I have to get us out, away from Forks. The memory of Jacob is still here, hurting me to the core. His funeral was short, sad, and a memory I will try so hard to forget.
I stood por the ditch, dug in the reservation grave yard, clutching the tiny little baby in my arms. Jake's coffin was unusually big because he died in lobo form. His broken body a reminder of his death. There was no way to cover up the scars, no way to hide his tragic death. His warm body looked so unusually cold.
The whole time, Micha's green eyes gazed up at me, his warm ruddy skin presses against my chest. He looks so much like Jacob, it moves me to tears. I amor him so much that I would rather die than see him go like his dad.
I glance at the berço seguinte to our bed. His tiny little chest is barely moving up and down. He needs to be a way from all this pain, somewhere that we have never been. America seems too familiar, almost like no matter what state your in, it all seems the same.
We could go to Europe, not that we could afford that, and being close to the Volturi would sting. But I need to get away from this hell hole.
Little tears form at the corner of my eyes, as I begin to loose my self. Any memory of him is just too hard to bare. I can almost feel him sitting seguinte to me.
I can't eat anymore, not with the pain that seeps through me. Every bit I take in is for the benefit of my son. He needs energy, and I am supposed to provide it. Just thinking of comida makes me want to churn.
Little cries escape his lips, and I know that he is awake. I reach in to the berço and scoop him up into my arms. He stops crying instantly. I almost feel like he knows that Jake is dead, like he understands my misery, or that something is missing.
"You need a daddy." I whisper as I rock him back and forth. His little green eyes still piercing through my soul.
"How do you do that," I whisper, "how, my sweet little boy?" He still stares at me. It is hard to look away.
I smile at him and he seems to accept this as recovery. He closes his eyes and sleeps again. It's like he is making sure I am okay, and when I am okay again, he is content.
I place him back in the berço and continue my thoughts of moving. We could got to Canada, but then I think of how Jake lived there for a while, and drop that idea. Maybe South America, but that's too warm. I would feel like he was present at all times.
Maybe we could go to Ireland. There is nothing that reflects Forks there. I feel a tiny bit of joy at my idea. But then I come back to, we can't afford it.
I glance at Micah again and suddenly feel so much urgency to get out, that it is hard to bear.
I get up off the cama and grab a big duffel bag from the closet and set it on the bed. Then I begin to pile my clothes in the bag. I add a few of Micha's things and close it shut. seguinte I grab a smaller bag and fill it with diapers ect.
I glance back at Micah and see that his eyes are open, and he is staring at me. I walk over to him, and lift him from the crib. I berço him as I pack the last of our things.
Once I am finished I place him in his car assento and load the bags into the back of the car.
I hop in the car and pull out of the drive way.
Just as we begin down the road, my phone starts ringing. I pick it up and see that it is my dad.
"Hey Dad." I answer the phone as I drive.
"Nessie, we were just calling to check up on you and Micah. Are you okay?" He sounds worried and sad for me. I would feel the same in his shoes, but the sympathy makes it worse.
"Were leaving. I can't take being here anymore. It is too hard." I speed up a little as I speak.
"Nessie, I know that your grieving, but are you sure you need to leave town?" I can tell that the rest of them are listening.
"Yes, Dad. I can't take it. It gets hard to breathe sometimes." I feel my self choking up at my words.
I reach up and wipe my eyes. It is a good thing were alone and not with them in person because I don't think I could keep my self together.
"I can't handle this constant misery," I continue. "It is literally killing me."
"Let us pay for your trip." He finally says after a long pause.
"No, Dad, I can't take money from you. You know how I feel about that." I pull out of the reservation and onto the main high way.
"Let it be your early birthday present. It is hard not sit back and not help you at all." He is earnest for sure, and I almost consider it but the idea still sickens me.
"Thanks, but no. I have the money to pay for a hotel room and food. We'll be fine, and I'll call in to let you know whats going on.
I wait for his response and finally hear a sigh, which counts as a response for me.
"I amor you Dad." I say softly.
"Love you too, Nessie." He hangs up the phone, but I listen to the dial tone for sometime.
~Later~
We made it to Gresham, Oregon. It is right on the border, but it is still away from Washington.
The town isn't too big, but still larger that Forks. Which makes it a perfect place for a single mom and her baby.
Some of the people looked at us in wonder. Like they hadn't seen people like us before. It was weird, even though I am not a vampire anymore, my skin is still pale white. It is almost like I still look the same but don't drink, blood, anymore. thinking about it still grosses me out. I got that from my mom.
"Hello Miss, how can I help you." I hate how she says Miss. Can you not see the ring on my finger lady?
"It's Mrs." I clarify.
"Oh I'm sorry. What can I do for you?" She is a little too pleasant for my taste.
"I need a room for one please." I notice her glance at Micah.
"Have you and your husband separated?" She smiles sympathetically.
"No, he was killed." I look down at my shoes after I speak.
"Oh my, I'm so sorry for your loss."
"Anyways, can we get a room?" She suddenly jerks up as if she was in a trance or something.
"Ah, yes. We have two available. One on the segundo floor, and one on the fourth. Though the one on the fourth will be taken tomorrow."
"We'll take the segundo floor please." I pull out my credit card as she speaks.
"That will be 129 dollars." I hand her my card and watch her slide it through the machine.
She hands it back to me, along with a key, and map of Gresham.
"Enjoy your stay." She calls after me. With the duffel on one arm and Micah on my other, we head to our room.
It will be nice to sleep after the long drive, and maybe get over my nightmares.
I stood por the ditch, dug in the reservation grave yard, clutching the tiny little baby in my arms. Jake's coffin was unusually big because he died in lobo form. His broken body a reminder of his death. There was no way to cover up the scars, no way to hide his tragic death. His warm body looked so unusually cold.
The whole time, Micha's green eyes gazed up at me, his warm ruddy skin presses against my chest. He looks so much like Jacob, it moves me to tears. I amor him so much that I would rather die than see him go like his dad.
I glance at the berço seguinte to our bed. His tiny little chest is barely moving up and down. He needs to be a way from all this pain, somewhere that we have never been. America seems too familiar, almost like no matter what state your in, it all seems the same.
We could go to Europe, not that we could afford that, and being close to the Volturi would sting. But I need to get away from this hell hole.
Little tears form at the corner of my eyes, as I begin to loose my self. Any memory of him is just too hard to bare. I can almost feel him sitting seguinte to me.
I can't eat anymore, not with the pain that seeps through me. Every bit I take in is for the benefit of my son. He needs energy, and I am supposed to provide it. Just thinking of comida makes me want to churn.
Little cries escape his lips, and I know that he is awake. I reach in to the berço and scoop him up into my arms. He stops crying instantly. I almost feel like he knows that Jake is dead, like he understands my misery, or that something is missing.
"You need a daddy." I whisper as I rock him back and forth. His little green eyes still piercing through my soul.
"How do you do that," I whisper, "how, my sweet little boy?" He still stares at me. It is hard to look away.
I smile at him and he seems to accept this as recovery. He closes his eyes and sleeps again. It's like he is making sure I am okay, and when I am okay again, he is content.
I place him back in the berço and continue my thoughts of moving. We could got to Canada, but then I think of how Jake lived there for a while, and drop that idea. Maybe South America, but that's too warm. I would feel like he was present at all times.
Maybe we could go to Ireland. There is nothing that reflects Forks there. I feel a tiny bit of joy at my idea. But then I come back to, we can't afford it.
I glance at Micah again and suddenly feel so much urgency to get out, that it is hard to bear.
I get up off the cama and grab a big duffel bag from the closet and set it on the bed. Then I begin to pile my clothes in the bag. I add a few of Micha's things and close it shut. seguinte I grab a smaller bag and fill it with diapers ect.
I glance back at Micah and see that his eyes are open, and he is staring at me. I walk over to him, and lift him from the crib. I berço him as I pack the last of our things.
Once I am finished I place him in his car assento and load the bags into the back of the car.
I hop in the car and pull out of the drive way.
Just as we begin down the road, my phone starts ringing. I pick it up and see that it is my dad.
"Hey Dad." I answer the phone as I drive.
"Nessie, we were just calling to check up on you and Micah. Are you okay?" He sounds worried and sad for me. I would feel the same in his shoes, but the sympathy makes it worse.
"Were leaving. I can't take being here anymore. It is too hard." I speed up a little as I speak.
"Nessie, I know that your grieving, but are you sure you need to leave town?" I can tell that the rest of them are listening.
"Yes, Dad. I can't take it. It gets hard to breathe sometimes." I feel my self choking up at my words.
I reach up and wipe my eyes. It is a good thing were alone and not with them in person because I don't think I could keep my self together.
"I can't handle this constant misery," I continue. "It is literally killing me."
"Let us pay for your trip." He finally says after a long pause.
"No, Dad, I can't take money from you. You know how I feel about that." I pull out of the reservation and onto the main high way.
"Let it be your early birthday present. It is hard not sit back and not help you at all." He is earnest for sure, and I almost consider it but the idea still sickens me.
"Thanks, but no. I have the money to pay for a hotel room and food. We'll be fine, and I'll call in to let you know whats going on.
I wait for his response and finally hear a sigh, which counts as a response for me.
"I amor you Dad." I say softly.
"Love you too, Nessie." He hangs up the phone, but I listen to the dial tone for sometime.
~Later~
We made it to Gresham, Oregon. It is right on the border, but it is still away from Washington.
The town isn't too big, but still larger that Forks. Which makes it a perfect place for a single mom and her baby.
Some of the people looked at us in wonder. Like they hadn't seen people like us before. It was weird, even though I am not a vampire anymore, my skin is still pale white. It is almost like I still look the same but don't drink, blood, anymore. thinking about it still grosses me out. I got that from my mom.
"Hello Miss, how can I help you." I hate how she says Miss. Can you not see the ring on my finger lady?
"It's Mrs." I clarify.
"Oh I'm sorry. What can I do for you?" She is a little too pleasant for my taste.
"I need a room for one please." I notice her glance at Micah.
"Have you and your husband separated?" She smiles sympathetically.
"No, he was killed." I look down at my shoes after I speak.
"Oh my, I'm so sorry for your loss."
"Anyways, can we get a room?" She suddenly jerks up as if she was in a trance or something.
"Ah, yes. We have two available. One on the segundo floor, and one on the fourth. Though the one on the fourth will be taken tomorrow."
"We'll take the segundo floor please." I pull out my credit card as she speaks.
"That will be 129 dollars." I hand her my card and watch her slide it through the machine.
She hands it back to me, along with a key, and map of Gresham.
"Enjoy your stay." She calls after me. With the duffel on one arm and Micah on my other, we head to our room.
It will be nice to sleep after the long drive, and maybe get over my nightmares.
i couldn't let myself even think for a segundo that i could ease Rosalies Pain.
i never thought that anyone could, not even Emmett at his full best, and here i sit with everything she ever wanted, and i dont even want it. how could i be so selfish to tie the knot and give up the chance that i might regret for a long time adn might risk a wonderful friendship.
What about Alice, and esme? They may not have asked but i know they would pass up the oppurtunitie.
And what about myself. I've already had a baby, ive got a daughter, but i will regret this later too.
I have the most precious gift for a vampire in my grasp and idont want it, if only i could give it away.
What would Happen to me, if i did use this. would i die, really truely die,
and jacob, his pack wouldnt not agree. i cant please anyone.
"Bella" i tunefull voice whispered outside.
i never thought that anyone could, not even Emmett at his full best, and here i sit with everything she ever wanted, and i dont even want it. how could i be so selfish to tie the knot and give up the chance that i might regret for a long time adn might risk a wonderful friendship.
What about Alice, and esme? They may not have asked but i know they would pass up the oppurtunitie.
And what about myself. I've already had a baby, ive got a daughter, but i will regret this later too.
I have the most precious gift for a vampire in my grasp and idont want it, if only i could give it away.
What would Happen to me, if i did use this. would i die, really truely die,
and jacob, his pack wouldnt not agree. i cant please anyone.
"Bella" i tunefull voice whispered outside.
i like the movie ebcause its fantastic and romance
.. i amor the amor stories in filmes :)
andd for this..and the actor play their roles good :)
what you think about edward,bella,jacob,alice,rosalie,emet, and for the others :)
what is your favourite twilight vampire??
why you like your favourite vampire?
do you read the books?
do you lovve the books?
what is your favourite book from twilight
what you think about edward and bella like a couple??
what you want to write about the movie,write here
give the ideas,and if you want suggest some play for twilight in this club :)
and invite you friends ;d :) to write in the artigo
.. i amor the amor stories in filmes :)
andd for this..and the actor play their roles good :)
what you think about edward,bella,jacob,alice,rosalie,emet, and for the others :)
what is your favourite twilight vampire??
why you like your favourite vampire?
do you read the books?
do you lovve the books?
what is your favourite book from twilight
what you think about edward and bella like a couple??
what you want to write about the movie,write here
give the ideas,and if you want suggest some play for twilight in this club :)
and invite you friends ;d :) to write in the artigo
10 Ways to Annoy Emmett Cullen
10. Tell him he looks like a creepy stalker rapist.
9. Inform him, as politely as possible, that he has grizzly in his teeth.
8. Ask who wears the pants in his relationship.
7. Try to stab him through the coração with a stake.
6. Tell him brawn is out, scrawn is in.
5. Inquires as to how he feels to be the least-liked Cullen male.
4. When he is around, wonder aloud what Rosalie calls him in bed.
3. Ask if he is overcompensating for something with that Jeep.
2. Ask if he is overcompensating for something with those muscles.
And the Number One way to annoy Emmett Cullen?
1. When he denies the above two claims, respond with “That’s not what Rosalie saaaaaid!”
10. Tell him he looks like a creepy stalker rapist.
9. Inform him, as politely as possible, that he has grizzly in his teeth.
8. Ask who wears the pants in his relationship.
7. Try to stab him through the coração with a stake.
6. Tell him brawn is out, scrawn is in.
5. Inquires as to how he feels to be the least-liked Cullen male.
4. When he is around, wonder aloud what Rosalie calls him in bed.
3. Ask if he is overcompensating for something with that Jeep.
2. Ask if he is overcompensating for something with those muscles.
And the Number One way to annoy Emmett Cullen?
1. When he denies the above two claims, respond with “That’s not what Rosalie saaaaaid!”
10 Ways to Annoy Bella Swan
10. Ask about Mike.
9. Ask about Eric.
8. Ask about Jacob.
7. Ask about Edward.
6. After asking about all these boys, inquire as to how much she is paying them, and where in the White Pages she looked for fake fan-boys.
5. When she complains about not being a vampire, throw glitter on her and claim she sparkles just like a vampire in the sun.
4. Ask if the thought of Edward biting her makes her… happy.
3. Say that since Edward is technically dead, she is into necrophilia. Tell her that is sick and wrong, and she should stop with her weird fetishes.
2. Tell her we all know about the real reason she married Edward – the honeymoon.
And the Number One way to annoy Bella Swan?
1. Tell her that you and Jacob imprinted on each other, and are getting married. Tell her you are pregnant, and will be with him forever. Videotape the reaction.
10. Ask about Mike.
9. Ask about Eric.
8. Ask about Jacob.
7. Ask about Edward.
6. After asking about all these boys, inquire as to how much she is paying them, and where in the White Pages she looked for fake fan-boys.
5. When she complains about not being a vampire, throw glitter on her and claim she sparkles just like a vampire in the sun.
4. Ask if the thought of Edward biting her makes her… happy.
3. Say that since Edward is technically dead, she is into necrophilia. Tell her that is sick and wrong, and she should stop with her weird fetishes.
2. Tell her we all know about the real reason she married Edward – the honeymoon.
And the Number One way to annoy Bella Swan?
1. Tell her that you and Jacob imprinted on each other, and are getting married. Tell her you are pregnant, and will be with him forever. Videotape the reaction.