The FP fam Article: Thoughts

3

posted by lex_armstrong

Today i finished cleaning out my closet. As i was cleaning i found old notes,diarys,journals,calenders,and other things from my childhood. I though.."why havent i thrown this stuff away".i was keeping silly things. I looked back at the little girl i was. All my friends.What happened to them? Why did we all stop talking. Maybe because we all grew up. Then i notice that,i couldnt hardly find anything from 2010-present. Nothing written in calenders,no notes from friends,no diarys,journals,etc. Why? Where is it?. Well in 2009 i started doing something i said id never do. Go and chat online with people from all over the world that i didn't know. But what really surprised me was how close i became with them. So where are those notes,those journals,etc,you ask? Online. On a website. I lost contact with people i can see,feel ,hear everyday. Do i blame those online friends?NO. Do i blame myself? Yes. I also fell in amor with someone online. Why? i dont know..it just.....happened. Do i regret it?sometimes. But if i really wanted a bf i could go just stand on the rua and find one,not hide behind a computer screen.I never liked the thought of online dating. Too dangerous,and you never know who's on the other side of the screen. The person i was with,considering all the sites,girls/guys he "talked to",and his interest,i would never marry. It would end up like Anthony Weiner and his wife's marriage,if you follow. My friend,who is 26,has been dating guys she found online for years. She's met this guy.Cute?YES.JOB? YES. CAR?YES? OWN HOUSE?YES. And shes already in love.So what the problem you ask? They've never met. He's gonna drive down here in 2 days. I'm nervous for her. But should i be upset. No.Because ive made the same stupid mistake,but never gotten to us meeting. Being alone now feels different. Not having my internet friends....worse. I work two jobs,and volunteer at a library. But i amor to go outside and smell that fresh air and look at nature,while i look back over the years in my life. Seeing every person i met, the mistakes i made,the feelings ive hurt. If i had one wish,it would to see all those people again,to reconnect,to say"i miss you" or "im sorry". But for now i show my expression through art. I amor everyone who has hurt me,and been hurt por me.I amor the people i hate,and people who hate me. But its time to forgive and forget. Lifes to short,its time to party.I amor in my 8TH grade memory book someone wrote "Trust No Nigga Fear no bitch" I have no idea who did,but theyve must of know it was needed. If someone ask me if i recommended meeting someone online as friends,id say hell yeah(as long as their not secretly crazy,lol)... dating,*sighs*idk.too risky. You may not be their only lover,lol. Sad knowing people do it. But i know that there is someone who isnt a crazy, liar, cheating,gaming freak,lol,sorry. I just gotta wait for prince charming or Edward,lol....AND NOT ONLINE!And thats what happens when you clean your closet,lol

Alexyss_Cullen, halloula and 1 other like this

halloula I feel you hon,In the end you gotta trust your gut and fo what makes you happy . Ily <3

lex_armstrong Thx so much haz ilyt

halloula You're welcome sweetheart ♥,aww !!<3

Alexyss_Cullen I actually have that same problem..but I'm kinda scared to go lookin through all mine. They're still in Blue Ash at my moms for a reason. Carly is an unwilling partner. Maybe someday..if I ever go back to Ohio for good instead of just visits here and there when I can afford. I'd need a partner to search through all that stuff. They're sort of like the skeletons in my closet. And yeah what Haze said, trust your gut and do what makes you happy. Cause in the end when you look back you wanna be able to love the live you lived. Advice from that old fart I call Father..gosh I miss him. We're all happy for you lex. I wish we hadn't of fallen out of contact and I can probably guess it was my fault. I hope you're living life to the fullest.