Hey, I was originally going to put this in the comments section of a 'picks' question, but I realized it was too long so I put it here.

This is what I think, about the crap they call the 'Twilight Saga'. A book based on an author's wet dreams and hopes.

Twilight- Who? WHO FALLS IN amor AFTER SEEING A PERSON THREE TIMES IN THEIR ENTIRE LIFE?! Plus, I'll summarize the entire book.

It's like-
Bella: Oh Edward, you hate me.
Edward: No I amor you
Bella: You amor me?
Edward: Stay away from me.
Bella: Stay away from you?
Edward: Just stay with me. I mean, it was obvious I wanted you from the start, wasn't it? Silly girl.
Bella: Oh Edward, you insulted me but I'm okay with it because your so perfect! Oh, I've known you for two weeks but I'm ETERNALLY IN amor WITH YOU!
Edward: You are my life.
Bella: Oh no, the two scary vampiros are going to get me, even though I have seven scarier vamps with me! WE'RE DOOMED!!!!!!!
Bella: Wait, it over already? Edward, stay with me!
Edward: I amor you and will never leave you.
Bella: I amor YOU MORE! EVEN THOUGH YOU WATCH ME WHILE I SLEEP AND FORCE ME TO TO TAKE DRUGS THAT I DON'T WANT, YOU'RE SOOOO PERFECT! I'VE DITCHED ALL MY WONDERFUL friends FOR YOU CAUSE YOUR HOT!

See, S Meyer could have saved valuable trees if she had just written this instead of the crap she calls a story. árvore KILLER!!!

And then the torture continued...

New Moon- Edward leaves and breaks his promise after he pushes Bella into a mesa, tabela of glass, and yet she still thinks he's so perfect. Then she breaks down for four months, totally ignoring all the people who tried to welcome her after she first moved to Forks. And then when she goes to the filmes with Jessica, she nearly kills herself and pots Jessica in danger! Then when she goes back to school, she's like "Wow, Jessica's being a cadela, puta and ignoring me when I did nothing wrong. Sheesh, fine, SHE'S A SLUT!"

And THEN, after being depressed, she goes to Jacob and feels automatically better because a big strong hot guy is devoting all his time to her! And after saving her life, she leaves him after he begs her not to go. And when she comes back, what happens? Oh right, she claims Jacob left her when SHE left HIM. And everyone's on her side...SO NOT FAIR! And the Twitards still think she's perfect.

Let the torture continue.

Eclipse-Even though it was EXTRAORDINARILY OBVIOUS FROM THE BEGINNING, halfway through the book BELLA (yes, it has to be Bella who figures it out because she's SM's self-insert Mary Sue, and she HAS to be perfect, even when she isn't a vampire), finds out that Victoria and her army are out to get her and the same one who's killing people in Seattle.

So, after the fadas (They are NOT vempires) and cachorrinhos on drugs (They are NOT werewolves), win a fight over very inexperienced fadas (who they outnumber), Bella thinks "Wow, they're so strong and perfect". Then Jacob leaves because he's coração broken because of Bella, while the latter is living a wonderful life about to get married to a guy she's barely known a year.

And it CONTINUES! I hope you guys realize how I think of it right now.

Breaking Dawn-The wedding had now emotion. There was no detail on ANYTHING, except the flowers. WOW. And the Honeymoon? So NOT romantic. Not only did I feel like throwing up, but Bella gets to get pregnant and goes down in history (Perfect, isn't she. If you didn't detect the sarcasm, you're an idiot).

Then, when she comes back to Forks, Jacob tries to protect her, even though Bella broke him into pieces! SM Just wants everyone to think she's so important. I was shouting at the book to just leave Bella to die. And then, not only does she give birth to a healthy baby, SHE LIVES! And she doesn't sacrifice anything, because of her perfect self control (I think that annoys me the most in the entire story. mais than the demon baby that shouldn't exist).

And then, after gathering witnesses for the Volturi, they talk it out and leave. I was banging my head on the mesa, tabela at the stupidity. Meyer didn't have enough imagination or creativity to make fight scene.

Haven't you noticed that in the two out four books where there are fights, Bella is either unconscious, not there, or they're dancing. WOW, just proves how much creativity and great composição literária skills Meyer has. And in Breaking Dawn, there is supposed to be one, but the they just walk away.

That is the segundo reason I hate all the books. The first and biggest reason (which I wrote before), is that Bella is perfect. She gets everything. She sacrifices NOTHING!

Oh, and here are some things that aren't really plot holes, but are very strange.

In New Moon, when Edward was supposed to walk into the light and sparkle, how would anyone know he was a vampire. All they know are that vampiros are supposed to burn up. So how the hell does sparkling in the sun show that he's a vampire.

This is what the people would thing 'Wow, that guy put on way to much body glitter). Seriously, HOW ARE THEY SUPPOSED TO KNOW?!

How come, all the people in the series who don't like Bella are all ugly and selfish and are the villains. Even James was described as being normal looking for a vampire, which means he was ugly. And Victoria was described as having a babyish voice. Not the attractive one like the Cullens.

Yet, all the people who actually do like Bella are beautiful, kind, sweet and caring.

Okay, so everyone, say they disagree if they want, but back it up with a reason. Don't just say "BUT EDWARD ISS HAWT AND PERFECT!!!!!1!!!!1"

Oh, and feel free to comment, I like criticism, to see how I can improve (I want to be an author and JK Rowling and CS Lewis are my idols). But this was very quick. So sorry if there are so,e errors in my writing, okay?

PLEASE TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK!