kids:HI!
Kid:I'm Amber!I'm four!
Ashley:Hi Amber!*ruffles hair*cute!
Amber:Never...touch...ME!!!
Ashley:OH kay!
Kid:I'm Zack!I'm 9
Ashley:Hello!


*59 minutos later*
Amber:I wuv chá parties!!
Ashley*Walks in*Hey Amber what are you doing?
Amber:Having a chá party!
Ashley:Can I...
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NAME: Greg Bulmash

SEX: Not yet. Still waiting for the right person.

DESIRED POSITION: Company's President or Vice President. But seriously, whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first place.

DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a ano plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.

EDUCATION: Yes.

LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility.

SALARY: Less than I'm worth.

MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes.

REASON FOR LEAVING:...
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(there is no order)

1.Allen walker (d grey man)
2.Gaara (naruto/shippuden
3.Hatsuharu sohma (fruits basket)
4.Deidara (naruto shippuden)
5.Senri shiki (vampire knight)
6.Tsubasa otori (beyblade/metal masters)
7.Toushiro hitsugaya (bleach the movie)
8.Neji hyuga (naruto/shippuden)
9.Mystel (beyblade g revolution)
10.zelgardis breywords (the slayers)
11.hikaru (ouran highschool host club)
12.china (hetalia) (i think?)
13.hanabusa (vampire knight)
14.takama ichijo (vampire knight)
15.zaku (naruto) (deceased aka dead)
This pato walks into a convenience store and asks the clerk, "Do you have any grapes?" The clerk says no, and the pato leaves.

The seguinte day, the pato returns and asks, "Do you have any grapes?" The clerk again says no, and the pato leaves.

The dia after that, the pato walks in the store again and asks "Do you have any grapes?" The clerk screams at the duck, "You've come in here the past two days and asked if we had any grapes. I told you no every time that we don't have any grapes! I swear if you come back in here again, and ask for grapes, I'll nail your webbed feet to the floor!!"

The duck...
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1. Every dia at school is the same
2. You never know if your braids look digusting or not
3. You are so used to never talking that if somebody says something to you, never know how to react
4. You would like to think that people notice or even think about you but you are really just the big ugly quiet black girl nobody knows or cares about
5. You worry people will write nasty comments on your fanpop artigo that is obvioustly meant to vent your feeling out
6. On the weekend all you do is watch tv and sleep and play with your cat
7. When you only really have like 3 friends at school and 2 of them...
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The show SpongeBob linked to attention problems and learning


The show SpongeBob SquarePants is pointed por a study which indicates that the viewing for only nine minutos of the show may cause short-term attention problems and learning in children four years.

Such problems have been observed in a study of 60 randomly selected children to watch SpongeBob or Caillou, in which imagens change mais slowly, or to draw in nine minutes.

Immediately after this activity, children were tested for mental function. And those who watched SpongeBob scored lower than others.

Previous studies had already established...
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I'm putting two funny artigos together in one, hope you enjoy it!

Some fun rules
1. I can please only one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow isn't looking good either.
2. I amor deadlines. I especially like the whooshing sound they make as they go flying by.
3. Am I getting smart with you? How would you know?
4. I'd explain it to you, but your brain would explode.
5. Someday we'll look back on all this and plow into a parked car.
6. There are very few personal problems that cannot be solved through a suitable application of high explosives.
7. Tell me what you need, and I'll tell you...
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previously on the Evil Teddy Bear: Tina Unlocked the door to their house and they all walked inside then Peter put the Teddy urso on the self after that they all got hungery so Tina went to the shops to get some comida while Peter and Jenni were playing Uno they heard a crash in the cozinha and ran over there they got a big shock when they saw how messy the cozinha was when Tina got início she saw what the cozinha was like and she got a big shock herself then while they all were thinking of a plan to see who did this to their início the Teddy urso was hiding in the cozinha cupboard as it chuckled...
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15) They told me at the blood bank that this might happen.

14) This is just a 15 minuto power nap like they raved about in the last
time-management course you sent me to.

13) Whew! Guess I left the topo, início off of the Liquid Paper.

12) I was meditating on the mission statement and envisioning a new paradigm.

11) This is one of the seven habits of highly effective people.

10) I was testing the keyboard for drool resistance.

9) I was doing a highly specific Yoga exercise to relieve work-related stress.
Are you discriminating against people who practice yoga?

8) I was doing a "Stress Level Elimination Exercise...
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posted by kinga10111
..... aleatório Facts .....

If you have 3 quarters, 4 dimes, and 4 pennies, you have $1.19. You also have the largest amount of money in coins without being able to make change for a dollar.
The numbers '172' can be found on the back of the U.S. $5 dollar bill in the bushes at the base of the lincoln Memorial.


President Kennedy was the fastest aleatório speaker in the world with upwards of 350 words per minute.


In the average lifetime, a person will walk the equivalent of 5 times around the equator.


Odontophobia is the fear of teeth.


The 57 on Heinz ketchup bottles represents the number of varieties...
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1.Rubber bands last longer when refrigerated.

2.Peanuts are one of the ingredients of dynamite.

3.There are 293 ways to make change for a dollar.

4.The average person's left hand does 56% of the typing.

5.A tubarão is the only peixe that can blink with both eyes.

6.There are mais chickens than people in the world.

7.Two-thirds of the world's berinjela is grown in New Jersey.

8.The longest one-syllable word in the English language is "screeched."

9.On a Canadian two dollar bill, the flag flying over the Parliament building is an American flag.

10.All of the clocks in the movie "Pulp Fiction" are stuck on...
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Barbra Streisand

Woowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoow
oowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowo
owoowoowoowoowoo

Barbra Streisand

Woowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoow
oowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowo
owoowoowoowoowoo

Barbra Streisand

Woowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoow
oowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowo
owoowoowoowoowoo

Barbra Streisand

Woowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoow
oowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowo
owoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoo...
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INT. A SHOPPING MALL WE'VE USED BEFORE - DAY.

The mall. Teenage girls bury their heads in piles of clothes and giggle. A Sale Sign goes up and they scream. Mothers drag kids por their heels. As the people pass by, they glance uncomfortably at something off-screen then hurry along. The children point, faces uncomprehending.

Pan over to find ZIM and gir in a dark corner, near a waste receptacle, dressed as clowns. ZIM just stares out evilly at the passing people. gir simply stares, holding balloons.

ZIM (to GIR)
Look at them, GIR. THEY think we are clowns. But we are not clowns.

GIR gasps in shock....
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Ashimoto ni kaze hikari ga matta nichijou ni dake tsumotta bun no kiseki ga
Miagereba kumo tooku e no kiro osanai hi no jibun yori mo hayaku
Yukidoke o matte ita kodomo no you ni hashiru
Hikaru shizuku tobihaneteru
Asu no deai sae kizukazu ni iru kisetsu-tachi no naka de kagayaite iru yo

Sekaijuu ni wa donna omoi mo kanau hi ga kuru
Zutto tabi o shite yuku bokura ni chiisana sei-tachi maioriru

Deatta basho mo midori o nashite yuruyaka ni mo nagareru toki ni yudanete
Haruka ni aogu machinami no roji osanai hi no jibun ga mada kakeru
Ano yuuhodou kara kikoete kuru kigi no koe ya hibi no zawameki...
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posted by cute20k
Okay, I don't really cry a lot but these frases are all a little sad. They're in no particular order.

1. "A million words wouldnt bring you back, I know because I tried. Neither would a million tears, I know because I've cried."

2. "When you're in amor and you get hurt, it's like a cut, it will heal with time but the scars will never fade"

3. "What happens when he's your prince charming, but you're not his cinderella?"

4. "The worst feeling in the world is giving all the amor you have and knowing it will never be returned"

5. "You probably won't remember me. I'm probably ancient history. I'm one...
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1. Pretend to fall down and wait till someone says "Are you OK?" Then say "I'M A MONSTER!!" And see what happens
2. Walk up to a complete stranger and say "Hey, I liked your video on youtube!"
3. If it's Dia das bruxas go to the costume section and grab a Dia das bruxas bag and go up to a aleatório person and say "Trick or treat!"
3. Go to a crowded aisle and if you know it sing the song "Party like a rock star"
4. Follow a customer and put in items in hisher carrinho and say "Ready for checkout!"
5. When you see a old guy then point and say "Its Shakira!!"
6. Go up to an old man and say "MOMMY!! I HAVEN'T...
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posted by KateKicksAss
Credit: I found these online, and they made me smile. As you can see, I clearly didn’t make them up. Thought of course, If I had, I wouldn’t be claiming they were someone elses…Never mind..

Our bombs are smarter than the average high school student. At least they can find Kuwait.
-A. Whitney Brown

When they asked George Washington for his ID, he just took out a quarter.
- Stephen Wright.

Did you ever walk in a room and forget why you walked in? I think that’s how cachorros spend their lives.
–Sue Murphy

I don’t kill flies but I like to mess with their minds. I hold them above globes. They freak...
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posted by TVD_rocks
10. Sing “Bad Touch” por the Bloodhound Gang in your head whenever he is near.

9.Ask him if he thinks Robert Pattinson is hot. When he says no, tell him he has low self esteem issues

8. Tell him the relationship he is having with Bella is practically paedophilia and he could be sent to jail for it.

7.End every argument with “Bite me, Edward.”

6. Whenever he complains or argues, reply with “What are you gonna do Edward? Go to Italy?”

5.Ask him to be a gangsta with you for Halloween

4. Show him the twilight trailer. Ask him if he thinks that he looks like a pedophile or if it's just you.

3. Tell him his hair isn’t bronze, it’s ginger, and he should stop denying himself – he’s a ranga.

2. Whenever he leaves a room or says goodbye, get down on your knees and beg him not to go, not again.

1. Take his silver cell phone and change the ringtone to “Like a Virgin” por Madonna.
Do-do-oo-oo
Yeah-Yeah-Yeah-Yeah
(Intro Music)
We wonder, are you ready to cadastrar-se us now?
Hands in the air, we will show you how come and try caramell will be your guide (be your guide)
So come and mover your hips,
sing
Oa-ah-ah!
Look at your two, do it
La,la,la!
You and me can sing this melody
Oa-oa-ao

Dance to the beat,
wave your hands together
Come feel the heat,
Forever and forever
Listen and learn,
It is time for prancing
Now we are here with Caramelldansen
Oo-oo-oo-oa-oa
Oo-oo-oo-oa-oa-ao
Oo-oo-oo-oa-oa
Oo-oo-oo-oa-oa-ao
Fron Sweden to UK we will bring our song Austrailia,USA,and people of Hong Kong They have herd...
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posted by ShiningsTar542
There is a topless fotografia of Sel going around, but it’s FAKE!O_O

Sources connected to Gomez told website TMZ that Selena and company ‘are furious that her reputation is being sullied por some perverts with Photoshop.’

"The alleged fotografia of Selena Gomez is absolutely not her. Selena’s family is pursuing all available remedies to deal with the offender.” said her reps.

Now they are going to go after the people responsible.

Awful, isn’t it, some of the weird things people do on the Internet!?
UGGHHHH...

source: TMZ

-Well these stuff don't happen only to famous people,But they also happen to normal fellows and This results in big problems which have no limits!