Unlike love, fanpop is not a battlefield. You don't have to gear up and amass an army to command in a war against everyone who's ever wronged you. I recognize that things get said on this site por several different people that are hurtful, cruel, insensitive and just plain troll-ish. Depending on your personality, you might get a little hot-headed if someone says these things to you or your friends. But there are civil ways of dealing with these situations that don't involve flamethrowers and mustard gas. Conflicts can be resolved peaceably, or at least can be curtailed before they escalate into a full-blown flame war.
1) Private Messaging. Frankly, if there are nasty words going back and forth in private, that's absolutely none of my business. If you want to go all "Viva La Resistance!" and fight fogo with fire, be my guest. But please, keep the rest of us out of it. If someone insults you or is rude to you, rather than making a spectacle, send them a message about it. That way you can deal with the problem por yelling or croquete, croquet for all I care and you don't drag other (often innocent) users into the fray. This is the best and most ideal way to deal with any tense situation. It keeps your private conflict out of the limelight, and fanpop drama free.
2) "I cannot teach you violence, as I do not myself believe in it. I can only teach you not to bow your heads before any one even at the cost of your life." If you can't solve this privately, or the person will not relent even after you have asked them to stop, this step may help. Gandhi has become the poster-child for pacifism. Sure, he had his faults, but focusing on his teachings, keep his philosophy in mind. You don't have to stand there and take it, but if someone is obviously saying things for the sole purpose of getting a rise out of you, recognize this. "Be the bigger person" and ignore them or quietly reply to them. Remember the concept of non-violent resistance? It works with words, too. Also remember, Gandhi was dealing with a lot mais crap than you are on a little website, and he still managed to be peaceable. So you have no excuse, really.
3) Perspective. If this is a serious conflict between someone who believes you have done him/her wrong, then try and find out why. Step outside of your body and try and see things from a different point of view. Try to figure out where your opponent is coming from, what s/he is feeling, and why. It might help you in step four.
4) Analyze the problem. If there's serious conflict, there's a problem that needs to be addressed. Why is this user attacking you? Is it out of defense, malice, prejudice, or misunderstanding? The cause of the problem dictates how it should be dealt with. If you try and solve the problem rather than hurling insults at everyone who disagrees with you, you might actually accomplish something rather than talk in circles.
5) Apologize. Don't be afraid to give or accept apologies. If someone offers you one as a peace offering, don't snub it. If you give one and it is snubbed, don't take it back and start yelling again. If you feel that you are at an impasse in your argument, try and offer a compromise. "I'm sorry I said this, but it was only because you did this." It may cause the other person (assuming that s/he is rational) to reply, "You're right, I'm sorry I did that, but it was having a bad day." And viola, you have it all sorted out.
It really isn't hard to deal with conflict rationally and maturely. If you are dealing with an irrational, immature user, then feel free to denunciar him/her, but don't get vindictive about it. It's times like these where step 2 is the most useful.
Hopefully, this will help in future conflicts. Unfortunately, I doubt it. I kind of have this feeling that I'm preaching to the choir.
1) Private Messaging. Frankly, if there are nasty words going back and forth in private, that's absolutely none of my business. If you want to go all "Viva La Resistance!" and fight fogo with fire, be my guest. But please, keep the rest of us out of it. If someone insults you or is rude to you, rather than making a spectacle, send them a message about it. That way you can deal with the problem por yelling or croquete, croquet for all I care and you don't drag other (often innocent) users into the fray. This is the best and most ideal way to deal with any tense situation. It keeps your private conflict out of the limelight, and fanpop drama free.
2) "I cannot teach you violence, as I do not myself believe in it. I can only teach you not to bow your heads before any one even at the cost of your life." If you can't solve this privately, or the person will not relent even after you have asked them to stop, this step may help. Gandhi has become the poster-child for pacifism. Sure, he had his faults, but focusing on his teachings, keep his philosophy in mind. You don't have to stand there and take it, but if someone is obviously saying things for the sole purpose of getting a rise out of you, recognize this. "Be the bigger person" and ignore them or quietly reply to them. Remember the concept of non-violent resistance? It works with words, too. Also remember, Gandhi was dealing with a lot mais crap than you are on a little website, and he still managed to be peaceable. So you have no excuse, really.
3) Perspective. If this is a serious conflict between someone who believes you have done him/her wrong, then try and find out why. Step outside of your body and try and see things from a different point of view. Try to figure out where your opponent is coming from, what s/he is feeling, and why. It might help you in step four.
4) Analyze the problem. If there's serious conflict, there's a problem that needs to be addressed. Why is this user attacking you? Is it out of defense, malice, prejudice, or misunderstanding? The cause of the problem dictates how it should be dealt with. If you try and solve the problem rather than hurling insults at everyone who disagrees with you, you might actually accomplish something rather than talk in circles.
5) Apologize. Don't be afraid to give or accept apologies. If someone offers you one as a peace offering, don't snub it. If you give one and it is snubbed, don't take it back and start yelling again. If you feel that you are at an impasse in your argument, try and offer a compromise. "I'm sorry I said this, but it was only because you did this." It may cause the other person (assuming that s/he is rational) to reply, "You're right, I'm sorry I did that, but it was having a bad day." And viola, you have it all sorted out.
It really isn't hard to deal with conflict rationally and maturely. If you are dealing with an irrational, immature user, then feel free to denunciar him/her, but don't get vindictive about it. It's times like these where step 2 is the most useful.
Hopefully, this will help in future conflicts. Unfortunately, I doubt it. I kind of have this feeling that I'm preaching to the choir.
