There used to be a rua named after Chuck Norris, but it was changed because nobody crosses Chuck Norris and lives
Every time Chuck Norris looks into a mirror it breaks. Even glass is not stupid enough to get between Chuck Norris and Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris can strangle you with a cordless phone.
Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life.
Chuck Norris died 20 years ago, Death just hasn't built up the courage to tell him yet.
Brett Farve can throw a football 50 yds. Chuck Norris can throw Brett Farve even farther.
Some magicans can walk on water, Chuck Norris can swim through land.
Chuck Norris runs until the Treadmill gets tired
Chuck Norris once urinated in a semi truck's gas tank as a joke....that truck is now known as Optimus Prime.
Chuck Norris doesn't flush the toilet, he scares the sh*t out of it
Chuck Norris can cut through a hot faca with butter
Chuck Norris and super-homem once fought each other on a bet. The loser had to start wearing his underwear on the outside of his pants.
Chuck Norris does not need Twitter...he is already following you.
Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
There is no 'Ctrl' button on Chuck Norris' computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.
Death once had a near-Chuck Norris experience
Chuck Norris put out a forest fire. using only gasoline
Chuck Norris can understand women.
They found Chuck's diary...It is now known as The Guiness Book of World Records.
Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
The Universe is constantly expanding, in a futile attempt to escape from Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris once got bit por a rattle snake...After three days of pain and agony ...the rattle snake died
Chuck Norris will never have a coração attack. His coração isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him.
The original título for Alien vs. Predator was Alien and Predator vs Chuck Norris. The film was cancelled shortly after going into preproduction. No one would pay nine dollars to see a movie fourteen segundos long.
Chuck Norris once scared a baby. To this dia that baby is still screaming in fear......his name is Justin Bieber
Chuck Norris doesn't battle... he just allows you to lose
Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.
Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. Its decendants are known today as Giraffes.
most kids pee their name into snow... Chuck Norris pisses his in concreate...
Chuck Norris jumped off a building once. The ground didn't make it..
Chuck Norris was dropped twice as a baby. First on Hiroshima, then on Nagasaki.
When Chuck Norris wants a steak, cows volunteer. It's just easier that way.
Even atheists believe in Chuck Norris
Oxygen needs Chuck Norris to survive.
There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animais Chuck Norris allows to live
Chuck Norris uses a sundial at night
Chuck Norris made a Happy Meal cry
Chuck Norris can get blackjack with one card
Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
Chuck Norris can soco a cyclops between the eyes.
Growing up Chuck Norris raised 4 turtles, we now them now as the Ninja Turtles
Chuck Norris can light a fogo por rubbing two ice-cubes together.
Chuck Norris can set ants on fogo with a magnifying glass. At night.
The Black Eyed Peas used to be called "The Peas"... until they met Chuck Norris.
the dinossauros made Chuck Norris mad...once
Chuck Norris once roundhoused a planet so hard and so fast it burst into flames, today it is known as the sun
Windows 7 was Chuck Norris' idea
Curiosity didn't kill the cat..... Chuck Norris did.
When Chuck Norris was born he slapped the doctor to test his reflexes.
Chuck Norris can cook minuto arroz in 30 seconds
When Bruce Banner's angry he turn into the Hulk. When the Hulk's angry he turns into Chuck Norris
Every time Chuck Norris looks into a mirror it breaks. Even glass is not stupid enough to get between Chuck Norris and Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris can strangle you with a cordless phone.
Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life.
Chuck Norris died 20 years ago, Death just hasn't built up the courage to tell him yet.
Brett Farve can throw a football 50 yds. Chuck Norris can throw Brett Farve even farther.
Some magicans can walk on water, Chuck Norris can swim through land.
Chuck Norris runs until the Treadmill gets tired
Chuck Norris once urinated in a semi truck's gas tank as a joke....that truck is now known as Optimus Prime.
Chuck Norris doesn't flush the toilet, he scares the sh*t out of it
Chuck Norris can cut through a hot faca with butter
Chuck Norris and super-homem once fought each other on a bet. The loser had to start wearing his underwear on the outside of his pants.
Chuck Norris does not need Twitter...he is already following you.
Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
There is no 'Ctrl' button on Chuck Norris' computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.
Death once had a near-Chuck Norris experience
Chuck Norris put out a forest fire. using only gasoline
Chuck Norris can understand women.
They found Chuck's diary...It is now known as The Guiness Book of World Records.
Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
The Universe is constantly expanding, in a futile attempt to escape from Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris once got bit por a rattle snake...After three days of pain and agony ...the rattle snake died
Chuck Norris will never have a coração attack. His coração isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him.
The original título for Alien vs. Predator was Alien and Predator vs Chuck Norris. The film was cancelled shortly after going into preproduction. No one would pay nine dollars to see a movie fourteen segundos long.
Chuck Norris once scared a baby. To this dia that baby is still screaming in fear......his name is Justin Bieber
Chuck Norris doesn't battle... he just allows you to lose
Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.
Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. Its decendants are known today as Giraffes.
most kids pee their name into snow... Chuck Norris pisses his in concreate...
Chuck Norris jumped off a building once. The ground didn't make it..
Chuck Norris was dropped twice as a baby. First on Hiroshima, then on Nagasaki.
When Chuck Norris wants a steak, cows volunteer. It's just easier that way.
Even atheists believe in Chuck Norris
Oxygen needs Chuck Norris to survive.
There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animais Chuck Norris allows to live
Chuck Norris uses a sundial at night
Chuck Norris made a Happy Meal cry
Chuck Norris can get blackjack with one card
Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
Chuck Norris can soco a cyclops between the eyes.
Growing up Chuck Norris raised 4 turtles, we now them now as the Ninja Turtles
Chuck Norris can light a fogo por rubbing two ice-cubes together.
Chuck Norris can set ants on fogo with a magnifying glass. At night.
The Black Eyed Peas used to be called "The Peas"... until they met Chuck Norris.
the dinossauros made Chuck Norris mad...once
Chuck Norris once roundhoused a planet so hard and so fast it burst into flames, today it is known as the sun
Windows 7 was Chuck Norris' idea
Curiosity didn't kill the cat..... Chuck Norris did.
When Chuck Norris was born he slapped the doctor to test his reflexes.
Chuck Norris can cook minuto arroz in 30 seconds
When Bruce Banner's angry he turn into the Hulk. When the Hulk's angry he turns into Chuck Norris
when that angel sits on my shoulder
whispers into my coração
a peace , a harmony
a bliss feeling of out of control
the angel appears to you in form of desire
you float along with the force of ...
woooooooooooooooo
you jump about
cos you cant sit down
the power of jolly drunk without the drink
the power to make others happy
this angel with her good intensions
will make you fly
the angel will make you cry
the angel will make you feel how others feel
so you can empathise
and be ver wise in emotionial terms
theres an internal war
between the angel and the death
they fight feroususly
but they dont even relise
they have both already lost
whispers into my coração
a peace , a harmony
a bliss feeling of out of control
the angel appears to you in form of desire
you float along with the force of ...
woooooooooooooooo
you jump about
cos you cant sit down
the power of jolly drunk without the drink
the power to make others happy
this angel with her good intensions
will make you fly
the angel will make you cry
the angel will make you feel how others feel
so you can empathise
and be ver wise in emotionial terms
theres an internal war
between the angel and the death
they fight feroususly
but they dont even relise
they have both already lost
"I promise my dear that i will tell no one of what you will tell me today " said the man .
"Alright but you will not like what i tell you .' 'I do not know where to begin ."
"Just start with your name I am willing to listen " said the man " i am doctor after all."
"ok , my name is Melody Willgrove and i am a werewolf "
alright if you want hear mais . tell me because that was just a prologue .sorry if it bored u
LOVE them :D
A Really Bad Day
There was this guy at a bar, just looking at his drink. He stays like that for half of an hour.
Then, this big trouble-making truck driver steps seguinte to him, takes the drink from the guy, and just drinks it all down. The poor man starts crying. The truck driver says, "Come on man, I was just joking. Here, I'll buy you another drink. I just can't stand to see a man cry."
"No, it's not that. This dia is the worst of my life. First, I fall asleep, and I go late to my office. My boss, outrageous, fires me. When I leave the building, to my car, I found out it was stolen. The police said that they can do nothing. I get a cab to return home, and when I leave it, I remember I left my wallet and credit cards there. The cab driver just drives away."
"I go home, and when I get there, I find my wife in cama with the gardener. I leave home, and come to this bar. And just when I was thinking about putting an end to my life, you show up and drink my poison."
There was this guy at a bar, just looking at his drink. He stays like that for half of an hour.
Then, this big trouble-making truck driver steps seguinte to him, takes the drink from the guy, and just drinks it all down. The poor man starts crying. The truck driver says, "Come on man, I was just joking. Here, I'll buy you another drink. I just can't stand to see a man cry."
"No, it's not that. This dia is the worst of my life. First, I fall asleep, and I go late to my office. My boss, outrageous, fires me. When I leave the building, to my car, I found out it was stolen. The police said that they can do nothing. I get a cab to return home, and when I leave it, I remember I left my wallet and credit cards there. The cab driver just drives away."
"I go home, and when I get there, I find my wife in cama with the gardener. I leave home, and come to this bar. And just when I was thinking about putting an end to my life, you show up and drink my poison."
I made this list before, but I guess I deleted it. Not sure why.. But it gives me an excuse to do again.. I hope I can do it better too..
10: NORMAN BATES:
Only reason he's last is because I never watched the movies, I don't know the francise. But come on, it's Psycho, of coarse it goes on the list. To the meme'd to hell violin, to the famish twist he was a crossdresser with dividido, dividir personality. This movie is a icon, it's been studied and talked about to death..
9: VALEK:
While he's no Pazuzu (but who is), Valek is in my opinion the best...
continue reading...
10: NORMAN BATES:
"We all go a little mad sometimes."
Only reason he's last is because I never watched the movies, I don't know the francise. But come on, it's Psycho, of coarse it goes on the list. To the meme'd to hell violin, to the famish twist he was a crossdresser with dividido, dividir personality. This movie is a icon, it's been studied and talked about to death..
9: VALEK:
While he's no Pazuzu (but who is), Valek is in my opinion the best...
