Frank T. Scruggs, M.A., Ph.D., candidate
chocolate CITY:
THE BEST AFRICAN AMERICAN BLOG
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October 27th, 2010
I’m just taking a few moments here to discuss a little bit about what I know as a social scientist about flirting and how to recognize the steps. Feel free to conduct your own research and test out what you find I have written here.
Body language is quite revealing as with all of our behavioural patterns. So let first begin por saying that the bulk of social science research shows that flirting occurs in five steps which I will recount here:
STEP 1: EYE CONTACT – This is powerful and the spark or connection made here can embolden the most shy and demure person to make the seguinte step.
STEP 2: INTRODUCTION – This is mais of an approach it can take the form or a simple hello to some corny line or phrase. Many authors have written books on how to initiate conversation. When eye contact is made then the spark is already there. Women should be careful to not give too much encouragement since guys sometimes read mais into simply friendliness.
STEP 3: TOUCH – If the conversation made at step two is going well then a light will occur from the object of one’s affection (from a touch on the shoulder, the knee, the face…virtually anywhere.)
STEP 4: SYNCHRONIZED BEHAVIOUR – During the conversation the flirting usually will result in mirrored behaviour and this indicates that there is an interest.
STEP 5: CHOICE – After synchronization usually a choice will be made to end the flirtation or take it to another level…
These steps are always present but do they occur very on a very subtle level that is in no way dramatic and obvious unless one is paying careful attention and actively making observations. Flirting while appearing to be harmless can be traumatic for some people, frustrating for those on the make and cause jealousy in committed partners.
Flirting is oftentimes a prelude to sexual behaviour and others just a harmless pastime with someone we find attractive. Most flirting occurs because we find someone particularly attractive to us. Of course attraction and sexual orientation play a big part in how we approach flirting and with whom we choose to flirt and what locations we chose to initiate our flirtations.
In terms of sexual orientation one’s direction of sexual interest is what is meant in the social sciences as one’s sexual orientation.
HETEROSEXUAL ORIENTATION – when one has an erotic attraction and preference for members of the opposite sex; an individual with a homosexual orientation has an erotic attraction and preference for members of the same sex and a bisexual orientation is when one has erotic attraction and preference for members of both sexes. So now that I stated what is obvious, let me talk about attraction.
RELATIONSHIPS AND ATTRACTION
INTERPERSONAL ATTRACTION – is the tendency of one person to evaluate another person (or a symbol or an image of another) in a positive way people are attracted to those who live or work near them, whom they consider good-looking, who share their attitudes and with whom they spend significant amounts of time.
PROXIMITY ATTRACTION – the people whom live closer are mais likely to have a relationship with you than someone from far away. The closer someone is geographically, the mais attracted to one another they will be. Of course with mais mobility, i.e., automobile, air travel, and the Internet with social networking sites like Ning, Grouply, eGraft, MySpace and Yahoo 360 people now have the ability to engage in a new types of flirting, eFlirting and the choice now emerges as to whether or not they choose to travel to a person of interest’s location or vice-versa.
PHYSICAL ATTRACTIVENESS – Within segundos of seeing someone you and you alone decide whether or not someone is attractive to you personally and internally por some criteria which you hold (in other words, we, all as human beings, have an idea of the type of person who ring our sino and make our hearts beat faster and the hormones rage).
Remember these points regarding physical attractiveness:
When we regard someone as attractive then we tend to feel mais personal regard for them and ascribe mais power, status and competence to those whom we consider over those whom we do not feel are attractive to us personally.
Typically, we, as people, are first romantically and sexually attracted only to people whom we feel are attractive to us por our internal standard (later we look at qualities other than physical attributes).
Attractive people are judged mais positively than unattractive people (by cultural standards and different cultures use different criteria for attractiveness) especially when appearance is the first information we receive about a person (e.g., attractive teachers for example are judged mais favourably por students than unattractive students upon initially meeting).
Western culture is valid only in the West. Cross-cultural values differ therefore different cultures (non-Western) appraise elements of life differently. Attractiveness is therefore judged differently in other cultures. African people sometimes use Eurocentric rather Afrocentric standards to judge one another.
Research also had indicated that people prefer to encontro, data attractive people (for the most part) over unattractive people (Yes, it’s true!) .
Some studies further indicate that people seek out their own level but variables like education, intelligence, socioeconomic status, and commonality of experience play a role as well in choosing a dating/marriage partner. We do look at factors like money, education and social status in deciding about whom we choose to encontro, data and/or marry.
WHAT INITIATES THE SEX DRIVE?
Human sexual behaviour is both physiological and psychological that is both thoughts and hormones guide our sexual behaviour as human beings. Advertisers often hope to initiate buying activity por initiating your sex drive. Our thoughts direct our buying activity mais than their hormones, but the sex hormones play a very important role in sexual behaviour as well as our day-to-day decision making processes. Advertisers know if they can equate their products with sex we are mais prone to subliminally i.e. on an unconscious level choose the product we associate with sex. So as we set out and flirt with someone, we are performing both a simple and complex act.
Please feel free to add your comments and experience if you like.
