aleatório Article: Facts about Chuck Norris

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posted by x-menobsessed26

There used to be a rua named after Chuck Norris, but it was changed because nobody crosses Chuck Norris and lives

Every time Chuck Norris looks into a mirror it breaks. Even glass is not stupid enough to get between Chuck Norris and Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris can strangle you with a cordless phone.

Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life.

Chuck Norris died 20 years ago, Death just hasn't built up the courage to tell him yet.

Brett Farve can throw a football 50 yds. Chuck Norris can throw Brett Farve even farther.

Some magicans can walk on water, Chuck Norris can swim through land.

Chuck Norris runs until the Treadmill gets tired

Chuck Norris once urinated in a semi truck's gas tank as a joke....that truck is now known as Optimus Prime.

Chuck Norris doesn't flush the toilet, he scares the sh*t out of it

Chuck Norris can cut through a hot faca with butter

Chuck Norris and super-homem once fought each other on a bet. The loser had to start wearing his underwear on the outside of his pants.

Chuck Norris does not need Twitter...he is already following you.

Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

There is no 'Ctrl' button on Chuck Norris' computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.

Death once had a near-Chuck Norris experience

Chuck Norris put out a forest fire. using only gasoline

Chuck Norris can understand women.

They found Chuck's diary...It is now known as The Guiness Book of World Records.

Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.

The Universe is constantly expanding, in a futile attempt to escape from Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.

When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris once got bit por a rattle snake...After three days of pain and agony ...the rattle snake died

Chuck Norris will never have a coração attack. His coração isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him.

The original título for Alien vs. Predator was Alien and Predator vs Chuck Norris. The film was cancelled shortly after going into preproduction. No one would pay nine dollars to see a movie fourteen segundos long.

Chuck Norris once scared a baby. To this dia that baby is still screaming in fear......his name is Justin Bieber

Chuck Norris doesn't battle... he just allows you to lose

Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.

Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. Its decendants are known today as Giraffes.

most kids pee their name into snow... Chuck Norris pisses his in concreate...

Chuck Norris jumped off a building once. The ground didn't make it..

Chuck Norris was dropped twice as a baby. First on Hiroshima, then on Nagasaki.

When Chuck Norris wants a steak, cows volunteer. It's just easier that way.

Even atheists believe in Chuck Norris

Oxygen needs Chuck Norris to survive.

There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animais Chuck Norris allows to live

Chuck Norris uses a sundial at night

Chuck Norris made a Happy Meal cry

Chuck Norris can get blackjack with one card

Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

Chuck Norris can soco a cyclops between the eyes.

Growing up Chuck Norris raised 4 turtles, we now them now as the Ninja Turtles

Chuck Norris can light a fogo por rubbing two ice-cubes together.

Chuck Norris can set ants on fogo with a magnifying glass. At night.

The Black Eyed Peas used to be called "The Peas"... until they met Chuck Norris.

the dinossauros made Chuck Norris mad...once

Chuck Norris once roundhoused a planet so hard and so fast it burst into flames, today it is known as the sun

Windows 7 was Chuck Norris' idea

Curiosity didn't kill the cat..... Chuck Norris did.

When Chuck Norris was born he slapped the doctor to test his reflexes.

Chuck Norris can cook minuto arroz in 30 seconds

When Bruce Banner's angry he turn into the Hulk. When the Hulk's angry he turns into Chuck Norris

deathding, Tdinoahiscute4 and 5 others like this

Anya Cooke Birthday Song Screenshot

added by Crazedsitcomfan

topo, início 30 Scariest Places on Earth You Should NEVER Visit Alone

added by Makeupdiva

video

aleatório

scariest

places

topo, início 30

WatchMojo

1

IMG 20240405 034144691

added by Crazedsitcomfan

Let Me Tell You About This Product

posted by Seanthehedgehog

Hi, I'm Steven Ovonel, and I'm here to tell you about an amazing product called Spamdex. Spamdex allows people to be harassed por many aleatório ads that pop up out of nowhere. We've also created hundreds of AI accounts that send messages to people about products or apps that they don't want. They also create useless articles, post pointless comments, ruining people's hard work. Let's see what others have to say about Spamdex.

My name is Connor Noiles, and my review on HelluvaBoss was ruined por an idiot that posted a link to a game called Battleship Online. Why would you do something like that?

---...

252

100 Reasons why You amor her

posted by milorox18

1. I amor the way we finish each other’s sentences.

2. I amor the way I know you’ll never give up on me.

3. I amor the fact that I wouldn’t ever give up on you.

4. I amor the way you look at me.

5. I amor how beautiful your eyes are.

6. I amor the way I can’t imagine a dia without you in my life.

7. I amor the way if we were ever separated I wouldn’t know how to go on.

8. I amor the way we cuddle and watch sunsets together.

9. I amor the way we sometimes stay up all night and just talk, then watch the sunrise together.

10. I amor how I know you’ll always be there when I need you to be.

11....

40

20 ways to know if a guy loves you ( for girls )

posted by aya3

1- eye contact , if you notice him staring a lot at you ..like mais than 5 times in the same dia .(unless you got a stain on your shirt)
2- if you and him were in the same area , he would be with you in every where you walk to ( like a party or a show, concerto ..etc)
3- he would sit seguinte to you in your class ( unless hes too shy )
4- he would scream or laugh out loud to get your attention .
5- he would kill to be your lab partner at school .
6 - if he says to you hi and hes all too sweaty , make sure hes nervous and that means he likes you.
7-if you drop something , he would be the first to get it for...

364

101 Ways to Annoy your Teacher

posted by simpleplan

1. When the teacher says to “take a seat”, you answer “take it where”.
2. When the teacher calls your name at roll call, you answer “Absent”.
3. When she calls roll, you answer “yo mama”.
4. When the teacher says something, you say “is that so?”
5. If you so happened to not turn in your homework say, your class pet ate it.
6. Tell your teacher you’ll turn in your homework, as soon as your parents finish doing it.
7. Tell your teacher you did not turn in your homework because you were watching TV.
8. Fold your homework into a cootie-catcher.
9. Fold your homework into a paper...

20

-39 Pranks on Teachers!-

posted by smileypop9

1.When you walk into the room, run up to the teacher and stare her in the eyes. nothing more. just keep a straight face and stare. they get quite scared.

2.Before your science class starts, put a resfriador, refrigerador that has "Human Head" written on top, on the front table. On the board write: "Class, we will be disecting a human head tommorrow, the sign up list is on my escrivaninha, mesa for the part you would like to dissect" Actually put a sign up list on her desk.

3.bring a cactus to school. Raise your hand. When called upon say the cactus has a question. look at the cactus and wait for it to say something. when it...

161

50 Things Guys Wish Girls Knew: (Guys perspective)

posted by CullenProperty

1. We aren’t mind readers!
2. We are not to be used as pawns in trying to make your girlfriends jealous.
3. When you sleep over never boss me around in cama unless it is during sex.
4. Smoking is the biggest turn off.
5. It never hurts to work out.
6. If you don’t want to hear the truth, don’t ask the question.
7. “Fine” or “whatever” is not an appropriate ending to a conversation.
8. If you want sex, just ask. (In case you didn’t already know.)
9. Don’t expect guys to say as many sweet things as they do in the movies. (It takes a lot of guys and their wives to come up with those...

149

61 Things Girls dont know about Guys- this is in a Guys Point of View

posted by milorox18

1. Guys hate sluts even though they have sex with them! (oh yeah..you're not "popular" if you've slept with mais than 5 guys..you're a HOE)

2. "Hey, are you busy?" or "Are you doing something?" ~ two phrases guys open with to stop from stammering on the phone.

3... Guys may be flirting around all dia but before they go to sleep, they always think about the girl they truly care about.

4. Before they call, guys try to plan out a little about what they're gonna say so there aren't awkward pauses, but once he's on the phone he forgets it all and makes it up as he goes.

5. Guys go crazy over a girl's...

9

Username Ideas (The majority are either dark or emo)

posted by RaininStarburst

I got bored, so here you go.

1. BlueEyedDemon

2. SuicidalSlut

3. MaliciousIntent

4. GloomyTears

5. Blacklight

6. DarkSunshine

7. FallenIsolation

8. DrowningInTears

9. DismalAngel

10. FallenSolitude

11. HopingInSolitude

12. SilentCall

13. CountingOnRain

14. CalledForMishap

15. RuefulDestiny

16. FallenAngel

17. KilledByAnAngel (I know for a fact it's taken on here por my twin sis but I made it up)

18. FlamingCore

19. Darkenin(g)InRegret (The G could be taken off if there is a 15 character like on Fanpop)

20.Itrieditathome

21. RunWithScissors

22. PlaydateWithFire (Over 15 characters but... I like it)

23. RejectedStar...

90

67 cute and funny things... (GIRLS ONLY!!)

posted by Dreamer4eva

1.In the future everyone will be famous for fifteen minutes. I'll have twenty.
2.Sometimes you make me so mad i wanna throw you in the middle of on-going traffic; but then i realize i would probably kill myself trying to save you.
3.im the type of girl who would burst out laughing in the middle of silence because of something that happened... yesterday.
4.so ill walk the plank & jump with a smile if im going down ill do it in style you wont hear me surrender.
5.the truth hurts so we lie
6.silence is golden, duct tape is silver
7.i know your probably thinking oh no she didnt but i just so totally...

132

FUNNY INSULTS..must read

posted by iluvsmj

I called your boyfriend gay and he hit me with his purse!

Roses are red violets are blue, God made me pretty, what the hell happen to you?

Right now I'm sitting here looking at you trying to see things from your point of view but I can't get my head that far up my ass.

A pretty girl can kiss a guy* a bird can kiss a butterfly* the rising sun can kiss the grass* but you my friend!! yes you!! YOU CAN kiss MY ASS*******

If you didn't have feet you wouldn't wear shoes.....then why do you wear a bra??!

mirrors don't talk but lucky for you %n they don't laugh

Poof be gone, your breath is too strong, I...

428

44 Ways to Make a Girl Happy- Guys point of View

posted by milorox18

44 Ways to Make a Girl Happy

Ladies, this will make you tear up :)
 Fellas, read all of it:)

1-Touch her waist. 
2-Talk to her. 
3-Share secrets. 
4-Give her your jacket.
 5-Kiss her slowly.

Are you remembering this?

6-Hug her. 
7-Hold her. 
8-Laugh with her. 
9-Invite her somewhere. 
10-Let her be with you when you're with your friends.

Keep reading...

11-Smile with her. 
12-Take pics with her. 
13-Pull her onto your lap. 
14-When she says she loves you more, deny it. fight back. 
15-When her friends say i amor her mais than you, deny it; fight back and hug her tight so she can't get...

7

My topo, início 100 Most Handsome Men That Ever Lived

posted by KataraLover

I never thought I would be doing a list like this because when I do lists based on looks it's on women. As a straight guy, it's easier for me to rank women than men. However, when I put my mind to something I try my best to come through. I had already done this list with women and I remember being asked if I would ever do it with men, so here it is. Keep in mind this is all just my personal opinion as a straight guy and it wasn't easy to figure out AT ALL! Please comment but be polite. Also, always comment because I worked HARD on this and during a time I had just had laser eye surgery and...

52

42 Things that will make your parents go crazy

posted by ilovepenguins

42 Things That Will Make Your Parents Go Crazy.

1. Follow them around the house everywhere...

2. Moo when they say your name...

3. Run into walls...

4. Say that wearing clothes is against your religion...

5. Stand over them at four in the morning with a huge grin on your face and say, good morning sunshine...

6. Pluck someone's hair out and yell, "DNA"...

7. Wear a sticker that says, "I'm a retard"...

8. Have 20 imaginary friends that you talk to all the time...

9. In public yell, "No Mom/Dad, I will not make out with you!!"...

10. Do what they actually tell you...

11. Jump off the roof, trying...

9

My Suicide Note.

posted by CoaxochYJ

My suicide note that I threw away cuz of my awesome friends and life I wanted to keep.

To the friends, I call my family,

By the time you read this letter, I will be only a faded memory.

A corpse on the cold bathroom floor.

It is too late for me now, and I know it.

Even as I write this letter I can feel the life draining out of me.

But I feel it, so that's something, right?

I have been dead for a while now, though you may not have noticed.

I died the night I couldn't amor you, my love.

I loved you with everything.

My heart, my body and soul.

I am sorry I wasn't good enough for you.

At least you're happy....

6

25 Fun things to do in public

posted by Bubblekat

1. Go around stores, pick up items and yell out really loudly "Who buys this CRAP anyway?!"

2. Get a cart, get on the bar below the bar you grip, and push it down the isle, extra points for running into something or someone

3. Go up to a aleatório person and say "you have pretty eyes, may I have your eyes?!" and hear to see what they say

4. Laugh randomly

5. If someones talking on a cellphone Go closer to them and start maki aleatório noises to disturb them, extra points if they hang up

6. If your near a fonte run to it and start splashing in it

7. If your mom starts nagging to you in public about the...

2

24 ways on how to be a girl pervert

posted by I-Luv-L

I'm a girl pervert!I say guys are crazy cuz they think I touch their butts!I blame it on their hormones even though I touched their butts alot!

1.Be a real pervert

2.You don't have to look like one but just act like one

3.Always when you're walking behind a guy always look at their butt!And say"say veiw" then touch it nice and gently! :)

4.They look back and ask you say'what?no way especially not your flat ass!!!!"when they turn around find another butt to look at!

5.Look at their muscles when they're wearing camisa sleeve shirts and they're doing heavy lifting

6.Take pictures as well

7.Always comment...

3

topo, início 59 Jewish Ghetto names

posted by fencingrocks

No, I'm not racist I just found it on youtube.

If you want to check it out link

59. Goldstein
58. Burgenblatt
57. Burgenstein
56. Birumbaum
55. Farbstein
54. Grepslach
53. Steinbergavinski
52. Schnitzler
51. Pupikatvitz
50. Schnitzelmacher
49. Schpoilgekatz
48. Manashevitz
47. Platzenfinkle
46. Yankelovitz
45.Shteinshtein
44. Oyvayski
43. Shmoigerberg
42. Choppedleiberman
41.Zilbershpitzanhimelfarbenfleishebien
40.Gefiltafarb
39. Gefiltashlep
38. B'Bergberg
37. Yidihevitz
36. Synagogavitz
35. Parkenfien
34. LOL they forgot this one... :D
33. Kinkenberg
32. Menachemchem
31. Rechtum
30. Along with this one
29. Docotrlawyerstein...