What do you call a ovelha, ovelhas with no legs?
A cloud.
Doctor! I have a serious problem, I can never remember what i just said.
When did you first notice this problem?
What problem?
How do you know if your a red neck?
You go to the family reunon to find a date!
Yo mamma so stupid, she tried to commit suicide por jumping out her basement window.
Yo mamma so fat, every time she turns around its her b-day!!!
What is green and smells?
Hulk's fart.
How do you make a blonde's eyes sparkle?
Shine a torch into her ear...
What's the best way to kill a blonde?
Put a mirror at the bottom of the pool.
How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?
His lips are moving.
What's the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of shit?
The bucket.
You have to stay in shape. My grandmother started walking five miles a dia when she was 60. She's 97 today and we don't know where the hell she is.
I went into MacDonalds yesterday and said "I'd like some fries".
The girl at the counter said "Would you like some fries with that".
Why don't oysters give to charity?
Because they're shellfish.
How can you tell if a redneck is married?
There is tobacco spit stains on BOTH sides of his pickup truck.
What do you call a dog with no legs?
Doesn't matter... he won't come to you anyway!
Why are men like commercials?
You can't believe a word they say.
Why are men like blenders?
You need one, but you're not quite sure why.
How is a man like the weather?
Nothing can be done to change either one of them.
How many men does it take to open a can of beer?
None, it should be open when she brings it to him.
Why are guys like lava lamps?
They're fun to watch, but not very bright!
What have you done wrong if your wife walks into the living room and slaps you.
You have left the chain to long.
A cloud.
Doctor! I have a serious problem, I can never remember what i just said.
When did you first notice this problem?
What problem?
How do you know if your a red neck?
You go to the family reunon to find a date!
Yo mamma so stupid, she tried to commit suicide por jumping out her basement window.
Yo mamma so fat, every time she turns around its her b-day!!!
What is green and smells?
Hulk's fart.
How do you make a blonde's eyes sparkle?
Shine a torch into her ear...
What's the best way to kill a blonde?
Put a mirror at the bottom of the pool.
How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?
His lips are moving.
What's the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of shit?
The bucket.
You have to stay in shape. My grandmother started walking five miles a dia when she was 60. She's 97 today and we don't know where the hell she is.
I went into MacDonalds yesterday and said "I'd like some fries".
The girl at the counter said "Would you like some fries with that".
Why don't oysters give to charity?
Because they're shellfish.
How can you tell if a redneck is married?
There is tobacco spit stains on BOTH sides of his pickup truck.
What do you call a dog with no legs?
Doesn't matter... he won't come to you anyway!
Why are men like commercials?
You can't believe a word they say.
Why are men like blenders?
You need one, but you're not quite sure why.
How is a man like the weather?
Nothing can be done to change either one of them.
How many men does it take to open a can of beer?
None, it should be open when she brings it to him.
Why are guys like lava lamps?
They're fun to watch, but not very bright!
What have you done wrong if your wife walks into the living room and slaps you.
You have left the chain to long.
