Chapter 17,
****Author's note****
I know that I usually start off every chapter as the seguinte ano but; since I ended the anterior chapter in summer 2009, I thought I could just partition the rest of 2009 and all of 2010 in one chapter!
Enjoy, Alanna
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August 20, 2009,
I was sitting alone in my room at my grandmother's house when, I got a text message from Frank. He said the words I had been waiting so long to hear "get ready because I'm picking you up and were going to the recording studio to lay down some tracks." I couldn't help but smile. This all seems unreal! I can't believe I'm actually going to start a cantar career just like my father!
I ran downstairs and stopped at the mesa, tabela so I could tie my shoes. My grandmother said "well; it's nice to see that you've finally left your room!" I said "uncle Frank is coming to pick me up and were going to the recording studio!" She said "oh okay; how is Carter?" I said "I just put him down for a nap so; he shouldn't be up for a while! I know you're probably going to want to shut the fã off in my room but, keep it on because he's wrapped up in three blankets!" She asked with a confused look on her face "why three blankets? It's almost 95° outside." I said "he wouldn't let the blankets go and I didn't want to hear him cry."
Frank's car pulled up to the front gate at Havenhurst and I ran outside. I opened the passenger side door and said "this is going to be so awesome!" He said "I think we should focus on bringing your father's música back to life for the younger generation that may not know how amazing he was." I said "I agree with you; it saddens me when kids today are listening to foul music! I don't really have a lot of room to talk when it comes to that because I'm just as guilty of listening to it as they are! I really want to focus on the age group of eight and up to show them what good música is really like!" He said "that's how your dad would want you to be with your career too."
We walked inside the recording studio and Frank put an instrumental CD of some of dad's songs. He passed me a set of headphones and motioned for me to go in the sound booth. I walked inside and could hear my voice echo as I jumped with excitement. Frank said "why don't we start with something with a strong hook.
I stood there as I sang "Annie are you okay? Are you okay Annie? You've been hit by, you've been struck by… A smooth criminal!" As I sang my coração out, reality hit me! I thought to myself, wow this is really happening! I really am going to become a famous singer! I wonder if dad watching me right now wherever he is?"
I was snapped out of the trance I was in por Frank saying "that was absolutely amazing AJ; your dad wasn't kidding when he said you could sing!" We need to put out an album as soon as possible because this thing is going to be a hit! We could even get some major stars of today to do collaborations with you on some of your father's biggest hits! I still can't get over how awesome that was! This is going to be huge! I can feel it in my gut! Starting today you'll be in the studio six hours a day, after your schoolwork is done!" I smiled ear to ear and said "I forgot to tell you that I have over 1 million Twitter followers already and I've only tweeted one thing! I think they know that I'm starting my own musical career!"
August 29, 2009,
I was in the studio working on my debut album when my cell phone rang:
Me: hello grandma! What do you need? Is Carter okay?
Grandma: did you forget what today is? You better be on your way home!
Me: listen; I know it's dad's birthday but I'd rather stay here to keep my mind off of things!
Grandma: I understand that you don't want to come início but; I think it's the right thing to do AJ! Everyone would appreciate it if you came home!
Me: I don't want to because I'm not ready to deal with the fact that he's gone yet!
Grandma: it's not going to be a sad thing! I promise you that AJ! We're just going to have some cake and celebrate your dad's life! Here, Paris wants to talk to you.
Paris: AJ; will you please come home? Just for a few hours? We all miss you because we hardly see much of you since you've been in the studio recording your album!
Me: it's not that I don't want to celebrate with you guys; I just can't bring myself to realize that he's actually gone! Do you realize how different this birthday is compared to all the other ones we celebrated with dad over the years? He may be there in spirit but; he won't be there in person! I'm sorry but I just can't come home! Making this música helps me connect with dad! It makes me cope with him being gone! Goodbye; I amor you!
September 3, 2009,
I was getting ready to leave because Frank and I are headed to the local radio station to promote my cover/single to 'pretty young thing.' The song debuted at number one on the fresh artists chart and it's been exploding ever since last week!
I ran out to the car after beijar Carter's head and sat in the drivers seat. As we made our way onto the Main Rd., Frank turned on the radio and we heard "she's his PYT, pretty young thing!" I looked at Frank and said "it's so weird hearing my voice on the radio! I'm so glad you let me change the lyrics a little bit so it was altered for a girl to sing!" He said "yeah me too! It would be awkward for you saying 'she's my pretty young thing.’ “The voice on the radio said "that was Alanna Jackson with her new single PYT! Check back in 25 minutos for my exclusive interview with the King of Pop's daughter! This is your man Mac Maze and we'll be back after this word from our sponsors! Don't touch that dial!"
As Frank and I walked into the radio station, he said "since this will be your first ever interview let me give you some tips. First, answer them as honestly as possible and don't be afraid to throw some humor in there! Second, just be as natural as possible, and lastly if there's any perguntas that you don't feel comfortable answering or don't know if you should answer I'll handle it!" I said "okay; I don't think it's going to be as bad as you think it is!"
We entered a big room and a heavyset African-American man with a goatee stood up from his chair to greet us. He said "nice to finally meet you AJ!" He stared at my fauxhawk hairstyle, bright red hightop sneakers, T-shirt with a chimpanzee wearing headphones on it, and sunglasses I had sticking out of my pocket. He said "I hear that you're not the most feminine girl out there!" I laughed and said "glitter, ponies, and nail polish are definitely not my thing!" He laughed and said "yeah; I can see that! Alright, the commercial break is almost over and you'll be ready to go on air!"
As I was about to sit down in the chair opposite of him, Frank whispered in my ear "pull your pants up! Your boxers are hanging out!" I hiked my baggy jeans up and sat down. Mac said "welcome back to the most listened to radio station in all of Los Angeles! This is a Mac and as promised I'm now sitting here with Alanna Jackson! What's it feel like to have your first single 'PYT, pretty young thing be the number one requested song this week?” I spoke into the microphone that was attached to the mesa, tabela and said "oh; it's awesome man! I didn't expect it to do so well right off the bat!" He said "I just have to point out that your dad's talent has definitely rubbed off on you!" I said "thanks but; my dad will forever be the best and that's exactly how I want it to stay!" He asked "do you hope to one dia match the successes your father has achieved?" I said "I mean if it happens; it happens! I never want to outshine my dad though! My dad is the King and that is his crown, not mine!" Mac said "we have some fãs on the line that have perguntas for you! You down with that?" I said "fan questions? I didn't realize that I had legit fãs yet; yeah go ahead! I can't wait to hear them!"
Mac opened up the phone lines and said "here's our first caller, go ahead." The voice said "hi; my name is Becky and I was wondering if you are working on an official album?" I said "yeah I am!" She asked "do you know when it will be released?" I said while thinking "January of seguinte ano for sure! We just haven't settled on a specific encontro, data yet." Mac put the seguinte caller through and she asked "will you be going on tour soon either as an opening act for other artists or will you be going on your own headlining tour?" I said "well; after a few mais singles drop I'll be having promotional shows all over California and if all goes well a tour of my own will definitely be in the near future!" Mac let someone else through and it sounded like a 13-year-old girl who asked "besides your father, who are some of your musical inspirations?" I said "I really like Chris Brown, Drake, Ke$ha, you know people like that." Mac said "we have time for one more; go ahead caller." This time it was a teenage boy who asked "are you single?" I looked up at Frank while wondering if I should lie or not and he whispered "you can tell the truth AJ." I said "yeah I am." The boy responded "what do you look for in a guy?" I said "let's see; I really like a guy who accepts the fact that I'm a tomboy and that he will never see me wearing a dress or makeup! I also like a guy who puts me first before his friends and partying!" Mac said "alright; that's all we have time for today. I'd like to thank you AJ for stopping por today and making us the place where you conducted your first interview!" I said "thank you guys!" He asked "is there anything that you’d like to say before we call it a dia here?" I said "PYT, pretty young thing is now available on iTunes. Don't forget to buy that and request! The official Alanna Jackson website and online store will be up seguinte week! You can follow me on twitter @officialAlannaJackson! Thank you for all your support!"
After we had signed off the air, Frank said as he patted me on the back "you did a great job kid!" Mac said "I had a great time with you here today! You better come back and visit! I can already tell you going to be the seguinte musical sensation!" I said "of course I will be back!"
My phone started ringing frantically and I put it on speaker so Frank could hear. Blanket shouted "OH MY GOD THAT WAS AWESOME AJ!" Prince said "I can't believe you were on the radio!" Grandma said "you did so well!" I said "okay; I'm headed início you guys so I'll see you when I get there!" An ambush of "goodbyes" screamed back at us and I hung up the phone. I still can't believe that this is all really happening to me! I wonder how long it'll be before this whole being famous thing hits me.
October 4, 2009,
I officially finished my album which I named "Legacy" and it will be released on January 23, 2010. I released three mais singles of my versions of dad's songs, wanna be starting something, working dia and night, they don't care about us, and another part of me. They've been playing the songs on the radio like crazy!
Frank and I wish sitting in the gym at Havenhurst when he said "okay; you can tweet something about the tickets for the five Californian promotional concerts!" I went on to my twitter account and typed @officialAlannaJackson: tickets go on sale for my five California concerts go on sale in 15 minutes!
A tall man of Mexican descent walked into the room and said "hi; my name is Tony and I'll be your choreographer for your concerts!" I bent down to tie my shoe and Frank said "I know you can sing but; can you dance?" I smiled as I adjusted the hat on my head and Tony started walking me through dance moves. Frank stood there with a stunned look on his face and said "you are so much like your father it amazes me!"
October 9, 2009,
Today is my first show, concerto on my five show promotional tour and I'm so excited! I was downstairs at the house when my siblings came running into the room. Prince said "we can't wait to see you perform today AJ!" Blanket asked "how many mais hours?" I said "an hora and a half! Frank is on his way here to pick me up and take me to Universal Studios where the show, concerto will be."
After I got in the car, Frank said "today's the dia kid! Are you ready for this?" I said "more than ready!" He said "don't be nervous! You'll do just fine!" I said "don't worry; I'm not nervous! I'm excited!" He said "we're almost there! I wonder how big the turnout will be."
We pulled onto the rua that leads to Universal Studios and I said "I wonder what's going on because there's a whole bunch of people lined down the street!" He said "I don't know; maybe there's a rua performer outside!" We pulled up to one of the private buildings on the Universal Studios lot and Frank said "go on in there and I'll be in after I see what all these people are doing crowding the streets!"
I walked into what appeared to be a large dressing room with a flatscreen TV and black leather couch. My stylist Karen Faye (Michael's personal stylist when he was alive) started to touch up some skin tone make up on my face. I had to turn the volume up on the TV several times because of the commotion going on outside.
Frank came into the room with a huge smile on his face and I asked "what's your problem?" He asked "you know all those people that were lining the streets?" I said "yeah!" He said as he sat down seguinte to me "you're not going to believe this!" I looked at him confused and asked "what?" He said as he stuttered "th – those people are waiting to see you!!!" I said as I chuckled in disbelief "yeah right; there's no way!" He said "I'm not kidding!!! I just talked to the owner of the park and the 250 tickets that went on sale sold-out in an hour!" My mouth dropped and I asked "so what's with the hundreds and hundreds of people standing outside the park?" He said "those are people that weren't able to get tickets! I'm assuming they're hoping that they would catch a glimpse of you at some point!"
I got up and looked out the window at the hundreds of fãs outside. Frank put his hand on my shoulder and asked "do you feel famous yet?" I whispered "yeah; I can't believe all these people showed up to hear me sing 4 songs!" He said "this is only a small promotional tour! Think about when you're a headliner!"
A few minutos later, I was introduced por the DJ and stepped out onto the stage wearing just my typical everyday clothes! I put my ear piece in so I could hear myself cantar and started the set list. Beginning with PYT, working dia and night, they don't care about us, and lastly wanna be starting something. I could see my family standing on the side of the stage as I sang and they smiled.
Afterwards, Frank and I went back to the large dressing room. I sat down on the sofá and drank from a water bottle. Blanket, Prince, Paris, and grandma came into the room and started chanting my name! I chuckled as I took Carter from Paris and adjusted the hat on my head. I really am famous!!!
October 13, 2009,
I was sitting at the mesa, tabela with my chemistry textbook as I scribbled respostas on a worksheet. Carter crawled around on the floor as I looked up every so often to see if he was okay. Prince came downstairs and picked him up. Prince walked over and looked over my shoulder to see what I was doing. Carter pointed at me and said "mommy." I looked at Prince and he smiled at Carter. I asked with excitement in my voice "did he just say his first word?" Prince said "say it again Carter!" Carter said "mommy, mommy, mommy!"
I grabbed him from Prince and jumped with excitement. He started giggling at my reaction as he said "mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy!" Paris came running into the room and asked "what's all the screaming going on in here for? I said "HE CALLED ME MOMMY!" She clapped her hands with excitement and said "that's so cute! If daddy was here he would be freaking out right now!" I looked at Paris and stared at her in silence for a few minutes. Then I said "thanks for ruining the moment por saying something like that!" I passed Carter back to Prince and ran up the stairs as Paris begged "wait AJ; I didn't mean to bring up daddy!"
I slammed my bedroom door and sat down on the bed. Anytime anyone talks about dad I just can't handle it! I'm not really mad at Paris; I'm mad at the fact that dad's gone forever and there's nothing I can do about it to bring him back! It wasn't supposed to be like this! I looked up at the sky and said "I wish you were here daddy! It just isn't fair!"
October 17, 2009,
Frank and I sat in the living room and he said "I have some bad news! Then I have some good news! Here's the bad news, you know how you have two mais concerts left in your promotional tour?" I shook my head in agreement and he said "the record label canceled them." I asked with anger in my voice "what! Why would they do something like that?" He said "before you get angry, let me explain! The reason why they canceled them is because of how well you've done and how in demand the tickets to your shows were!" I said "well; if the tickets were in such demand then it would be stupid of them to cancelar the remaining dates!" He said "let me finish. As I was saying, they canceled them because they want you to go on your own headlining tour starting February 1 of 2010!"
I smiled and said "oh okay; I'm not mad anymore! He said "I had a meeting with the record label executives yesterday and they said that they want to call the tour the 'Legacy Tour.'" I asked "how many dates are scheduled for the tour?" He said "87; America, Canada, and the United Kingdom!" I said "wow; I didn't know that I was popular in other countries besides the US! I kind of wish that I could do a show, concerto in Japão though. I loved going there when I was a little kid!" He said "you're still young; there's plenty of time to conquer Japan!"
November 18, 2009,
I was woken up por the sound of Carter saying "mommy" over and over again. I got out of cama and said "happy first birthday buddy!" I changed him and took him downstairs to start setting up for the party. My cell phone rang as I passed him a baby bottle with chocolate milk. I answered it and Damien's mother Kate said "hi AJ; how's the birthday boy?" I said "he's good!" She said "I'm sorry that I couldn't afford to make it out there to help celebrate!" I said "it's okay; there's plenty of family coming over today!" She said "the go Diego go DVDs I bought him for his birthday should be there any dia now." I said "okay; did you want to talk to him?"
I tried passing Carter my iPhone and he pushed it away while saying "no mommy no!" I said as I put the phone up to his ear "it's grandma Kate! She wants to talk to you; talk to grandma!" He pushed it away and I put the phone back up to my ear. I said "his eyes are glued to the TV right now! He doesn't want anything to do with the phone! Sorry, I tried!" She said "that's alright; I can't expect too much from a one-year-old! Have a good time at the party today!" I said "we will and I will take lots of pictures so you can see! Goodbye!"
I stood up on the cozinha mesa, tabela as Prince passed me the blue and red streamers. Grandma walked into the room and said "don't fall AJ!" I said "don't worry; even if I did it wouldn't be that bad because the ground is only a few feet away!" Uncle Jermaine opened the front door and said "I picked up that blue cake you ordered Alanna!" He put the box down on the counter and I hopped off of the mesa, tabela to look at it. It was simple but perfect at the same time. It had blue frosting with the words "happy first birthday Carter" written in green frosting.
Other family members started to arrive and Aunt Latoya came in carrying three boxes of pizza with a gift bag resting on the top. I ran over and said "let me help you with that!" I took this stack of boxes from her and set them on the table. She hugged me and asked "how are you?" I said "I'm okay I guess."
The two of us walked into the antro, den and sat down on the sofá alone. She said "your grandmother told me that you haven't been expressing your feelings about your dad!" I said "it's not that I don't care because I do! It's just hard for me; for the first 15 years of my life the only person that ever saw me cry was dad!" She said "I think out of all our extended family I've been the closest of you! If you ever need to cry I'm here!" I started to well up with tears and said "I just wish Dr. Murray didn't call Prince and I into the room when he performed CPR on dad! I could tell that he was already dead and I knew from the moment we sat down in that room with grandma that she was going to tell us that he was!" She looked at me sympathetically and she herself tried to picture what I must've been feeling.
She hugged me and said "cheer up; today is Carter's birthday! You have to try to be happy for him!" I wiped the tears away and stood up as I said "it's so hard but I'll try!" I opened the door to the antro, den as my dog marreco, drake jumped up at us.
I sat down at the mesa, tabela with everyone else as they were getting ready to bring Carter's birthday cake out. We all sang happy birthday and I cut him a huge piece of cake. I put it on his high chair tray and he was kind of afraid of it. I said while laughing “it’s just food; go ahead buddy!" Prince said as he walked up to me "I think there's something on the piece of cake AJ! I looked at him confused and said "I don't see anything!" He pointed "see it right there!" I said "no; I don't know what you're talking about Prince!" I leaned my face in to get a closer look and he said "right here" as he smashed my face into the cake.
Everyone started cracking up as I lifted my face off of the cake and wiped the frosting away from my eyes. My face was completely covered with green and blue frosting and Carter started laughing. I said "he's supposed to be the one covered in frosting; not me!" I knelt down seguinte to Carter and he puckered his lips for a kiss and I said "I think he knows it's frosting now!" I pecked his lips and he took a handful of frosting off my face. He started licking his fingers and we all continued to laugh as I smeared some frosting on the side of Prince's face.
November 19, 2009,
It was midnight and I was just finishing cleaning up the last things from Carter's birthday party. I walked into the living room and found Prince was asleep on the sofá sitting with Carter snoring on his chest. I smiled as I covered them with a blanket and walked upstairs.
I walked into my room and heard something hitting my window. I walked up to the window and saw little pebbles being pelted at the glass. I opened the window and looked down to see who it was. Damien was standing there wearing a white tank topo, início and camo cargo shorts. I yelled "what the hell are you doing here?" He asked "can I come in?" I said reluctantly "fine but; you better not be an ass!" I walked downstairs and let him inside as we quietly made our way up to my room.
I shut my bedroom door and asked "what are you doing here Damien?" He asked "isn't today Carter's birthday?" I said "you would think you would know that his birthday was yesterday because you're his dad!" He said "oh; well I'm sorry!" I asked irritated "sorry? You're sorry? That's all you have to say?" He said "I don't know what else you want from me AJ!" I said "you left me without even saying anything! If it wasn't for my dad I would've been doing everything on my own! That's not how it's supposed to be! You're lucky that I had just had the baby when you showed up at the hospital because if I had gotten to you instead of my dad I would've given you a whole hell of a lot worse than a black eye!"
He sat down seguinte to me on the cama and said "I can't really do anything about that now except for apologize and promise you that things will be different!" I said "if you're going to be a part of his life then be a part of it! I don't want you around him if you're just going to abandon him one dia just like you did with me! Before you ask, we're never going to be boyfriend and girlfriend again. I tried that once and I'm not willing to try again because my first priority is our son. It's yet to be seen if you feel the same way!" He looked down seemingly disappointed and said "I was kind of hoping…" I looked at him waiting for an answer and he tossed a condom in my lap I looked at him and said "fine; but only because you came all the way here from Las Vegas to apologize!" I whispered in his ear "by the way; your new mustache is sexy!"
November 20, 2009,
Knowing that the family would be away until this afternoon Damien stayed the night again. He's only been here at night and I have no idea what he's been doing during the day. He's going back to Vegas today and hasn't spent much time with Carter since he's been here. That definitely gets on my nerves and I won't put up with it for long.
Damien came into my room and I said "my family will be here in an hora so you have to leave soon because I don't want them to know that you were here!" He stripped down to his boxers and asked "can I use your chuveiro before I leave?" I said "just try to be fast because you have to get out of here before they get back!" He said "I will" as he shut the door to the bathroom that was in my bedroom.
While Carter took a nap, I heard Damien turn the chuveiro on and I looked down at my bedroom floor. I saw Damien's cell phone sticking out of the pocket in his shorts and decided to go through it. I went to his caixa de entrada and started leitura his text messages:
Damien: I'm leaving in a few hours :-)
Baby: okay! I miss you so much and I hope you're getting along well with your baby's mother.
Damien: I got to go; I'll talk to you later! I amor you! Hope you have something special planned for when I get back
***
I was fuming with anger as I got up from my cama and used a paperclip to unlock the bathroom door. I opened the door and stormed in. I looked at Damien as he stood in the chuveiro and pulled him out. I pushed him down on the cama and he asked "what the hell are you doing? I wasn't done taking a chuveiro yet!" I said "YOU DIDN'T TELL ME YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND!" He looked up at me and asked "why the fuck do you care?" I said "because we had sex yesterday you jackass!" He said obviously unfazed "she's not going to find out anyway! Even if she did; the ladies can't resist me!" I said as I shoved him down the stairs and out the door "so you were just going to hook up with me then leave!" He said "STOP BEING SUCH A cadela, puta AJ!" I said as I slapped him across the face "DON'T YOU EVER CALL ME A BITCH! YOU CAN FORGET ABOUT EVER SEEING YOUR SON AGAIN! NOW I KNOW THAT EVERYTHING YOU SAID TO ME ABOUT BEING THERE WAS ALL touro SHIT!!! He said "you think I give a damn if I see him again? I don't; I don't even know the kid!" I said "you're a pathetic excuse for a father! That's really sad! I'm glad I care about him enough to keep him away from you! DON'T YOU GET IT? I DON'T CARE IF YOU'RE THERE! THE ONLY ONE YOU'RE HURTING IS CARTER! IT'S GOING TO SUCK FOR YOU WHEN HE'S CALLING SOMEONE ELSE DADDY! I'LL BE IN PRISON FOR ATTEMPTED MURDER BEFORE YOU TREAT OUR SON LIKE HE'S WORTHLESS!" I threw him his clothes and said "get the hell out of here and don't come back!" He quickly put his clothes on and casually walked down the road like he didn't even care!
December 25, 2009,
It was 7 o'clock in the morning on natal dia and I lay in my cama looking at the ceiling. I talked to myself "I wish you were here daddy. natal will never be the same without you! I know you'll be there in spirit but; I would do anything just to see you one mais time! I know you can hear me up there and my new música video came out last week! It's really popular and I hope I made you proud! My album comes out in less than a mês and then I'm going on tour! I wish you could give me a sigh that you are supportive of everything that I've been working on lately!"
I was interrupted por Carter standing up in his berço crying and I walked over to pick him up. I said "Merry natal little guy!" Blanket came running into my room and said "Santa Claus came!" I asked trying to keep the magic alive for him "he did?" Before I got a response from him, he ran into Prince's room and yelled "PRINCE WAKE UP!" Paris and I looked at each other as we laughed at his excitement. My grandmother came out of her room and smiled as she asked "how late were you up last night wrapping Carter's gifts?" I said "until two in the morning." I whispered in her ear "keep the kids up here for a few mais minutos because I have to go sneak his gift from Santa Claus downstairs, distract him for me!”
After I had put the gift downstairs I said "okay; you guys can come downstairs now!” I took my iPhone out of the pocket on the red flannel pajama pants that I was wearing and started to take pictures. I smiled as Prince helped Carter walk down the stairs. Carter's been walking for about two months now and hasn't quite mastered the stairs yet.
I smiled as Blanket's mouth dropped as he saw the living room covered with gifts stacked 5 feet high. I knelt down to get a good picture of Carter's face as he saw the giant plastic play cozinha that I had bought him. He ran toward it stumbling on his feet and falling down a few times. He pulled himself up on it and I asked "oh my gosh Carter; what did Santa bring you?" Grandma smiled and winked down at me. I stood up and she whispered in my ear "is that where the $300 you got from the promotional tour went?" I said "of course; I wanted my son to have a good natal and I wasn't about to spend my money on myself!" She sat down in the chair behind her and started to tear up. I put my hand on her shoulder and asked "what's wrong grandma?" She said "your father would be so proud of you right now! I had no idea that you spent the little money that you got from those three shows on Carter." I said "well obviously; I may not make the best decisions most of the time but, when it comes to Carter I'll always put him first before anything else!" She said "I was about to confront you and ask you what stupid thing you bought with your money; I guess I underestimated you!" I winked at her and said "have a little faith in me grandma, I have a good side too!"
Prince, Paris, and Blanket sat down on the sofá as I passed them stacks of gifts. As I sat down on the floor blanket said "pass me all of my gifts AJ!" I said "there's hundreds of gifts with your name on them; it would take me hours to find them! Just start with that and I'll grab mais later." I grabbed a present with Carter's name on it and said as I pulled him away from the play cozinha "come on buddy; let's open up some gifts!" He started screaming and reaching for the play cozinha and I tried to distract him por ripping a hole through the gift. He wasn't having any of it and I said "fine, I'll save your gifts for after everyone else is done!"
We passed out gifts and attacked them one after another. I saw as the gifts started to fade and my siblings had opened their expensive gifts. Paris and Prince both got their own cell phones and Blanket had gotten a laptop. I wasn't expecting much because the most important thing is that Carter got everything that he wanted. I started helping grandma clean up the paper that covered the floor and she said "I think there's something else for you."
I looked around and said confused "I don't see anything grandma; maybe you're getting it mixed up with something I already opened!" She said as she pointed at a little red box that was hanging from a branch on the natal árvore "what's that?" I untied the ribbon that was holding the box to the branch and took it off. I looked at grandma and let out a nervous laugh as I asked "why are you staring at me with that creepy smile on your face like you are going to explode?" She said "just open it up and you'll find out!" I asked worried por her anticipation "nothing living is going to jump out at me; right? Like a bug or something!"
Prince shouted from the other room as he shoved syrup covered waffles into his mouth and listened in on our conversation "just open it already AJ! I want to know what it is!" I said "alright, alright I'm opening it!" I untied the bow that was on topo, início of the box and carefully removed the lid. I looked inside and then looked up as I said "you're joking grandma; you didn't!" She said "you're right; I didn't because your dad did!" Prince tossed his plate in the sink and asked "what is it?" I looked at him shocked beyond belief and pulled out a set of car keys from the box!
I ran out the door barefoot wearing pajama pants and a estrela Wars T-shirt. Grandma was laughing so hard she barely got out of the words "PUT YOUR SHOES ON!" I was already out the door por that point and my jaw dropped when I saw what was sitting in the driveway. It was the black Ford F1 50 that dad saw me eyeing when I went with him last ano to the car lot so he could trade-in his Rolls-Royce. I didn't even think he was watching me when I was looking at it!
Blanket and Prince climbed into the cama of the truck. I climbed up into the driver’s assento and started the engine. I asked as I looked out the window at grandma "can I take it down to the lake that's not too far from here?" She motioned for my brothers to get out of the truck and said "just don't get pulled over because you only have your drivers permit!" I said "don't worry, I won't!"
When I pulled up in front of the lake I turned on the radio as I looked around still in shock. I said to myself "I can't believe dad was able to hide this from me for so long!" I opened up the luva compartment and was surprised to see a piece of paper inside. I took it out and opened it. It read:
Dated at the topo, início of the paper: 6 – 23 – 09
Dear Alanna,
I don't know if you'll ever notice this note but, don't make me regret buying you this truck! I amor you so much even though you make me want to rip my hair out because of how you act! Drive seguro kiddo and enjoy!
amor you forever, no matter what!!! – Daddy
***
I paused in silence for about five segundos processing what I had just read and reread the date. I whispered "that was the dia before dad and I had that huge fight!" I couldn't fight back the tears anymore as I pounded my fist on the dashboard. I screamed "I'M SORRY! I DON'T KNOW WHY YOU PUT UP WITH ME and I fought you every step of the way! I DON'T KNOW WHY YOU DIDN'T GIVE UP ON ME!" I sobbed uncontrollably for 10 minutos straight as I gripped the note tightly in my hand. I continue to cry and then suddenly I heard "I just can't stop lovin' you, I just can't stop lovin' you, and if I stop tell me just what will I do cause I just can't stop lovin' you!!!"
I looked up at the station and it said "jingle bells" was the song that was playing. I said to myself "that wasn't jingle bells! I thought this radio station was supposed to be playing natal música all day!" As I drove back to Havenhurst, I couldn't help but wonder why the radio had said it was playing a natal song instead of what was actually playing. I know it wasn't just me hearing things because I heard that song like it was clear as day… That's so strange and aleatório of that radio station!!!
****Author's note****
I know that I usually start off every chapter as the seguinte ano but; since I ended the anterior chapter in summer 2009, I thought I could just partition the rest of 2009 and all of 2010 in one chapter!
Enjoy, Alanna
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
August 20, 2009,
I was sitting alone in my room at my grandmother's house when, I got a text message from Frank. He said the words I had been waiting so long to hear "get ready because I'm picking you up and were going to the recording studio to lay down some tracks." I couldn't help but smile. This all seems unreal! I can't believe I'm actually going to start a cantar career just like my father!
I ran downstairs and stopped at the mesa, tabela so I could tie my shoes. My grandmother said "well; it's nice to see that you've finally left your room!" I said "uncle Frank is coming to pick me up and were going to the recording studio!" She said "oh okay; how is Carter?" I said "I just put him down for a nap so; he shouldn't be up for a while! I know you're probably going to want to shut the fã off in my room but, keep it on because he's wrapped up in three blankets!" She asked with a confused look on her face "why three blankets? It's almost 95° outside." I said "he wouldn't let the blankets go and I didn't want to hear him cry."
Frank's car pulled up to the front gate at Havenhurst and I ran outside. I opened the passenger side door and said "this is going to be so awesome!" He said "I think we should focus on bringing your father's música back to life for the younger generation that may not know how amazing he was." I said "I agree with you; it saddens me when kids today are listening to foul music! I don't really have a lot of room to talk when it comes to that because I'm just as guilty of listening to it as they are! I really want to focus on the age group of eight and up to show them what good música is really like!" He said "that's how your dad would want you to be with your career too."
We walked inside the recording studio and Frank put an instrumental CD of some of dad's songs. He passed me a set of headphones and motioned for me to go in the sound booth. I walked inside and could hear my voice echo as I jumped with excitement. Frank said "why don't we start with something with a strong hook.
I stood there as I sang "Annie are you okay? Are you okay Annie? You've been hit by, you've been struck by… A smooth criminal!" As I sang my coração out, reality hit me! I thought to myself, wow this is really happening! I really am going to become a famous singer! I wonder if dad watching me right now wherever he is?"
I was snapped out of the trance I was in por Frank saying "that was absolutely amazing AJ; your dad wasn't kidding when he said you could sing!" We need to put out an album as soon as possible because this thing is going to be a hit! We could even get some major stars of today to do collaborations with you on some of your father's biggest hits! I still can't get over how awesome that was! This is going to be huge! I can feel it in my gut! Starting today you'll be in the studio six hours a day, after your schoolwork is done!" I smiled ear to ear and said "I forgot to tell you that I have over 1 million Twitter followers already and I've only tweeted one thing! I think they know that I'm starting my own musical career!"
August 29, 2009,
I was in the studio working on my debut album when my cell phone rang:
Me: hello grandma! What do you need? Is Carter okay?
Grandma: did you forget what today is? You better be on your way home!
Me: listen; I know it's dad's birthday but I'd rather stay here to keep my mind off of things!
Grandma: I understand that you don't want to come início but; I think it's the right thing to do AJ! Everyone would appreciate it if you came home!
Me: I don't want to because I'm not ready to deal with the fact that he's gone yet!
Grandma: it's not going to be a sad thing! I promise you that AJ! We're just going to have some cake and celebrate your dad's life! Here, Paris wants to talk to you.
Paris: AJ; will you please come home? Just for a few hours? We all miss you because we hardly see much of you since you've been in the studio recording your album!
Me: it's not that I don't want to celebrate with you guys; I just can't bring myself to realize that he's actually gone! Do you realize how different this birthday is compared to all the other ones we celebrated with dad over the years? He may be there in spirit but; he won't be there in person! I'm sorry but I just can't come home! Making this música helps me connect with dad! It makes me cope with him being gone! Goodbye; I amor you!
September 3, 2009,
I was getting ready to leave because Frank and I are headed to the local radio station to promote my cover/single to 'pretty young thing.' The song debuted at number one on the fresh artists chart and it's been exploding ever since last week!
I ran out to the car after beijar Carter's head and sat in the drivers seat. As we made our way onto the Main Rd., Frank turned on the radio and we heard "she's his PYT, pretty young thing!" I looked at Frank and said "it's so weird hearing my voice on the radio! I'm so glad you let me change the lyrics a little bit so it was altered for a girl to sing!" He said "yeah me too! It would be awkward for you saying 'she's my pretty young thing.’ “The voice on the radio said "that was Alanna Jackson with her new single PYT! Check back in 25 minutos for my exclusive interview with the King of Pop's daughter! This is your man Mac Maze and we'll be back after this word from our sponsors! Don't touch that dial!"
As Frank and I walked into the radio station, he said "since this will be your first ever interview let me give you some tips. First, answer them as honestly as possible and don't be afraid to throw some humor in there! Second, just be as natural as possible, and lastly if there's any perguntas that you don't feel comfortable answering or don't know if you should answer I'll handle it!" I said "okay; I don't think it's going to be as bad as you think it is!"
We entered a big room and a heavyset African-American man with a goatee stood up from his chair to greet us. He said "nice to finally meet you AJ!" He stared at my fauxhawk hairstyle, bright red hightop sneakers, T-shirt with a chimpanzee wearing headphones on it, and sunglasses I had sticking out of my pocket. He said "I hear that you're not the most feminine girl out there!" I laughed and said "glitter, ponies, and nail polish are definitely not my thing!" He laughed and said "yeah; I can see that! Alright, the commercial break is almost over and you'll be ready to go on air!"
As I was about to sit down in the chair opposite of him, Frank whispered in my ear "pull your pants up! Your boxers are hanging out!" I hiked my baggy jeans up and sat down. Mac said "welcome back to the most listened to radio station in all of Los Angeles! This is a Mac and as promised I'm now sitting here with Alanna Jackson! What's it feel like to have your first single 'PYT, pretty young thing be the number one requested song this week?” I spoke into the microphone that was attached to the mesa, tabela and said "oh; it's awesome man! I didn't expect it to do so well right off the bat!" He said "I just have to point out that your dad's talent has definitely rubbed off on you!" I said "thanks but; my dad will forever be the best and that's exactly how I want it to stay!" He asked "do you hope to one dia match the successes your father has achieved?" I said "I mean if it happens; it happens! I never want to outshine my dad though! My dad is the King and that is his crown, not mine!" Mac said "we have some fãs on the line that have perguntas for you! You down with that?" I said "fan questions? I didn't realize that I had legit fãs yet; yeah go ahead! I can't wait to hear them!"
Mac opened up the phone lines and said "here's our first caller, go ahead." The voice said "hi; my name is Becky and I was wondering if you are working on an official album?" I said "yeah I am!" She asked "do you know when it will be released?" I said while thinking "January of seguinte ano for sure! We just haven't settled on a specific encontro, data yet." Mac put the seguinte caller through and she asked "will you be going on tour soon either as an opening act for other artists or will you be going on your own headlining tour?" I said "well; after a few mais singles drop I'll be having promotional shows all over California and if all goes well a tour of my own will definitely be in the near future!" Mac let someone else through and it sounded like a 13-year-old girl who asked "besides your father, who are some of your musical inspirations?" I said "I really like Chris Brown, Drake, Ke$ha, you know people like that." Mac said "we have time for one more; go ahead caller." This time it was a teenage boy who asked "are you single?" I looked up at Frank while wondering if I should lie or not and he whispered "you can tell the truth AJ." I said "yeah I am." The boy responded "what do you look for in a guy?" I said "let's see; I really like a guy who accepts the fact that I'm a tomboy and that he will never see me wearing a dress or makeup! I also like a guy who puts me first before his friends and partying!" Mac said "alright; that's all we have time for today. I'd like to thank you AJ for stopping por today and making us the place where you conducted your first interview!" I said "thank you guys!" He asked "is there anything that you’d like to say before we call it a dia here?" I said "PYT, pretty young thing is now available on iTunes. Don't forget to buy that and request! The official Alanna Jackson website and online store will be up seguinte week! You can follow me on twitter @officialAlannaJackson! Thank you for all your support!"
After we had signed off the air, Frank said as he patted me on the back "you did a great job kid!" Mac said "I had a great time with you here today! You better come back and visit! I can already tell you going to be the seguinte musical sensation!" I said "of course I will be back!"
My phone started ringing frantically and I put it on speaker so Frank could hear. Blanket shouted "OH MY GOD THAT WAS AWESOME AJ!" Prince said "I can't believe you were on the radio!" Grandma said "you did so well!" I said "okay; I'm headed início you guys so I'll see you when I get there!" An ambush of "goodbyes" screamed back at us and I hung up the phone. I still can't believe that this is all really happening to me! I wonder how long it'll be before this whole being famous thing hits me.
October 4, 2009,
I officially finished my album which I named "Legacy" and it will be released on January 23, 2010. I released three mais singles of my versions of dad's songs, wanna be starting something, working dia and night, they don't care about us, and another part of me. They've been playing the songs on the radio like crazy!
Frank and I wish sitting in the gym at Havenhurst when he said "okay; you can tweet something about the tickets for the five Californian promotional concerts!" I went on to my twitter account and typed @officialAlannaJackson: tickets go on sale for my five California concerts go on sale in 15 minutes!
A tall man of Mexican descent walked into the room and said "hi; my name is Tony and I'll be your choreographer for your concerts!" I bent down to tie my shoe and Frank said "I know you can sing but; can you dance?" I smiled as I adjusted the hat on my head and Tony started walking me through dance moves. Frank stood there with a stunned look on his face and said "you are so much like your father it amazes me!"
October 9, 2009,
Today is my first show, concerto on my five show promotional tour and I'm so excited! I was downstairs at the house when my siblings came running into the room. Prince said "we can't wait to see you perform today AJ!" Blanket asked "how many mais hours?" I said "an hora and a half! Frank is on his way here to pick me up and take me to Universal Studios where the show, concerto will be."
After I got in the car, Frank said "today's the dia kid! Are you ready for this?" I said "more than ready!" He said "don't be nervous! You'll do just fine!" I said "don't worry; I'm not nervous! I'm excited!" He said "we're almost there! I wonder how big the turnout will be."
We pulled onto the rua that leads to Universal Studios and I said "I wonder what's going on because there's a whole bunch of people lined down the street!" He said "I don't know; maybe there's a rua performer outside!" We pulled up to one of the private buildings on the Universal Studios lot and Frank said "go on in there and I'll be in after I see what all these people are doing crowding the streets!"
I walked into what appeared to be a large dressing room with a flatscreen TV and black leather couch. My stylist Karen Faye (Michael's personal stylist when he was alive) started to touch up some skin tone make up on my face. I had to turn the volume up on the TV several times because of the commotion going on outside.
Frank came into the room with a huge smile on his face and I asked "what's your problem?" He asked "you know all those people that were lining the streets?" I said "yeah!" He said as he sat down seguinte to me "you're not going to believe this!" I looked at him confused and asked "what?" He said as he stuttered "th – those people are waiting to see you!!!" I said as I chuckled in disbelief "yeah right; there's no way!" He said "I'm not kidding!!! I just talked to the owner of the park and the 250 tickets that went on sale sold-out in an hour!" My mouth dropped and I asked "so what's with the hundreds and hundreds of people standing outside the park?" He said "those are people that weren't able to get tickets! I'm assuming they're hoping that they would catch a glimpse of you at some point!"
I got up and looked out the window at the hundreds of fãs outside. Frank put his hand on my shoulder and asked "do you feel famous yet?" I whispered "yeah; I can't believe all these people showed up to hear me sing 4 songs!" He said "this is only a small promotional tour! Think about when you're a headliner!"
A few minutos later, I was introduced por the DJ and stepped out onto the stage wearing just my typical everyday clothes! I put my ear piece in so I could hear myself cantar and started the set list. Beginning with PYT, working dia and night, they don't care about us, and lastly wanna be starting something. I could see my family standing on the side of the stage as I sang and they smiled.
Afterwards, Frank and I went back to the large dressing room. I sat down on the sofá and drank from a water bottle. Blanket, Prince, Paris, and grandma came into the room and started chanting my name! I chuckled as I took Carter from Paris and adjusted the hat on my head. I really am famous!!!
October 13, 2009,
I was sitting at the mesa, tabela with my chemistry textbook as I scribbled respostas on a worksheet. Carter crawled around on the floor as I looked up every so often to see if he was okay. Prince came downstairs and picked him up. Prince walked over and looked over my shoulder to see what I was doing. Carter pointed at me and said "mommy." I looked at Prince and he smiled at Carter. I asked with excitement in my voice "did he just say his first word?" Prince said "say it again Carter!" Carter said "mommy, mommy, mommy!"
I grabbed him from Prince and jumped with excitement. He started giggling at my reaction as he said "mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy!" Paris came running into the room and asked "what's all the screaming going on in here for? I said "HE CALLED ME MOMMY!" She clapped her hands with excitement and said "that's so cute! If daddy was here he would be freaking out right now!" I looked at Paris and stared at her in silence for a few minutes. Then I said "thanks for ruining the moment por saying something like that!" I passed Carter back to Prince and ran up the stairs as Paris begged "wait AJ; I didn't mean to bring up daddy!"
I slammed my bedroom door and sat down on the bed. Anytime anyone talks about dad I just can't handle it! I'm not really mad at Paris; I'm mad at the fact that dad's gone forever and there's nothing I can do about it to bring him back! It wasn't supposed to be like this! I looked up at the sky and said "I wish you were here daddy! It just isn't fair!"
October 17, 2009,
Frank and I sat in the living room and he said "I have some bad news! Then I have some good news! Here's the bad news, you know how you have two mais concerts left in your promotional tour?" I shook my head in agreement and he said "the record label canceled them." I asked with anger in my voice "what! Why would they do something like that?" He said "before you get angry, let me explain! The reason why they canceled them is because of how well you've done and how in demand the tickets to your shows were!" I said "well; if the tickets were in such demand then it would be stupid of them to cancelar the remaining dates!" He said "let me finish. As I was saying, they canceled them because they want you to go on your own headlining tour starting February 1 of 2010!"
I smiled and said "oh okay; I'm not mad anymore! He said "I had a meeting with the record label executives yesterday and they said that they want to call the tour the 'Legacy Tour.'" I asked "how many dates are scheduled for the tour?" He said "87; America, Canada, and the United Kingdom!" I said "wow; I didn't know that I was popular in other countries besides the US! I kind of wish that I could do a show, concerto in Japão though. I loved going there when I was a little kid!" He said "you're still young; there's plenty of time to conquer Japan!"
November 18, 2009,
I was woken up por the sound of Carter saying "mommy" over and over again. I got out of cama and said "happy first birthday buddy!" I changed him and took him downstairs to start setting up for the party. My cell phone rang as I passed him a baby bottle with chocolate milk. I answered it and Damien's mother Kate said "hi AJ; how's the birthday boy?" I said "he's good!" She said "I'm sorry that I couldn't afford to make it out there to help celebrate!" I said "it's okay; there's plenty of family coming over today!" She said "the go Diego go DVDs I bought him for his birthday should be there any dia now." I said "okay; did you want to talk to him?"
I tried passing Carter my iPhone and he pushed it away while saying "no mommy no!" I said as I put the phone up to his ear "it's grandma Kate! She wants to talk to you; talk to grandma!" He pushed it away and I put the phone back up to my ear. I said "his eyes are glued to the TV right now! He doesn't want anything to do with the phone! Sorry, I tried!" She said "that's alright; I can't expect too much from a one-year-old! Have a good time at the party today!" I said "we will and I will take lots of pictures so you can see! Goodbye!"
I stood up on the cozinha mesa, tabela as Prince passed me the blue and red streamers. Grandma walked into the room and said "don't fall AJ!" I said "don't worry; even if I did it wouldn't be that bad because the ground is only a few feet away!" Uncle Jermaine opened the front door and said "I picked up that blue cake you ordered Alanna!" He put the box down on the counter and I hopped off of the mesa, tabela to look at it. It was simple but perfect at the same time. It had blue frosting with the words "happy first birthday Carter" written in green frosting.
Other family members started to arrive and Aunt Latoya came in carrying three boxes of pizza with a gift bag resting on the top. I ran over and said "let me help you with that!" I took this stack of boxes from her and set them on the table. She hugged me and asked "how are you?" I said "I'm okay I guess."
The two of us walked into the antro, den and sat down on the sofá alone. She said "your grandmother told me that you haven't been expressing your feelings about your dad!" I said "it's not that I don't care because I do! It's just hard for me; for the first 15 years of my life the only person that ever saw me cry was dad!" She said "I think out of all our extended family I've been the closest of you! If you ever need to cry I'm here!" I started to well up with tears and said "I just wish Dr. Murray didn't call Prince and I into the room when he performed CPR on dad! I could tell that he was already dead and I knew from the moment we sat down in that room with grandma that she was going to tell us that he was!" She looked at me sympathetically and she herself tried to picture what I must've been feeling.
She hugged me and said "cheer up; today is Carter's birthday! You have to try to be happy for him!" I wiped the tears away and stood up as I said "it's so hard but I'll try!" I opened the door to the antro, den as my dog marreco, drake jumped up at us.
I sat down at the mesa, tabela with everyone else as they were getting ready to bring Carter's birthday cake out. We all sang happy birthday and I cut him a huge piece of cake. I put it on his high chair tray and he was kind of afraid of it. I said while laughing “it’s just food; go ahead buddy!" Prince said as he walked up to me "I think there's something on the piece of cake AJ! I looked at him confused and said "I don't see anything!" He pointed "see it right there!" I said "no; I don't know what you're talking about Prince!" I leaned my face in to get a closer look and he said "right here" as he smashed my face into the cake.
Everyone started cracking up as I lifted my face off of the cake and wiped the frosting away from my eyes. My face was completely covered with green and blue frosting and Carter started laughing. I said "he's supposed to be the one covered in frosting; not me!" I knelt down seguinte to Carter and he puckered his lips for a kiss and I said "I think he knows it's frosting now!" I pecked his lips and he took a handful of frosting off my face. He started licking his fingers and we all continued to laugh as I smeared some frosting on the side of Prince's face.
November 19, 2009,
It was midnight and I was just finishing cleaning up the last things from Carter's birthday party. I walked into the living room and found Prince was asleep on the sofá sitting with Carter snoring on his chest. I smiled as I covered them with a blanket and walked upstairs.
I walked into my room and heard something hitting my window. I walked up to the window and saw little pebbles being pelted at the glass. I opened the window and looked down to see who it was. Damien was standing there wearing a white tank topo, início and camo cargo shorts. I yelled "what the hell are you doing here?" He asked "can I come in?" I said reluctantly "fine but; you better not be an ass!" I walked downstairs and let him inside as we quietly made our way up to my room.
I shut my bedroom door and asked "what are you doing here Damien?" He asked "isn't today Carter's birthday?" I said "you would think you would know that his birthday was yesterday because you're his dad!" He said "oh; well I'm sorry!" I asked irritated "sorry? You're sorry? That's all you have to say?" He said "I don't know what else you want from me AJ!" I said "you left me without even saying anything! If it wasn't for my dad I would've been doing everything on my own! That's not how it's supposed to be! You're lucky that I had just had the baby when you showed up at the hospital because if I had gotten to you instead of my dad I would've given you a whole hell of a lot worse than a black eye!"
He sat down seguinte to me on the cama and said "I can't really do anything about that now except for apologize and promise you that things will be different!" I said "if you're going to be a part of his life then be a part of it! I don't want you around him if you're just going to abandon him one dia just like you did with me! Before you ask, we're never going to be boyfriend and girlfriend again. I tried that once and I'm not willing to try again because my first priority is our son. It's yet to be seen if you feel the same way!" He looked down seemingly disappointed and said "I was kind of hoping…" I looked at him waiting for an answer and he tossed a condom in my lap I looked at him and said "fine; but only because you came all the way here from Las Vegas to apologize!" I whispered in his ear "by the way; your new mustache is sexy!"
November 20, 2009,
Knowing that the family would be away until this afternoon Damien stayed the night again. He's only been here at night and I have no idea what he's been doing during the day. He's going back to Vegas today and hasn't spent much time with Carter since he's been here. That definitely gets on my nerves and I won't put up with it for long.
Damien came into my room and I said "my family will be here in an hora so you have to leave soon because I don't want them to know that you were here!" He stripped down to his boxers and asked "can I use your chuveiro before I leave?" I said "just try to be fast because you have to get out of here before they get back!" He said "I will" as he shut the door to the bathroom that was in my bedroom.
While Carter took a nap, I heard Damien turn the chuveiro on and I looked down at my bedroom floor. I saw Damien's cell phone sticking out of the pocket in his shorts and decided to go through it. I went to his caixa de entrada and started leitura his text messages:
Damien: I'm leaving in a few hours :-)
Baby: okay! I miss you so much and I hope you're getting along well with your baby's mother.
Damien: I got to go; I'll talk to you later! I amor you! Hope you have something special planned for when I get back
***
I was fuming with anger as I got up from my cama and used a paperclip to unlock the bathroom door. I opened the door and stormed in. I looked at Damien as he stood in the chuveiro and pulled him out. I pushed him down on the cama and he asked "what the hell are you doing? I wasn't done taking a chuveiro yet!" I said "YOU DIDN'T TELL ME YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND!" He looked up at me and asked "why the fuck do you care?" I said "because we had sex yesterday you jackass!" He said obviously unfazed "she's not going to find out anyway! Even if she did; the ladies can't resist me!" I said as I shoved him down the stairs and out the door "so you were just going to hook up with me then leave!" He said "STOP BEING SUCH A cadela, puta AJ!" I said as I slapped him across the face "DON'T YOU EVER CALL ME A BITCH! YOU CAN FORGET ABOUT EVER SEEING YOUR SON AGAIN! NOW I KNOW THAT EVERYTHING YOU SAID TO ME ABOUT BEING THERE WAS ALL touro SHIT!!! He said "you think I give a damn if I see him again? I don't; I don't even know the kid!" I said "you're a pathetic excuse for a father! That's really sad! I'm glad I care about him enough to keep him away from you! DON'T YOU GET IT? I DON'T CARE IF YOU'RE THERE! THE ONLY ONE YOU'RE HURTING IS CARTER! IT'S GOING TO SUCK FOR YOU WHEN HE'S CALLING SOMEONE ELSE DADDY! I'LL BE IN PRISON FOR ATTEMPTED MURDER BEFORE YOU TREAT OUR SON LIKE HE'S WORTHLESS!" I threw him his clothes and said "get the hell out of here and don't come back!" He quickly put his clothes on and casually walked down the road like he didn't even care!
December 25, 2009,
It was 7 o'clock in the morning on natal dia and I lay in my cama looking at the ceiling. I talked to myself "I wish you were here daddy. natal will never be the same without you! I know you'll be there in spirit but; I would do anything just to see you one mais time! I know you can hear me up there and my new música video came out last week! It's really popular and I hope I made you proud! My album comes out in less than a mês and then I'm going on tour! I wish you could give me a sigh that you are supportive of everything that I've been working on lately!"
I was interrupted por Carter standing up in his berço crying and I walked over to pick him up. I said "Merry natal little guy!" Blanket came running into my room and said "Santa Claus came!" I asked trying to keep the magic alive for him "he did?" Before I got a response from him, he ran into Prince's room and yelled "PRINCE WAKE UP!" Paris and I looked at each other as we laughed at his excitement. My grandmother came out of her room and smiled as she asked "how late were you up last night wrapping Carter's gifts?" I said "until two in the morning." I whispered in her ear "keep the kids up here for a few mais minutos because I have to go sneak his gift from Santa Claus downstairs, distract him for me!”
After I had put the gift downstairs I said "okay; you guys can come downstairs now!” I took my iPhone out of the pocket on the red flannel pajama pants that I was wearing and started to take pictures. I smiled as Prince helped Carter walk down the stairs. Carter's been walking for about two months now and hasn't quite mastered the stairs yet.
I smiled as Blanket's mouth dropped as he saw the living room covered with gifts stacked 5 feet high. I knelt down to get a good picture of Carter's face as he saw the giant plastic play cozinha that I had bought him. He ran toward it stumbling on his feet and falling down a few times. He pulled himself up on it and I asked "oh my gosh Carter; what did Santa bring you?" Grandma smiled and winked down at me. I stood up and she whispered in my ear "is that where the $300 you got from the promotional tour went?" I said "of course; I wanted my son to have a good natal and I wasn't about to spend my money on myself!" She sat down in the chair behind her and started to tear up. I put my hand on her shoulder and asked "what's wrong grandma?" She said "your father would be so proud of you right now! I had no idea that you spent the little money that you got from those three shows on Carter." I said "well obviously; I may not make the best decisions most of the time but, when it comes to Carter I'll always put him first before anything else!" She said "I was about to confront you and ask you what stupid thing you bought with your money; I guess I underestimated you!" I winked at her and said "have a little faith in me grandma, I have a good side too!"
Prince, Paris, and Blanket sat down on the sofá as I passed them stacks of gifts. As I sat down on the floor blanket said "pass me all of my gifts AJ!" I said "there's hundreds of gifts with your name on them; it would take me hours to find them! Just start with that and I'll grab mais later." I grabbed a present with Carter's name on it and said as I pulled him away from the play cozinha "come on buddy; let's open up some gifts!" He started screaming and reaching for the play cozinha and I tried to distract him por ripping a hole through the gift. He wasn't having any of it and I said "fine, I'll save your gifts for after everyone else is done!"
We passed out gifts and attacked them one after another. I saw as the gifts started to fade and my siblings had opened their expensive gifts. Paris and Prince both got their own cell phones and Blanket had gotten a laptop. I wasn't expecting much because the most important thing is that Carter got everything that he wanted. I started helping grandma clean up the paper that covered the floor and she said "I think there's something else for you."
I looked around and said confused "I don't see anything grandma; maybe you're getting it mixed up with something I already opened!" She said as she pointed at a little red box that was hanging from a branch on the natal árvore "what's that?" I untied the ribbon that was holding the box to the branch and took it off. I looked at grandma and let out a nervous laugh as I asked "why are you staring at me with that creepy smile on your face like you are going to explode?" She said "just open it up and you'll find out!" I asked worried por her anticipation "nothing living is going to jump out at me; right? Like a bug or something!"
Prince shouted from the other room as he shoved syrup covered waffles into his mouth and listened in on our conversation "just open it already AJ! I want to know what it is!" I said "alright, alright I'm opening it!" I untied the bow that was on topo, início of the box and carefully removed the lid. I looked inside and then looked up as I said "you're joking grandma; you didn't!" She said "you're right; I didn't because your dad did!" Prince tossed his plate in the sink and asked "what is it?" I looked at him shocked beyond belief and pulled out a set of car keys from the box!
I ran out the door barefoot wearing pajama pants and a estrela Wars T-shirt. Grandma was laughing so hard she barely got out of the words "PUT YOUR SHOES ON!" I was already out the door por that point and my jaw dropped when I saw what was sitting in the driveway. It was the black Ford F1 50 that dad saw me eyeing when I went with him last ano to the car lot so he could trade-in his Rolls-Royce. I didn't even think he was watching me when I was looking at it!
Blanket and Prince climbed into the cama of the truck. I climbed up into the driver’s assento and started the engine. I asked as I looked out the window at grandma "can I take it down to the lake that's not too far from here?" She motioned for my brothers to get out of the truck and said "just don't get pulled over because you only have your drivers permit!" I said "don't worry, I won't!"
When I pulled up in front of the lake I turned on the radio as I looked around still in shock. I said to myself "I can't believe dad was able to hide this from me for so long!" I opened up the luva compartment and was surprised to see a piece of paper inside. I took it out and opened it. It read:
Dated at the topo, início of the paper: 6 – 23 – 09
Dear Alanna,
I don't know if you'll ever notice this note but, don't make me regret buying you this truck! I amor you so much even though you make me want to rip my hair out because of how you act! Drive seguro kiddo and enjoy!
amor you forever, no matter what!!! – Daddy
***
I paused in silence for about five segundos processing what I had just read and reread the date. I whispered "that was the dia before dad and I had that huge fight!" I couldn't fight back the tears anymore as I pounded my fist on the dashboard. I screamed "I'M SORRY! I DON'T KNOW WHY YOU PUT UP WITH ME and I fought you every step of the way! I DON'T KNOW WHY YOU DIDN'T GIVE UP ON ME!" I sobbed uncontrollably for 10 minutos straight as I gripped the note tightly in my hand. I continue to cry and then suddenly I heard "I just can't stop lovin' you, I just can't stop lovin' you, and if I stop tell me just what will I do cause I just can't stop lovin' you!!!"
I looked up at the station and it said "jingle bells" was the song that was playing. I said to myself "that wasn't jingle bells! I thought this radio station was supposed to be playing natal música all day!" As I drove back to Havenhurst, I couldn't help but wonder why the radio had said it was playing a natal song instead of what was actually playing. I know it wasn't just me hearing things because I heard that song like it was clear as day… That's so strange and aleatório of that radio station!!!
