Dearest The Office,
Until the writers are paid, I will feel an emptiness in my coração every Thursday. You are my favorito show and have been for a number of years. I want you to know that this letter is NOT saying goodbye. I also want you to know that I do realize how insane it is to write a letter to a televisão show and its characters. However, I am início sick and bored out of my mind, so here goes...
Michael Gary Scott: You goofy idiot. You're a loveable dumbass. You have very little class at all, as we have observed through your Hooters obsession ("I'll have the chicken breast, hold the chicken.") your inexplicable attacks towards Toby ("I hate so much about the things that you choose to be.") and your no geral, global uncouth-ness in general. I think you and Jan make a great couple in the most messed-up way possible. If you break up with her, please let it be because of something besides the fact that she doesn't like her implants. Until the strike ends, I will make sure your memory lives on forever por thinking and/or saying "That's what she said," whenever the opportunity arises.
Dwight Kurt "Danger" Schrute: You are so funny when you are being serious. You are one of the most devoted people I know. I honestly hope that you fulfill your life-long dream of dying in your escrivaninha, mesa chair. I am undecided about how to feel about your clinginess to Michael. Sometimes it's rather annyoing, and sometimes it is sweet and/or hilarious. You and Angela are a great couple. Please try to win her back without hurting Andy, as I think you two have the potential to be great friends. Your concussion-induced niceness will forever live on in my mind, as well as the hilarious things you said when being driven to the hospital ("You can't fogo me, I don't work in this van!"). I will always remember Mr. A. faca and your role as The Overkill Killer. To preserve your memory until the strike ends, I will find one person and be completely devoted to them for the rest of my life, no matter what, even if they call in sick when they're really just going to magic camp.
Jim Halpert: You are the most loveable person I know, which makes it extra sad that you are a fictional character. I have grown to accept the fact that you will forever amor Pam Beesly, and I even celebrate it. Your camera looks and clever quips will forever steal my coração like poker chips. Your undying classiness towards ridiculous people such as Michael Scott will always feed my respect for you. Your awesome pranks towards Dwight will ALWAYS make me laugh, though I believe your best prank was towards Andy. Jim, have you ever considered the fact that perhaps you are in the ceiling? I will preserve your memory until the strike ends por being as nice as possible towards all the asses I know.
Pamela Beesly: You are an amazing person. You manage to deal with people such as Michael Scott while keeping your sense of humor. You were very strong during Season 3, when Jim and Karen were together. During your speech at de praia, praia Day, my coração swelled with pride. Though I wanted to kill you for getting back together with Roy, I appreciated the fact that it made you want to be mais honest with everybody, because you used to be kind of a doormat. Continue to try and keep Angela in her place, and follow your dreams. You will be a great artist someday, and you won the coração of Jim Halpert. Nice. You've made some pretty big mistakes along the way (Casino Night) but now that you and Jim are together and pulling pranks again, I know that everything will be okay. However, breaking up with Jim would cause me to dislike you for a loooong time, unless it was for a REALLY, REALLY good reason. I will preserve your memory until the strike ends por being as honest as possible with people who are not crazy and will not try to destroy bars when I tell them the cold, hard truth.
Angela Martin: You are a warrior, no matter how bitchy you may be towards Phyllis. You find a need to fight for your religious beliefs, your cats, and your man. Though I think it was rather foolish of you to start dating Andy, I understand your hurt over Dwight's mercy-killing of Sprinkles. I hope Garbage is doing okay. I am anxious to know what you named him, even though I amor the name Garbage. In order to preserve your memory until the strike ends, I will judge as many people as possible.
Jan Levinson (No Gould): You are obviously a very messed up person. That's the only way you could possibly put up with a guy like Michael Scott. Though I am upset for you that you lost your corporate position to Ryan (ew.), I enjoy the new, lazy, poor version of your character. Plus I loves those sweats and sunglasses you wore in Money. In order to preserve your memory, I will attempt to be both professional and completely insane at the same time.
Andy Bernard, Kevin Malone, Meridith Palmer, Oscar Martinez, Creed Bratton, Phyliss Vance, Stanley Hudson, Kelly Kapoor and Toby Flenderson: Most of you are completely insane. Those sort-of-normal ones, I wish you happiness as you deal with the craziness that is the Scranton branch. You are all hilarious and I amor you dearly. I have no idea how i will preserve the memories of all of you. I am just one person.
Roy Anderson & Karen Phillipelli: I don't care for either of you. At all. You stopped Jim and Pam from being together. Though sometimes you are good people, you both have those qualities that make me hate you.
Roy: You were just a horrible person overall, especially towards Pam. She was a great person and you took her for granted. Also, you tried to beat the crap out of Jim. And I will never forgive you for either of those things.
Karen: I know you have a good sense of humor and very pretty good with Jim, but you called Pam a cadela, puta and you played the "Needy Girlfriend" part a couple of times. Plus, you told Jim to mover to New York and forget Pam. And for that, I will never forgive you. However, I did like you in The Initiation and Grief Counseling. But that's it.
And no, I did not forget Ryan. I decided not to feed his ego por composição literária him a letter.
The Office, I will always amor you. I honestly hope the strike ends very soon so I can continue laughing my bunda off every Thursday.
Sincerely,
jamfan4
