Warning: This is just my fantasia coming through. And some information to you; the story plays before Bella became a Vampire and there is no Nessie in sight. So its just for our little Jacob's sake, he needs some luving.

Information: Sorry for the long wait, i just really wasnt inspired. But i hope that will change por now. So have fun...

I wish i could scream
What dia of the week was it? Not that it was really important, but the point was that i hadnt left that room in about a week, or more. And always por my side was my beautiful girlfriend, the reason why my coração kept beating, Kristine. All my life i was wasting my time, hoping someone would come around that was half as great as her, and then when i didnt wait anymore.- she danced into my life. She was the one that made me complete in every aspect of my life. I didnt have to hide anything from her, and could live out my protective nature. Okay not always right in front of her face, but people got the idea. And even though i was complaining all the time about living with Vampires, i didnt find it that hard to do anymore. They were here for her, and in the end they had approved me in every way. There was no war anymore, cause Kris was my mainfocus. Jacob Black you deserve that, nah... she deserves happiness you were just around.

I was laughing a little bit, which was probably the only reason why Kristine woke up. She was curled up seguinte to me, breathing in a peaceful way. It was amazing to smell her body, a little mixture of her personal scent and sweat. So inviting, and it was so hard to resist. But from time to time i really had to let her rest. At the end of the dia she wasnt a sobrenatural creature, allthough i wasnt too sure about that. So she rolled over to me, still having her eyes closed. The only thing that told me she was awake, was the little grin around her mouth.
''You are hungry?'', she asked and i wasnt sure what she meant. Did we talk about food, or our personal favourite hobby?
''Erm... when i say no, do i go to the wrong direction?''
That made her open up her eyes, laughing so hard that i felt the cama shaking. She was leaning progressivo, para a frente and her wonderful, big lips touching my forhead, then she looked at me. Kris licked over her lips, and for the first time i saw that little devil on her face.- the one she normally only would let out when we became one. She did slide out of the bed, her perfect body was touched por sunlight and on her lowerback she had a little mark. Done por me last night, and had nothing to do with pain.
''When have we been out of this room the last time? I mean they brought us food, and we have a bathroom in here. I think we should face the world again and our family...'', she was not looking at me talking, and if i knew her reaction i would have just shut up.
To know one thing first, in all the time we had been together she had never been mad at me, but i without a doubt was able to act like an idiot. And that was probably one of my not so bright moments.
''They are not our family, they are vampires'', i kinda spit that out. And regretted it, cause the Cullens had been nothig but perfect to me. But how often did people find out that pride was getting in the way.
Kristine turned around to face me, and i had never seen that kind of look on her face. It was heartbreaking, but it only lasted for a couple of moments then there was something new there: Anger.
''Do you ever think before saying something, Jacob?''
Nothing else than that, then she had grapped some clothes getting into the bathroom. I slammed my fist against the little table, nearly breaking it. Can it get any dumber than that?. That was a tough question, but i was kinda sure i beat my own record with that move. I heard her moving around in the bathroom, which was not her style. She always was the one quiet and gentle, so i really managed to make her angry. A few moments she came out, fully dressed, but not looking at me at all. She grapped her bag moving out of our room, slamming the door behind her. I had a hard time keeping up with her, so i decided to run down her in boxers and a shirt.
''Wait'', i yelled, making sure the whole house was hearing it.
She didnt listen, so i grapped her arm with no intension to be too hard. But i sometimes forgot that she was so fragile. The moment i had her, Jasper and Emmett were appearing seguinte to her. Over the past weeks they had become over- protective when it came to Kristine. She was family to them.
''Whats the problem Jacob?'', Emmett's dark voice echoed in my head.
Since when is it your business i wanted to slam in his face, but that was the moment. So i just tried to keep calm, or find my coolness for that matter.
''I just wanted to apologize for something stupid i said.''
''Shouldnt she be used to your stupid comments por now'', without a doubt that was Rosalie. The blonde bitch, that really deserved that name. She was the real dog in that scenario, not me. I didnt pay attention, my eyes staring onto my girlfriend. Nothing had changed, we loved each other but she probably needed some air. One look in her eyes told me that, or i hoped it was that what i saw. She had turned around, and i wanted to follow but Emmett stopped me.- standing there like a brickwall.
''Why dont you let her have some time, you guys have been in your room for 9 days. Let her breath'', i was shocked, nine days had gone so quickly. I looked after her then nodded my head, allthough i wasnt happy about letting her go. It was an addiction or obsession, and i didnt see anything wrong with that. The moment before i had turned around, i saw that Jasper was following her. All my instincts came back, the lobo in me was screaming to run after her. And even though my head knew he would never hurt her, that couldnt keep me down. And again i crashed against Emmett Cullen.
''Let me go, i gotta...'', i stuttered, which was really not typical for me.
''You have to do what?'', he said. ''Nothing at all, she is part of our family. Jasper would never hurt her, actually he does that for you. He wants to sense her feelings a little bit, so she will listen to you.''
''Ungrateful dog'', again Rosalie, but then i heard someone else entering the room. Esme and Carlisle, things always seemed to be a bit brighter when they were around.
''Be quiet Rosalie. I am sure Jacob tries his best'', the clear and calm voice of the doctor. I heard a little growl of blondie, but then she left. For the first time it was pure fear that was inside of me, i needed her but what if she didnt need me as much as i thought? What if i once again managed to make a total idiot of myself? Tell me news, Jacob Black f*cked up....

The doors of my mind...
I was sitting in the garden, waiting and thinking. She didnt deserve my moods, and neither did i want to have them. But what can you do against your nature? You can work on yourself, trying to get rid of failures. I wanted to keep my paranoia going, but that was the moment when she appeared in the back of the garden. Right seguinte to her still Jasper, and his oh so broken look. It was hard to remember if he ever had smiled since we were here, but he probably wasnt the type. He had his arm around her shoulder, and for a dividido, dividir segundo i felt jealousy coming up.- i had to stop myself. He kissed the side of her head, then left her standing on her own. Her green eyes were asking me a billion of questions, she walked closer. I never knew that one sentence could cos such a mess, that probably resulted out of the fact that i never had been with someone. And that your a farmouth and smartass.
''We gotta talk'', she said, and i hated those words. She had reached me por now, her hands searching for mine. Her skin was ice cold, while mine was burning.
''Your not happy Jacob, not here'', what was she talking about? Of course, i was happy cause she was around me. But then i realized what she really was saying, she meant i wasnt happy livin with the Cullens. I couldnt lie about that, allthough i wanted.
''That doesnt change anything Kris, they can protect you so we will stay. Your good is all that matters to me...'', she interupted me, in a gentle way though.
''Thats not what i am talking about, i will stay with the Cullens. They have become my family, but i will not hold you back Jake. I think you miss your pack and LaPush. I dont wanna see you unhappy anymore, it hurts me too much.''
I was even a bigger idiot than i had realized, all this time i was hurting her. All this time she was worried about my good, and all i did was giving her weird comments about the Cullens. The damage was done, but still i could try to fix it. I wrapped both my arms around her, pulling her close to my chest. I felt her sweet breath against my chest, while i could count her heartbeat. For a momenti thought i heard her cry, but when i looked at her.- eyes were closed.
''I know i have been atuação like a total prick, Kris. I am just so used to hating them, its what is in my nature. But you are right, it doesnt make me happy to be with them. And now i finally realize why that is.''
''What you mean?'', she asked looking up to my face.
''Before i really knew them, it was so easy to hate them. Now i had to see what the problem is, there is nothing around them i could hate. Its not their failure what they are, and apart from that they are better people than i could ever be. And that makes me so angry.''
I was kinda aware that they all heard it, but the truth had to come out. I didnt wanted to lose, correction, i couldnt lose her at all. She was my life, and i really hoped she would realize that in time. And then she suprised me, like she always did.- in too many ways. I felt her fingers running over the back of my neck, little shiver running over my skin.
''Was it so hard to just let go'', the pergunta went deeper than she probably thought. Cause it meant i had let down my guard, and that was nothing i could do. I seriously wanted to shoot back some smartass comment, but nothing would come to my mind. I was too lost in her eyes, and my mind was blank for everything else. I lowered my head, moving progressivo, para a frente just a little bit, so my lips would get close to her. For the whole time i made sure she was fine with that, and allthough we had kissed thousand times, that one felt comepletly new. The softness of her was forcing me to kiss her harder, how empty life would be without that view every day. I lifted her from the ground and we both felt the mood change, as i noticed someone coming outside. Edward Cullen. And he wouldnt go away, so something must have been up. I did let go of Kristine and looked at him, seeing the worried look on his face.
''Whats the matter, Edward?'', i tried to sound calm, but the excitement about Kristine near me, make me a bit shaky.
''We got problems, its about your mother Kristine.''
''What did she do?'', she was scared, nervous and totally confused.
''She did something to the pack...'', and then i didnt hear anything anymore. The easy as i thought it was to stay away from my brothers, the harder it hits me now. Something? Why would someone just say something, instead of what had really happened. And then my mind had started to race, making plans what i could do against all that. How i was able to protect the amor of my life and my family. And then there was a scream that brought me back to reality, i looked at Kristine. And in front of my eyes she broke down, laying on the floor.- not moving.

End of Chapter Eight