A Million amor Songs Later

A/N: Right oi guys Yes it's me the WORLD'S WORST UPDATER. First I just have to say I'm sorry for how crappy an updater I am but I've been mais busy than usual the last few weeks. I'm redecorating my bedroom and I've been chucking out all my crap and lixo that I don't need and getting it all in order took me two days, and I've been busy composição literária my novel for a thing me and my friend are doing, we both write a book then we swap it and read each others cos we both want to be writers so to get some opinions on it cos none of our other friends are willing to read it and I've just had a weekend holiday with my cousins so busy busy busy. So anyway I'm sorry again but this is probably the speed I will be updating from now on. Once every two weeks probably. So thank you so much for the readers that are still here. Thank you so much. So enjoy. xoxo

Chapter 19: There is a reason

        Morning broke and it was back to reality. Horrible reality. Awful reality. Never wanting to live again reality. Nate was going to hit the roof, or even worse, no it was guaranteed it was going to be worse. He was not going to find out what had happened the night before. Blair sat up in her and Nate's bed, she gazed through the window at the city with only her thoughts to accompany her.
She just could not believe she had done it again. Again being the operative word. She thought why? For God sake why? Her life was going great... Without Chuck Bass. She didn't need him.
After a while thinking about that thought actually her life had been pretty boring. That was one word Blair never thought she would use in the same sentence as her own name. Blair was far from boring, when she was with Chuck Bass. They had spark, passion, they had fights but it was worth it just for the making up, even though she and Nate didn't have spark or fireworks, they didn't need that right? Not every relationship needs it. She thought of the answer to that pergunta but then as the morning sun shone onto Chuck face who lay beside her, he finally woke. Now came the hard part.
“You have to go!”
Blair mumbled to him.
“What?”
He yawned. Blair rolled her eyes and got out of cama quickly before he had chance to stop her.
“You have to go!!”
“You can't do this to me twice”
Chuck finally awoke properly and realized Blair was going reverting back to old stubborn, denial self.
“I'm sorry but you have to get out of here. Nate will be back in a few hours”
“And.. Let him find out”
Chuck finally got out of cama and decided if they were going to argue he may as well get dressed.
“No!”
Blair turned around and yelled even louder at him.
“You know there is a reason you keep coming back to me” He shouted after her as she ran out of the door. As soon as she did and realized what she had done. The scale of the destruction that this was going to lead too. She burst out in tears. “I wont be your segundo choice anymore Blair. Tell Nate or I will”. He came out of the bedroom all dressed and fixing his tie.
“You can't do that”
“Can, and will”
“You wont because you don't want to hurt me”
Blair tried reverse psychology, Chuck knew her too well.
“If it gets me you, it's worth it”
“Well it wont because I'll hate you”
“That's a risk I'm willing to take”
Blair just stood still for the seguinte few seconds, she mumbled a few times trying to come up with some unconvincing lie or something to get Chuck to change his mind, but she finally yelled back.
“Why are you trying to ruin my life?”
“I'm trying to save your life Blair. Can't you see if you marry Nate you're making the biggest mistake of your life”
Chuck grabbed a hold of her hand and tried to convince her he was doing the right thing.
“It's my mistake to make”
She pulled away.
“Stop being so stubborn”
“Just get out of here”
Every step Chuck took closer to Blair she took one step back. He noticed and decided to get it over and done with. Nate was going to know, even if it made Blair hate him. He walked to the door and muttered,
“You know being Blair Waldorf's one night stand is not something I want to be”
“Get out!”
As soon as he walked out the door Blair just wanted to run straight out the door after him, yell at him tell him what a fool he was being. Nate didn't have to know a thing, but of course that didn't matter. Nothing was going to stop Chuck.
        Blair could not keep it in anymore. Nate had arrived início and had gone to work, he said Hi and that was it, but Nate wasn't the only one arriving home.
“What happened?”
Serena's eyes widened in shock as her jaw dropped open. Blair had started the story of the anterior evening and Serena knew where it was going but didn't want to believe the old Blair was back.
“Serena I don't know what to do”
Blair broke down in tears seguinte to her best friend.
“What happened last night?”
“I stayed with Chuck”
Blair bent her head down in shame, knowing Serena was going to be judgemental.
“Oh Blair, no”
“I don't know why I keep doing it. It's not fair to Nate”
“No it's not Blair, I can't believe your doing this! How long has it been going on?”
Serena was getting angry with Blair after all Nate was her friend too.
“It was only once...If I'm lying, twice”
“Oh so that's okay! This isn't high school Blair! You'll break his coração you know that”
Blair tried to get Serena back on her side but it wasn't going to work.
“I'm not trying too”
“Just pick one okay, stop toying with both of them. If Nate found out you had a one night stand and with Chuck of all people, in the world you chose Chuck actually yeah you could have had anyone, Why Chuck?”
Serena realized as she asked that final pergunta how stupid of a pergunta it was.
“I don't know”
Blair shook her head.
“Well know Blair, You're not hurting Nate again, he's my friend”
“Sounds like you want it to be more”
Blair muttered under her breath just to try make herself feel less guilty.
“Oh no! Don't start Blair! I'm just being a good friend. Anyway you have no place to start accusing me”
Just as their argument got going, an even bigger one was about to erupt across town. Chuck's limo pulled up at Nate's office an Chuck started to get cold feet after all he wasn't trying to hurt Nate he was trying to save Blair. Nate would understand wouldn't he? He drove around the block three times before he got the courage to get out and for once in his life tell the truth.
“Nate”
Chuck gingerly greeted him.
“Hey Chuck what's up?”
Nate shook his hand as he was pacing around his office.
“I need to talk to you”
“Okay, shoot make it quick though, I've got to get home”
“I don't know how to start. It's mais of a confession...”
The coward in Chuck was starting to surface and he took a few steps closer to the door to make his getaway.
“Why what have you done?”
Nate stopped walking around and gave Chuck his full attention.
“I... Nate listen I didn't mean to... It just happened”
Chuck was mumbling and the look on his face was all too familiar to Nate. A few mais mumbling came from Chuck's mouth not making any sense. Until Nate paused him and the penny finally dropped.
“Blair's in this confession isn't she?”
“Yes... Me and Blair, last night... We... We kind of...”
He continued to mutter and mumble with the wording.
“Ha! What is this? A joke?”
Nate chuckled worryingly.
“No. I'm sorry”
“Hell you are!”
He knew it was true from the look on Chuck's face, he couldn't bare to look at Nate. He now knew maybe this wasn't worth it.
“We didn't mean to hurt...”
“You took her from me again?”
Nate grabbed onto Chuck and pushed him in the mural grabbing at his shirt.
“I took her from you once from then she's been no one else's”
After that line Chuck knew what he had coming. Nate's hate and anger and devastation grew even mais and he threw it all at Chuck in the form of a fist to his face.
“I forgave you the first time, now it's over”
Nate let go of Chuck and made his way towards the door.
“What about Blair?”
Chuck asked trying to stop the blood from pouring out of his now broken nose.
“As far as I can tell you two deserve each other”
Nate slammed the door on his way out. Now that he had dealt with Chuck, his seguinte port of call was his so called perfect fiancé.
        Serena must have left in a huff because when Nate finally arrived at his início sweet início there was only Blair. As soon as Nate stepped through the door the look on his face said a million words. Blair closed her eyes and took a deep breath knowing what she was in for.
“Did you sleep with him?”
“What?”
She said with a smile atuação dumb.
“Tell me the truth Blair! Did you sleep with Chuck last night?”
Nate yelled.
“No!”
Blair shouted back shaking her head.
“You're lying!”
“No”
“It's true isn't it?!”
Nate's voice lowered, he became calmer and asked her the same pergunta again.
“No”
Blair maintained her 'innocence'.
“My God it is!”
Nate shook his head and walked into another room barely able to keep himself from crying. Blair wanted to follow him but she thought that would only make things a hell of a lot worse, so she left him there.
        It had been half an hour. Not a word out of Nate. Blair didn't know what to do, should she speak to him or not? Would that make it worse or better? Things couldn't be any worse could they? Asking herself all these perguntas stopped Blair from noticing Nate had stepped back into the living room and he stood in front of her.
“I'll ask you one mais time. Did you sleep with him?”
por now he was crying, maybe that would finally get Blair to admit the truth he had thought.
“Yes”
The time for lying was over, she could see Nate was broken, she had to at least be honest with him.
“I'm done”
Nate placed his palms together and walked away from Blair and towards the door.
“Nate don't do this please”
Blair held onto his hand and tried to stop him from leaving her.
“As I said to him you two deserve each other!”
Nate grabbed onto her hands and pushed her away from him as he left his início and his fiancé.
        The seguinte few hours were the worst of Blair's life. She had never felt this low her entire life. She had cried enough to cause a rainfall, she spent an hora thinking about how she was going to get back at Chuck for ruining her life but then realizing thinking about Chuck was just making things so much worse. Another hora spent crying into the sofá pillows. Then she found a box full of fotografias of her and Nate together. Happy. Things were never going to get like that again.
Then after that she had tried to get things off her mind, she went back to the drenched sofá and turned on the TV until there was a knock at the door. She whispered,
“Nate”
She got up and smiled thinking he had calmed down but her joy was short lived when she opened it and saw Chuck standing there.
“Get the hell away from me”
She shut the door before he had a chance to say a word.
“Blair let me explain”
He yelled through the door.
“What's to explain? You ruined my life”
The few tears that were left began to fall down her cheeks again.
“You'll thank me in the long run”
“How do you get that conclusion? Thanks to you my wedding is off”
She lent backwards onto the door and fell the door.
“Good”
Chuck mumbled.
“Good?!”
Blair yelled angrily back at him.
“Yeah. You don't amor him”
“Of course I do”
She convinced herself.
“No you don't, stop trying to kid yourself. If you loved him you would never in a million years have stayed with me last night”
Chuck tried his best to make Blair see sense.
“Go início Chuck, I don't want you here”
Blair pulled the last of the tissues she had in the box and dried her eyes.
“I'll sit here all night Blair. I'm not going anywhere”
“Then you'll have a long wait”
        Chuck kept his word. The seguinte few hours Blair went back into the bedroom and tried her best to sleep but it wasn't working, she tried everything to get to sleep but nothing worked. Serena was never going to talk to her again, she had no idea where Nate was and Chuck baixo was camped outside her door.
It felt like High School again.
Blair took a look through the eye hole in the door as she paced around the apartment and saw Chuck was still there, he was also pacing the corridor. She thought she may as well talk to him, he obviously wasn't going anywhere.
“Are you still here?”
She opened the door.
“I told you I'm not going anywhere”
“Please just go”
Blair begged him to leave.
“I'm not going anywhere until you talk to me”
“Well you'll be waiting forever then”
Blair folded her arms.
“Fine. I'll sit here all night”
“Urgh!! Fine”. She finally gave in and said, “Say what you want to say and go”
“I'm not going to say I'm sorry, cos I'm not”
“I know you're not”
Blair laughed thinking of the Chuck she used to know in high school, this was that Chuck again. Not caring who he hurt.
“I told you I amor you last night for a reason. I wasn't lying”
Blair didn't realize it but while he was telling her his feels he held onto her hand.
“Why now? Huh why not back then when it mattered! You couldn't have chosen a worse time”
Blair yelled frustrated with herself and with Chuck's bad timing.
“No Blair you couldn't have chosen a worse time. I was always here. I never stopped. It was you”
Chuck finally told her the truth, how things really were. The truth was he had never ever stopped loving her, she is the one who left him. It was never over for him. Just as Blair noticed he was holding her hand she could have pulled away, but she didn't. She held on, but that was the worse thing she could have done. Just as she did her fiancé arrived back to find his worst nightmare standing on his door step.
“Isn't this nice!?”
Nate grinned at them both, just as Blair noticed Nate was standing right in front of her and she was holding onto Chuck's hand she pulled away but it made no difference. Chuck knew it was over. Nate knew it was over. Blair was still indenial, she still had hope thinking this break up wasn't going to happen, but in truth that break up was invertible just like Blair and Chuck.


TO BE CONTINUED...


A/N: Right so world's worst update has just become the worlds worst writer! I've just re-read that and it's pretty much the worst I have ever written in my life! I'm so full of shame right not but I can not write another chapter, It'll kill me so FEEL FREE TO BASH ME! So I know pretty annoying chapter, but seguinte one will be worse. I've got the gist of what is going to happen so there are a few mais chapters and the epilogue left. So please do bare with me, and please do leave me your comments and feel free to insult me cos after this chapter I really deserve it. So yeah that's it. Thank you xoxo