You might be a redneck if

mais than one living relative is named after a Southern Civil War general.

You think the stock market has a fence around it.

You think the O.J. trial was the big Sunkist and Minutemaid taste test.

You've ever lost a loved one to kudzu.

Your barco has not left the driveway in 15 years.

Your front porch collapses and kills mais than three dogs.

Your coffee mesa, tabela used to be a telephone cable spool.

You keep a can of Raid on the cozinha table.

You've ever used a toilet assento as a picture frame.

Your início has mais miles on it than your car.